by Alla Kar
Damn. Now I get why he has been so quiet. I examine the paper. It’s a Cook Off at the YMCA. The winner gets a chance to work at some new restaurant they’re opening in town. This is…ridiculous. I’m not that great of a cook, so why waste my time? And plus, I have no intention of moving back to Florida and even if I did, I don’t know if I’d want to work in a restaurant.
I toss the flier back onto the table and glance over at Lucas. He rolls his eyes and interlocks his fingers behind his head. “Just give it a shot, bro. The worse that could happen is you don’t win. You won’t lose anything.”
I click my tongue against my cheek and crack my neck. “Look, I’m zonked. I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises.” I stand and grab my bag. “Where am I sleeping? I think I want to take a small nap.”
Lucas sighs and gestures for me to follow him. His apartment is large and I’m glad to see that he has two bedrooms. We get to the hallway where picture frames are lined across the wall. I turn left and see her. It takes me a few seconds to breathe right again.
Nausea rises up my throat. I drop my bag, lean against the wall with one hand and cough into the other. I haven’t seen even a picture of her since high school. But I think about her constantly. Her large green eyes are sparkling behind a pair of thick-rimmed black glasses. Damn, they look good on her. This isn’t a newer picture. It’s at least a few years old, maybe eleventh grade.
“I’m sorry, bro. I forgot to take it down.”
My throat constricts. I feel like a damn pussy, falling all over myself because of a picture.
“I haven’t seen her since graduation,” Lucas says. “She hasn’t answered my calls in two years. I finally stopped trying to contact her. She is going to Jacksonville University, down the street.”
She stayed here? Why? Her dream was always to go to California and draw. Why didn’t she live her dream? Clearing my throat, I straighten and grab my bag. “No problem, mate. Can you show me to the loo?”
Lucas knows…I can see the concern in his eyes. He is the only one that knows the torment I went through with her. The tears I cried like a damned woman. He never judged, only patted my back and listened to me vent. It was horrible. God, I fucking miss the girl so much. Shaking my head, I follow Lucas to a back bedroom.
“You have your own bathroom over here. There is a small balcony through those doors, and you know where the kitchen is. Make yourself at home. Take a nap and then I’ll wake you later.”
I don’t sit down until I hear the door click. Gripping my hair, I tug, hard. She is here, in this city. So close to me. But so far. What would she say if she saw me? Would she let me hug her? Touch her alabaster skin, or that round, tight ass?
I huff. Fucking doubtful. She hates me. Not that I blame her, but it wasn’t my fault. It was both of ours. We did this to ourselves, wound up in each other so tight that it hurt so much worse when it ended.
My head hurts from the thoughts, so I lie back on the bed. I turn off the memories and drift to sleep.
***
“He is cute.”
I hear a grumble, then a small giggle. “Hey, watch out, or I’ll bend you over this bed.”
What. The. Bloody Hell? I open one eye and glance up at Lucas and a girl I assume is his fiancé. She is smiling down at me, hand outstretched. “I’m Savannah,” she says.
Rubbing my fist into my eyes, I sit up. She is really cute, not that I didn’t expect her to be. Lucas is pretty shallow. But she seems nice enough. “I’m Lachlan, nice to meet you, luv.”
She giggles, making Lucas roll his eyes. “Hey, I can call you luv, too, sweetheart.”
Savannah laughs and brushes her chest against Lucas. Now I see what drew him in. She has the biggest tits I’ve seen in a while, that are real, at least. Lucas has always been a tit guy; I’m more of an ass man myself.
“So, what do we have going on?” I sling my feet over the bed and blink a few times.
“Savannah says she wants us to go out and have a night to ourselves. She is going to have some girlfriends over. Sound good?”
“Too right,” I say, standing.
Savannah furrows her brows, and I know she has no idea what that means. She wraps her arms around Lucas’s neck and brings him down to her level. “You guys behave tonight. Keep him in line for me, Lachlan.”
I give her a salute. She waves and disappears into the hallway.
“So, what do you think about her? Keeper?”
