He smiled at her, hoping that he appeared docile and welcoming instead of like a feral, desirous, covetous monster. William had never been more conscious of what he was than just now: a monster that feasted on blood, a harbinger of death, murderer to the woman standing before him – long ago, once upon a time.
Olivia’s eyes roamed his face and then traveled down his body; he could tell that she appreciated what she saw. The feeling was entirely mutual – she was tall and strong-limbed, and her flaming red hair framed a face of exquisite beauty. To his mind she was perfection made real. William suddenly didn’t know how he had lived as long as he had without her magnificence by his side.
His body warmed enough for casual contact, William slowly walked across the room toward her, each step seeming like a mile.
Her heartbeat sped up, the lush, succulent sound reverberating in his ears. He quelled his desire and motioned for her to take a seat on the couch near the entrance to the room. Given how unconventional their meeting was – and not knowing what would happen from this point forward – William wanted Olivia to feel as comfortable as possible, to know that she could get up and leave at any moment without hindrance.
As she moved within mere feet of him, William felt the electricity again move down his body, little shocks and pinpricks of warmth and light down his spine. He could smell the scent he knew to be uniquely her, mingled with the spicy and sweet fragrance of her perfume. He felt his gums ache and his loins grow hard.
William wanted their reunion to be as their life together had been – easy, free, natural. As he stared into the jeweled depths of her eyes, he forced himself not to look inside her mind to see what she was feeling, what she truly thought of the moment. He’d invaded her soul once and ripped it asunder; he didn’t need to do it again.
Her eyes never leaving his, Olivia raised her hand ever so slightly as if she wanted to touch him. That small gesture, however minute, filled William with a level of happiness that had been wholly missing from his existence, gone since the day Ceara had died.
Awareness of what she had been about to do dawned across Olivia’s face, and she moved her hand down, settling stiffly into the couch.
“Hello William.”
His heart ached at those words; he looked away before she could see the emotion written across his face. Shaking his head at the realization that he was acting alternately like a lovesick pup and a psychopathic stalker, he turned back to her and smiled.
“Hello Olivia.”
Rather than join her on the couch – too close, too soon – William remained standing. He was aware that the gesture might seem intimidating, but it gave him a better vantage point to study her.
As she glanced up and studied him in return - their eyes locked on one another - William’s vulnerability was clearly visible to her. It was her turn to smile wryly.
The minutes ticked on and still neither spoke. It was enough, for now, to simply be.
Finally, William turned his back to her and moved to stand once again in front of the fire, hoping that she hadn’t been able to read too much in his eyes. He reached out to warm his hands by the flames and heard a soft sigh escape her sweet, pink lips. He turned his head to look at her, taking in the beauty that she was.
What I wouldn’t give to have her breath caress my lips.
He moved to join her on the couch, knowing that he’d be warm enough to the touch for the time being, however, to keep from reaching out and touching her, William ran his hands through his hair, down across his chin, and then hung them limply at his sides. He looked back at Olivia, not knowing what to say, and nearly laughed when she raised one perfectly arched brow at him, clearly wanting to know what he had to say for himself.
William motioned for John to bring her a glass of whiskey, their previously agreed signal that he should then leave the room. As he exited, closing and locking the wide double doors behind him, Olivia’s heart once again sped up. William smelled a new scent in the room – fear – coming off her in waves. It turned him on and repulsed him at the same time, the monster and the man clearly at odds with one another.
Breaking the vow he’d made just minutes earlier – something that was happening all to frequently since he’d discovered her – William pushed his preternatural senses across the divide between them to see what she was thinking. The power of her thoughts created an even more terrible war within him. She wanted William – he could feel her raw, carnal lust – as much as he wanted her. The images of the things she wanted him to do to her danced through his mind. He saw her up against the side of a brick building as he thrust up and into her again and again, each movement faster and harder than the one before, his mouth on her breasts, nibbling at the valley between each glorious mound, her head thrown back in ecstasy as she moaned his name aloud.
He liked the way she thought.
Olivia raised her glass of Connemara in silent salute to him. He smiled, acknowledging of the gesture, as she raised the glass to take in the bouquet wafting from the amber liquid below. She lifted her eyes over the brim to look at him then.
“Cheers.”
As she brought the whiskey to her lips, Olivia stared at William penetratingly, her eyes tinged with heat and desire, daring him to ask what she was thinking. He pushed deeper into her mind, willing her to know what and who he really was, reminding her of the times that they had made love and how much better than her fantasies it had always been. Olivia closed her eyes on a moan, delicious images flooding her brain.
As her breathing became more rapid and erratic, the scent of fear being replaced by desire, William forced her mind into a state between – neither asleep nor awake – and gave her all of it: the memories of their happy life together over the years, including images of her as a child, the two of them together as teenagers, then later walking hand-in-hand at twilight down on the banks of the river, and then finally, the two of them back to front in a copper tub filled with hot, steaming water, on their wedding night, completely sated, having made love off and on for hours.
