“We should go,” Arinna said without making an effort to stand.
“Yes, I see you very much want to,” Derrick replied. She laughed.
The fiddle launched into a dancing tune, followed quickly by a guitar and mandolin. The sound was a bit Irish mixed with gypsy verve. It quickened Byran’s mood, if not his energy by much.
“I’ve changed my mind. I do want to dance with you,” he said as he stood, offering a hand to Arinna.
“Apparently you did not work hard enough today,” she teased, taking his hand to stand. “We should head back. It will be late as it is.”
“So now it will be later,” Byran replied, not letting her go as he headed in the direction of the fire and swinging dancers.
He didn’t have much stamina left, just a dance or two, but Byran wasn’t ready to end the night. Not when the day had gone so well. The dancing was a mad mix of any step. He swung Arinna around in his arms, both laughing between missteps and tiredness.
“You are pathetic,” Derrick said, cutting in.
Derrick managed to make the chaos of the contra dance look planned as he twirled Arinna in a full circuit around the fire. Catching his breath, Byran was happy for the break as much as he was to see his two closest friends laughing.
“That is how it is supposed to be done,” Derrick said when he and Arinna arrived back.
“Apparently you’ve had practice at country dances before?” Byran said.
“Not that I’ll admit to. I seem to remember a time or two we stopped with gypsy camps during our youth,” Derrick answered.
“Hah, I’d forgotten that,” Byran said, shaking his head.
“Are you ready now?” Arinna said, prodding Byran from where he rested against the side of the new barn.
“Lead on before I am too stiff to sit on my horse. The two of you must be in better shape to still have energy for that,” Byran complained. Neither of his friends looked overly sore or tired. It was annoying.
Derrick and Arinna glanced at each other, looking away at the same moment. Byran snorted. If he’d had more energy, he would have smacked them both. Things they wouldn’t admit were a commonality with both.
Byran had to suppress a groan as he claimed his horse and swung stiffly into the saddle.
“I don’t think you will be ready to ride in the morning,” Arinna said as they walked the horses down the lane.
“Are you going to be around to ride again?” Byran asked.
“I hope to be,” Arinna said, voice low and without the teasing tone. He glanced over to find her gaze on him. Self-conscious, she looked away.
“Could we ride later?” he asked, not wanting to miss the time with her, but doubting he’d be jumping out of bed at dawn.
“Why don’t we do something different?” Derrick asked. “Please come over to Kesmere and spend the afternoon. We’ll call it ‘tea’ or something.”
“Tea, how civilized. It should almost make up for today. I would love to,” Arinna replied.
“The work wasn’t done. Won’t they still be building that thing? You aren’t intending to go back?” Byran asked.
“The heavy lifting is done. They’ll get it sided and roofed in the next few days. But if you’d like to help instead?”
Byran groaned at Arinna’s suggestion, causing both Arinna and Derrick to laugh. “I am the youngest one here!”
“Yes, it shows,” Derrick teased merrily.
A quiet beep brought silence except for Arinna’s horse tossing its head as it shied sideways. “Easy, Raven,” Arinna said, calming her stallion.
She pulled out a small device. It took Byran a moment to realize what it was.
“You have a cell phone? They still work?” Byran asked.
“Something like one,” she said absently, reading the message glowing on the screen. “Shit,” she swore.
“Something’s wrong,” Byran said, memories of the war rising though the last fighting had been years ago. Except for the battle Arinna had been a part of weeks before. And her absence earlier that week. “Something really is wrong,” he repeated with more emphasis.
“It’s Jared,” she answered, lips compressed into a line.
“Captain Vries?” Derrick asked. Derrick’s horse snorted and backed at his sudden tension.
Arinna leveled a steady gaze at Derrick. She shook her head. “I don’t have time for this. I will see you tomorrow afternoon. My lords,” she said before nudging her horse into a gallop.
Byran had to keep his mare from following while Derrick turned his horse in a circle to keep him under control.
“I think she did that on purpose,” Byran said when they finally had both horses standing quiet.
Derrick was silent a minute, setting off for Kesmere again before he spoke. “You’re tired and annoyed she left. You’ll see her tomorrow.”
“Maybe. Hopefully. Not that I know where she was the last few days. I’m sick of the things both of you never say. She knows about you and the Guard. I could tell from the way she watched you today. You should have told her from the start,” Byran said.
Derrick sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Probably, but I doubt that would make her any more likely to tell us what is going on.”
“You should ask your father. He is still in Prague, isn’t he? He’s supposed to advise parliament. Call him and see what he knows.”
“I’m not calling my father,” Derrick replied stiffly. “And you should be happy about that,” he continued after a minute. “He’d want to know about Arinna ... and you.”
