by London Hale
Only to find him staring right at me.
Jaw set, shoulders tense, he stood there just watching me. My breath caught at his heated gaze, feeling it all the way to my toes. It’d always been this way between us, since day one, except now there was another layer to it. Another layer we needed to ignore.
Elliott’s eyes flicked away from me for only a moment, toward where Matt sat at my side, then he locked his gaze on mine again. His black-rimmed glasses did nothing to hide his intense stare, and I was helpless to tear my eyes away. It felt like our gazes held forever before he finally looked toward the building and started up the stairs, taking them two at a time and disappearing through the door.
“Sam?” Matt asked, bumping my foot with his to get my attention. “How about you?”
I shook my head, tearing my eyes away from the door Elliott had gone through. “Sorry, what?”
“This summer? What’re your plans?”
I hated this question, because my answer was always met with pitying stares. Like the only reason I’d be working at the marina was because my parents were making me, or because it was the only place I could get a job. Truth was, the water was my home, and any career that got me close to that was one I’d love. “I’ll be working at the marina.”
Matt nodded. “That’s cool. You gonna wait to find a real job after the summer?”
Annnnnd, there it was. A “real” job. As if working my ass off for my family business couldn’t possibly be considered real.
My phone buzzed, saving me from saying something I’d no doubt regret. I glanced at the screen, not recognizing the number, but swiping to answer the call. “Hello?”
“Samantha?” a female voice asked.
“Yes?”
“Hello, this is Bonnie, the administrative assistant for the department of student affairs. Dean Goodridge needs to discuss an important matter with you. Are you available now? I’ve cleared his schedule.”
“Um…” I glanced around, though what I was looking for, I had no idea. Lucy didn’t know anything about Elliott, so it wasn’t like she could give me advice on whether or not I should go to this impromptu meeting. But, really, what choice did I have? When the dean wanted an appointment with you, you said yes. No matter the shady-as-hell circumstances. “Sure. I’m just in the quad. I can be there in five minutes.”
“Perfect, I’ll let him know,” Bonnie said. “See you soon.”
The line went dead, and I stared at the phone for half a second before gathering up my things. “Sorry, guys, I have to run. Lucy, I’ll call you later.”
With a wave, I shouldered my bag and walked away to their chorus of goodbyes, heading toward the building I’d seen Elliott escape into not even ten minutes before. Completely unsure of what awaited me as I walked to his office. Had someone found out? Or, shit, maybe it wasn’t anything at all about us, but about me. If he’d reconsidered things between us, he had my number. Surely he’d call me. But having his assistant contact me as if it were official school business made my stomach sink with dread. What if something had happened with my credits?
Thoughts racing a mile a minute as to what this meeting could mean, I headed to his office. Bonnie sat behind a desk in the reception area, gray hair pulled back into a tight bun and red reading glasses perched on the end of her nose. “Hello, Samantha. You can go right on back. He’s expecting you.”
I walked down the short hall to his office, took a deep breath, and turned the doorknob. It took only a moment to spot him, pacing in front of his desk, one hand in his pocket, the other tugging at his hair. I tried to ignore how hot he looked and exactly how aware I was of that. How his pants fit him spectacularly, his jacket pulled tight across broad shoulders. How he paced with an air of impatience and frustration. How he yanked at his hair, and how I remembered exactly how it’d felt when I’d had it clutched in my fingers only last week as I’d ridden his face…
Shaking my head of those thoughts, I cleared my throat. “Bonnie said you wanted to see me?”
He jerked his head up, dropping his hand as he let his gaze sweep over my body, cataloguing every inch of me. “Yes, I did. Come in, and please close the door.”
I slipped inside, shutting the door behind me and taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “She didn’t mention why you needed to see me.”
He leaned against his desk as he tore his gaze away and looked out the window. “No, she wouldn’t have said, would she? Not when no one can know.”
“Know what?”
Blowing out a deep breath, he turned his head toward me. “How are you, Sam?”
I stared at him, a disbelieving laugh flying from my lips. Was he seriously starting our conversation with that? How exactly did he think I’d be? “How am I? Well, let’s see. I thought I had a good thing going with this hot guy who came into my work, but it turns out he’s someone completely inappropriate for me to get involved with. Didn’t stop him from giving me the best head of my life, though. But then he decided to bail like it didn’t matter.”
“It mattered. Don’t think it didn’t.”
“I’m not sure what world you live in, but in mine when a guy runs away after getting you off, it’s a sure sign it didn’t mean anything.”
He pushed off the desk and started pacing again, a restrained tiger in a too-small cage. “You think I wanted to do that? Fuck, Sam—I wanted nothing more than to drag you back to my place and tie you to my bed for a week so I could learn every fucking inch of you. I wanted to have breakfast in bed while you told me funny stories from working at the coffee shop or why you like to sail. I wanted the whole goddamn thing, but we can’t have that. Not yet.”
I closed my eyes, trying to stop the images from coming to me, but it was no use. My brain conjured up every instance he mentioned, so vivid and real it was as if they were memories instead of daydreams. So vivid, my body went liquid, my nipples hardening and my pussy growing wet. On a shaky breath, I opened my eyes. “Then why am I here?”
