Then Came You

by Cherelle Louise

  “I think you should definitely paint it,” I tell her. “Anything to get rid of this pink.”

  “I know, right,” she scoffs. “Her daughter must have been some princess pussy.” I snort in surprise, making her grin at me. “Or maybe she was just colour blind. Either way, it has got to go.”

  “Amen.”

  Fifteen minutes later, and we’re flicking through various magazines and talking about how lame articles are. “Oh, wow: another bimbo got a boob job? Good luck when you get old and wrinkly, babe.” Dana scolds, throwing the horrendous magazine across her room. “I’m bored.”

  “Me too,” I admit.

  She sits up suddenly. “Can we check out your album now? I wanna see your baby pictures!” She pouts, batting her eyelids at me in attempt to make me agree. I nod reluctantly, and she giggles and picks it up from the end of the bed, opening it eagerly.

  I watch her eyes dart from one picture to another, her red-nailed fingers flipping the pages over slowly. “Is this your mum?” She asks carefully, stroking a picture of my mum, laughing, her bright eyes sparkling and her dark hair flowing over her shoulders.

  I nod sadly. “Yeah; she was always so happy when I was around. I guess I was just too young and naive to notice it wasn’t real. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss her any less.”

  She looks up at me, before nodding in understanding. We go silent and she carries on looking at the pictures, and I brave myself to look at them over her shoulder, a lump in my throat as each one brings back memories.

  My body goes cold and rigid when she turns the page, a picture of my and Jason smiling into a camera big and bold on the page. She looks up at me with a smirk. “Who is he? Talk about yum, huh?”

  “He, uh, we used to date. For, like, a few weeks.” I stammer, looking away in pain. She raises an eyebrow in curiosity.

  “What happened?” She asks me.

  I gulp, tears threatening to spill over my eyes as memories flash back into my mind. I make a strangled sound similar to a sob, and she jumps, startled, and puts her arms around me. “Darcy?”

  “It ended not long after my mum died,” I whispers. “He r-raped me at a party.”

  She curses under her breath, pulling back to look me in the eye. “He what?” She gasps. “Bloody hell.”

  “I’m over it now,” I say firmly.

  She looks at me with narrowed eyes, before shaking her head. “No, you’re not. I can see it in your eyes. It’s killing you inside.”

  “Then maybe I should just let it kill me already,” I sigh, falling back on the bed and covering my face with my hands. “I never told anyone, you know.”

  She growls lowly, and moves my hands so I can see her glare. “You mean he got away with it? He raped you, Darcy! He should be in jail for what he’s done!”

  “It was too much,” I protest. “Mum was dead and dad was losing it, I couldn’t just add another problem to the list. Just please – promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

  She looks troubled, her brow knitted and her eyes filled with concern as she mulls it over. “I don’t know, Darcy-“

  “Promise me,” I insist, gripping her hand tightly between both of mine, staring into her eyes pleadingly. “Please.”

  She nods slowly, almost regretfully as she gulps. “I-I promise, Darcy. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

  Chapter 28

  Clara was laughing so hard that she fell into the pot noodle boxes, scattering plastic pots over the storage room. Tears leak from her eyes as she calms down, only to start laughing once again as the pot noodles roll away. She’s been this way since I got here.

  I stare at her in confusion and wonder during her laughing fit, not daring to breathe until she’s collected herself and is normal once again, smiling at me like it never happened.

  “Sorry, I haven’t slept in a while. Energy drinks kinda make me go hyper,” she shrugs.

  I nod slowly, before bending down to pick up a pot noodle in front of me. “Maybe you should get some sleep then.” I say in a duh voice, making her scoff.

  “Like I haven’t tried. And anyway, you’re one to talk Miss ‘I can’t sleep because I have so many problems going on with my life’. When are you going to take your own advice?” She points out, leaning back on the boxes behind her.

  I shrug, “When I actually need to take it? That’s not relevant right now, anyway. My life is perfectly fine at the moment.”

