Mine to Keep

by Cynthia Eden

  “Let him try.”

  The wildness was there again. In the slightly cruel curve of his lip. In his eyes as he glanced over at her.

  Trace was balanced on a razor’s edge—he’d been that way for weeks, and Skye couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when he fell over the edge.

  Her hand lifted and curved around his. His fingers were clenched tightly along the wheel. “You saved me, Trace.”

  His eyelids flickered.

  “You got me out of that basement. I’m alive. You’re alive.”

  A car horn honked behind them.

  Swearing, Trace accelerated.

  She didn’t let him go.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” she told him. She wanted to soothe him, to just hold him.

  But Trace gave a hard shake of his head. “You don’t know…” His words faded into silence.

  “What? What is it that I don’t know?”

  “You have your nightmares. I have mine.”

  “What happens in your nightmares?”

  He was staring straight ahead, at the dark road. “I don’t get to you in time.”

  Her heart seemed to stop.

  “And without you, I go fucking insane.”

  ***

  Every man had a strength.

  And every man had a weakness.

  When it came to Trace Weston, the man’s greatest weakness was Skye Sullivan.

  From the shadows, he watched as the reporter stomped away. The guy was clutching his camera. Muttering about lawsuits.

  Interesting.

  He crept up behind the man. He’d overhead their conversation easily enough. Trace had been so focused on Clyde Jones that he’d never looked around for another threat.

  His mistake.

  No, his weakness. The woman seemed to consume Weston, and when a man fell that hard—

  It was the perfect moment to strike.

  He pulled out his weapon, and his fingers curled around the handle of his knife.

  It would be so easy to take out Clyde Jones. A fast swipe of his knife. The guy was a leech. A vulture who made his living by feeding off the pain of others.

  If he killed Jones, then he’d probably be doing the world a favor.

  But he’s not my target.

  Jones swore and headed toward the busy intersection. “Taxi!” Jones shouted.

  He put up his knife. He’d learned to control his impulses long ago. Jones could keep breathing.

  But Weston? Soon enough, he’d be dying.

  Chapter Five

  He grabbed her, his fingers closing tight around her arm. Trace yanked Skye against him, and her eyes flew open. She couldn’t see anything, it was too dark, but she knew his touch.

  “Trace?” She whispered.

  “Can’t let go…” His fingers bit into her as he muttered those words.

  Skye tried to shift toward him. They were in bed. It was the middle of the night and—

  “Didn’t want to…kill…”

  His rasped words stole her breath.

  “So…fucking sorry…have to do it…”

  And his hands lifted—to her throat.

  “Trace!” She screamed his name as real fear pulsed through her.

  He stilled.

  The only sound then was their breathing—both ragged. Panting.

  “Skye?” Confusion thickened his voice.

  His hands pulled away from her. He pulled away. Trace rolled to the side of the bed and flipped on the lamp. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Trace demanded as his gaze swept over her. “Did you have another nightmare?”

  She hadn’t moved. She couldn’t. His hands had been going for her throat as if—as if he would kill her.

  Trace would never do that.

  She licked her lips. Every single bit of moisture in her mouth seemed to have vanished. “You were the one having the bad dream.”

  Shadows were all around them. The lamp spilled a small pool of light onto the bed. Everything else—darkness.

  “I was?” He raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t remember it. I’m…sorry if I woke you.”

  Those words jerked Skye out of her stupor. She sat up, letting the sheet fall away. “I’ve woken you up nearly every night for the last month. Don’t talk to me about sorry.”

  He stared at her.

  “Something scared you. You said…you said you didn’t want to kill, but you had to do it.” Her stomach was in knots. “It’s because of me. You killed to save me, and now the memory is there, tearing you apart—”

  His laughter stopped her. Cold. Bitter laughter. “That particular memory has nothing to do with you.” He leaned toward her, caging her with his body. “You think I regret what I did to Mitch Loxley?”

  She tried to search his gaze. There wasn’t enough light.

  “Not for an instant. I’m glad he’s dead. I just wish I’d made him suffer more before I sent him to hell.”

  She believed him. “Then what gives you nightmares?” Her question was a hoarse whisper.

  He didn’t speak.

  “One secret.” Skye grabbed his shoulders, desperate. “That’s what we can start with. That’s what I want from you, Trace. That’s what I think I deserve.” No, Skye actually thought that she deserved all of his secrets. And she’d get them. Sooner or later.

  His hand came up to her throat. His fingers lightly caressed the flesh. This touch was so different from the one that had come before. “You were choking me,” she said.

