‘I think you’d better,’ James said.
The receptionist had a short conversation before putting down the receiver.
‘Mac’s coming over ASAP,’ the receptionist said. ‘I don’t know what you two have done, but judging by the tone of his voice, I wouldn’t want to switch shoes with you at the moment.’
A few minutes later, Mac rolled up the gravel driveway outside in one of the golf buggies the staff used to move around campus.
‘This way,’ he said stiffly, striding through reception.
He pulled a great bunch of keys out of his jacket and unlocked his door.
‘Sit at the desk.’
James nervously sank into one of the leather chairs at the big oak desk. Lauren looked ready to start crying again.
‘So, young lady,’ Mac snapped. ‘Would you be so kind as to tell me why my senior training instructor is lying in the medical unit with a serious concussion and eight stitches in the side of his head?’
‘I’m really, really sorry,’ Lauren grovelled. ‘He made me so mad. Poor Bethany could hardly stand up and Mr Large wouldn’t leave her alone.’
‘If Bethany was injured, she should have quit,’ Mac said. ‘It wasn’t your business to interfere.’
‘So what are you gonna do to her?’ James asked.
‘I don’t like expelling people,’ Mac said. ‘But if I don’t expel a cherub for a serious assault on a member of staff, then what exactly do you get expelled for?’
‘I know what Lauren did is wrong,’ James said. ‘But it’s not like she walked into a classroom and belted a teacher for no reason. She was knackered and she was watching one of her friends get tortured by a raving lunatic. Everyone wants to take a swing at Mr Large at some point during basic training. It’s just unlucky Lauren happened to have a spade nearby when the thought crossed her mind.’
‘Hmm,’ Mac said, covering a tiny smile with his fingers. ‘I suppose there’s an element of truth in that. If I did expel Lauren, though, we’d send her to a good school and set her up with a foster family near campus so that you could visit her at weekends.’
‘I don’t care if she only lives across the street,’ James said. ‘If she goes, I’m going with her. We were separated after our mum died and I don’t ever want that again.’
‘Recruiting cherubs is tricky,’ Mac said, ‘and I don’t want to lose either of you two. But if I allow Lauren to stay, she’ll have to accept a stiff punishment; otherwise, we’ll have every kid on campus taking pot shots at the training staff.’
‘Please let me stay,’ Lauren begged. ‘I’ll do whatever you want and I’ll be so good, I swear.’
‘James,’ Mac said. ‘Do you have any thoughts on how we should make Lauren suffer?’
James looked uneasily at his sister.
‘It’s obviously got to be the worst punishment going,’ he said. ‘And it’ll have to last the whole two and a bit months until she can restart basic training.’
‘Agreed,’ Mac nodded.
‘What about cleaning toilets and changing rooms?’ James said. ‘Everyone always says that’s really horrible.’
‘Not hard enough,’ Mac said, sweeping the idea away with his hand. ‘Kids get toilets and changing rooms for swearing or skipping lessons. It’s unpleasant, but all it boils down to is pushing a mop and squirting disinfectant.’
‘Worse than toilets, then,’ James said, trying to work out how Mac had twisted the situation around so that he was trying to think up some awful punishment for the person he was supposed to be helping out.
‘Well,’ Mac grinned. ‘It just so happens, I did have an idea. There’s a drainage problem in the wooded area on the far side of campus. The fields keep flooding because the ditches have gradually become blocked up with silt. I reckon someone Lauren’s size would take a couple of months to clean them all out. She’ll have to work hard, every day before and after school, plus all day on Saturdays and Sundays. How do you like the sound of that, Lauren?’
‘I’ve got to be punished,’ Lauren said, nodding meekly. ‘If that’s what you want, I’ll do it.’
‘Ditches it is,’ Mac said, clapping his hands together. ‘And I’ll be putting you on final warning, Lauren. That means if you do one more thing wrong, you’ll get kicked out. And I mean every tiny thing. Run in the corridor, you’re out. Miss a homework assignment, you’re out. Get to class late, you’re out. For the next three months, you’re walking on eggshells. Your behaviour must be immaculate. Is that understood?’