Shaking my fingers through my hair, I step into another pair of shoes. “I think she is adorable, and if you love her that is all I need.”
Lucas looks relieved. I never really understood why he worries about my opinion so much. “Good, now get ready. We’re leaving in ten.”
***
Music blares across the parking lot, causing the car’s windows to shake. It feels like home. Bars, clubs, anything with dancing, beer, and food has been my home for the last few years. The smell of nachos makes my mouth water. We don’t have nacho cheese in Australia. It kind of sucks; they don’t know what they’re missing.
Lucas leads me toward a tall bar table in the corner of the club. He scoots in and flags a waitress down easily. “What can I get you guys?” Her eyes rake over Lucas, obviously checking him out.
He waves her off. “Two Buds, Jen. Thanks.”
I lift an eyebrow. Lucas tucks his head, like a turtle ducking back inside its shell. “What?”
“Where has my best friend gone? That girl was checking you out, mate.”
Lucas jabs his thumb toward Jen. “Nah, bro. Not interested.”
I smile to myself. It’s nice to hear that my friend has finally grown up. About damn time. He was the player of all players in high school. Jen sets our drinks down a few minutes later, and I order some nachos.
“So,” Lucas says, chugging his drink. “You found anyone special down under?”
I down half my beer and wipe my mouth. No, I haven’t. The truth is that I haven’t even looked at another girl since senior year. Sure, I’ve fucked plenty of them. But fucking and actually finding someone special are two completely different things. I shrug. “Just the normal one-nighters, no one special.”
Lucas frowns, but tries to hide it with his drink. “Well, if you’re feeling froggy tonight, there is a girl to your left that has been checking you out since we walked in the door.”
Lifting an eyebrow, I glance over my shoulder. A blond—long legs, tight Band-Aid dress—is staring at me from the bar. She blushes, then turns toward her friend. “Well, hot fucking damn,” I say, taking a sip. “I’ll be right back.”
Lucas chuckles as I get up. I can feel the beer start to tingle through me. It doesn’t take much. That’s how I like it. The blond is leaning against the bar when I get to her. She isn’t as attractive up close, but she’s pretty cute. Her hair isn’t as long as I like and her skirt is way too short.
“Hi, luv. Having a great night?”
Her bleached brows pull down in the middle, but she giggles regardless. “You’re foreign.” She giggles again, running her hand against my chest. Her eyes widen. I work out…a lot. It’s the only pleasure I get besides drinking myself to sleep and sometimes we all need a break from Jack Daniels.
“Australian, doll. What’s your name? And better yet, why are you all alone?”
Flipping her blond hair, she pokes out her chest. That’s fucking right, she has some nice tits. “Amanda,” she purrs. “What’s yours?”
I shake my head. I don’t want to tell her. Not that it matters or she’ll remember tomorrow, but I don’t like to tell them. “Does it matter? Let’s go dance.”
She shrugs, gives her purse to her friend, and follows me out to the dance floor. We maneuver through the bodies until we get to the center of room. She automatically presses her tight ass against my dick. Fuck…it’s been a week since I’ve had sex and it feels like three. I grab her waist, grinding her against me. She isn’t that great of a dancer, but who gives a fuck, right? She slings he
r head back and forth as she continues to dance on me. My dick protests, wondering why I haven’t pressed her against the bathroom wall and fucked her yet. The beer is starting to creep up on me, making me sway along with the music better.
She doesn’t complain when I reach my hands up her dress and cup her. She’s warm and wet beneath her knickers. She moans when I touch the fabric. “Why doesn’t your pretty ass follow me? I’m sure I can make you feel better, baby.”
A loud moan leaves her lips and she is nodding like a bobblehead before I can finish my sentence. I tug on her waist, pressing her body against mine. She feels…almost right. Almost like I remember her feeling like. Then she reaches up and pulls at my jaw, trying to force my mouth down on hers. It’s sloppy, unattractive, and needy. I maneuver my mouth away from her, and she whines.
Great.
