by Paula Kay
“San Francisco was great. I have so much to tell you—about everything—my father, sister, and the house! Jemma, can you believe that I saw the house that my mother grew up in? It was—”
“—Are you officially changing the subject on me now then?” Jemma was grinning, but Isabella knew that she’d be talking to her about everything now. “I mean, of course I want to hear all about your dad, but can we just stay on the subject of what happened between you and Thomas? Because by the look on your face, I’m pretty sure that there’s something you’re not telling me.”
Isabella sighed and took a bite of her sandwich. “Well, okay. So, nothing happened—not really. But we had a great time and this especially awesome day shopping in downtown San Francisco. It felt like old times together and I guess, if I’m being honest, something feels different to me.”
“Different how?”
Isabella cringed, reluctant to say the words out loud. Having the thoughts in her head were one thing, but speaking them to another person somehow meant that she had to learn to deal with them—to stifle them somehow. “Okay, Jemma. You promise you’re not going to hold this against me, as I’m really not sure exactly how I’m feeling, but really I do think I need to talk about this with someone.”
“And I’m your someone.” Jemma grinned. “Go on. What happened?”
“Okay, so nothing really happened. It’s more about how I’m feeling. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there were definitely moments where I wanted something to happen—moments where I didn’t want to look at Thomas as only my best friend any more. But, Jemma—it’s not more than that. And I don’t want to ruin our friendship. That’s the last thing I want and I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. You know?”
Jemma was nodding her head. “Yeah, I do get that. But what if Thomas is…”
“What? Is what?”
“What if he’s the one for you? I mean, it could be that you two are soulmates, you know.”
“What a romantic idea.” Isabella rolled her eyes.
“What? You don’t believe in love all of a sudden?” Jemma laughed.
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess it’s just hard for me not to picture Thomas as my friend—when you get right down to it, I mean.” She shook her head. “And honestly. I shouldn’t even be talking like this. It would appear that Thomas is in love with Natasha.”
Jemma was shaking her head. “I don’t know. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that?”
“Really. I’d put money on the fact that he is not interested in you only as a friend—or maybe he’s not being honest with himself about it either—but I can see what’s there with my own two eyes.”
Isabella was quiet, lost in her thoughts about the movie night that she and Thomas had had together in her hotel room. She took a deep breath. “Well, if I’m being honest, I feel like something almost happened one night—actually it was only last night.” She laughed, thinking that she needed a good nap soon.
Isabella related the events of the night to Jemma, not leaving anything out, including the fact that she’d wanted something to happen. She’d wanted Thomas to kiss her last night. She told Jemma how he’d been with her the next day and how relieved that she was that nothing had seemed awkward between them.
When she was finished, Jemma was quiet.
“Jem? What are you thinking? I’m crazy, right?”
“No, not all. Now I just feel more sure than ever. But I also get what you’re saying about not wanting to ruin the friendship. It’s easy for me to tease you about it and want to believe in true love—especially for you.” She grinned. “But also the friendship between you two is special—anyone can see that. And well, we know what can happen when relationships don’t work out, so I get why there’s a lot to think about—a lot to be sure about.”
Isabella nodded. “So, I should just leave things alone, right? I mean, I don’t know what I’m even talking about. I think it probably is all in my head.” She laughed lightly.
“I don’t know. I mean the way you’re describing how he was with you in your hotel room doesn’t sound to me like it was just in your head.”
“Well, he has always been pretty affectionate with me. So maybe it really was nothing. It just felt like more to me, I guess. And nothing did happen. So there’s that too.”
“Well, yeah but who knows what might have happened if you’d not been interrupted by Colin’s call, right? It sounds like that was a bit of a mood killer—and something else we need to talk about, by the way.”
“Colin? I’m pretty sure that’s over. Well, I haven’t told him that yet, I guess, but I’m really not interested. And I should just be honest with him about it.” She was thoughtful. “But you are right that the phone call did seem to have an effect on the night. That’s for sure.”
“Time will tell, I guess. Maybe a lot will depend on how things go between him and Natasha now that he’s back. Oh and by the way, I’m pretty sure Natasha is jealous of you—or at least the relationship that you and Thomas have.”
“Well, I do kind of get that impression. She doesn’t hide her feelings for me very well, and it’s becoming beyond awkward.”
“She asked me if I thought you had feelings for him—at the airport just earlier, while we were waiting for you guys.”
“Really? What did you say?”
“I just told her that you were best friends—that she didn’t have anything to worry about.”
Isabella laughed. “Well, good. And the truth. So that’s that then. Now, can I tell you about my new family?” She laughed, reaching for her phone so that she could show Jemma all the photos that she’d taken.
“Absolutely. Tell me everything.”
Chapter 30
Isabella bit her bottom lip as she sent the text off to Thomas. It had been over two weeks since they’d gotten back to London and she hadn’t seen him since that day. She had the distinct impression that Thomas was avoiding her, and it was starting to make her feel physically sick to her stomach.