“I don’t need your reminder of my conduct,” Byran snapped. The last few minutes left him irritated more than he’d thought possible considering how well the day had gone. It took most of the ride back to Kesmere in heated silence before he admitted to himself most of the irritation stemmed from exhaustion. If it were any further, he would have fallen asleep in his saddle.
The lights were on at Kesmere, transforming the manor into a blinding beacon as they rode down the lane. Derrick picked up the pace to a trot, the stableboy hurrying to meet them as they stopped before the front door.
“There is a message, my lord, from the Baroness Vasquez,” the boy said.
Byran took the steps to the door two at a time. Fears that something had befallen Cerilla or Santi dissipated his early sleepiness. A maid handed him a note before curtseying and stepping away.
Byran read it, feeling all the worry, pain, and activity of the day return tenfold in an instant. He forced himself to read it again.
“Who took this?” he asked as Derrick hurried into the front room to join him.
“I did sir. It is exactly what she told me to write,” the maid replied.
“There was nothing more that she said?” Byran asked. The girl shook her head. Byran waved her away, stumbling into the front parlor to collapse on the settee.
“What is it? The kids ...” Derrick asked, following him.
“Are fine. The message reads ‘I heard. I’m coming to Kesmere.’“
Chapter 15
THE LADY GREY
GOODBYES
“No, not fighting,” Arinna answered Byran’s question on why she’d left the night before. “Not that I should be telling either of you anything, but Captain Vries is out surveying other countries since we’ve had no luck establishing contacts outside of Europe.”
Byran frowned. “That is quite a large mission to be authorized with parliament on recess,” he said.
“MO—” Arinna froze.
Derrick’s gaze flicked to hers. He looked away. “One of the Minister’s requested it?” he asked idly.
Derrick knew about MOTHER. The thought kept Arinna from responding. And Byran didn’t, nor did Derrick want his friend to know. It was the only reason Arinna could think of for him to cover for her near mistake. She wondered what else he knew. Derrick flashed her another look, prompting a blush and reply.
“Yes, it is best not to say which. But coming as it did during the summer rece
ss and making such sense, I authorized it so that we could report on the findings this fall.”
“Seems reasonable, I guess,” Byran answered.
Byran was annoyed; Derrick wouldn’t look at her, and Arinna was chilled that just for a moment she’d forgotten herself.
“What did they find?” Byran asked.
“Refugees,” she answered. “There were people asking to come back to Europe and Captain Vries needed to know what to do.”
“What did you tell him?” Derrick asked.
“That it will be up to parliament really. Until then without knowing if any are FLF, no.”
Byran looked a little more pleased with that answer. Arinna cursed herself for caring as well as saying so much. The approach of a maid gave her a moment to steady herself.
“Dame Corianne Heylor and her cousin are at the door requesting assistance, sir. I should have told you they’d stopped by yesterday as well while you were out though she asked me not to speak of it. I’d forgotten; I’m sorry.”
Derrick swore under his breath as he stood. He disappeared into the manor, leaving Arinna and Byran on the stone patio overlooking Kesmere’s compact formal garden, which faded into meandering pathways near the edge of the wood.
“There is something else you should know,” Byran said, breaking the silence between them. “Something I can tell you at least.” Arinna suppressed a wince. “Isabella is on her way to Kesmere.”
“This is ... unexpected?” she asked, emotions falling to riot again.
Yesterday working alongside Byran, it had been easy to forget the reality of who they were and their lives. Feeling his warmth against her side as the sun set had been a pleasant sensation, one that she had not shared with anyone, except for that one night with Byran since Michael had died. Isabella coming to Kesmere dashed ideas Arinna shouldn’t have been having in the first place.
“Obviously,” Byran answered flatly. Arinna found herself fighting unexpected tears. “I tried to call her at Merimarche last night, but either she had left already or didn’t answer. I’m leaving tomorrow to meet her en route ... and talk to her.”
Arinna met Byran’s gaze to determine what he meant in that short pause, but his sable brown eyes were murky until he saw the tear track down her cheek.
“Arinna,” he breathed at the same moment the door to the manor opened, and Corianne’s chiming laughter echoed from indoors.
Arinna wiped her cheek dry as the two young women escorted by Derrick emerged into the sunshine.
“It is so kind of you to invite us to stay,” Corianne said.
“My man will see to the carriage. I’m sure it won’t take long for it to be mended,” Derrick said kindly. The look he flashed Byran spoke a lot more though mostly of apology and lack of options. Byran snorted and looked away. “Afternoon tea is on its way. You met the Lady Grey and Baron Vasquez before,” Derrick said as they neared the table.
“A pleasure to see you again,” Arinna said, trying to smooth her roughened voice.