Lucas isn’t sitting at our table anymore, but I don’t care. I need this release, I need to feel…something. Half-carrying her drunk ass, I open the men’s bathroom door and lock it behind me. She is pulling off her dress as soon as I turn around.
Her matching black knickers are tight to her, her large breasts spilling over her bra. Biting my lip, I grip her waist and lift her up onto the wall. She lets out a yelp and giggles loudly in my ear.
I don’t even care that she is wasted, or that she smells like alcohol and too much perfume. I’m going to bury myself inside of her until she screams. With her help, we get her underwear off. She reaches for my jaw, forcing me to kiss her. I pull back and nuzzle my head into her neck. I don’t kiss. Not on the mouth, at least. It leads to emotions that I don’t want or need from a girl. Would it feel nice? Maybe. I don’t care. I haven’t kissed anyone since senior year, when I kissed all over her dainty body. Her soft, pink lips. Her eyes, nose, chin, stomach, anything she would let me.
No—I won’t think about it. Not now. I position myself while I pull a condom from my back pocket. A few seconds later, I slide inside of her. She throws her head back, slamming it against the wooden bathroom door. “Fuck,” she yells.
Gripping her waist, I slam into her again, not caring that she is being loud. Not caring that she is enjoying this way more than I am. I just need this release. Her martini breath is close and hot on my face. I can sense her wanting me to kiss her, but I bite her neck instead.
“Ah,” she groans, pushing down on my dick. Grabbing her ass, I continue to pump inside of her, ignoring her unattractive moans in my ear. I’m never as happy as when I come. She is shaking around me, grabbing at my skin like she doesn’t want me to let go. “More,” she slurs. “Me want more.”
Suddenly aggravated, I drop her until she is standing in front of me. Her face is flushed and her titties hang over her bra. “That was enough,” I snap. I know I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at myself. But this is the only way to get her to leave.
She pouts, grabs her clothes, and walks out of the bathroom in her knickers. Standing in front of the sink, I lean over, splashing water in my face. Feeling like an ass has become who I am now. I can hardly find the guilt that I’ve pushed so far into the back of my mind.
I walk into the bar and find Lucas at the counter. He lifts an eyebrow. “Having fun, bro?”
I shrug, slap a ten down, and gesture for the bartender to keep them coming. “I feel better.” Which we both know is a damned lie. I don’t feel better, I feel better for right now. Only because there is alcohol coursing through my body and I just busted a nut.
“After this round we need to head to the apartment. We have a wedding rehearsal to go to Sunday. And we know it takes you damn near two days to recover from this.”
I nod. I seriously need a fag. I would do anything to light up a cigarette and inhale. “Sure.”
“Was she as good as she looked?”
Damn, my mate knows me well. “I’ve had better.”
Chapter Four
Laney
“Flaws, we need them to be who we are” - Bastille
“It worked.”
I glance over my glasses. Bethany is staring past me, and I’m afraid to turn around and see what she is talking about. I’m pretty sure I know. The chair next to me scoots against the library floor and then squeaks underneath someone’s weight.
Glancing to my side, I see Aiden staring at me. “Laney, right?” He is smiling, giving me his best I’m a good boy smirk. Yeah, like I’d fall for that. I almost laugh.
I nod, continuing to stare at my book. Don’t make too much eye contact, it’ll be all over as soon as you look into those big brown eyes. “That’s me.”
Aiden smirks, turning his chair toward me. His knees touch my thigh. “I met you last night at The Loft. You—you kind of ran off before I could get you your drink. What happened?”
“Got busy. Had to leave. You know, some stuff came up. Sorry.” I grab my highlighter and start to highlight some of my history material.
There is a long silence. Bethany is trying to act nonchalant but I can feel her eyes on us.
“Okay—are you going to let me make it up to you? We could go out.”
I fake a yawn and scratch my neck. Playing it cool is starting to make him nervous. I swear I see him flinch. “Actually, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I have homework and work. I’m kind of booked. Thanks for asking though.”
More silence. I mean the uncomfortable type. Looking up, I almost laugh. Aiden’s got a deer-in-the-headlight look on his face. He isn’t used to getting turned down, obviously.