  He flinched.

  “No, no, you weren’t.” She’d screwed that up. In his dream, his memory, he’d been attacking someone else. “You went to touch my neck…you said you had to kill, and I called your name.”

  He turned away from her. Sat on the edge of the bed with his head hanging down. “I’m sorry. Scaring you is the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

  She leaned toward him and pressed a kiss to his broad back. He was so tense beneath her lips. So warm and hard and strong. “One secret at a time.” Would that be so hard? They had to start somewhere. “I’ve told you about my nightmares. Tell me yours. Let me help you.”

  She needed to help him. Couldn’t he see that?

  His head lifted. He stared straight into the darkness. She didn’t think he was going to speak at all, but then he finally said, “It was right after I left the military. I’d gone…independent with some friends. One of my teammates—the person wasn’t who we all thought. A traitor. Leading us straight to hell. I had one chance to stop things. Kill or be killed.” His voice was wooden.

  “You killed.”

  “It turned out I was good at killing. Maybe too good.”

  She rose onto her knees and wrapped her arms around him, pulling his back against her breasts.

  Trace’s attention seemed to shift as he stared down at his hands. He’d taken off the bandages she’d applied so carefully before.

  “I’d killed before, but that was in the line of duty. When I was following orders. This time, it was different. It was my friend. And I let my emotions get in the way.” He drew in a ragged breath. “I have a lot of memories that won’t let go of me. I went Black Ops six months after my enlistment. I did things…” His muscles were rock hard against her. “I wish I could forget them.”

  Because the memories haunted him. “You don’t have to carry this alone.” She pressed a kiss to his neck, just below his ear. “I’m here, Trace. I want to help you.” She wanted in.

  “You helped me back then.”

  She frowned, but knew he couldn’t see her face.

  “Every time I hunted, every time I killed, every time I thought I’d never taste anything but blood and death and the sand that got between my teeth or the snow that froze my bones…I’d see you.”

  Her arms tightened around him.

  “I’d imagine you dancing, up on stage, with all the lights around you. I’d see you, and the hell around me would vanish for a few seconds. You were my dream, when I was in a nightmare.”

&nbs
p; Her lips feathered over his throat.

  “I don’t have nightmares about that time…at least, I haven’t,” he said, sounding angry now. “Not in years.”

  “But then Ben Sharpe came back.”

  He nodded. “Ben worked with me in Black Ops. I saved his ass a few times—that tends to make a man loyal.”

  But demons had started to chase Ben, even then.

  “After I got out of the military, I brought Ben onto the independent team with me because I wanted to help him. He’d come to me, desperate, but working with me just made things worse.”

  Because of the traitor?

  “Ben brought them back,” Trace said. “But I’ll forget them again. I’ll shove the memories into the back of my head and lock the damn vault shut on them.”

  He hadn’t looked at her while he’d spoken. Maybe it was easier for him not to see her when he saw the past.

  “Thank you,” Skye whispered.

  “For what? Scaring you? That’s not what I—”

  “For giving me the first secret.” A glimpse into his hell.

  He turned then, caught her, and rolled so that Skye was beneath him in bed.

  “Thank you,” he told her, voice gruff.

  “For what?”

  “Without you, I would’ve been as lost as Ben.”

  “No, you—”

  He kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all of her passion, all of her love. She wanted to show Trace that she was with him, through good and bad, and everything in the middle.

  His tongue slid over her lips. His hands trailed over her body. He knew where to touch her. Where to stroke and caress so that she arched eagerly toward him. Wanting all that he had to give her.

  But he didn’t thrust into her.

  Not even when she begged.

  Instead, he put his mouth between her legs. He licked her. He tasted her. He drove her into a frenzy.

  She came against his mouth. With her hands in the thickness of his hair. With her hips arching toward him.

  Skye came that way, and she wanted more.

  But Trace was the one in control. That fierce control that she wanted to smash into a million pieces.

  He brought her to the brink of another release. Tears leaked down her cheeks. She cried out for him. Wanted more. “Trace, now, I need—”

  He rolled away from her. Stood. His erect cock thrust out toward her, and Skye wanted it buried in her core.

  She reached for him.

  He backed away.

  “T-Trace?”

  His eyes squeezed closed. “Have you ever wanted something so much…so badly…but you were afraid you’d destroy that one thing if you actually took it?”

  Her thighs quivered. Soft contractions still pulsed in her sex. “You won’t destroy me.”

  His smile came then. Sad and cruel. “Oh, baby, you shouldn’t be so sure. Tonight, I’m weak, and you don’t want me without my control.”

