by Sarah Swan
I shot up in bed, my sheets drenched in a pool of sweat. My heart was racing, and I was breathing hard. My eyes were open wide, but not seeing. It took a few moments for my breathing to calm, and for me to realize I was safely in my room. I stumbled out of bed and toward the bathroom, where I splashed cold water against my face.
I walked to my desk slowly. It was already light outside, and I doubted I could fall asleep after the dreams I’d had. Today, I realized belatedly, marked the start of opening days, the annual events that welcomed students back to Oliver Academy. Things would get started in the main yard around noon.
I sat down heavily in my chair. Everybody was expected to attend, which meant I would inevitably run into Liz or the others. I was unprepared. I wanted to talk to them on my own terms, only after I’d figured things out.
Yet, how could I figure anything out if I deliberately prevented myself from thinking about it? I sighed. I was unprepared to face the crystals, and all their implications. But I had to do it sooner or later.
I thought back to how it all came about. It was because of my curiosity about what happened in that room at the party, obviously. I knew now what that was, of course. Liz had used one of the crystals, and was suffering after-sickness when I found her. Why she was using it was another question. Her use of it had drawn me to the room, almost as if… as if the crystal was calling to me.
That was also frightening. It echoed uncomfortably what Ashley had said. She had insisted that I was drawn to come to Oliver Academy, and Traven Island, because of the crystals. That couldn’t possibly be true, yet… why did I feel so uneasy when I thought about it? It was almost as if, deep down, I knew there was a grain of truth. And admittedly, in the face of everything else I’d been shown, perhaps the idea wasn’t as preposterous as it appeared at first glance.
You can’t run from who you are, Tracy. Another thing Ashley had said. That prophetic sentence weighed heavily on my mind. None of it made any sense. It was as if I had walked into one of those fantasy stories when I came to the island. Except this was real life. I was scared. And there was nobody to turn to – nobody I could talk about all this with. Kyla, or even my parents, would have been an obvious first choice, if it wasn’t for that oath Liz had made me swear. The mere thought of telling somebody other than Ashley, Liz, Eve, or Madison about the crystals left me queasy. Something about the oath made it very real.
My thoughts turned back to the crystals. What were they, exactly, and how did they work? What was so special about them, or about me – or any of the other girls – that activated their power? What did Liz call it again? Reading their aura? It was something I did without realizing, apparently. The scariest thing was how natural it felt. When I held the crystal in my hand, and experienced that burning sensation, even though it frightened me, it felt… right. As if I were made for it.
I found myself longing to touch the crystal again, to feel the surge of energy and power flowing through my body. This time, I wouldn’t succumb to the after-sickness. This time, I would control what the crystal did, and become one with its power. This time—
A bout of vertigo hit me, and I felt sick. I clutched at my roiling stomach. The movement left me lightheaded, and even though I was sitting down, I felt disoriented. A mental image of the crystal flashed out of nowhere. It blocked out everything else. It was the most perfect representation I could believe. I could see the sharp edges, the translucent side planes. The dull blue hue vibrated within, calling out for me to touch it. Slowly, tentatively, I reached for it in my mind’s eye… and it evaporated into mist! I felt a sudden pang of loss, followed by a harsh, sharp pain at my side.
Before I knew it I was on the floor, gasping and doubled over. The entire world seemed to swirl before me. The walls of my room blended together with the floor, until I could no longer tell which way was up or down. The light streaming from the window seemed too harsh. It flared menacingly, enveloping the whole room. I shut my eyes, pressing my face into my elbow to block out the light, but it only intensified. It was pulsing, much like the crystals pulsed, all around me. My only defense was the crystal in my mind’s eye. But, it had disappeared, and, with it, any hope of saving myself. I cried out in anguish. Suddenly everything… went away.
I opened my eyes warily. My head was still spinning, but this time the vertigo felt like I’d had too much to drink. The light shining through the window was a simple ray of morning sun, no more intense or malicious than usual. The walls of my room were steady, as was the ceiling and floor. Everything was as it is supposed to be. Nothing moved anymore.
I rose slowly. This was not the first incident I’d experienced since coming here. Each was getting worse since I had learned of the crystals. I couldn’t tell if the crystals were the direct cause of it, or if it was due to my earlier concussion. Maybe it was some uncanny combination of the two.
I thought about showering and getting dressed, and then heading out for opening days. Thought about it, but decided against it. A weariness was creeping into my body. It wasn’t a fatigue from overtiredness. It was more like… more like a drawn out feeling. Like too little butter spread over toasted bread. I climbed back under the covers, positioning myself so I was on the dry part of the bed. It was strange, the way I felt at the moment. My shoulders felt weighed down, and an external pressure pressed down on the rest of my body. I felt my forehead with the back of my hand. Was it warm? Maybe more so than usual. Perhaps I was coming down with something? The flu or some other type of bug, unrelated to the crystals?
I curled up under the covers. The room felt a little cold, despite the clear sun shining outside. Bundling the blanket around me, I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.
