by L. S. Gibson
"I've always seen her the way I described her just now since the day we found her," he replied.
"So my interest in her has nothing to do with this," Jhond said.
Ninian regarded him steadily for a moment before he replied, "Perhaps not, but I don't doubt it's of significance to the entity and that it will use it in any way it can. I'm sorry, Jhond, but you know it's true."
Amired sucked in a breath. "Ah, I didn't realize. And does she feel the same way?"
Jhond glared at Amired. "You'd have to ask Ninian that. He appears to be the expert."
Ninian sighed. "She confessed to me once that she had feelings for Jhond, but that was before I was aware of Jhond's reaction."
Jhond was very uncomfortable to be at the center of this conversation and got to his feet again. "What matters now is getting to the bottom of this."
"And the only way to do that is to talk to Remelin," Ninian said.
"Yes," Jhond said, walking toward the door.
"Not on your own," Ninian said.
Jhond turned to stare at his friend, but Ninian went on regardless. "She affects you, Jhond. You can't deny it.The entity is using her to get to you. Can't you see that?"
"Are you saying her confession to you was just a ploy?" Amired asked Ninian.
"I don't know. Her feelings may be very real, or they may be nothing but a sham."
"How can you say that?" Jhond demanded. "I know, I feel that her emotions are real--"
"You said earlier you had difficulty getting a sense of her personal feelings," Ninian interrupted.
Jhond flushed, but quickly said, "I have trouble delving beneath the surface, but I do know they're real." Ninian raised an eyebrow and seemed about to speak, when Jhond rushed on, "You...had to coax her to confess her feelings for me, so how can you now doubt it! How can you doubt me?" Anger was rolling through him in waves, and he fought to control it. He was tempted to tell them about the kiss, but anger and caution made Jhond keep quiet.
"Because she's under an outside evil influence, and by now, she's a practiced liar," Ninian said, gripping Jhond's shoulders tightly, gazing deeply into his eyes. Jhond sensed Ninian's desperation's as he continued, "Jhond, you need to take a step back and to really, really look at the truth of this situation. Think about it. Stop listening to your emotions and use your well-honed logic. She is using your feelings against you."
That hurt, but in that instant, Jhond knew Ninian was right, and just then Jhond hated him for it. Jhond was shocked at his reaction; he could never truly hate Ninian. What was wrong with him? Feeling at a complete loss, he sat down again. "What's wrong with me?" he said. "I feel so out of control."
"Which is likely the intent, and why you cannot speak with her alone. We need to bring her in here," Ninian said.
"She's only been asleep for about an hour," Amired commented. "If we awaken her now, she'll know for certain something is wrong. Isn't it better she--it--isn't prepared before we question her?"
"Very good point, my friend," Ninian said. "Nothing's going to happen while she sleeps. We should take the opportunity to get some rest ourselves. We can deal with this in the morning."
"I'll just check things on deck," Amired said. "Be back in a few minutes."
Jhond knew Amired was giving them a few minutes to themselves, but Jhond didn't want to discuss this with Ninian and went to sit at the table, his back to Ninian. It seemed Ninian felt the same for he said nothing as he spelled two sleeping pallets into existence in the narrow space between the cabin wall and the existing bed.
"Not much room," Ninian said, "but it's better than sitting in those hard chairs all night." He lay down, and Jhond felt Ninian's eyes on his back.
Jhond debated sleeping in the bed, but decided it was better to leave that to the captain. Taking the other pallet, Jhond settled down on his side with his back to Ninian. "Sleep well," he said quietly.
He tensed as he felt Ninian's hand on his shoulder. "You, too, my friend."
Suddenly swamped by guilt, knowing Ninian only had his best interest at heart, Jhond grasped the hand on his shoulder and gave it squeeze.
* * * *
Amired woke them early the next morning, saying he had duties to attend to, adding, "Call me if you need me when you confront Remelin."
Ninian got up, watching as Jhond moved out of the way and took a seat at the table, leaning his head in his cupped hands. Ninian reversed his spell and the sleeping pallets disappeared. He was aware Jhond hadn't slept well, tossing and turning all night. Ninian had tried to sleep, but his concern for Jhond had kept him awake most of the night, too.