Lauren nodded.
‘And there’s one more condition,’ Mac said. ‘For you, James.’
‘For me?’ James gasped.
Mac nodded. ‘You’ve talked me into giving Lauren a final chance. In return, I want something from you. If Lauren breaches her final warning, I want you to promise that you’ll stay at CHERUB.’
James thought for a couple of seconds. ‘But you’ll put her with a family nearby so I can still see her when I’m not on missions?’
Mac nodded. ‘That seems reasonable.’
‘I suppose, then,’ James said.
It seemed pretty convenient, the way Mac had found the perfect punishment for Lauren. James suspected Mac had worked everything out in advance. The expulsion threat was a ploy to make him and Lauren squirm.
‘And of course, Lauren,’ Mac grinned, ‘once you’ve cleaned out those ditches and start your second attempt at basic training, I’m sure Mr Large will wreak his own special revenge.’
*
Lauren slept in James’ room. The bed was a double, but the two of them still cuddled up in the middle. Lauren woke early and didn’t seem too miserable, considering that the next five months of her life looked like being a living hell.
‘Have you got a diary?’ she asked.
‘It’s in my desk,’ James said, still buried under his duvet.
Lauren used the diary to work out that it was one hundred and seventy-four days until she finished her punishment and basic training. She took a sheet of paper and began writing the numbers from 174 down to zero in her neatest writing.
James poked his head out of his covers. ‘What are you doing, Lauren?’
‘Making a countdown chart. For the next hundred and seventy-four days, I’m not gonna whinge or cry about anything. I’ll take this piece of paper everywhere I go. However bad it gets, all I’m going to think about is how many hours it is until I can tick off the next number. In one hundred and seventy-four days I will pass basic training. I swear it, on our mum’s grave.’
James scrambled out of bed.
‘No way,’ he said angrily. ‘You can’t swear something like that on Mum’s grave. Some things are out of your control. What if you get injured, or sick?’
‘I won’t,’ Lauren said sternly. ‘If something hurts, I’ll close my eyes and think about the piece of paper in my pocket.’
‘It’s a good idea to focus your mind,’ James said, sliding his legs into a pair of tracksuit bottoms. ‘But try and be realistic. There are quite a few kids who’ve taken three or more attempts to get through basic training. You could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment.’
Lauren stood in front of James and barked an order. ‘Slap my face.’
‘Yeah, I’m really gonna hit you,’ James said, shaking his head with contempt.
‘I’ll show you I can take it,’ Lauren said. ‘As hard as you like.’
‘Give us a break, Lauren. You realise we could have lain in bed for at least another half hour?’
Lauren lunged forward, grabbed hold of James’ nipple and gave it a savage twist. James rolled backwards on to his bed, howling in pain.
‘What the hell did you do that for?’ he shouted.
‘Slap my damn face,’ Lauren shouted back.
‘You really want to see how tough you are?’ James raged. ‘Fine. Maybe I’ll knock some sense into you.’
There was a sharp crack as his hand hit her face. It was more painful than Lauren had expected, but she
stifled her groan and toughed it out with a thin-lipped smile.
‘One hundred and seventy-four days,’ Lauren said. ‘Believe it.’
James grinned. ‘Will you be coming down to breakfast with me, or are you too tough for food as well?’
*
There were about sixty cherubs in the dining-hall when James and Lauren arrived. It took a couple of seconds for the room to go quiet, then chairs grated backwards and everyone stood up and started clapping and banging cutlery on the table. There were shouts of Lauren and whistles as well.
Shakeel was standing nearby; James looked over at him.
‘What’s this all about?’
‘Your sister,’ he said, as if James was some kind of idiot. ‘She’s the biggest hero in the history of CHERUB. Everyone dreams of getting revenge on Mr Large, but I never imagined any kid would really have the guts to do it.’
