“I hear you,” said Mercury. “To be honest, I’d avoid it myself if I could. But I started this damn project, so I guess I have to see it through. Eddie and Balderhaz will go too, of course, but Eddie gets nervous in stressful situations and, well, Balderhaz....”
“Yeah,” said Suzy. She had managed most of the construction over the past six months, but that was nothing compared to babysitting Balderhaz. When he was on task, he had incredible concentration, often working for several days nonstop. But she had to keep constant tabs on him for fear that he would wander away and get himself crushed by an earth mover or sealed inside a concrete footing. They had spent one anxious night scouring the desert for him only to find that he had fallen asleep on the roof.
Yet, for all his eccentricities, it was clear that Balderhaz knew what he was doing. The capacious building was filled with hundreds of bizarre-looking devices, none of which resembled anything Suzy had ever seen before, but which Mercury and Eddie assured her were critical to the construction of a portal generator. The actual portal generator was only about the size of a large suitcase; the rest of the doohickeys and thingamajigs were only necessary to build other doohickeys and thingamajigs that had been used for constructing other doohickeys and thingamajigs that were required to build the doohickeys and thingamajigs that had been used to create the portal generator. The way Mercury explained it, interplanar portal technology used an entirely different sort of physics than the stuff she had learned in high school. According to Mercury, trying to build a portal generator with human technology was “like trying to build a television set starting with chopsticks and a bucket of sand.”
“You really think he’ll be done tomorrow?” Suzy asked.
“He’s done now,” said Mercury. “We’re just waiting for the batteries to charge.”
“Seriously? It uses batteries?”
“Not, like, electric batteries,” said Mercury. “They’re specially designed cells that soak up interplanar energy. Interplanar energy is all around us, and there’s a particularly strong confluence in this area, which is one of the reasons we picked this place. Once the batteries are full, we’ll be able to open the portal to Heaven.”
“But only to Heaven.”
“Why? Did you want to go somewhere else?”
“No, just curious if you could use the portal to go to any other planes. I’ve never been anywhere but here.”
“Theoretically we could, with enough power,” said Mercury. “But in practice we’re largely dependent on the configuration of the interplanar energy channels. In short, Heaven is the easiest place to get to from here.”
“That’s not what I learned in Sunday School,” said Suzy.
“You should have paid better attention,” said Mercury. “’Knock and the door shall be opened.’”
“So this is really happening? We’re finally done? We’re really going to open a portal to a whole other world?”
“Looks like it,” said Mercury. “I have to admit, I was a little concerned that when Balderhaz activated the batteries, we might attract....” He trailed off.
“What?” asked Suzy.
“Shhh!” Mercury hissed. “Do you hear that?”
Suzy listened for a moment. “I don’t hear... oh.” She now noticed a barely audible, rumbling sound. Like thunder, but with an odd sort of rhythm.
“Damn it!” Mercury shouted. “She found us.” He took off running toward the compound. “Turn them off! Turn the receptors off!”
Trying to locate the source of the sound, Suzy scanned the horizon. There. Three black specks in the distance, slowly growing larger. Helicopters.
“Who?” she called to Mercury. But he had already vanished inside. Suzy followed. By the time she got inside the building, the sound of the helicopters was loud enough that she could hear it through the walls. Not knowing where the receptors were located, she ran through the maze of strange contraptions and machinery toward the center of the building, where the portal generator was. She figured that if Mercury failed to get the receptors shut down in time, she might be able to grab the portal generator and get it out of the building. She had a feeling she knew who the “she” was Mercury thought had found them—and it was vital that the portal generator not fall into her hands.