"Do you think Amired should be here when we speak with Remelin?" Ninian asked tentatively.
Jhond straightened up and looked at Ninian for the first time that morning. "Yes, I think he needs to be. He's being affected by whatever is happening, too."
"Good, I--" Ninian was interrupted by a knock at the door. He opened it to find a smiling Remelin standing there.
"Good morning," she said, her wide smile embracing both of them, though Ninian noticed it lingered a little longer on Jhond. "I went on deck and the weather is beautiful today...cold but bright. It made me feel good. And hungry," she added with a laugh.
"As ever," Ninian said, determined to keep his voice level and calm.
Jhond gave her a distracted smile. Getting to his feet, he said, "I'll just go and get a breath of fresh air and invite Amired to join us for breakfast." He backed toward the door, opened it and left.
"Is he alright? He seems preoccupied," Remelin commented.
"I don't think he slept too well," Ninian said truthfully.
"The sea air will help," she said, taking a seat at the table.
Ninian studied her as if somehow he would see a different Remelin to the one he always had, but she was just the same. He shook his head as though somehow that would help.
"You look a bit preoccupied yourself, Ninian," she said.
"Do I? No, just a little tired."
"Not very conducive to sleep three in this small cabin," she commented.
"No." Ninian was relieved to hear voices indicating Jhond was returning with Amired.
They entered, and Amired paused to stare at Remelin, shaking himself to smile at her and wish her good morning.
"Remelin is hungry. You two want breakfast, too?" Ninian asked. He saw as Jhond hesitate before he nodded.
"Aye," Amired said. "The sea always makes one hungry."
Ninian worked his magic and provided a large bowl of porridge, fresh bread with butter and honey, a variety of fruits, hot beverages and a jug of cold water. Plates, dishes and cutlery appeared in front of each place. Everyone filled dishes, plates and mugs, and there was little talk as they tucked in. Ninian noted that though he and Jhond ate little, Amired and Remelin tried everything at least once.
It wasn't long before the serving dishes were empty and even Remelin sat back, replete and happy.
She grinned at Amired. "I've already told Ninian I've got to have one of those Judral stones. Do you have one?"
"Wouldn't do me any good," he replied. "I don't have the wherewithal to use one."
"Think I could, when they train me. Right, Ninian?"
"I expect so." Ninian cleared the table, glanced at Jhond and re-took his seat.
Ninian felt his extra years as he looked at Jhond and saw a confused young man; the Eynan was buried somewhere inside. He sensed eyes on him and found Amired was watching him, a question in his expressive eyes. He knew he was procrastinating and turned his attention to Remelin, who was glancing from one to the other curiously. Ninian thought she was about to ask a question and stepped in quickly to stop her distracting him from his course.
"Remelin, would you describe your appearance to us?"
She looked genuinely puzzled. "Describe my appearance? Whatever for? I don't understand."
"Don't you? Or is it that you do understand and can't afford to risk describing yourself because we all see you differently
?"
"Whatever are you talking about?" she asked, and Ninian had to give her credit for sounding totally confused.
"Very well, if you want to continue with the game, I see a young woman with fair hair and grey eyes. Amired?"
"Light red hair and green eyes."
"Jhond?"
"Brown hair and deep blue eyes," Jhond said quietly, not looking at Remelin.
"Would you like to explain that to us?"
"Is this just since we've been aboard ship?" Remelin asked.
Ninian pursed his lips and felt his jaw tighten. "No, since the day we met."
"Why didn't you query it before?" she asked, her voice low and tone reasonable.
"Because we didn't know until Amired made a comment last evening."
"I didn't know either. I swear," she declared. She turned to Jhond. "You must believe me. I don't understand this any more than you do." He didn't look at her, his gaze on his hands on the table surface. "It has to be the entity," she insisted. "You know how powerful it is."
"No," Jhond said, finally raising his eyes to look at her. "That cannot be. We are free from its influence out here."
