It wasn’t simply an attempt to reconnect either. He was asking me to travel with him to Rio, the place where this had all begun. I couldn’t even begin to think about how I was going to respond.
“Okay,” I said. “He wants to see you again. And he knows nothing about the babies.”
It was a dilemma, all right. Apparently, exactly like me, he’d been thinking about me constantly since we’d gone our separate ways. I’d gone all the way to freaking LA to get away from him, but that didn’t seem to have worked for either of us. We’d both spent the year wondering the same thing—whether or not we should see one another again. And despite me being the one who was mad at him, he’d reached out first.
Mad at him. Was I even still mad at him? I knew I had every right to be. He’d pulled some scummy shit and hadn’t offered much in the way of an apology. But I’d been thinking about it over the last few months, and it was hard for me to not even consider looking at it from his perspective.
What if he hadn’t been BS’ing me? I’d assumed that Adam had lied and had planned to ditch me from the get-go. But maybe that wasn’t the case? Had he really gotten so caught up in the moment with me that he’d forgotten about that he wasn’t supposed to do what he’d done?
I supposed it was possible. And during our conversation, despite how cold he’d been, there had been moments when I’d seen through his icy façade at what looked to be a hurt man doing something he wished he didn’t have to.
Of course, there was also the matter of the babies. I’d sworn to go it alone, but was that really the right thing to do? Not only was I denying Adam the chance to know his own children, but I was also denying the girls the chance to know their father. What would I even say when they were old enough to ask about him—“Dad’s alive and well, but I’m kind of pissed off at him so that’s why I never let you meet?”
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was doing the wrong thing. Adam was reaching out to me, and not taking the offer to reconnect with the father of my girls didn’t seem like an option. Sure, he might still try to buy me off, not want anything to do with them, but that was a risk I was willing to take.
I opened the computer back up and began typing up my email reply. But halfway through the first sentence, I closed it.
All of a sudden, I had a much better idea.
Chapter 26
Adam
The heavy sadness that had taken hold of me the moment I stepped onto the plane was still there as we touched down in Rio.
I felt hopeless, lost, like a plan I’d been making for months had just been undone. As the plane slowed to a stop, I took out my phone one last time and checked my email, knowing that the odds of there being an email or call or text were slim. After all, I’d been checking nearly every half hour.
It’s time to accept it, I thought as the plane came to a stop on the tarmac. You tried to bring her back into your life, but she didn’t want anything to do with you. Nothing to do but live with it.
My night’s sleep had been restless, and I was hardly in the frame of mind to do what needed to be done—the whole reason I’d come to Rio. As silly as it might’ve sounded, part of me had been hoping for a repeat of the last time I’d been here with work and fun and love with Isla.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
I stepped off the plane into the Rio air, warm and sweet and familiar. At least the weather was pleasant. The car awaited me, and after a forty-minute drive I was back at the hotel, the same one where Isla and I had stayed all the way back during Christmas. But it was only September, and there was no festive mood in the air. Business as usual in Rio.
I checked in and was soon on my way up to the suite, the bellhop following at my side. The master suite—the one I’d stayed in before—had been booked by someone else. One of the grand suites remained, and as I held the keycard, I considered how the number seemed strangely familiar.
As soon as I opened the door, I realized why—it was the suite I’d booked for Isla. I was going to be staying in the very same room where we’d spent our Christmas together.
The realization made my chest tighten. All around the room were reminders of back then—the bed where we’d made love, the couch where we’d cuddled, the table where we’d eaten our Christmas breakfast. It was all there, as though it were mocking me with the memory.
As I unpacked, my phone lit up over on the nearby table. My heart leapt, but as I snatched the phone off the table, I saw that it was merely a text from Pedro, the factory manager. A simple text sent to confirm that I’d arrived and was still on for our meeting later that day.
I felt foolish, as though my reaction to the text was a perfect summation of how I’d been behaving—focused entirely on Isla and not on the work I was there to do.
Get your head in the game, Adam, I thought. You’re the CEO and here you are constantly checking for texts like a heartsick high-schooler.
My mental pep talk worked to focus me, and after a quick shower and change of clothes, I was ready to head to the factory and begin the task at hand.
Nine long hours later I was back in the suite, ready to strip out of my clothes, take a long soak in the tub, and get some sleep so I could do it all over again the next day.
Unlike the quick stop-in when I’d been here before, the day had been long and strenuous. Pedro, his team and I worked our butts off going over the data I’d brought, figuring out how to best implement it, and interviewing workers for their perspective on the situation at the factory. I was determined to meet with every single one, to know the people there whose jobs were on the line and look them in the eye.
The next day I was back at the factory and repeating it all. Around eight p.m. I arrived back at the suite, showered, and hit the hay. The next day was the same, and then the next. By day five I was certain we were making some serious progress, and as difficult as it was, it was a welcome distraction from the Isla situation. And not only that, it was looking like I’d be able to get the changes implemented before I left. That meant I’d simply have to head back and wait to see if the bottom line had been affected in the way I was sure it was.