  “Yeah, but fine isn’t great,” she sighs, shaking her head slowly. “Silly Martyr, when will you learn?”

  “Ha ha, very funny: don’t give up your day job, will you?” I say sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at her. “And speaking of which, pick up those pot noodles already – it’s a health hazard!”

  “Yeah, yeah, mum,” she mumbles, before walking over to where a majority of them have gathered in the middle of the room. “Jeez, since when did you become so bossy?”

  Her words reminded me of an argument I’d had with my dad the previous night: he’d turned up once again, but he was in a grumpy mood, and so was I. I’d had enough of his disappearing acts and I wanted to get some answers from him.

  I was sat in the kitchen when he strolled in, grabbing a few beers from the fridge and stumbling into the livingroom to drink his night away. Fuming, I’d stormed into the room and stood in front of the TV.

  “I want to know the truth,” I’d said pointedly, trying hard to ignore the burning sensation in my throat as I met his glare with one of my own. Why has it come to this?

  He’d scoffed at me, “you know it, you just won’t accept it. Now move, you’re in the way of the TV.”

  Rolling my eyes, I’d stood my ground. “I want to know,” I started, but my voice broke before I could finish. “Why do you keep leaving me?” I whispered.

  “Because you remind me of her, and I hate that. I just want to forget, so will you stop being so goddam bossy and let me!?” He’d burst in anger, and I’d stumbled back slightly.

  I’d decided to give it one last try: “Just – just tell me why! If she hated you so much, then why do you even care if she’s gone?”

  He gave me a look over his can of beer and finished it in one last gulp, smashing it between his hands. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  I returned to the presence as Clara told me my shift was over and that I could go home. I smiled weakly at her and we hugged like always, before I walked out the storage room and out the back door, into the cool night air.

  In the chilly walk back, I thought about what had happened in the past few months, and also what happened with dad. He’d stormed out of the house after a load more beers, and it was surprising how numb about it – I used to care so much. It used to hurt me when he’d leave and get drunk.

  It still does, a small voice pipes up in the back of my mind. I push the voice back down and go back to last night. He didn’t seem hurt one bit – he was a broken shell of a man, barely alive anymore. There was nothing left of the man I used to know. He was long gone.

  I get home in a foul mood, opening the door carelessly and throwing my bag on the kitchen table, making it shake and rattle. I scowl at it until is stills, before getting a glass of water. I decide to make a start on my homework, and fifteen minutes later, I regret it. Growling, moaning and close to tears, I push the papers, books and pens away from my and drop my head on the table, taking deep, lungful’s of air as I stare at the pale pine wood of the table. Cheap wood, tacky wood. It’s not like we could afford anything else.

  I’m pathetic, I realise. Getting upset over a table. Just do something.

  I sniff, lifting my head and looking around hopelessly. Music, I decide, and I stand up, the chair shrieking against the tiles on the and making me wince. I put the glass in the sink and I’m about to head upstairs when the doorbell goes. I freeze, not expecting company, and hesitantly make my way to the door.

  I open it with the latch on, and my eyes widen when I see the very familiar police officer looking back at me with a raise
d eyebrow. “Hello again,” he grumbles, and I close the door and open it fully with a sigh.

  My eyes automatically swivel to my dad, who looks grubby, dirty and drunk as he wobbles on his own two feet, even with the help of the officers hands on his arms. I gulp, and panic knots in my chest as I step out of the way to let them both in.

  “I’m guessing you know why I’m here, right?” He starts, watching as my dad falls on the sofa with a dull thud and falls asleep immediately. I ignore him, staring at the officer grimly.

  “Yeah, it’s not hard to guess,” I mumble. “How much?”

  “Six hundred.”

  A shriek worms it’s way out of my mouth and my eyes widen. “Y-you’re kidding, right?” I protest, taking deep breathes in and out, shocked. “T-that’s a lot of wages!”

  “I’m sorry, miss, but it is what it is,” he gives me a speculative look as he writes something on his notepad. “I’m also going to have to issue your father a warning.”