  This was the moment that mattered.

  Skye slid from the bed. Her knees sank onto the lush carpet. “I want you every way.” Why couldn’t he understand that?

  She opened her mouth and tasted him. It was her turn to lick, to stroke, to enjoy the hot and hard length of his cock in—

  He jerked her up. Spun her around. Pushed her onto the bed and lifted up her hips. Her stomach hit the mattress even as her hands fisted in the sheets. She heaved up and tried to glance over her shoulder at him.

  Trace sank into her. A deep, hard thrust. There was no holding back then, he drove into her in a plunge that took her breath.

  His hands were tight bands around her hips. He withdrew, thrust. Again and again. Each thrust was harder than the last.

  She tried to arch back against him, but he was moving too fast, too fiercely.

  The rhythm was wild and rough. Not like the controlled lovemaking that he’d shown her in the last few weeks. He was plunging so deeply—rubbing inside of her. She was slick and swollen from her release.

  “Give to me,” he gritted out. “Want…everything…”

  Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.

  “Mine…” His left hand freed her hip. Slid around her body. Closed around her breast. Stroked the nipple. Palmed her breast. “Every inch.”

  In and out…in and out…

  His right hand moved then. Went around her hip and his fingers found her clit. He wasn’t gentle. Rough, demanding—

  And she exploded, bucking against him as the release slammed into her.

  “Fuck, yes.”

  His mouth was on her shoulder. She felt the faint sting of his teeth.

  And the hot surge of his release as he came inside of her.

  He was around her, surrounding her, and she couldn’t stop the waves of pleasure. They came and came. Hollowing her out and leaving Skye limp.

  She sagged beneath him.

  Trace without his control…

  “I warned you.” His voice was different. Stilted.

  She found the strength to turn her head a few inches and look back at him. His face appeared leaner, harder.

  “Next time…” Skye heard herself say, “fuck me harder.”

  His body tensed. “Skye.” And he started to fuck her again.

  He wasn’t treating her like a delicate doll or like a victim—and she wanted every single thing he had to give her.

  A moan slipped from her.

  Fuck me harder.

  She was lost.

  ***

  Trace stared down at Skye while she slept. The covers pooled around her, and Skye’s hand was out, reaching toward his pillow.

  As if she were reaching for him in her sleep.

  After last night, she still wants me?

  Talk about a miracle.

  He’d given her a taste of the darkness that lived inside of him last night. She hadn’t been afraid. Despite everything, Skye hadn’t hesitated.

  She’d given him pleasure. Demanded her own.

  Fuck me harder.

  His cock twitched just thinking about those words.

  Was it any wonder that other women had left him cold? They’d never been enough for him, because they weren’t Skye.

  His fingers lifted and brushed lightly over her cheek. He wanted to let her sleep, but if he did, Trace knew Skye would be pissed.

  She wanted to go to her studio. She wanted to start seeing her students.

  And he wanted her happy.

  He bent and brushed his lips over hers. “Wake up, baby.”

  Her eyes blinked open. For an instant, she seemed lost, then Skye focused her gaze on him. A soft smile curved her lips.

  She was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

  And he had to leave her.

  He kissed her again. “I have to go in to the office today. Reese will to take you to the studio.”

  Her brow furrowed. “More guard duty? But I thought—”

  “Humor me, just a little longer.” Until he could get a better grasp on just what was happening in this town. Sharpe had spoken of a ghost and of the dead coming back. Trace had tried to tell him that the past was dead and buried but…

  Was that past coming back?

  She’ll destroy you.

  The hell she would.

  “Tonight…” His fingers brushed down her arm. “I’m supposed to attend a charity auction and ball. It’s something I agreed to attend months ago.” Before Skye had walked back into his life. “I don’t want to ditch because the money’s going to the Children’s Home and—”

  “You have to attend,” Skye said immediately.

  He nodded. They’d both been through the foster system. Cast out. They knew what it was like to need a stable home.

  “Do you want to go with me?” And, yes, he was actually holding his breath as he waited for Skye’s reply. But he knew that she hadn’t been to a big public event, not since before her car crash in New York. There would be plenty of reporters waiting outside of the hotel because so many of the
city’s elite would be attending, and Skye might not want to walk right into that feeding frenzy but—

  “Of course, Trace, you know I’d go anywhere with you.”

  His heart ached at her words.

  She pushed up, leaning toward him. “I’ll always go where—”

  Skye broke off when he caught her arms. Carefully, very carefully, he lowered