But sleep wouldn’t come. My mind was racing, replaying the events of the past week. Meeting Rob at the party; finding Liz there; going out with Chris; having him show me the crysta— wait. Chris was the first to show me the crystals, wasn’t he? How could I have been so thick? Chris had shown me the crystals, the time he took me down to the cave! I just hadn’t realized it until now, hadn’t put two and two together because my memories of that day were mostly of afterwards, of when he saved me and we kissed.
Why had he brought me down there? Was there an off chance – some possibility – that he also knew of my, err, ability? I still didn’t know exactly what to call it and neither did I know quite what I could do with it. Could he have known about it somehow? I thought about that for a second. Then decided it was just my imagination getting the best of me. There was no way Chris would have known. Liz had a suspicion of my ability only because I had found her at the party. That suspicion was only confirmed once I’d described how I felt holding the crystal. Ashley had some way of sensing who could use the crystals, but she was the only one. Furthermore, one of the other girls – I didn’t remember who, exactly – told me that only women could make use of the power. There was no way Chris would have known about it, or even suspected anything, since not only was he not at the party, but he was also incapable of using the crystals.
Yet somehow, Chris had stumbled upon the cave. I knew I had to go there. Now that I knew what I could do, I had to find out if the underground crystals were the same type as the ones Liz and the others had used. I remembered, very vaguely, something unusual happening down there.
What was it, exactly? There was that luster in the air, the shimmering glow created by the crystals as the light from the roof bounced off them. That was normal—natural. It wasn’t anything like the blue fluorescent light emitted by a powered crystal. I knew that because Chris had seen the glimmer too, and commented on it. No, it was something else…
I shot up in bed when I remembered. It wasn’t something I had noticed. It was something I had missed. And it was only thanks to Chris that I was aware of it. Somehow, down there, he told me that I was staring at the crystals for nearly an hour, without realizing the passage of time. I couldn’t remember the incident for the life of me, but I had seen the evidence: the light had started to fad
e with the sun going down. There was also that nearly imperceptible pull I felt from the crystals, beckoning me toward them.
That made up my mind. I had to go there, right now. I had to find out what those crystals were. I forced myself out of bed… and nearly fell flat on my face. My body protested the decision by causing my knees to turn to jelly. The tiredness seeped back over me. Maybe I could go some other time…
No. I couldn’t waste another day hiding from what was out there. It was time to face my demons, no matter what form they took. The sooner I started dealing with all this, the sooner my problems would get resolved.
I threw the cover back. The sudden cold energized me slightly, and my groggy body responded more favorably this time. I walked across the floor with leaden feet, but managed to get into the shower without falling over. Ten minutes later, I was out, feeling a bit better about my prospects for the day. I got dressed, and was just putting on my shoes when there was a knock on the door.
I froze, reverting to my natural reaction over the last few days. What if it was Chris again? Was I ready to talk to him yet? Or did I want to—
No. I remembered my resolution. I had to face my problems head-on, not stick my head under the sand and hope they went away. I walked over to the door, doing my best to appear carefree, and swung it open.
Except that outside wasn’t Chris. It was Liz. She was tapping her foot impatiently, her arms crossed under her chest.
“Liz?” I exclaimed, thrown off-guard. “What are you doing here?”
“Checking up on you, what does it look like? So, are you going to let me in?”
I eased the door open to allow her to come inside. “Sure, but I don’t see—”
“Why I’m here?” Liz said, finishing my sentence.
“Yeah.”
“I mean, despite what you think, we’re still friends,” she said in a lecturing tone. “At least, that’s how I aim to treat you until you physically force me away.” She had a stubborn look on her face. I had to admit, the tough exterior was a little endearing. “Look, the way everything played out back there, I felt that it was best to give you a couple days to yourself. But when I hadn’t heard from you, I grew worried.”
“Worried? Why?”
“Well, nobody seems to have seen you around campus lately. From what I hear, all you’ve been doing is running straight from class back to your room. Have you had enough to eat?”
“Yes, thank you, mom.”
“But that’s not like you ,Tracy, is it?” Liz continued, ignoring my jab. “That’s not what you were like when I met you. You were excited to be here, to explore a new environment, to meet as many people as you could. Right? But, then, something changed. This past week, you started feeling withdrawn, didn’t you? Like you were all alone and without anybody around for support.”
“Maybe,” I said warily. How did she know that?
“Not maybe, but exactly. And you definitely weren’t like that when we met.”
“No,” I admitted reluctantly. Although back then I didn’t have all these problems hanging over my head.
“So what’s different?”
“What do you mean?”
“What has changed?”
“You’re talking about the crystals, aren’t you?”
Liz looked at me as if I were a preschooler. “Duh! You unlocked the potential of your mind with them, and it took a lot out of you. At the same time, as soon as your brain got a taste of how much greater it can be with the crystals, your subconscious has started to lust for it.”
“That’s not true,” I defended weakly. But I knew it was. The way my thoughts kept coming back to the crystals solidified it.
“It’s a wonder you held out this long. Usually – well, admittedly we haven’t had much experience – but usually, nobody can sit still for even a day after learning of the crystals. It dominates their mind, and they get addicted to what the crystals can do. We have to expose them to it in small intervals, or else they risk becoming obsessive.”
