by Lauren Wood
“What?”
“We can’t do this. You are my boss.”
I knew that the fact was supposed to matter to me, but it really didn’t matter at all. “So?”
I wanted more and I moved closer as she backed away. Her hand went up and I didn’t know what she was doing until a cab slowed down next to us. “I am going back to the hotel Rick. I think I have had enough fun for one day.”
Like that she was gone and I was left on the side of the canal looking at the car’s brake lights. What had just happened? No one ever refused me, so why did the one I wanted most deny me?
Chapter 11
Claire
I had to get out of there before I did something that I was going to regret. Not only was Rick my boss, but he was the kind of guy that I had to stay away from. He was a heartbreaker and I didn’t even want to go down that route again. Maybe I had gone a little too different with my sister’s dress. She had been right about what it would do to Rick. As soon as I seen the way Rick looked at me, I knew that I had him right where I wanted him. But then I wasn’t able to deal with how turned on he was.
My hands were actually shaking when I got into the cab and my lips tingled from his where he had kissed me. It was like nothing I had ever felt before and I was sure if all kissing felt like that, I wouldn’t have waited so long for it. Was it only with Rick that I would feel this way? It didn’t make sense to be so drawn to a man that I knew was so bad for me.
The problem was what Rick made me think of. I wanted to know what his mouth felt like on me and what would be after that. His hands were so large and roughened. Everything about him was so manly that I wanted more. I wanted more of his arms around me so close, but I knew that it wasn’t meant to be. I had to forget about my boss and it was no easier to do when he wasn’t around.
I paid the cab driver for the ride and looked up at the hotel with a little apprehension. I knew that I was going to be sleeping right next door to Rick and I didn’t like the idea of it at all. This dress, this night, everything that had happened in the last couple of hours had complicated everything. I wanted to go upstairs and forget that any of this was happening at all.
The guy in the elevator smiled at me and I smiled back, but I was thinking of what the weekend was going to bring. This was Prague and I should have been ecstatic to be here. The place was beautiful and I would learn a lot from the conferences, but I wouldn’t have come if I would have known that it was going to bring up a host of such confusing emotions. It was just hard to cope with it all.
I went back to my room and locked the door. I didn’t think someone was going to come in or anything like that, but it made me feel safer in such a strange place. I should have waited for Rick. That was a mistake and I hoped that he didn’t take it the wrong way.
Not wanting to think about any of it, I turned my phone on with some music and started a bath. I poured all of the free shampoo into the bath and made it start to bubble up. I didn’t know anything that a bubble bath couldn’t fix and I needed some relaxation.
Just getting in it, the water was finally off and all I could hear was the low jazz playing from my phone. It was a few seconds of bliss before I heard a loud knock at the door that startled me and made me jump a little bit. I was about to ask who it was when I heard Rick’s voice on the other side.
My body just kind of stopped moving and I even breathed a little slower like he could somehow hear me from the hallway. I knew he couldn’t, but I was desperately afraid that he would. I couldn’t bear to see him, I really couldn’t. I knew what he was going to want and I didn’t have the energy to deny him again. It was hard enough walking away last time. If that cab wouldn’t have been driving past, I don’t think I would be here now.
I shuddered to think about what would have happened and how awkward it would have been when we got back to the states. It was easy to see that I would have been head over heels in love with Rick and he would just kick me to the curb like he did all of his other flings. The man had quite a reputation that everyone in the office liked to talk about.
This is what I reminded myself when I heard him say my name again. No matter how much I wanted to open the door, I knew that it was only going to end in heartbreak for me, something I wasn’t too excited to feel.
“Come on Claire I know you are in there. This has gotten out of hand and I think we should talk about it.”
There was silence for the longest time and I almost thought he had left, but then I heard his knuckles on the door again and I realized that he just wasn’t giving up. The man was refusing to give up and I didn’t know what to do. What if he went downstairs and got a key from the front desk? He had paid for the room after all, so it didn’t seem that farfetched that they would give it to him. What if he already had one?
My eyes went to the front door that I could see from the opened bathroom door. I stared at it like it was suddenly going to burst open and I almost wanted it to do that so I would finally be faced with it all. I wanted to get it out in the open, even though I was scared to death of what that would bring. I felt many feelings when I was around my boss, but most of those feelings were of fear. I feared what Rick made me want to do more than anything else. It was things that I knew were wrong, but I still wanted to do them.
“I am going to be right next door if you want to talk Claire. It would be better if we talked this out instead of ignoring what happened.”
It certainly wasn’t going to be better if I went to the door, because I knew in the end that we wouldn’t end up talking. I would end up giving into whatever he wanted and by the look that he had given me, I knew exactly what it was going to be. I knew what Rick wanted and that I did as well is what scared me. The only thing more terrifying than that was the fact that I wanted to finally be with a man in that way. Not just any man, Rick. It was something that I didn’t want to want and I don’t think even if I tried to, I would be able to change it. I was drawn to the man, there was no other way around it.