Suzy walked down an aisle between two rows of machinery toward the open area where she had last seen Balderhaz working on the portal generator. As she rounded a corner, the device came into view. To Suzy, the portal generator seemed like the physical manifestation of anticlimax: all this work had gone into building something that looked like a small steamer trunk with a dinner-plate-sized satellite dish protruding from the top of it. A black conduit about the thickness of a garden house ran from an aperture near the bottom of the case across the floor, disappearing to somewhere else inside the BOX. That part was new—she assumed it was the connection to the batteries that Mercury had mentioned. As Suzy approached, she noticed something else different about the device: the dish was angled toward the concrete floor a few feet in front of it, and although no visible light was emitted by the dish, a faint blue-white ellipse had formed on the floor and was slowly becoming brighter. Someone had turned it on.
Suzy stepped into the open space, wondering if it was safe to try to move the thing. But as she left the cover of the machinery, the thought of escaping with the portal generator left her mind: just around the corner, a few paces from the device, was the figure of Balderhaz. He was facing away from her and had his hands in the air. A stack of boxes between her and Balderhaz blocked her view of who was threatening him, but she was fairly certain that she didn’t want to meet them.
Suzy stopped in her tracks and began to slowly back her way out of the open area. Once she was again hidden by machinery on either side, she turned around—and nearly walked head-on into the barrel of an assault rifle. The burly man behind the rifle, who wore a lot of scary-looking black gear on his person, grinned at her.
“Got another one,” the burly man shouted. Then, more quietly, he said, “Hands up. Turn around. Walk.”
She did as instructed, walking back into the open area. The man gave her a nudge in the back with his rifle barrel, and she stepped past the stack of boxes toward Balderhaz. To Balderhaz’s left stood Mercury and Eddie, with their hands raised as well. At the gunman’s prompting, she stepped up next to Eddie.
Three more men wearing the same heavy black tactical gear stood a few yards in front of them, their guns raised. Next to these men stood a black-haired man in a blue suit. He had a gun in one hand and a black cube in the other. Next to him stood a middle-aged woman Suzy had met before.
Tiamat had taken control of the BOX.
Chapter Thirteen
Tiamat was smiling. Suzy hated it when Tiamat smiled.
Mercury greeted Suzy with a grim nod.
“This is a twist, eh, Mercury?” said Tiamat. “Me foiling your nefarious scheme, I mean.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Tiamat,” said Mercury. “It’s pretty clear you’re not the one in charge. Also, it isn’t so much a nefarious scheme as a pernicious connivance.”
“So,” the black-haired man interjected, “you’re the notorious Mercury. You’ve caused an awful lot of trouble on this plane, you know.”
“Not just this plane,” Mercury protested. “I’ve caused trouble in places you’ve never even heard of.”
“Well, those days are over,” said the man. “I’m Special Agent Taylor Burton, director of the FBI Task Force on Beings of Indeterminate Origin. That’s ‘angels’ to you. We’re taking control of this facility, and taking you all into custody. I assume you’re all angels?”
“Not that one,” said Tiamat, pointing to Suzy. “She’s human.”
“Fine,” said Burton. “We’ll process her separately.”
“You’re making a mistake,” said Eddie. “You can’t control Tiamat with that cube. She’s using you.”
“I appreciate your concern,” said Burton, “but I’ll take my chances.”
“Don’t you see?” said Eddie. “She has a grudge against Mercury. She’s using you to eliminate her enemies.”
“Of course she is,” said Burton. “But it just so happens that our interests in this case are aligned. Now, somebody shut that thing off.” He was referring to the portal generator, next to which the blue-white ellipse on the floor was now glowing brightly. Suzy saw now that the ellipse was actually comprised of two different colors: a maze-like blue pattern etched onto a white background. Was that it? Suzy wondered. The portal to Heaven?
At Burton’s command, Balderhaz stepped toward the portal generator.
“Wait,” said Burton, holding up his hand. Balderhaz paused uncertainly. Burton turned to Tiamat. “Can we trust him?”
“I wouldn’t,” said Tiamat.
“You can’t trust her!” Eddie yelled, clearly frustrated with Burton’s apparent obtuseness. “She’s using you! You’re going to—”
Burton made a minute gesture with his hand, and Suzy heard a loud crack. Eddie fell to the ground, not moving. Turning her head, she saw the man who had escorted her in, his rifle butt raised. She glanced at Mercury, who shook his head almost imperceptibly at her. “Face front!” the gunman snapped at her, and she complied.