  The breath leaves me once more. “A warning? What for?”

  “Well, miss,” he sighs. “You’re father has had three mishaps already with being drunk and disorderly. If another situation should occur, it won’t be a fine – it will be court, and he will most likely get time in prison or therapy sessions to sort himself out.”

  “Prison,” I breath the word out. Well, at least I’d know where he is. But, still- my dad? In prison? I never thought, not once, that it would come to this. “Surely that can’t happen.”

  “It might,” he rolls his eyes and rips the paper out, handing it to me. “You’ll need to hand this in to the police station along with the fine documents and the cheque for the damage – same as usual.”

  “I know,” I force out through gritted teeth, my grip on the paper tightening and making it crumple. He watches I worriedly, almost like he thinks I’m going to hurt it, before nodding at me and smiling conceitedly.

  “Well, have a good day, ma’am.” He walks out the door cheery and carefree, and I slam it behind him angrily. I throw the fine on the ground, huff out a huge breath, and fall against the wall, sobbing.

  Just when I feel like things are starting to go right, it all comes crashing down.

  Chapter 29

  The next morning I got up to school feeling numb. I shoved my hair in a scruffy bun, I threw on the first pair of jeans and the first hoodie I could find and I spaced out as I brushed my teeth. I didn’t bother looking in the mirror, not wanting to see the broken shell of a girl in my place. I knew I looked a wreck, and I didn’t need my reflection to tell me that.

  I grabbed the last, bruised apple and pocketed the fine and the cheque to take to the station after school – I just wanted to get it over and done with now. I’d been saving the money for college, but that idea was down the drain. All because my dad couldn’t stay away from the booze and keep himself in check. It was ridiculous.

  He’d been staying in his room since that night, and I haven’t seen him come out. Maybe he was drunk, maybe he was sleeping. Or maybe, just maybe, he felt bad for his actions.

  Yeah, he was probably drunk.

  I walked to school that morning, not wanting to be with my friends anymore then I had to today. It’s not like I’d be great company anyway. I’d just got in the school gates when a certain pink-haired girl squealed and charged at me, a loopy grin on her face.

  “Darcy, guess what! Ben is staying for the whole year! Isn’t that amazing?” She sang in a giddy voice, her eyes filled with adoration. “He’s staying with his mum over here because she’s meeting some family members blah blah blah… but isn’t it great!”

  I shrug, “I guess so.

  Her face falls slightly at my lack of emotion, but I don’t have it in me to apologize or smile for her. “Oh, right… Well, I guess I’ll go find Joey and tell him the good news. Um, are you sure you’re alright?”

  “I’m fine,” I force out between clenched teeth. She hovers slightly, looking unsure. Eventually, I snap. “Weren’t you going to find Joey?”

  “Right…” she gulps, before darting off. I watch her, felling… empty. I probably went to far. Great – now I’ve hurt my friend.

  I hear a ‘huh’ behind me, and I turn away to see Dana staring at me with a raised eyebrow. “That was… harsh, baby doll. Way harsh. Did something happen?”

  I shake my head at her, frowning. “No, nothing happened. Can’t you just leave me alone?” I snap, wincing immediately. “I-I didn’t mean that,” I force out, looking at her sadly. She chews her lips before shrugging.

  “It happens; but I think you owe Remy an apology,” she nodded at the pink haired rainbow unicorn as she spoke animatedly with a very amused looking Joey. “She may be crazy and hyper, but she is human.”

  “I get it,” I sigh. “But I just feel like everything is suffocating me and I just can’t cope anymore.”

  “I know,” her brow furrows in concern as she places a comforting hand on my arm.

  I snap again, shaking her off and stepping back. “No, you don’t. You don’t ‘know’ what I’m going through, and I doubt you ever could.”