"You must be wrong. It's affecting all of us somehow." She sounded desperate.
"No!" Jhond reiterated with a touch of anger. "I can feel it, still trying to escape. The only way it could have any effect was if someone is purposely acting as a conduit for it. Why, Remelin? Why?"
"Me? No, I'm not. I wouldn't!"
She sounded so definite, terribly shocked and hurt that they would think such a thing of her, but she made a mistake. A mistake Ninian saw. It was only for an instant, swiftly aborted, but it was there. A hand lifted to breast height before changing course and reaching out toward Jhond's hand on the table beseechingly.
"What are you hiding?" Ninian demanded.
"What do you mean?" she asked, disconcerted Jhond hadn't responded to her.
"Beneath your dress, next to your skin, I imagine," Ninian pressed. "It never occurred to me before, but you always wear high-necked dresses."
"Nothing, I swear. I just like the style. I don't know why you would think--"
"Because I saw, I sensed... Show us, or I'll simply spell your clothes away."
"You wouldn't dare?" She stopped at the look Ninian gave her, got hastily to her feet and made to leave the cabin. Suddenly, she froze mid-motion, one leg slightly lifted, her profile clearly visible to those watching from the table.
Ninian hadn't acted, which meant Jhond must have.
In an unutterably weary voice, Jhond said, "Stop lying. Stop fighting. Show us now."
As Jhond released her, she staggered a step, then turned to face them. Her face was pale, her expression vague. She lifted a shaking hand to her neck and slowly pulled free a long, thin chain until a slim locket was revealed. It looked delicate, and Ninian felt nothing from it...no power, no threat. How had she kept it hidden from them, from Jhond, all this time?
Jhond stared at it, apparently as puzzled as Ninian, before he abruptly flicked a finger, and all at once, Ninian felt it. The locket was redolent with power; it even glowed a little with a faint silvery light. Then Ninian remembered Jhond's description of the entity, the metal rod and its silvery mist.
Remelin had purposely kept the locket hidden, clearly knowing what it meant and how powerful it was.
Ninian glanced at Jhond, understanding how much he was hurting over her betrayal.
Chapter 17
"Why?" Jhond asked, though he didn't really expect a sensible answer. Or any answer. He heard Remelin's choked gasp and looked at her, furious when he still saw her as the pale copy of Gallia she had always been. Why could he see that clearly now, but not before? Because he was a fool! A poor pathetic fool who had tried to achieve happiness, which had never existed, not then and not now. He'd kissed her believing he had finally found something true, and it had been as false as...
He reached out and, grabbing the chain, snapped it from her neck. He stared at it in the palm of his hand and, swamped in anger, he drew on his power. The locket shattered into hundreds of tiny shards, which exploded from his hand to shower onto the ground at his feet as little more than a cloud of dust.
The air around Remelin shimmered and the brown-haired, blue-eyed young mage was gone. In her place stood a young woman whose figure was a little fuller, with black hair and hazel eyes, who was still beautiful in her own form. Behind him, Ninian sighed, and Amired cursed. Jhond was silent as he regarded the true Remelin. If there was such a thing as a true Remelin.
"What do you see?" Jhond asked Ninian.
"Her age and figure are similar to the Remelin I saw, but now she has black hair and eyes of greenish brown."
Jhond glanced at Amired, who nodded his agreement.
"So this is the real you?" Jhond asked, noticing that she was sobbing quietly. He hardened his heart.
She raised her head to look at him, her eyes still swimming in tears. "You have to believe me...I had no choice. Everything I told you about how I found the cellar and...and that thing is true, but it had its hooks into me long before you ever arrived." She stepped toward him. "I wanted to warn you from the beginning, but it always knew how I felt, what I was thinking. Sometimes it was like I was a prisoner inside my own body, like I was a marionette and it was pulling all my strings."
Jhond felt sick at the thought it had manipulated that fiery kiss between them.
"Where did you get the locket?" Ninian asked, forcing Jhond to attend to the conversation.