“In case I haven’t made myself clear,” Burton said, his voice even, “I’m not particularly interested in your opinions. I’d appreciate it if you’d keep quiet unless I speak to you.” He turned to Balderhaz. “You built this thing?”
Balderhaz nodded. “And that thing,” he said.
Burton looked quizzically at him for a moment. “Ah,” he said, looking at the cube in his hand. “Yes, this is a handy little device. Levels the playing field between angels and humans. You have my gratitude.”
Balderhaz shrugged, uncertain how to respond.
Burton turned to Tiamat. “He seems harmless,” he said.
Tiamat snorted. “He may be the most dangerous angel in existence,” she said. “There’s no telling what he might do if you let him touch that thing. He may have it rigged to self-destruct. He might transport us all a million miles into deep space. He might open a rift in the space-time continuum and annihilate Earth.”
“Is that true?” Burton said to Balderhaz.
“Well,” said Balderhaz, “it depends on how you’re using the modal auxiliary verbs ’may’ and ’might.’ Essentially, you’re setting up hypothetical situations in which one particular event out of several possibilities—some of which would have required advance planning on my part—takes place. Additionally, some of these scenarios seem to presuppose certain motivations, or at least the establishment of some subjective hierarchy of available options, to wit—”
“That’s enough,” said Burton, holding up his hand again.
“I know he seems like a buffoon,” said Tiamat, “but he really is quite clever. I wouldn’t let him near that machine.”
“What if we just leave it?” asked Burton.
“It’s an open portal,” said Tiamat. “Assuming it’s working properly, there’s another one just like it somewhere. Heaven, presumably.”
“It goes both ways?” asked Burton.
“That’s how portals work, genius,” replied Mercury.
Burton regarded him coolly, then turned to Balderhaz. “Where is the other side of that portal?” he asked.
“Heaven,” Mercury answered. “Like Tiamat said. It’s the only plane we can get to from here.”
Burton looked to Tiamat, who nodded. “It would take too much power to go anywhere else,” she said.
“Why did you turn it on?” Burton asked.
Balderhaz glanced at Mercury, as if uncertain how much to say.
“We heard the helicopters,” said Mercury. “We were going to shut down the receptors, but it was too late. Balderhaz thought maybe we could go through before you showed up.”
“We hoofed it in,” said Burton. “I only called for backup once the advance team was safely inside the building. Your security is somewhat lacking, by the way. You might just as well have left the door open for us.”
Suzy grimaced. Their “security” consisted of little more than locked doors and a chain link fence. She had been counting on their remote location to keep them safe from burglars and vandals; the idea of keeping out the FBI—to say nothing of demons—simply hadn’t occurred to her. Not that she would have been able to do anything about it anyway. Maybe that’s why Mercury had never mentioned the possibility.
“Speaking of open doors,” said Mercury, “there’s no telling who’s on the other side of that portal right now. I imagine they’re wondering why somebody bothered to open an interplanar portal if they weren’t going to use it.”
“It may have gone unnoticed,” Burton suggested.
“Not likely,” said Mercury. “Balderhaz specified the coordinates for the central square in the Celestial City, right in front of the Eye of Providence. Somebody’s seen it by now for sure. They’ve probably alerted the Heavenly authorities. I wonder how long it will take for them to send an expeditionary force through.”
“Expeditionary force?” asked Burton.
“Probably a score of combat-trained cherubim with flaming swords,” said Mercury. “Even with a Balderhaz cube, your men are no match for them. My best suggestion is this: drop your weapons and try to look nonthreatening. I’ll go through the portal and explain what’s going on. We probably have a few minutes before things get out of hand.”
Tiamat snorted. “The last thing we need is you scheming with the Heavenly authorities against us. We need to shut that thing down. Now.”