Jemma was sure that it had more to do with Natasha, but all Isabella could think about was that last night in San Francisco. Maybe their time together had created more awkwardness than Thomas had first let on.
She looked down to reread her text, annoyed that he wasn’t getting back to her.
Can we meet for lunch today? Please?
She jumped as her phone buzzed with an incoming text finally.
Sorry. I don’t think I can today.
Isabella felt her heart lurch. This was getting really ridiculous.
Thomas, what’s going on? I miss you. Are you mad at me?
No. Not at all. Hold on. I’m going to call you.
Finally. Isabella felt an almost instant sense of relief when her phone buzzed a few seconds later.
“Thomas, what is going on? Seriously!”
“I know. I’m sorry, Iz. I’ve been terrible.”
“Worse than terrible.” Isabella laughed lightly, trying to lighten the mood now that they were actually speaking. “Can you meet me for lunch? Please?”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm, what? Is Natasha there or something?”
“No, she’s at work.”
“Okay, so let’s go to the diner you were telling me about. My treat.”
Thomas laughed on the other end of the line. “Well then, how can I say no to that?”
“Exactly. Your two favorite things.”
“And that would be? Burgers and…?”
“Your best friend, of course. Seriously, Thomas, I’ve really missed you”
“I miss you too, Iz.”
They both went quiet for a few seconds before Thomas spoke again. “So, meet me there in an hour? I’ll text you the address when we hang up.”
“I’ll be there.”
Isabella hung up feeling relieved. She’d talked herself into all sorts of things over the past few days—all the possible reasons why she might never see her
best friend again. In the end, she knew that would never happen. She’d never let it, and she was pretty sure that Thomas wouldn’t either.
She pulled on a sweater and grabbed her heavy coat and gloves. The temperatures had decreased a lot lately and she was actually finding that she quite enjoyed London during the winter.
She scribbled a note for Jemma, who was out doing some shopping.
FINALLY meeting up with T for some lunch. Wish me luck! Pizza and a movie in tonight?
Outside, she glanced down at the address that Thomas had sent her, then crossed the street to the tube station.
Isabella looked at the time on her phone as the tube pulled up to her stop. She was fifteen minutes early, just enough time to get her thoughts together. Since Thomas hadn’t brought up Christmas to her at all, she assumed it meant that he’d be staying in London, but she’d try one more time just in case he only needed another invitation.
She smiled as she walked up to the diner. It looked very similar to the one back home—their diner—hers and Thomas’s. Her eyes scanned the restaurant, settling in on a booth in the back corner.
He was there. He was early. She grinned because it felt so familiar to her—meeting Thomas for lunch at the diner.
Just as she was making her way to the back, Thomas saw her, his whole face lighting up with his wide grin, and it instantly made her nerves disappear. It was only Thomas. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be just fine.
He stood up to give her a hug. “Iz. I have missed you. I promise.”
“Well, you could have fooled me.” She laughed lightly but she was ready to scold him a bit for being so absent lately. “What the heck happened to you?”
“I know.” He looked down at the menu that the waitress had already delivered.
“Well? You’re not going to give me an explanation?” She made sure her voice was light. She wasn’t really mad any more, but she was curious to know where his head was at.
“Okay. Promise you’re not going to lecture?”
“Mm-hm. Go ahead.”
“It’s Natasha.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, I dunno. I guess she’s feeling pretty insecure since the whole San Francisco trip—since I chose you over going to her cousin’s wedding with her. Her words, not mine. But I guess there’s some truth to it. I mean, between you and me, I didn’t really want to go to the wedding.” He winked.
“So the truth comes out. Now I know why you wanted to go to San Francisco with me. It wasn’t about the moral support at all, but the lesser of two evils.” Isabella laughed.
Thomas reached out to touch her arm, and Isabella felt her face flush almost instantly at the shock of his touch.
“No, that’s not it at all. But you’re teasing. I wanted to be there for you, and really—San Francisco was great, wasn’t it?”
Was she imagining the look in his eyes? She shook her arm free from his touch, trying to be discreet about it as she picked up her menu. She looked over at him, and he was looking at her pretty intently still.
“Yeah, it was really great. I’d missed spending time with you, and then San Francisco was almost like old times and then—then I hardly hear from you for two weeks. I wasn’t quite sure what to think.”
“I know. Natasha was very upset. By the time we’d arrived back here, I thought that she was over the whole thing, but she was very angry with me about it still. She pretty much made me promise that I’d focus on her and I—that if I really cared about her, I’d care about her feelings about you and me hanging out so much.”
“I see.”
“Okay. I see that look and I know this isn’t making a lot of sense to you.”
“Well, is Natasha trying to say that you and I can’t be friends any more or what? Because I’m not gonna lie, if you choose her over our friendship, yeah it’s really going to hurt me, Thomas. I would never do that to you.” Before Isabella could even think about holding back, she felt the tears stinging her eyes. She couldn’t imagine her life without Thomas in it. She never truly thought it would come to that, and the thought of it was almost unbearable to her.