“Well, maybe tomorrow then? I have a rehearsal dinner for my cousin’s wedding. Want to be my date?” He tugs on his shirt collar before returning his hands to his lap
“Umm…” I trail off, biting my lip. “I don’t know…”
“One date,” he says. “Come out with me tomorrow and if I’m as awful as you’re making me feel right now, then I’ll leave you alone.”
Good, that’s how you make everyone else feel. Bethany kicks me under the table. I give her a warning glare. I know what I’m doing. “Okay, just this once.”
Aiden’s eyes widen and he stands up. “You won’t regret this, Laney. I’ll come by your room at five tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Room 406,” I say and then shoo him away with my hand.
He frowns but glances over at Bethany. “Brittany, right?”
Bethany’s eyes fall and she grits her teeth. If I had an egg, I could cook it on her forehead. “Yep, Brittany.” She waits until he is out of sight before gaping at me. “What. An. Ass. But holy shit, did you see the way he was acting? Like a damn puppy dog. I think I’m definitely going to have to take your advice.”
Rolling my eyes, I point toward my homework. “Okay, enough of Douchebag McGhee. Let’s get these history notes down.”
***
After studying and helping out at the writing center, I go back to my dorm. Heather is out with Todd, so I have the room to myself. I turn the radio up and begin to pick out what to wear tomorrow. I don’t go to a lot of wedding rehearsals, and I didn’t even think you brought dates to them. But whatever. My closet shows exactly how much I go out, which is never. So I look in Heather’s. Even though I’m much shorter, I can wear her dresses because she wears them way too small.
Taking my time, I try on different ones until I stop on a short black dress, low-cut in the front and tight against my butt. I’m twirling around when my heel snags on one of Heather’s shoes and I go sailing forward into the closet.
“Fuck,” I shout, covering my head as boxes fall from the top. I wait a few seconds before I uncover my head. There are shoe boxes, backpacks, and miscellaneous things scattered around me. “Well, that’s just great.” Groaning, I stand up slowly until I’m leaning on the clothes rack for support.
I slip out of my shoes before I do any more falling, and bend down to clean up. I’m halfway finished when I see a box. The box. My body begins to shake thinking about him. Why is this box in here? It must have gotten shoved in with Heather’s things. No, no, no. I won’t cry. I won’t.
Gathering my papers, I stop when my hand lands on a picture of us. Of him. Of us happy, together, smiling. Tears build in my eyes, and a hard lump forms in my throat. I slide my fingertip across the picture as a tear drops on his face. God, he was so beautiful. So perfect. So honest. So everything I wanted in a guy.
Until I fucked it up. Until I left him begging me to stay. Until I threw away my entire life for a stupid, selfish reason. Anger rises within me; I stand, kick the box, and throw the picture into the back of the closet. Shutting the door, I let myself fall to the floor.
Tears. Pain. Selfishness. All because of me.
I cry for hours. Not sure how many exactly, but until my eyes refuse to produce any more tears. I crawl into bed and toss the covers over my head. I fall to sleep with tear-soaked cheeks.
***
“I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I look down at the small black camera on the end of my necklace. You can’t even tell it isn’t a real pendant.
Bethany straightens my necklace and laughs. “Sure it is. I got it from Nick, the tech guy in the University’s IT department. He says it works one hundred percent. Now we can watch as Aiden’s life unravels in front of us.” She laughs a Plankton evil laugh.
I snort and pull at my dress. “What if he finds it?” Jeez, I didn’t realize we were going all Spy Kids on this.
Heather laughs from her desk. “Yeah the fuck right. Do you think Aiden would be able to figure that out? I had him in Geology last year. He isn’t that bright.”
Sliding into Heather’s heels, I snicker. “Okay, but if he does, I’m ratting both of you out.”
“He won’t, so don’t worry about it. I can’t believe we’re doing this. What’s your plan? Anything we need to know? What if he tries to kiss you? Will you let him? Oh, God. What if he tries to rape you! We will never get there quick enough. I mean—”