“But I already told you, I don’t want anything to do with them,” I protested. Unfortunately, I could feel the frailty of my words, and I knew Liz picked up on it too.
“Still? Are you telling me your thoughts aren’t constantly fixated on the crystals? That you don’t find yourself drifting off and thinking about them? That you aren’t the least bit curious about their real power?”
“I…”
She held her hands up. “Look, I won’t break my promise to you. What I said before still stands. It is, ultimately, your decision. I’m not here to pressure you by any means.”
“Then why are you here?” I asked.
“Like I said, I wanted to see how you were holding up. I couldn’t imagine it being comfortable, what you’re going through, and not having anyone to talk to…”
“It’s not,” I mumbled sourly.
“Well, it doesn’t have to be like that, Tracy. I’m here for you, as are all the other girls in the crystal seekers.”
“I know,” I admitted. “It’s just…”
“Overwhelming? I know how it can be. Imagine how I felt when I first came across them? I didn’t know if there was anybody else with the sensitivity.”
“How did you manage?”
“I just kept exploring. And I didn’t block anything out. When my thoughts started going back to the crystals in those first few weeks, I thought I was going insane. I would get random chills, and other strange sensitivities. I started feeling tired, even—”
“Drawn out?”
“Yes,” Liz smiled. “Exactly. You see, you’re not the only one to have gone through this, Tracy. It doesn’t have to be this hard.”
“But weren’t you… frightened? The least bit? It seems like the crystals can give access to power we weren’t meant to have.”
“Unfathomable power,” Liz repeated softly, and I saw a lusty shine appear in her eyes. She blinked, and it was gone. “Of course I was frightened, Tracy, as anybody should be. But remember, I’ve had nearly two years of working with them, and I’m still all right. It’s not… harmful… to use them, if you do it right.”
“What about the after-sickness?”
“It passes,” Liz said simply. “A minor irritation, at worst.” She must have recognized the look on my face, because after a pause, she added, “It’s never as bad as the first time. Your very first exposure to it takes a lot out of you. Your mind isn’t used to it, and neither is your body. Once you know what to expect, you barely even feel the after-sickness.”
“What about how I found you at the party?” I asked pointedly.
“Oh. That. That was… an unusual circumstance. You won’t have to worry about anything like that, yourself.”
“What did you do?”
Liz smiled. “I promised not to press you, remember? I was kind of hoping it’d go both ways. You have your secrets, Tracy, and I have mine.”
“Fine. But let’s just say, hypothetically, that I do want to find out more…”
“Hypothetically,” Liz repeated.
“Yes. If I do want to know more, how would I… I mean, what would we—”
“Do? Well, first of all, I’d tell the other girls about it. I know they would be thrilled. Next, we’d go back out to the forest, where we could teach you some of the things we’ve picked up about using the crystals, about their nature… that type of stuff.”
“And you would… give me a crystal? To try it out with?” I could barely conceal my yearning for it. It scared me, just how strongly I felt the desire to use the crystal again, while knowing full well of the potential consequences. It didn’t matter. Just the thought of having another chance to try the crystal left me energized and invigorated.
“Of course,” Liz said knowingly. “In fact, I have yours right here with me, if you want…?” She reached into her pocket, and pulled out that familiar silver cloth, bundled neatly. On seeing it, I felt an overwhelming urge to leap toward her and snatch it out of her hands. It took a considera
ble effort to suppress that desire. I clenched my fists, and stuck both hands behind my back so Liz wouldn’t see the strain on my forearms.
“You brought it here?” I asked in a tight voice. Involuntarily, I took a step toward her.
Liz started to pull apart the cloth to reveal the contents, but then paused mid-motion. “You know, maybe it’s better to give it to you later. When everybody else is around.”
“—why?” I said in a strangled voice.
“Safety. You need to learn a thing or two before you’re safe with the crystal on your own.” Then why did you tease me with it just now? I felt an irrational anger rising within. “I’ll give it to you when we meet with the others.”
“When? Right now?”
“Opening days, remember? They take attendance and everything.”
“Oh,” I said, deflated.
“We can meet after, if you’re up for it.”
“Yes! Out in the forest, by the lake again?”
“That’s right.”
“Why there? Why can’t we do it here, in one of our rooms, or…?”
“Privacy, among other things. Nobody will interrupt us out in the woods. Besides, out there has kind of become our meeting ground over the years.”
“Alright.” I thought for a second. “Are you going to opening days now?”
Liz laughed, and threw her arms around me for a hug. “Of course you can come with me. Come on, everybody will be glad to see you again.”
Chapter Twenty-One – A Visible Aura
Liz and I hurried toward the main yard. A great mass of people was already gathered in the square around the fountain. Everybody in one space, all at once, made me realize just how many students there were here. The crowd stretched out in all directions. There must have been two, three thousand kids in all.
As we got closer, I saw that a waist-high barricade had been put all around. Only a few gates provided entrance. Most of the kids were already inside, but some of the late arrivals, like us, were still lining up in front of the attendants at the gate. There, I saw that they were showing their student cards and getting them scanned into small hand-held devices that looked like checkout counter scanners.