"Days before you came, it instructed me to go into one of the cells in the nunnery, where the nuns used to sleep, and told me to look for a certain stone, a small block in one of the walls I had to work loose. Inside the space, I found a small leather pouch and the locket was inside. I didn't fully understand what the entity said, but it seems that sometime in the past it had instructed one of the nuns to work a spell around the locket. I'm not sure if the nun ever used it, but she had secured it in the wall so it could be used when the entity needed it. That's all I know, I swear."
"And there was no way you could have warned us once we reached my ship?" Amired queried.
She looked puzzled. "I was no more free of its influence here than I was back home in Garileon." She looked at Jhond and Ninian. "You escaped its influence, but as long as I was wearing that"--she waved at the minute specks of dust on the floor at her feet--"I had no choice. Like I said, it was as if the entity controlled my thoughts and actions." She paused a minute, and Jhond was at a loss as to what to do next.
Suddenly, she said, "Remember when you both first arrived in the cellar and Ninian was puzzled when he couldn't find me as he expected? I was there all the time in the corner where you eventually saw me, but it wasn't only the warden spell hiding me from view. I didn't know anything about that. The entity put a shield around me for the first few minutes while you investigated the cellar. It was searching your memories"--she flushed--"looking for..." Her voice faded as she stared at Jhond, who felt his face heat as resentment roiled through him.
"Looking for the ideal person on whom to mould your features! Finding the one person whose image would have the most effect on me and Ninian."
"Please, Jhond, please believe me when I say I didn't want it to be like this." She reached out a hand to him, but he ignored it, even taking a step back...he had no desire for her touch. Her breath hitched as she continued, "I know you'll never believe me now, but I really do have feelings for you. I...I tried so hard to fight its influence, to warn you of its manipulations. I wanted you to see the real me, to know who I am and not the twisted image presented to you by that evil..." She paused, and Jhond sensed she was trying to get control of her emotions, but he had little sympathy when his own emotions felt so raw.
After a few moments, she went on, "I understand your reaction was colored by how you felt about whomever it is I resemble. I wish it had been me you saw, me you took an interest in." Jhond closed his eyes and heard a slight sob.
"I'm sorry, so sorry," Remelin murmured and then he heard her move away.
He opened his eyes to see her seated across the table, her head dropped onto her crossed arms on its surface. He sighed as he regained some equilibrium. He glanced up to meet the gazes of both Ninian and Amired. They both looked stressed, and perhaps Amired even appeared a little embarrassed. Jhond looked away again. What was he supposed to do? He accepted that Remelin had no choice. She was as trapped by the entity as it now was by Jhond's shield, but he still found it difficult to forgive her.
Yet was that fair? The physical resemblance she wore to Gallia may have been false, but the young woman he interacted with, whose company he enjoyed, who made him laugh, for whom he had been concerned...that was all Remelin. It was Remelin he had kissed, but could he be sure Remelin had truly kissed him of her own free will? He looked in her direction and was unable to see her face, still buried in her arms, but he could sense her distress all too clearly.
"Go wash your face, Remelin," Jhond said softly. "I know washing away the tears won't remove the pain, but it's a starting point. A little time alone might help us all come to terms with this."
She looked up at him then, her face blotchy, her expression distraught, but she nodded and got slowly to her feet.
"Perhaps we can meet up for dinner later?" Ninian added gently.
"Yes, yes, good idea," Jhond said.
"Come," Amired said, taking Remelin's arm and leading her out of the cabin.
* * * *
Ninian knew how upset Jhond was by what they'd just discovered. He and Amired had been fooled, too, but for them it only concerned a lost memory. For Jhond, it had become about a present-day emotion.
Jhond sat down heavily, and Ninian felt it was best to bring him back to the task at hand. "What now?" he asked.
Jhond looked confused when he met Ninian's gaze.
"Are we going to sail in circles forever?" Ninian asked, a faint smile on his face.
Jhond squared his shoulders, though his expression suggested he was still thinking over the discovery about Remelin. "No. I need to destroy the entity once and for all, and for that, we need to return to Garileon."