“Because…” He ran a hand through his hair and looked toward the ceiling. “Because I can’t have you, but I can’t stop thinking of you either. I’ve never wanted a woman more in my life. I’ve never been so obsessed with pondering what she was wearing or how her hair was done when she wasn’t around me. I’ve never stayed up all night wondering how I could possibly pass so much time without her when she was all I craved.” He lowered his head, stepping closer until he was directly in front of me. “I called you here because I couldn’t stay away another second.”
My breath was frozen in my lungs, hope of what could be if I believed his words warring with the reality of what had already happened. What he’d insisted happen. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want to see you…off campus.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, definitely not.”
“And things are suddenly different now because, why?” It didn’t make sense. It’d been nothing from him—no contact at all. No visits to the coffee shop, no texts, no covert meetings on campus. In fact, the only time I’d seen him since that night in the boathouse had been just prior to him calling me in here. When I’d been in the quad with—”Wait…is this because you saw me with another guy?”
He blanched. “I… It’s not all that.”
I stared at him for a disbelieving moment, before shaking my head and standing to leave. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You were fine waiting to do anything with me until you saw another guy was paying attention. You don’t want me, but no one else can have me either… Fuck that.”
I grabbed my bag and strode toward the door, reaching out to turn the knob. Before I could make contact, he grabbed my wrist and spun me around, tugging me against him until our bodies were pressed together. So much like that night in the boathouse my knees went weak. I rested my hands against his chest as he slipped a hand around my waist and pressed against the small of my back, pulling me tighter to him.
“I do want you,” he said,
his gaze never leaving mine. “Never doubt that. I want you so badly, I can’t think of anything else. You’re mine, Sam. Let me prove it.”
My spine snapped straight, hearing him refer to me as his when he’d tossed me aside like I didn’t mean anything only days before. “I’m not—”
Before I could get out the rest of my words, Elliott slanted his lips over mine, capturing my protests in his mouth. I went boneless at the first press of his lips, sinking into him as he slid his tongue against mine. Where I’d expected it to be urgent, all tongues and teeth, he’d taken us in a different direction, slowly stroking his tongue against mine as his thumb rubbed constant circles against the small of my back. With his other hand, he reached down and cupped my ass, tugging me up on tiptoes and pressing me against his cock, hard as steel in his pants. A little bit sweet, a little bit naughty.
I moaned into his mouth, wanting him desperately. Wanting him to strip me down, lay me on his desk, and sink inside me. Wanting to do nothing but be with him. Another second and I may have asked him to do just that.
But I wasn’t going down that road. Not today.
With a hand against his chest, I pushed him away and stepped back, my breaths coming fast and harsh. “You can’t just…” I shook my head, pressing my fingers to my swollen lips. “You can’t just say that and kiss me and think it’s all okay. You can’t say I’m yours when you’ve spent the past week avoiding me.”
“Sam, wait—”
I help up a hand to cut him off. “I’m not a plaything, Elliott. You can’t pull me in and toss me aside, only to decide you want me again. And you certainly can’t do it all the while claiming I’m yours.”
He stood rooted to the spot I’d left him, his hands yanking relentlessly at his hair. “You may not like me calling you mine, but I’m yours, too, Sam. Completely.”
With one last glance, I opened his office door and said over my shoulder, “Prove it.”
And then I walked away.
*
The buzz of incoming texts went off before I’d made it across the quad and to my last class. I didn’t even have to look to know they were Elliott, the messages coming one right after another.
Once I’d gotten into my class and settled in a seat at the back of the room, I pulled out my phone and stared at the notifications. Seven texts. All from Elliott.
It wasn’t him that made me call.
You have to know that.
Tell me you believe it.
Those had come in rapid succession, all stamped at the same time. Then there was three minutes of nothing before another set, one right after another.
Seeing you with another man wasn’t why I called—it was just the knife that cut the thread holding me back.
I would’ve called you today even if I hadn’t seen you and him together.
I’ve missed you.
I’ve always wanted you.
I rolled my eyes, debating with myself on whether or not to answer. In the end, I decided on a short I’m in class and left it at that, placing my phone facedown on the table in front of my seat. Vowing I wouldn’t look for the next fifty minutes, regardless if he texted again or not.
While I tried to pay attention as the professor spoke, the buzzing of incoming texts kept distracting me, but I wouldn’t allow myself to look. Which meant my mind wandered to all the messages he sent. Was he still pleading? Had he turned sweet? Dirty? Filthy?
When class was dismissed, I packed up my things and left. It took a herculean effort, but I didn’t peek at my phone on the walk home. Didn’t even glance until I was tucked away in my bedroom, glad I hadn’t run into my parents at the marina on my way to my apartment.
I dropped my bag, then collapsed on my bed, finally allowing myself to look at my texts. And he hadn’t disappointed.