But it was strange. On the way back from day six of the factory, a thought occurred to me that I’d never considered before.
What the hell was I doing it all for?
Sure, there were jobs to be saved and productivity to be increased. And I was damn good at my work. But what was the point? Was I really busting my ass for a little more money in the bank? A slightly nicer house? Maybe someday to have Edward’s office? Was that really what all of these years of making a name for myself had been about?
But to what end? Where was I going to be in ten years, twenty? Even Edward had a family, a life beyond Corliss. I had…nothing. I’d go home to my penthouse apartment, maybe have a drink or two, and start the next day at work. I’d been making waves as the new CEO, really kicking ass. But so what? Say I had Edward’s position someday, that he turned the company over to me. Would I simply immerse myself in my work even more than I already had?
I’d never thought like this before. I’d always been so happy and eager and enthused about working. But at that moment, other than the idea of doing some real good through saving the jobs in Rio, I was questioning it all.
I decided I needed a walk to clear my head. After freshening up I was soon down on the city streets, aimlessly strolling around the still-bustling roads. Before too long I found myself in familiar territory, the old parts of town that Isla and I had seen during the holidays. I spotted the family-run restaurant where we’d had our meal together. Briefly I considered stopping in for a bite, but I had no appetite.
Walking on, I found the church where the mule incident had gone down. I smiled as I recalled getting thrown onto my ass right before watching Isla handle the animal with expert skill. But the smile soon faded, and I found myself wishing she was there with me.
By the time I reached the town square where we’d watched the carolers, I’d decided that e
nough was enough. I couldn’t believe how much the familiar sights had affected me, how much they’d pulled me back to that Christmas as though no time had passed at all.
I was ready to go back to the hotel, but the thought of sleeping once again in that same bed sent another pulse of sadness and longing through me. Instead I stopped for a drink, hoping that my trick of a glass of something stiff before bed would do me some good.
After my drink I had a decent buzz, but the booze had only brought my mood down even further. Tension gripped me as I realized that I truly had no way to cope with the feeling of emptiness that had taken hold of me. What else could I do? Return to the bar and drink until I passed out? Talk about a temporary solution.
Not knowing what else to do, I headed back. About the same moment I arrived in front of the hotel, a taxi cab sharply pulled into the road, nearly clipping my leg. I turned around, ready to chew the driver out.
But what I saw caused me to stop short.
A familiar figure stepped out of the cab.
The one person I wanted to see.
It was her.
Isla.
Chapter 27
Isla
Adam rushed toward me, the look on his face the exact expression of excitement that I’d hoped to see, the one I’d pictured in my mind during the long flight. His arms were outstretched, and he appeared ready to embrace me.
But then his eyes moved down, snapping onto the belly that was revealed as I closed the cab door.
The driver took off, and Adam stopped short, just a few feet from me.
“Oh…oh, my God,” he said, his green eyes wide and his mouth dropping open as soon as he’d finished his words. “You’re…”
“Pregnant,” I said, finishing the sentence. “I’m pregnant.”
Neither of us said a word for a long moment, the soft din of the city washing over us.
“We should…go up to my room,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said. “Good call.”
The silence returned as the two of us made our way through the lobby. The elevator ride up was as quiet, and during the brief trip I worried that he was thinking exactly what I’d feared he’d be thinking seeing me in that state.
We stepped into the room and a wave of familiarity hit me as I realized it was the same one I’d stayed in before, the one where we’d had the Christmas that I couldn’t stop thinking about.
“It’s…” I said.
“It is,” he replied. “I didn’t request it, though. It’s what they assigned to me.”
He flicked on the lights and stepped over to the minibar.
“Can I…get you something to drink?”
“Thanks,” I said. “But, you know.”
I placed my hand on my belly.
“Ah,” he said. “That’s right. You’re…”
Again he trailed off before finishing his words. The fact that he was having trouble even saying “pregnant” made me tense up. Had I come all this way only to have him tell me that he didn’t want to be a father?
Adam opened a single-serving bottle of whiskey and poured himself a glass.
“I already had my nightcap,” he said. “But I think the circumstances are deserving of one more.”
Was this another bad sign? Was he so upset by the pregnancy that he needed to drink to deal with it?
He sat down next to me, drink in hand.
“You look like you’re pretty far along,” he said.
I nodded.
“Almost nine months,” I said. “Due in two weeks.”
He glanced away for a moment, as if trying to do some mental math.
“That means…”
“They’re yours,” I finished.
“Wow.”
He was stunned into silence. The always unflappable Adam Forde was, for the first time since I’d known him, speechless.
He took a sip of his drink, and as he held it in his mouth before swallowing, an expression of realization took hold of his features.
