Chapter 18
Isla
The morning passed in a dreamy daze. The memories of our Christmas Day together were still so fresh in my mind that going through the process of packing and driving to the airport almost seemed to happen without me even understanding what was going on. Luckily, Adam was there to make sure all the small details were taken care of.
I knew it was too soon to say anything definite, but it had probably been one of the most magical Christmases I’d ever experienced. The delicious food, the corny-but-oh-so-good movies, the cozy cuddling…and, of course, the mind-blowing sex.
I couldn’t get over how good the lovemaking had been. Some first-time awkwardness could probably have been expected, but there was nothing of the sort. It was like our bodies were made for one another. Each session was better than the last, and by the time evening rolled around and it was time for our nightcap, I was so happily exhausted that all I could do was fall into what might’ve been the most restful sleep of my life.
All of this made Adam’s strange silence on the plane even more curious. At first I’d thought nothing of it, figuring that he had a lot on his mind with what had gone down at the factory. I didn’t blame him one bit as he’d essentially told the head of the company to chill out and wait. I’d been around enough high-level men and women to know if there was one thing they didn’t like doing, it was waiting.
But as the third hour of the flight rolled around, I began to think there was something up. He’d barely said a thing to me the entire flight, let alone try anything physical with me. In the back of my head I’d been wondering if he was going to enlist me in the mile-high club, but as time had gone on, I started to wonder if he was mad at me for some reason.
Finally, as he began to prepare himself a nightcap, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I needed to know what was up, and I need to know right then.
“Adam,” I said, tension forming in my belly. “You okay over there? You’ve been kinda quiet the entire flight.”
He let out a slow sigh, one that suggested that I’d just broached a topic that he’d had on his mind.
“Something to drink?” he asked.
I wasn’t much for anxiety drinking, but at that moment I needed something to calm my nerves.
“Sure,” I said. “Whatever you’re having.”
He nodded and prepared another drink. Both in hand, he came over to where I was seated and gave me mine.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about,” he said.
Uh-oh. I wasn’t exactly the most seasoned person when it came to relationships, but even I knew that this wasn’t a good thing to hear. My gut tightened once again, and a chill ran through my limbs.
“Yeah?” I asked, my voice small and weak-sounding. “What’s up?”
I sipped my drink, having a feeling I was going to need it.
Adam looked down for a moment, as if trying to make sure he was about to say the exact right words in the exact right way he needed to say them. It was strange seeing him this way. He’d been nothing but confidence and charm this whole trip, and now he seemed like he was conflicted, almost unsure of himself.
Finally, he turned his attention back to me.
“What happened in Rio…” he said.
“What about it?”
The words shot out of my mouth, like I was hoping to get the conversation over with as soon as possible.
“I think…I think it needs to stay in Rio.”
And there it was. The words hit me like I’d just run face-first into a brick wall. One more sip of my drink, and I spoke.
“You mean…you don’t want anything else to happen between us?”
He nodded gravely.
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
The way he was speaking frustrated me—just declarative statements and no explanations. Well, if he was going to drop this on me, I needed to know why.
“How come?” I asked. “It seemed like…I don’t know…like we had a really good time together.”
“Of course we did,” he said. “But there are, ah, extenuating circumstances that you don’t know about.”
Such a clinical term. I didn’t like it one bit.
“What kind of circumstances?” I asked. “Please don’t tell me you have a girlfriend or something like that.”
I knew I sounded paranoid, but it was hardly the most outlandish thing I could think of. A man like Adam being single was already strange enough to me. It’d make a certain kind of sick sense.
He sat back on the couch, again taking on the expression of looking like he didn’t know quite what to say.
“Have you heard of my…reputation? Of my life outside of the corporate world?”
I thought about it. After a moment I recalled a couple of conversations I’d had with coworkers back when Adam had first gotten brought on, about how he used to be something of a cad when he was younger.
Oh, shit. Was I in the process of getting loved and left?
“Um, just a few things here or there,” I said, trying to be diplomatic. “About how you liked to…date a lot.”
A small smile formed on his lips, but not one that suggested he was happy or found what I’d said funny. If anything, he looked embarrassed.
“That’s one way to put it.”
He took a sip of his drink.
“Anyway,” he went on. “When Edward made the decision to bring me on as CEO, he and I had a sit-down about that very subject. He told me in no uncertain terms that sort of behavior was not to occur if I were to work at his company. He didn’t want the risk of scandal, and he didn’t want to have their new CEO on the front pages of gossip websites with a different girl on his arm every week.”
“That’s…understandable,” I said, still not liking at all where this conversation was going.
“He told me what he expected, and I agreed. I then found out that this wasn’t simply going to be a private matter between me and Edward. No—the board was in agreement with him and they wanted something more…ironclad.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I had to make a formal agreement with them,” he said. “Make it official that part of my employment there would be that I refrain from—”
“Dating?” I asked. “They told you that you couldn’t date?”