So instead of saying anything or making it known that I even heard him at all, I stayed as still as I could in the tub. He wouldn’t have heard me moving around, but I was still waiting and wanting to hear more. When after what seemed like hours, I heard his footsteps walking the short distance to his room and the door shutting behind him, I was finally able to breathe.
Only then did I realize that I was holding my breath. I felt silly, but there was really nothing I could do about it. My only saving grace was that at least he couldn’t see what it was he was doing to me.
I closed my eyes and thought about the kiss that had numbed out my lips and started all of the thoughts spiraling out of control in my head. My fingers moved to my lips and I felt the softness of my own skin. He had felt so good and the way he had touched me ever so softly was something that I would never forget, no matter how badly that I wanted to.
Touching myself on my neck and shoulders, I wanted to believe that they were his hands and his fingertips running along my skin. By the end of the bath, I was turned on to no end and my nipples were rock hard when I got out.
Looking at the large mirror that took up one whole side of the bathroom wall, I could see that my eyes were actually sparkling. My wet, blonde hair stuck to my sides, but I couldn’t hide how hard my nipples were or how much I wanted to see Rick. What if I just went over there right now, with just this towel on? I had to wonder what it was that he would do. Would he send me away or send me to another level of pleasure that his eyes seemed to silently promise?
I giggled at the thought and shook my head. I wasn’t going to do anything of the sort, even if I wanted to. There was no way that I would come back from that.
Instead I went to sleep and tried my best to forget it all. I had to keep it together because we still had the weekend to spend together. It was clear that Rick wasn’t going to be good, but one of us had to be responsible and like always, it was going to be me.
***
The next morning, it was hard to really look
at him. He came by to pick me up for breakfast, something that we had talked about doing beforehand. But that was before he kissed me and everything took a turn for the worst.
“Good morning Claire.”
“Morning boss.” I was about to ask him how he slept, but I really didn’t think that I wanted the answer for that. I had a feeling that he slept about as good as I did and that is not very good at all. I had been up all night, thinking about what he was doing on the other side of the wall.
I was convinced that I should have opened the door and just found out what happened, but in the light of day, I am glad that I didn’t. I didn’t want to be the girl that slept her way to the top, even though essentially I really wanted to.
“So how was your first evening here? I tried to tell you good night, but I don’t know if you were in here or not.”
I didn’t say one way or another if I was. I started to talk about how pretty Prague was. Glad that he wasn’t bringing up the kiss or the late night knocking, I was hoping that we could put this all behind us. We really needed to if we were going to continue working together.
Asking what the plan was for the day, I was a little surprised how full our day was going to be. For a prize, this trip seemed to have a lot of work involved. After breakfast we had to go to a couple of conferences and then there were speakers that we planned to see. I didn’t think there was going to much time for anything else and after thinking about it for a minute, I was actually glad for that. At least now I would be able to keep my mind off of the mistakes that I had almost made.
“Where did you go?”
“Huh?”
“You, you were talking one minute and staring off in the distance the next.”
I apologized, embarrassed to no end that he had noticed. I didn’t want him to see how he affected me, so I just blamed it on jetlag and anything else that I could think of. The last thing that I needed was for him to know how hot and bothered he had made me. It was hard to deny, but I was going to have to, scared that I would regret giving him more kind of power over me.
“Well don’t get too stressed out while you are here. This is supposed to be fun.”
I agreed, but I didn’t feel like I was having much fun. I was going to be around him all of the time for the next couple of days and I still wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to deal with that or not. I really just wanted to leave Prague behind. Nothing good was going to come from my time in Prague, I was sure of it. If I wasn’t careful, I could make the worst mistake of my life.
Chapter 12
Claire
After breakfast, I went back to the room to change into something more appropriate. But I realized that Amber had way too much involvement in what I was wearing over here because everything I had was too sexy. Now that I had gotten Rick to see me as a woman and not as his employee, I wasn’t quite sure if that was the way to go about it. Now I knew what would happen and I wasn’t ready for another emotion filled day like before.
I didn’t take much time to get ready, finally settling on a pencil skirt that was a bit too tight and a button-up silk blouse that was a little too tight for my bust on the top. Since Amber and me were the same size, it stood to reason that a lot of it had to do with the way she liked things to fit. While she was trying to get the attention, I think I preferred more to be ignored a little more. It was all I could think of to explain why my chest was about to pop out of this shirt. What was Rick going to think?
When I knocked on his room door a little while later and I saw the darkness sweep into his eyes, it was easy to see that he liked what he saw. The need and desire was back in his dark depths and I was left looking down, unable to meet his gaze for long at all.
“You look great Claire. When I had said to step it up, you really did.”