“Wait a minute,” he said. “Did you say ‘they’?”
Oh. Minor detail.
“They,” I said. “It’s…twins.”
“Twins.”
“Two girls. Both healthy and, as far as I can tell, happy.”
I placed my hand on my belly again and glanced down.
“I hope they’re happy, at least. Probably nice and relaxing in there.”
“This is all…this is all so much.”
I needed him to say something, anything that wasn’t simply him being stunned.
“Adam,” I said. “Say something. Tell me what you think of all this.”
He seemed to realize how cagey he’d been. Another sip of his whiskey, and he spoke.
“It’s…incredible,” he said. “I’m half-convinced this is some kind of dream that I’m going to wake up from. But it’s not—you’re really here. And you’re carrying my children.”
I nodded.
“I was going to respond to your email and fly down with you, but…I was worried.”
“Worried?” he asked. “What were you worried about?”
“I was worried that you wouldn’t want to deal with any of this,” I said. “I had this nightmare scenario in the back of my mind where you just cut me a check and told me that you didn’t want to be a part of our lives.”
He snapped his eyes onto me, looking shocked and hurt.
“What?” he asked. “Why on earth would you think that I’d…”
He trailed off, and right then he seemed to get it.
“Oh. Because I’d done that same thing already.”
“Don’t get to be CEO without having a little bit of brains between your ears,” I said, giving him a small smile to let him know I was only joking around.
“I have my moments,” he said, matching my smile.
Then he straightened up, his expression becoming more serious.
“Isla,” he said. “I know that I acted like a real ass to you, but never in a million years would I ever throw you and our children aside like that. I know you haven’t had the highest opinion of me, but you have to understand that simply wouldn’t be an option.”
“You…can understand why I would think that, right?” I asked. “You seemed so eager to write me a check and push me away.”
“And every damn day since then I’ve regretted doing that,” he said. “It was the biggest mistake of my life.”
Another look of realization.
“Who’s been helping you this whole time?” he asked. “Who’s been taking care of you?”
“No one,” I said weakly.
“You mean you’ve been carrying twins for the last nine months and you’ve been…doing it all by yourself?”
“I figured that I’d need to learn to rely on just me. I’m going to be a single mother, after all.”
“No,” he said, his voice as stern as I’ve ever heard it. “No, you’re absolutely not. I’m in your life now, whether you want me to be or not. And I’m going to make sure these girls get everything they need. You want to be independent? Too bad. These girls are my responsibility now, too.”
Relief washed over me, relief like I hadn’t felt since I found out I was pregnant. Seeing Adam talk like that, hearing the passion in his voice, feeling deep in my bones that he was telling the truth… I almost couldn’t believe it.
“Isla,” he said. “It’s killing me to know you’ve gone what you’ve gone through all alone. I know I’ve done some terrible things, things that you’d be well within your rights to cut me out of your life for. And there’s nothing I can do to make things right but tell you right here, right now, that I’m willing to be there for you and the girls. If you want me to leave it to you to do on your own without me, it will hurt worse than anything. But I’ll understand.”
He reached over and took my hand, wrapping both of his around it. As he regarded me there was something in his eyes that’d I’d never seen before—longing and fear and hope all at the same time.
“The choice is yours and yours alone. I’ve said my piece and made how I feel as clear as I can. Now…I need to know where I stand. So…what do you say?”
I was quiet for a long moment, choosing my words carefully. After all, what I did or did not say at that moment would change the course of my life forever.
Chapter 28
Adam
After all I’d been through over the course of my life, nothing had even come close to making me feel the way I did looking upon that beautiful, pregnant woman in front of me. She had a power over me that I couldn’t resist. I’d have to be a fool to think I could.
And right then it was total power. I’d said all I could, and everything was in her hands. If Isla were to tell me to screw off and never speak to her again, I’d have to accept it.
My eyes stayed on Isla as she took a slow, deep breath and spoke.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” I asked.
“Yes.”
It was all I needed to hear. Without even thinking about it, I threw my arms around her and pulled her close, the feeling of her body against mine so wonderful that I could hardly stand it.
When I released her and looked upon her face, there were tears welling in her eyes, ready to trickle down her cheeks. Though I didn’t want to tear myself away from her for even a moment, I forced myself up to grab the box of tissues from the bathroom and bring it to her.
Isla took one and wiped her eyes. I hated to see her cry, even if it was out of happiness and relief. The thought that I’d likely been the source of more than a few tears as a result of my thoughtless behavior hit me like a knife to the gut. But I put it out of my mind and focused on her.
“Then it’s settled,” I said, trying to contain the happiness that felt as though it might burst out of me. “After I’m done here in Rio, we’ll go back to San Francisco. You can move into my place right away—don’t worry about your belongings or anything like that. I’ll take care of it all. You said you’re due in two weeks?”
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