“Iz, stop. Don’t cry.” Thomas came around to the opposite side of the booth to sit next to her, wrapping his arms around her before she even knew what was happening. “That’s not going to happen. I promise. I figure that she just needs a little time. That’s all. Everything’s going to be fine. I’ll make sure of it, okay? Iz?” He tilted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I’m never going to choose anyone over you, not even Natasha.”
“Promise, you big jerk.” Isabella smiled and wiped the rest of her tears away with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.
“Big jerk, huh?” Thomas laughed and scooted back over to his side of the booth just as the waitress came over to take their order. “We’ll have two cheeseburgers, two chocolate shakes, and your double order of fries.” He smiled at Isabella and winked as he turned back to the waitress. “And can you put extra chili and extra cheese on those fries please? For my lovely date here.” He gestured to Isabella.
She could feel her face getting warm as the waitress walked away with their orders. “Yum!”
“I figured you’d like it. So you were saying? About me being a big jerk?”
“Okay, so you’re not that big of a jerk, but I don’t like this not talking—or even texting, for that matter—one bit.”
There was a funny look on Thomas’s face.
“What? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“So here’s where I ask you to try not to judge, okay? But I gotta talk about it to someone—to see how nuts I am.”
“Go on.”
“Okay, so I caught Natasha looking through my texts the other day.”
“Seriously? Thomas, I can’t believe that’s okay with—”
“—Wait. Let me finish, please.” He gave her a little smile. “So, of course I was really upset about it. I mean, I’ve never really dated anyone who seemed to have so little trust in me, you know?”
Isabella nodded her head. For as long as she’d known Thomas, he’d had no shortage of girlfriends, but one thing she did know about him was that he’d always been faithful to anyone he was exclusive with. He was a very loyal person, a quality that Isabella greatly appreciated about him.
“So anyway, we talked about it and she really opened up to me—about how insecure she was feeling and that she’d been incredibly jealous thinking about me with you on our trip. I’d never seen her like that before. And the truth is, I felt a little bad about being away—or maybe it was more about the great time that you and I had while we were together. I mean, she had at least a bit of a reason to be jealous, don’t you think?”
Thomas was looking across the table at her so intently. What exactly was he asking her? Isabella swallowed and tried to calm her racing heart as she thought about how she should answer him.
“I suppose so. If you’re talking about the fact that you chose to come with me instead of going to her cousin’s wedding. I guess I’d be feeling insecure also—if that was my boyfriend, I mean.”
Thomas held his eye contact with her until she looked down at her hands. Was that what he was talking about or was he referring to something else?—to the night on the sofa and the sparks that she could swear were there even though every day since then she’d done her best to talk herself out of thinking about it.
“Okay, so speaking of your boyfriend?”
“We weren’t.”
Thomas quirked his eyebrow.
“I called it off with Colin, but we weren’t talking about me, we were talking about you—and Natasha, right?”
“Did you? Poor guy. Guess he doesn’t really have the luck of the Irish when it comes to beautiful American women, huh?” Thomas winked.
Isabella tried not to dwell on the fact that Thomas had just called her beautiful. “So back to you and Natasha—I guess what you’re saying is that you’re willing to put up with some stuff from her, or wha
t are you saying? Are you so in love with her, Thomas?” There, she’d said it before she could even think about stopping herself. She had to know.
Thomas looked like he was thinking about the question. “The answer is I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t told her that I love her or anything. I guess she’s so different from anyone I’ve ever dated that it’s been interesting for me to be with her. I like that she’s different. She’s driven and smart and quite lovely to look at.”
Why? Why did I have to ask him about Natasha? It was all Isabella could do to keep from putting her hands over her ears while Thomas talked about all the things he liked about her. She tried to smile, wanting desperately to change the subject.
“Okay, I get it. You’re not sure enough that she isn’t the one—not sure enough to not be with her, I mean.”
“Well, I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say that I think she’s the one or anything. It’s too soon to tell.”
“Well, I feel like I should just ask you this to get it over with now, but I’m pretty sure I know the answer.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m guessing that you’ve decided not to join us—Jemma and me—in Tuscany for Christmas, then?” She held her breath in, waiting for him to answer.
He shook his head. “No. As much as I’d love to be with you for the holidays—to meet your whole family—I really think I need to be here this Christmas.”
“And Natasha would kill you for leaving.” Isabella laughed lightly.
“Iz, that’s not fair to her. It is Christmas, right? And—well, between you and me, in my mind, I’m sorta giving us until the holidays—to see how the next few weeks go. Natasha has been a bit stressed lately, but she’s been crazy busy at work and I want to just see how things go when she has a few days off.”
The waitress put their food down on the table in front of them, and Isabella’s stomach growled in response to the burgers and loaded fries in front of her.
“Iz? You’re not mad about Christmas, are you?”
She shook her head. “No, I understand. You gotta do what you gotta do. As long as that doesn’t require you throwing me to the curb, I’m good with it.” She smiled at him to reassure him.