  She winces. “I don’t know, Darcy, but I understand, and I want to help-“

  “I don’t want help!” I burst in outrage, stepping back again. “I don’t need help! Stop trying to fix everything!”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “I try to fix everything? Me?” She laughs cynically. “Coming from Miss Goody Goody who can’t do a thing wrong – the girl who solves everybody’s problems with a wave of her magic wand! Maybe it’s you who needs to learn that you can’t fix everything – because you’re certainly trying hard enough with everyone else’s problems but your own!”

  “Because it’s easier!” I shout at her. “It’s easier to help everyone else’s problems, because I forget about my own!”

  “And that’s your problem!” She yells back at me. “You don’t give a shit about yourself and to be perfectly honest then yeah, sometimes it pisses me off! I try to help you, but you never openly come to me for help, I have to practically force your secrets out of you, even though it’s killing you inside. You’ve built so many fucking walls around yourself that even you don’t know how to take them down!”

  “But I don’t want to take them down,” I spit at her, my blood boiling as the girl who was my best friend glares back at me sharply. “Because it’s too hard and it’s scary!”

  “Well then stop being scared,” she huffs. “Because that’s what’s holding you back the most; you’re afraid of living.”

  I felt hurt, and the sudden rush of shock hit me when I realised that she was right: I was afraid of living. But in the heat of the argument, you just never really stop to think that what the other person said is true. “Just fuck off, Dana,” I scoff at her. “Leave me alone.”

  “Oh, I will,” I huffs, shaking her head at me before marching off. “And Darcy? Have a nice ‘life’.”

  I was about to scream in frustration, and then I felt the eyes on me. Turning round, I realised that everyone had been watching in shock, even Remy and Joey. Remy shook her head and ran off in the direction Dana had stormed, and Joey jogged over to me, a concerned frown on his face.

  “Darcy, what just happened?” He asks me.

  I shake my head at him sadly, still angry from the argument. “Just leave me alone, Joey. Please. I’m really not in the mood.”

  He nods in understanding, watching sadly as I walk away with my shoulders hunched and my first clenched. It really wasn’t a good time to talk to me.

  Just as that thought ran into my head, a pair of hands slipped over my eyes. “Guess who?”

  Of course, I recognised the voice immediately, but loving him didn’t excuse him from my anger. “Not now, Tyler – I just want to be left alone.”

  He sighed and turned me around so he could look at me, his warm eyes searching mine. “Is everything okay?”

  I roll my eyes at him and clench my jaw. “Of course,” I force out between my teeth. “Why wouldn’t
it be?”

  “Because you’re angry and moody, and you’re eyes are filled with pain. I love you, Darcy and I told you I don’t want to see you hurt. Are you going to tell me what’s hurting you so I can help?”

  “No,” I snap. “Because there are something you just can’t fix, Tyler.”

  “Right,” he sighs, running a hand through his tousled hair in irritation. “Because nobody can help you, right Darcy? You’re problems just can’t be fixed, so what’s the point in even trying?” He laughs bitterly. “I thought when there was a problem, you could go to the one you love, but obviously that’s not the case with you.” He looks pained at he takes my hands in his. “Why don’t you trust me?”

  “I do,” I insist, panicking as I look up at him. “I love you, so of course I trust you!”

  “Really?” He shakes his head in disappointment, dropping my hands and taking a step back, a step away from me. “Because it sure doesn’t feel like it.” And with that, he walks away, too. And I can’t do anything but watch after him pathetically, feeling like the biggest loser in the world.

  In just under fifteen minutes, I’ve managed to lose all my friends and my boyfriend.

  Chapter 30

  For the rest of the week, I was on my own. I felt like a failure, and a huge one at that. Then again, my whole life was a failure. I think I almost gave up on life completely in that week; I just didn’t care anymore. And it’s not like anybody cared about me. I was a loner, a loser, and a broken girl. Nobody wants to have anything to do with a broken girl. They’re just too damaged.

  I lay in my bed listening to Amy Lee sing about pain. The lyrics scream recognition at me as tears dripped onto my navy duvet. No one’s here and I fall into myself… don’t give in to the pain… immobilized by my fear…

  “You’re scared,” Dana’s voice yells in my head over and over. “You’re afraid of living.”