He’d gone sweet—I miss you. So fucking much. I miss seeing your smile every morning. I miss spending too much money on coffee just to have you write on the side of my cup—making me melt. He’d gone dirty—You said you’re not a plaything. I think you would be for me. I’d love to play with you again—which made me sigh and close my eyes, remembering the kiss earlier. And then he’d gone filthy—I dream of you riding my face again. I can’t keep my hands off my cock when I think of the taste of you—his words burning me up inside, making me crave his kiss, his touch.
And while those were all amazing, each one serving to chip away at my reservations, what sealed the deal was the text that came in as I lay in bed, staring up at his messages.
I know I was an idiot. I’ll fall on my knees and beg you to forgive me if that will heal the pain I’ve caused. Anything you need, anything you want… I’m in. Completely. Let me be yours.
Bringing the phone to rest against my chest, I closed my eyes, remembering the past two months. Our encounters at Bundt and Grind which started something neither of us had been prepared for. Forbidden or not, our connection was undeniable. And it seemed as though he was finally in it and willing, rules be damned.
I thought over what it’d felt like when we’d finally given in at the boathouse and again in his office, how he’d gripped me so tightly, owning my mouth like no other man had. There was no stopping my reaction. No deterring my decision.
Every bit of me—even my heart that had somehow gotten tangled in the mess—was all in.
Chapter Five
Elliott
My apartment might as well have been a prison. It felt too much like a cage, like obstacles in the way of what I wanted. Of Sam. I paced the living room, a whiskey sour in one hand, my phone in the other. Hours. It’d been hours since I’d last texted her, and she’d yet to respond.
I tried again and again to make a plan for what to do next. Flowers and gifts were out, more texts seemed almost fruitless. I couldn’t even show up at her place and beg her to take me back because, from what I understood, she lived in an apartment at the marina, which meant her parents were a little too close for comfort. If I went to Bundt and Grind to see her, she might treat me differently than before, which people could notice. Besides, I couldn’t talk to her the way I wanted to there. Not with so many customers around, so many students. If I pushed too hard, everything could come crashing down. All I could do was wait. All I could hope for was her forgiveness.
I was not good at waiting.
The whiskey burned as I took a sip, and the lights of the ferry boat slowly drifted across the blackness outside my windows. I’d picked this apartment for the view, but knowing no one could see inside because of the height of the building was only an added bonus. There was nothing to interrupt the skyline, nothing to block the picturesque lake just a stone’s throw away. During the day I could watch the waves crash against the rocky shore and catch glimpses of the lighthouse being refurbished around the outcropping that protected the ferry dock. At night, I saw mostly sky and stars. Pinpricks of light against velvety black, broken by the occasional boat. The view was beautiful on a good day, but on a bad one, the sense of isolation could be suffocating. It was not a good day.
I was right in the middle of wishing I’d installed some sort of curtains so I could close myself off from the rest of the world when a knock sounded at my door. I stood and stared at it for a good five seconds, unwilling to hope. Knowing there was no one else who might possibly be coming to see me, especially late at night. It could be her…it might be.
Why wasn’t I answering the fucking door?
I made it across the living room in three strides, made it to the doorway in five. With one last breath and a prayer that this was it, that my future would be on the other side of the door, I turned the handle and opened it.
“Sam.” The word was a whispered plea. A surrender. And she knew it.
She looked up at me with those big, dark eyes. Scared. Brave. “I got your texts.”
That was it. All I needed to know, all that needed to be said right then. Four words, and I knew she’d eventually forgive me for being an idiot and wasting time trying to keep us apart. She wou
ldn’t have shown up otherwise, and I wasn’t about to waste another second.
I pulled her inside, wrapping my arms around her and pressing my lips to hers without hesitation. Fuck social norms and awkward beginnings. This was Sam…my girl.
She kissed me back with fervor, her body saying all I needed to hear. The I’m still mad at you that screamed from her almost violently clutching at my hair. The but I fucking missed you she showed in the way she clung to me. The absolute and utter claim over me as she slid her tongue against mine. Unmistakable, my girl’s actions.
Sam kicked the door closed, the slam not even giving us a moment’s pause. I walked us backward into the living room. Refusing to let her go for a second. I couldn’t keep my hands off her, couldn’t stop running them all over her body. Every bit of skin I could uncover, every curve I could finally access, was a celebration. A gift. And I was going to savor them all.
“Want you naked,” I mumbled against her lips before biting the full bottom one simply because I could.
Sam sighed and dragged her hands down my back, pressing us even closer. “I’m not stopping you.”
Perfect.
Stumbling, pulling her to exactly where I wanted, I undressed her like a starving man uncovering a treasure trove of food. Quickly, and without care for what was discarded. Her shirt flew toward the kitchen, her bra landing somewhere on the couch, pants pushed down, underwear tugged with them. I had her naked in record time. Naked and with her back pressed against the window I’d been staring out of only moments before.
“Someone might see,” she said as she unbuckled my slacks, her fingers fumbling slightly when I leaned down to take a nipple between my lips. Fuck, she tasted good. I wanted to lick her all over, but she obviously had other plans. She shoved me back, giving herself room to work on undressing me at least partially. She finally got my pants opened with a triumphant groan. My belt pulled them down to my ankles, and I kicked them off.