He shook his head.
“No. Nothing that severe. They simply told me that any sort of…fraternization with any of my subordinates wouldn’t be tolerated in the slightest. You understand how the climate is right now with that sort of thing, how much of a risk of a scandal it could have.”
“Of course,” I said, doing my best to hold back the sadness and frustration building inside of me.
“So,” he went on. “Naturally, you see where this is going. What you and I had over Christmas was great—better than great, really. Amazing, actually. But it can’t go any further than that.”
Something began to dawn on me, something that he wasn’t saying but was strongly implied.
I went for it.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “You’re telling me that this is something you knew about in advance, right? I mean, it’s not like you had a brief memory lapse and just plum forgot the fact that you’re not supposed to be hooking up with people you work with.”
The expression on his face suggested he knew where I was going with this.
“So you went ahead and did what you did knowing in the back of your mind that you weren’t supposed to. You knew the entire day that it wasn’t going to last more than the trip, but you conveniently held that back from me.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s not like that.”
“It’s not?” I asked. “Because it sure as hell sounds like that to me. All of it—the dinner, the room service, the gifts, every last bit of it. You did it because you wanted to charm me for long enough to get into my pants, planning the whole time to drop this news on me on the flight home so you could get back to business as freaking usual.”
“No,” he repeated. “You’re misunderstanding what happened.”
“Okay,” I said. “Explain to me exactly what I’m ‘misunderstanding.’”
That thoughtful look formed on his face again, the one that made it clear he was trying to weigh his words carefully. Another sip, another deep breath, and he spoke.
“It’s not that I was plotting or scheming or anything like that. Yes, I knew that I wasn’t supposed to get involved with employees. In fact, it was on my mind the whole time.”
“But you did it anyway,” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “I did. But I wasn’t thinking ‘oh, I’ll just make love to her and toss her aside.’ It was more that I…got caught up in things.”
“Uh-huh,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I tried,” he said. “I really did. I tried to resist your charm, your beauty, your laugh—your everything. But the more time I spent with you, the more difficult that became. And that morning when I was dancing with you, holding you, I felt the last barrier of my defenses give way.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me about this agreement with the board beforehand,” I cut in. “Figured that was some minor detail you’d get to later.”
“I didn’t want to ruin the mood,” he said. “Something was happening between us. What would have killed things faster than bringing an agreement with the board into it?”
He had a point. It wasn’t exactly the sexiest topic of conversation. But still!
“I had a right to know,” I said, still crossing my arms. “A right to know that this thing had an expiration date on it that you knew about.”
“Would that have even mattered?” he asked. “Isla, neither of us could resist one another. The only difference would’ve been that we’d have both known we were doing something we shouldn’t have instead of just me.”
I opened my mouth to speak but stopped myself. Maybe he was right.
But that wasn’t the point. He’d still screwed me over, and I was furious.
“I had a right to know,” I said. “You hid something important from me.”
He let the air out of his lungs as he nodded in agreement.
“Maybe you’re right,” he said.
“There’s no ‘maybe’ about it.”
“But like I said,” he went on. “I was caught up in the moment. You…cast a spell on me, Isla. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“Very sweet,” I said ironically. “Probably another lie. You’ve already shown a talent for telling them.”
My words might’ve been harsh, but damned if they weren’t true. And the pained look on Adam’s face suggested that he knew I had him dead to rights.
“It’s not a lie,” he said. “And I don’t know what else to say other than to emphatically tell you that it’s not.”
“Well, that’s the thing about being a liar,” I said. “Once you get the reputation, it sticks with you. And there’s no coming back from it.”
There was something else about Adam as we spoke. At the start of the conversation, he’d clearly let some sort of barrier down. I could tell that he’d been uncharacteristically flustered, however briefly. But as the conversation went on, that faded and he went right back to his usual calm, composed self.
Instead of admiring it, however, it irritated me. It felt less like someone that he’d spent an entire day making love to, someone who “cast a spell” on him, and more like some business client that he wanted to finish up with so he could get on with his day.
“I suppose you’re right about that,” he said. “But I hate to hear it, Isla. I’d hoped that we’d still be able to be friends after all this.”
Friends. As if I hadn’t been insulted enough already—now he wanted to be pals or something? It was taking all the restraint I had not to blow up on him then and there.
“Why would I even want to be friends with someone like you?” I asked, my voice coming out in a snarl. “Someone who lies, someone who uses people.”
Still, that professional attitude was there. I wondered if I was going to have to launch my damn glass across the room to get some kind of normal, human reaction out of him.
“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this,” he said. “I was really hoping you and I would be on good terms after the trip. After all, we did have fun, didn’t we?”