I thanked him, but I didn’t look up at all. I just really couldn’t meet his gaze when he was looking at me like he wanted to just gobble me up. It was the last thing that I wanted.
“So are we ready?”
It was Rick’s turn to be caught with his mind other places. I knew what it was what he wanted and if I was going to be honest with myself, I wanted much of the same. But I knew better and I was going to show a little more control than that. The last thing I needed to do was get involved with a man like Rick.
“Yeah, let’s go. The first conference starts in about fifteen minutes.”
“Well we need to get there on time. I know how you feel about tardiness.”
Rick just kind of shook his head. “Do you know how many people I have fired for that?”
I hated to imagine, so I just shrugged and wondered if that was the case, why had he given me a pass? Was he fancying me even back then?
***
The conference went on for most of the day and though I had hoped that it would take my mind from the man that was next to me, there was no such luck. All I could think about was what I wanted to do to him or more specifically, what he wanted to do to me.
“Kind of boring huh?”
Rick leaned in close and I could feel his breath on me. “Yeah, it is a little boring.”
“Do you want to get out of here and find some lunch, maybe walk around and do some shopping?”
It was literally what I wanted to do, but I didn’t have any compunction about what would happen if I did. I didn’t want to get caught up in another moment like last night and I was afraid that if I did duck out of there and go with him, it was exactly what was going to happen. For a woman that had so much control in every aspect of her life, it was hard to be so out of sorts with everything. I didn’t like feeling out of control and I knew that it was because of Rick that I felt this way.
“Well aren’t you a bad influence. Didn’t you tell me how important these meetings were?”
He didn’t even try to hide his reasons and told me that he just wanted to get away with me. “We still need to have that talk Claire.”
That was what I was dreading and I told him that I was going to stay there. “You don’t have to stay of course. I will take notes and give them to you when I am done.”
Rick’s smile faded and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that he was pouting. “No, I guess I will stay. If my employee is going to stay, I guess I should as well. I don’t want you to think that I am trying to get out of work.”
I told him that it was fine, but he wasn’t going anywhere. I wish he would, but then at the same time I liked having him there next to me, even if I didn’t want to admit it and I knew that it was going to make things worse.
After the conference was over, I tried to get away from Rick, but it was like he knew what I was doing and I had to work to get away from him. He wanted to go out and I suggested that I was going to stay in and order some room service. That somehow ended with him coming over to my room and we were going to get some together. It wasn’t at all what I had in mind, but how could I refuse? He was my boss after all and I was there on his dime. If he wanted to share a meal with me, I didn’t really have a choice.
It was a while later that we were sitting on the bed with room service pizza that Rick wanted to broach the same subject that he wanted to talk about the night before. I still wasn’t ready to have that conversation and I didn’t want to have it now.
“Look Rick. I am not sure what happened last night, but we should just pretend like it didn’t happen. That would be the best way to take care of it, don’t you think?”
He started to say something and he stopped. “What if I can’t forget?”
I sighed and looked away. There was a need in his eyes that was really hard to ignore and the more I tried, the harder it was going to be. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to forget either, but I liked the idea that maybe I could. I figured as soon as this trip was over, we could go our separate ways and I wouldn’t see him that much. He had a company to run and models to date. I didn’t think I would fit into it all and it was almost a relief if I was honest with myself.
“You are
going to have to Rick. It was just a kiss.”
It was more than just a kiss for me, but I had to downplay what I really felt. I didn’t think he would understand that I was drowning in need for him. It was the best kiss that I had ever had and it made me feel things that I had never felt before.
“It was more than a kiss and you know it Claire. That is why you are avoiding me.”
He didn’t come out and say that it was because I declined to see him last night when he came to my room, but I knew that was what it was. He was upset and something else, maybe shocked? I had to imagine that a man like Rick wouldn’t be told no very often, so he must not be taking it that well.
“I wouldn’t say I am avoiding you Rick. You are the only person I know here after all.”
“It’s not just here Claire, back home as well. We had a moment before and then you kind of got like you are now.”
I put the piece of pizza down and didn’t really know what to say. He wasn’t going to let it go and I didn’t know how to word it any better than it was in my head. “I just don’t think it would be a good idea Rick.”
“Why?”
“Because you are my boss and I would like to keep my job.”
“That won’t affect anything.”
I didn’t believe him and even if I did, there was the real fear that he would break my heart. I wasn’t ready for a man like him and in honesty, I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for a man like Rick. He was just too much and I didn’t fit in his lifestyle.
“I don’t like you in that way Rick. I don’t know what else to say.”
I thought for a moment that he was going to be mad at me, but instead he just kind of looked at me and grinned. It was clear that he didn’t believe me at all. I didn’t believe myself.
“Are you really going to tell me that you don’t like me in that way?”
I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, but I knew that I didn’t want him to know how badly I wanted him. I started to get up, but he tutted me and pulled me back down, taking the plate out of my hand.