Kids piled in from all directions, until Lauren stood in an ocean of hugs and handshakes. A couple of stocky teenage boys hoisted Lauren off the ground, balanced her on their shoulders and took her on a victory parade around the dining-room. She had a mix of emotions on her face; happy, freaked out and afraid of getting her head smacked on a light fitting. As Lauren was galloped around the room, the kids at the dining tables were all pledging to help her dig.
‘Dig what?’ James asked.
‘We heard Lauren’s got to clean out the ditches at the back end of campus,’ Shakeel explained. ‘Everyone is putting on their wellies and going up there Saturday morning to help her out. We reckon with a hundred or more kids on the job, we’ll get the whole lot cleared out in a day.’
‘Cool,’ James said. ‘That’s really great of everyone.’
‘It’s what she deserves,’ Shakeel said. ‘I wish I’d belted Mr Large one. There’s a collection going around as well. Everyone’s putting money in and we’re gonna get her something from that shop in town that does trophies.’
Amy came up to James as Lauren was on her third circuit of the dining-room.
‘We had a whip round up on my floor,’ Amy said. ‘We got seventy quid. What’s Lauren’s favourite shop?’
‘She gets a lot of stuff from Gap Kids,’ James said. ‘Why?’
‘There’s already more than enough for the engraved tankard,’ Amy explained. ‘We were thinking of getting her some gift vouchers, or maybe a humongous teddy bear …’
26. SOCKS
‘You’re such a jammy little git,’ Kerry said. ‘You realise me and Kyle are stuck here on Thornton until this mission is finished?’
It was Friday night. They were in the boys’ bedroom and James was packing a hold-all for his flight to Miami in the morning.
‘That’s the wrong attitude,’ James said, grinning. ‘We’re all equally important members of a team. It’s just that my role is toasting on some beach in Florida, while you get to spend half-term here. If you’re lucky, someone might start a fire and you can watch one of the derelict houses burn out.’
‘You’re such a funny guy,’ Kerry sneered.
‘How many socks do you reckon?’ James asked.
‘At least one pair for each day.’
James looked in his underwear drawer and realised he only had two clean pairs. He started hunting around the floor and balling odd socks together.
‘Aren’t those dirty?’ Kerry asked.
‘A bit,’ James said. ‘But I’ve only worn most of them once. They don’t smell that bad.’ He put one of them under Kerry’s nose. ‘See.’
‘For god’s sake,’ Kerry said angrily, pushing James’ arm away. ‘They’re appalling.’
James gave them a sniff.
‘Phew,’ he gasped. ‘Those ones are a bit ripe. I think they’re what I wore to boxing club last night. But most of these are OK.’
Kerry shook her head. ‘You’re an animal, James.’
She slid off the bed and walked across the hallway to her own room. James’ mobile rang.
‘Hey, April,’ James said. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m at the airport with Erin and my mum,’ April said. ‘We’re sitting here waiting to board the plane and I thought I’d say hi.’
‘I only saw you a few hours ago,’ James said.
‘Don’t you want to talk to me?’ April said, with a hint of acid in her voice.
‘Of course I want to talk to you,’ James lied. ‘It’s just … I’m really busy, packing and stuff.’
‘I’m wearing your Nike watch,’ April giggled. ‘So I can think about you whenever I look at the time.’
‘Don’t forget to give that back,’ James said. ‘It’s my only good one.’
‘Blow me a kiss,’ April said.
James shook his head before doing a couple of quick smooches into his phone.
‘I think Zara’s calling me downstairs, April. I’ve got to hang up. Have a wonderful trip, bye.’
‘James. I—’
‘Gotta go, April, sorry.’
James ended the call and tutted. Kerry had walked back in behind him. She was holding four pairs of clean sports socks.
‘Girl trouble?’ she inquired.
‘Don’t ask,’ James said.
‘Borrow these,’ Kerry said. ‘My feet aren’t much smaller than yours. Just make sure you wash them before you give them back.’
‘Cheers,’ James said, tucking the socks into his hold-all. ‘You know, April’s driving me round the bend.’
‘Why?’ Kerry asked. ‘She seems like a really nice girl.’