As she spoke, Suzy heard footsteps and the rustle of clothing behind her. Glancing back, she saw another two dozen men in tactical gear pouring into the open space. They spread in a circle around the assembled group, guns at the ready. It occurred to her that at some point the sound of the helicopters had ceased. Apparently these were the reinforcements. She wondered how the score of cherubim with swords would do against all these men.
Burton glanced at Tiamat, and then at Balderhaz. “You,” he said, pointing his gun at Balderhaz. “Step back.”
Balderhaz did as instructed.
“Tiamat, shut down the portal generator. And don’t try anything.”
Tiamat nodded and moved toward the device, gracefully sidestepping the glowing ellipse. However much Tiamat resented her current position as FBI lackey, Suzy realized, she would be much worse off in Heaven. If Tiamat suddenly appeared in the Celestial City, she’d be thrown in an underground cell to rot for the next seven thousand years.
The top of the portal generator’s case was angled slightly, and embedded in the angled panel was a small LCD screen. Just below the screen was a fold-out tray on which a keyboard rested. Tiamat studied the screen for a moment and then tapped a few keys.
“What’s taking so long?” Burton asked.
“Relax,” said Tiamat. “This is a sensitive device. It has to be shut down in the proper way to avoid side effects.”
“Side effects?” asked Burton dubiously. “Like what?”
Suzy heard Eddie groan on the floor next to her. “She’s doing something,” he murmured. “Don’t trust her.”
Suzy glanced at Mercury, who was studying Tiamat with interest. He seemed bemused, like someone anticipating the punchline to a joke but not certain whether or not he wanted to blurt it out.
“This is only going to take longer if you don’t let me concentrate,” said Tiamat.
“Concentrate on what?” Burton demanded, taking a step toward her. He held his gun pointed at her chest. “What are you doing? Just shut it down!”
“Done!” said Tiamat with a smile.
“Good,” said Burton. “Now step away from the—”
“See you soon,” said Tiamat, and stepped onto the glowing ellipse.
Burton opened fire, hitting her three times. Her scream faded as if someone had turned down her volume knob, and then she was gone.
Chapter Fourteen
Lucifer’s cell; April 29, 2017
“None of this makes any sense,” Lucifer said with a frown. “How can the goblin attack me when he has only one hit point?”
“Hit points don’t affect a monster’s ability to attack,” said Drekavac tiredly. “It’s the same with your characters. It’s a concession to playability.”
“Well, it’s silly,” said Lucifer, studying a big black rulebook whose cover was dominated by a giant scimitar-wielding demon menacing a trio of adventurers. “Who wrote these rules?”
“I thought you did,” said Drekavac. A few of the other demons in the circle nodded.
“I think I would have remembered that,” said Lucifer. “Oh, wait. This does seem familiar: THACO.” He pronounced the acronym Thay-co. The rest of the demons in the circle groaned. Lucifer chuckled.
Suddenly Gurien yelped as if something had bit him.
“What the hell’s gotten—” Pazusu started, but then trailed off, following Gurien’s gaze. In the middle of the circle of demons, a faint blue-white ellipse had appeared, glowing in the dim light of the cavern. It seemed to be getting brighter as they watched.
The rest of them now saw it as well.
“What in Heaven’s name...?” asked Drekavac.
“It’s a portal!” Azrael cried. “Someone is breaking us out!”
Lucifer seemed less enthusiastic, although his interest was certainly piqued. He stood up and took a step back. “Careful,” he said. “We have no idea who might be coming through that thing.”
The other demons heeded the warning, getting up and stepping back from the brightly glowing portal.
“Hey!” called Malcazar from across the cavern. “What are you guys doing in there?”
“Don’t let him see the portal!” Lucifer snapped. “Move!”
The demons congregated together, putting their bodies between the wall of bars and the portal.
“Just playing a game, Malcazar,” called Lucifer. “No need to get up from your nap.”
But Malcazar was already halfway across the cavern, his fiery sword drawn.
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