William didn’t want to do it, but he knew that he only give her couldn’t the best of their life together; he had to show her the nightmares as well. He changed the memories and flooded her brain with the images that had been his constant nightmare since the day they had happened.
Fully in his thrall, Olivia’s head jerked back and forth as she tried to push the flashback from her consciousness: William walking toward her, ravenous for her blood, furious at his inability to control his abhorrent cravings, both pain and hunger etched across his features; she on her knees in front of him, tears streaming down her face as she begged him – her husband, her lover – to spare her life yet knowing that her pleas were futile; realization dawning bright that the man she had loved since they had been children was long gone, replaced by a walking monstrosity; and finally, their home – his castle – turned to cinder and ash as it burned to the ground.
Shuddering, Olivia’s body slid from the couch to the floor. He had pushed her too far. He wanted to grab her and hold on for dear life, but to touch her would be dangerous. Instead, he used his preternatural skills to usher Olivia’s mind away from those dark, horrific, macabre mental pictures.
“Liam,” she moaned, just before she succumbed to her mind’s will to protect itself, a defensive cocoon wrapping itself around her consciousness. She was quiet then, her body still. William didn’t need to worry though; he knew that physically she would be okay. Only time would tell what he had done to her mentally.
He watched her for several minutes, loathing what he was and the terror that he had introduced upon her. He had had no right to do it and yet he couldn’t seem to stop himself once he had begun. He had told himself that Olivia needed to know who she was, who he was, and the tie that bound them together against all logic and reason. Magic – that electrical current that tied them to one another – lingered in the air, fetid, cloying, and rancid as it stuck to every particle of his flesh.
Olivia began thrashing
as she fought her mind’s return from its murky depths. Her whimpers of fear tore at William’s soul, each sound the lick of a flame against his flesh. He didn’t dare touch her, but he felt compelled to be as close to her as possible so that he could share in her anguish, feel her breath on his face as soft cries passed through her ashen lips.
As Olivia began to settle, William leaned back against the couch to give her more space. When she opened her eyes, confusion passed through those emerald orbs, then recognition, followed by a blood-curdling scream not unlike the one he had heard long ago, just before he took her life. Sitting next to Olivia, his body mere feet from hers as he listened to her sobs begin anew, William knew it was a punishment he deserved. One that she did not. He loathed himself for having done this to her, but he had wanted there to be no secrets between them. He hated what he had done, but he knew he would have done it again in a heartbeat.
It was only once he sensed Olivia’s mind on the brink of collapse that William allowed himself to touch her. Grabbing her, he jerked her face to his own, willing her to focus on his eyes. Once she did, he invaded her mind again, this time delivering calming, soothing images to her. Only then did she quiet down, her eyes drifting closed and she hovered on the edge of consciousness. Slipping into a light slumber, she curled up into herself, her body forming a cocoon around her heart. This instinctual protective move was more than his battered heart could bear. Remembering how Ceara had used to fall asleep in his arms in front of the fire on cold winter nights, William placed her soft, yielding body into my arms, and wrapped her in a cocoon of his own.
* * * *
For an hour William held her tight, while Olivia was completely unaware of her surroundings. He receded into his memories and then, longingly, thought of his dreams for the future.
Olivia stirred and he began to rock her back and forth, singing the same Gaelic tune Ceara’s mother had sang to her when she was a child, afraid of the thunder and wind outside.
Olivia looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes, her lashes still moist with tears, and an understanding passed between them. She knew the dreams and nightmares he had shown her had been real. She knew that William was not who he presented to the world, that he was no longer human.
“What are you?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“You know me then?”
Olivia nodded in the affirmative.
“What am I?” she asked.
William could see that her mind was warring with itself, debating the need to slip back into unconsciousness. Before she could lose her tenuous grip on the here and now, he decided to tell her everything she wanted – no, needed – to know.
Before the night was over and he left her, she would know about their life together. He may never see her again, but she would walk away with the knowledge of him, and what they had been to one another all those centuries before.
“I don’t know much about who you are today beyond what I Googled mere hours ago,” he began, his voice breaking with emotion he’d long held at bay. “I only know who you were ... when you were.”
He paused, letting the words wash over her and sink in.
“In the year 1658 you were known as Ceara … my fierce, beautiful Ceara. You were my wife and I loved you more than you can ever know.”
While Olivia wanted to hear the story, know her history, she recognized that William had a need equal to her own to tell the story, unburden his soul to the only person that could absolve him of his sins.
“If I was … am … Ceara …who are you?” she asked, her voice shaking.
William suspected that she already knew the answer, having called his name before losing consciousness, but she needed the verbal confirmation all the same.
“My name is William Macauley and, as you might have guessed, I’m a vampire.”