We did, but that was beside the point. And not a chance in hell I was going to agree with him on it.
He finished his drink.
“And I hate to bring this up, but I’m afraid it’s necessary.”
He rolled the empty glass in his hands as I waited for whatever the hell was next.
“None of this can get to the board. You might think I’m just worried about my own ass here, but I’m thinking of you, too.”
“Me?”
“That’s right,” he went on. “So, for your trouble, and for your silence, I’m willing to offer you a payout. Call it a Christmas bonus.”
I was appalled. I couldn’t believe that on top of all this, he was hoping to throw a little cash my way and treat this like some problem he could write a check about and forget. It was infuriating. At that moment I didn’t even want to see Adam, to be in the same room with him—let alone the same airplane.
“Keep your money,” I spat. “I don’t want it. You want me to keep quiet about it? Fine—we can pretend that it never happened. In fact, I’d probably like it better that way.”
“You don’t mean that, Isla,” he said.
I couldn’t tell if he was hurt or just putting on another show. Truth be told, I didn’t really care.
“I’m going to bed,” I said. “And I want you to stay as far away from me as possible until this plane lands. And then when we’re back at work, you’ll get your silence, don’t you worry.”
By that point I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes. I knew I needed to get out of there as soon as possible if I wasn’t going to turn into a sobbing mess.
“Isla…” he said one more time, now sounding like there was possibly genuine sadness in his voice.
But I didn’t care. I slammed my drink down onto the coffee table and stormed off to the bedroom, shutting the door hard behind me.
Once I was alone, I let it all out, planting my face into the pillow on the bed and sobbing like I hadn’t sobbed in a long time.
Asshole. Jerk. Prick.
A thought occurred to me as I laid there weeping, one I couldn’t shake—I didn’t want to go back to San Francisco. I wanted to be away from Adam, away from Corliss, away from everything that had put me in this state.
Moving. It sounded crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like the only sensible option. I had to get away from the city, start fresh somewhere new. The idea made me feel…good, if only for a moment.
But despite this rush of optimism, we were only a few hours into a long flight. Not knowing what else to do, I pulled off my clothes and turned off the light, settling in for what I knew would be one of the most restless nights of my life.
Chapter 19
Adam
January
The New Year had started, but all I could think about was Christmas. Specifically, how I’d ruined everything.
It was still so hard to believe how badly I’d handled the situation. Isla was hurt, and I’d offered to pay her off like she was a business partner with whom I was severing a contract. It was amazing that she didn’t smash the glass she’d been drinking from over my head. If she had, I’d have probably accepted it as something I’d deserved.
Hell, maybe it would’ve knocked some sense into me.
But what else could I have done? My reckless behavior had put the both of us in a bad situation, one that required me to act in a way that I could charitably describe as “regrettable.” If I hadn’t told her what my situation had been, the consequences could’ve been terrible for us both.
Truth be told, I was only really worried about Isla. If the board found out what had happened, there would be co
nsequences, sure. But they would be consequences that I earned by going against our agreement. Isla, on the other hand, didn’t know what she was getting into. Anything that happened to her would be entirely on me, and I wasn’t about to have that.
I sipped my coffee, long since gone lukewarm, as I gazed out of my office window onto the city. It was the first day back from the holiday break, and I’d just gotten word that Edward had arrived. We’d only spoken in terse text messages since my trip to Brazil, and I’d gotten the impression that whatever he wanted to say, he wanted to say it in person.
Normally, he would’ve come right back for business matters. But he’d been abroad on holiday with his family. And more than that, I knew Edward well enough to know that when he felt a matter was of grave importance, he always wanted to be there in person to deal with it. The man never jumped on the technology bandwagon—only face-to-face would do for him.
I pushed thoughts of Edward and the board out of my mind only for Isla, as she’d done so many times over the last few days, to take their place. It was impossible to stop thinking about her, impossible to stop thinking of her laugh, her smile, her personality. And the fact that I’d ruined everything between us only made the memory more bitter.
It was the old thing about how trying to make yourself not think of something only made you want to think about it more. But with Isla, I knew it wasn’t just some quirk of the mind. It was the fact that I…felt things for her, things that I hadn’t felt for a woman in a long time, maybe ever. And it had all come on so suddenly. One moment I’d been standing in the elevator ready to start another day of work, the next I was speaking to the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life.
And only a few short days after that we were making love.
The thought stung me exactly how it had before every time I entertained it. Sure, Isla’s reputation around the company was likely safe from any scandal, but it had come at a great cost. Our friendship, or relationship, or whatever one might’ve called it, was over. She’d made it clear in no uncertain terms that she wanted nothing to do with me. And I couldn’t blame her in the slightest.
Twins for Christmas Page 10