‘She is,’ James said. ‘But she’s too intense. She phones me all the time. She follows me everywhere at school and starts putting her arm around me. If I’m talking to someone else, she pulls me away and whispers stuff in my ear.’
‘She’s got a crush on you,’ Kerry said. ‘You should be flattered.’
‘It’s more than a crush,’ James said. ‘I bet she’s already picked out the wedding dress, and now she’s working out the names of our kids.’
‘Typical man,’ Kerry said indignantly. ‘You like having a girl draped off your arm, but only so you can snog her and impress your stupid mates.’
‘Give over,’ James said. ‘It’s just, April is a lot keener on me than I am on her. It’s not my fault girls can’t resist me.’
‘In your dreams,’ Kerry grinned. ‘I suppose you’ll dump April and leave her in a state, like you did with Nicole.’
‘Nicole?’ James said, looking mystified. ‘I only kissed her once, for about two seconds.’
‘Nicole asked if you liked her,’ Kerry said. ‘So you snogged her, then you dumped her.’
‘I just didn’t snog her again,’ James said. ‘I don’t know why you’re turning it into some big deal.’
‘But you didn’t have the decency to face her. You just skulked around the house avoiding her for the next couple of days. Nicole was really upset.’
‘Well …’ James said. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘Look, Kerry, I don’t deliberately treat girls like that. To tell the truth, there’s someone else I really like.’
‘You mean Amy?’ Kerry said. ‘You can practically see the drool run out your mouth every time she comes near you, but get over it, she’s seventeen years old.’
‘That shows how much you know,’ James said tersely. ‘Every boy on campus fancies Amy, but it’s not her I’m talking about.’
‘Who is it then?’
‘None of your business.’
‘Huh,’ Kerry sneered. ‘You’re making it up so I don’t think you’re a pig.’
‘No,’ James said.
‘Do I know her?’ Kerry asked.
‘Yes.’
‘It’s not Gabrielle, is it?’
James laughed. ‘No.’
‘You’re such a plonker,’ Kerry said. ‘I don’t know why I’m even bothering to talk to you.’
James loved the way she reared up on the balls of her feet whenever she got ratty.
&nbs
p; ‘You really want to know who I like?’ James said.
‘I don’t care,’ Kerry said, folding her arms.
‘Fine, I won’t tell you then.’
But James had piqued Kerry’s curiosity and she quickly changed her tack. ‘Oh … go on then.’
James toyed with the idea of making someone up, or saying something stupid, but he realised he was never going to have a better opportunity to tell Kerry how he really felt. He couldn’t carry on bottling it for the rest of his life. He took a deep breath.
‘I …’
His mouth dried up. He felt like his head was about to explode.
Kerry shook her head. ‘I knew you were lying.’
‘No, I like you,’ James blurted.
He stared at Kerry for what felt like a trillion years, studying her face for some kind of reaction.
‘Are you winding me up?’ Kerry asked, suspiciously.
‘Ever since basic training,’ James rambled. ‘Even when we were covered in mud doing combat practice and you were battering me, there was something about you that I really liked. I mean … We’re always really good together, because you’re kind of stuffy and do everything by the book and I’m kind of … Well … I suppose you could say I’m an idiot at times.’
‘You really like me?’ Kerry grinned.
James felt like he wanted to die. ‘Yes.’
‘So you’re serious?’ Kerry asked. ‘Because if you’re messing with me, I’ll punch every single tooth out of your dumb head.’
‘I swear,’ James said. ‘So, you know … Am I wasting my time? … Or?’
Kerry smiled a bit. ‘Everyone we know has been going on about us having a thing for each other. I never thought you really liked me though. You’re always going on about tits and I’ve hardly got any.’
‘Yeah, well,’ James said. ‘I’m not perfect either. But you do like me?’
Kerry nodded. ‘When you’re not driving me insane, you’re just about my favourite boy on campus.’
James leaned forward to kiss her, but the hold-all was stuck in the middle of the tiny room and they had to shuffle around it. It was a only quick peck on the lips, but James got a massive rush.
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