CHAPTER 15
“What is happening to me? Why is this happening to me?” Olivia asked, knowing that William was the only person who could fill in the blanks of her history. “I must be going crazy.”
William sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again in a sign of his growing consternation.
“Before I begin, knowing what you know and having seen what I’ve shown you, can you trust me?” He held his breath, afraid of what her answer would be. “Can you be alone with me?”
Afraid to push her any more than he already had, but terrified at what answer he might hear cross her lips, William once again looked inside her mind to read what he was too afraid for his ears to hear.
While the logical, reasonable part of Olivia’s psyche was telling her that William was a murderer – her murderer at that – and that she should never trust him, her heart, the heart that now remembered their love and the years they had spent together, was telling her that now that she had found him, regardless of who or what he was, she could never let him go. The other less logical, more emotional half of Olivia recognized that William was the missing piece of the puzzle that was her rather solitary, confused life.
William was awed and humbled by the strength and fortitude before him. He didn’t deserve her today any more than he had centuries before.
Olivia nodded in the affirmative, the answer to his questions sending a surge of hope through him for what their combined futures could be.
“We only have a few more hours before I’ll need to leave you,” he said, acknowledging aloud for only the second time that night the extreme gulf that divided them: human and not.
Despite the knowledge he had gleaned from reading her mind, William still needed verbal confirmation that she was indeed sure of her actions.
“If you don’t trust me, let me know now and I promise, I’ll leave you forever.”
It was a promise he was loathe for her to accept, but he knew the offer had to be made. If the newfound knowledge she had been imparted with turned out to be more than she could handle – if, after all was said and done, she could never truly accept him – William would need to leave her.
He would have to.
It would undoubtedly be the hardest thing he’d done since burying her cold, lifeless body years before, but from then on out he wanted only to do what was best for her regardless of what it meant for him. If it ever came down to it William knew that he would gladly give his immortal life for hers.
“No, you can’t leave me,” Olivia whispered, an increased sense of urgency in her voice. “I need you. I NEED YOU,” she said again, more emphatically, underscoring her resoluteness in the face of madness.
The words he had so longed to hear felt like nirvana.
“I need to know who I am, who you are ... and what we were together.”
He could give her that and more. He would give her their history – her history – and, he vowed, he would carve out a future for them so that their story would not only be of what had been, but also of what was to come.
Picturing this future together, he returned to stand by the fire to warm his hands. He wanted desperately to touch Olivia but he feared the coldness of his body would scare her off.
With his back to her, William sensed a new wave of agitation come over her. Delving deep into her psyche, he heard the thoughts swirling in her head: How did he feed? Would he take her blood? If so, would he ask first? How would it happen?
As her breathing hitched, William drew in a deep breath of his own, his mind disquieted over the fact that his appetites and predilections would always be between them. But as quickly as the thoughts entered her mind, they were replaced by memories of their earlier conversation, and he saw through her eyes the man she thought him to be.
“You’re not going to kill me,” Olivia said with a surety that William knew was borne of a feeling of absolute rightness in her heart.
Instead of answering her verbally, he spoke to her through the hypnotic and mesmerizing connection they possessed. “I will never harm you.”
Again – the word was left unspoken and unacknowledged by either one of them.
The mental intrusion
made Olivia wonder if William had been putting thoughts in her head all along, if she could indeed trust her own mind. With William having shown her their shared history telepathically, she wasn’t sure if her thoughts, and ultimately her decisions, were entirely her own.
“I’m not manipulating you,” he answered Olivia’s unspoken question. “Yes, I can read your mind, and I can communicate with you telepathically, but what you are thinking and feeling now does not come from me. Your emotions are entirely your own.”
Olivia took a moment, her head held in her hands, to collect and calm herself. She looked up at him and what William saw in her steadfast gaze astounded him. After everything that had happened between them tonight – after the atrocities he had shown her that he was capable of – she still wanted him as much as he wanted her. Much like his own, hers was both an emotional and physical want – a desire that could only be overcome by the complete possession of one another.
William saw the moment Olivia made the decision that would seal their fates and he knew that they would be forevermore united as one.
“I am humbled by your faith in me,” he whispered as he dropped to his knees in front of her in supplication to her every wish and desire.
While he wanted nothing more than to take her upstairs to her room and show her just how much he worshipped her, now was neither the time nor the place. Her scent told him that she wanted it too, but when he finally joined his body with hers William wanted it to be in their home, the only place they had ever made love.
“Not here,” he whispered. “Not in this sterile hotel, rank with the scent of a thousand other humans perfuming the air. Not in a place that holds no meaning for either of us.”
He gently cupped her face in his palms, something he had been longing to do since she first walked into the room. It took all of his willpower not to lean forward and kiss her trembling, rose-colored lips but once he started down that path he intended to finish it.
A Time Apart: Book One of The Macauley Series Page 12