Corianne smiled warmly as she sat, but Tatiana remained stiff and tight-lipped. She cast her cousin a simmering glare before taking a seat. If Byran hadn’t just said what he had before the arrival of the young women, Arinna would have found the episode amusing. Corianne was surprisingly persistent and industrious to have found a good excuse to be invited into Kesmere and Derrick’s company for the afternoon.
Instead, Arinna found it difficult to slip into the public role she’d staged for the last three years. She wanted a minute alone to clear her thoughts. She wanted to talk to Byran. Neither of which were reasonable requests as tea and sandwiches arrived at the garden table.
Corianne chatted animatedly about bits of local gossip, seeming to not care that few commented on the topics as she switched from one to the next. Even Derrick, who had always managed to be hospitable despite the situation as far as Arinna had witnessed, bordered on rudeness as he barely acknowledged Corianne’s brief pauses.
Tatiana for her part sat with eyes fixed to the table as she sipped her tea, never taking a sandwich. It was her discomfort that finally prompted Arinna to speak.
“Did you enjoy the ball last week?” Arinna asked the girl.
Tatiana blinked before answering. “Yes, my brother, Pyotr, was kind enough to escort us. Even he said it was a lovely evening.”
“Yes, it was,” Corianne said, smiling at Derrick.
Arinna nearly choked as she endeavored to hide a smile. Derrick tossed her a wan look, which did send her coughing to cover a spate of laughter.
“Excuse me,” Arinna said hoarsely, standing and walking away from the table to the garden.
“I will see if she is alright,” Byran said before she’d gone twenty paces.
Arinna hadn’t meant the move as a chance to get them away. But as she waited for Byran beyond the first turn of a moderately low hedge, she realized with relief they were free from the formal setting. Byran stopped a foot from her, holding a glass of water in his hand. She took it without looking away from his gaze as she sipped from the glass.
“Walk with me?” she asked.
He nodded, taking the cup and setting it on a nearby bench before offering her his arm. They were silent a minute longer, walking along the gravel path to stop before a fountain. Arinna glanced to where Derrick struggled to entertain Corianne and Tatiana.
“We could at least pretend you are giving me a tour,” Arinna said.
“Is that what you do? Pretend one thing to hide the truth?”
Arinna forgot to breathe. She looked away, staring out over the fields, but it wasn’t enough to clear her mind. A tremor rippled through her frame as tears filled her eyes.
“Arinna, I didn’t mean—”
“Not here,” she said to him sharply.
She pulled him onward through their linked arms, walking quickly as she gave up the pretense they were merely touring the garden. When they reached the cool of the woods, she dropped his arm and paced forward.
“Yes,” she said, turning to face him. “Yes, I pretend one thing to hide the truth. It is what I do to be what I must be. Don’t tell me that surprises you because since I’ve known you I’ve spent most of my time pretending to be something I am not.”
“But you don’t have to hide the truth, yourself, from me! Before we were at least honest with each other,” he said. “Now, you tell me nothing. Why were you gone the last few days? Why is Captain Vries really on a mission outside of Europe?”
“I told you the truth on that,” Arinna said. “Jared is looking to see what the rest of the world has become. It’s been too long since we’ve been isolated here.”
“And you wish you were with him,” Byran said.
Arinna frowned, refusing to answer as she was unsure what she would say. Byran paced away down the path this time. She followed more slowly, uncertain how this had become an argument. Near the curved arch of an ornamental bridge over a small stream, Byran’s furious walk became the back and forth of a man caught in too many thoughts.
“And don’t tell me you care about rumors,” he said as he turned to face her again. “What they say about you and your Captain are far from polite!”
Arms crossed, Arinna shook her head. “You’re right. I don’t care about that one. What I don’t need is a rumor that will have my every move watched ... like that I am having an affair with a married Senator and his wife is coming to sort it out!”
“I didn’t ask her to come. I’m going to meet her, and I will take care of it. So that you can go about your secret business without anyone knowing your comings and goings. I can’t imagine why there is a rumor you are going to stage a coup when your actions are so transparent.”
Arinna turned, wanting to walk away but unable to take a step. “Damn you. We can’t do this, Byran. Not then, not now.” She faced him again, angry and teary-eyed at the same time.
“Why?” he asked. “I love you. Why can’t we have this?”
He walked to stand an arm’s length from
her, just out of reach, but so close. She trembled again.
“Besides your wife?”
“I asked you to marry me first. You never said no.”
Tears filled her eyes in earnest. “I never said yes. I was married at the time.”
“And now, this time, I am. But I’m willing to change that.”
“No, Byran,” Arinna said, turning away.
He grabbed her wrist before she walked out of reach. Turning to tell him to let her go, she found herself instead in his arms, uncertain who initiated the kiss first.
“Tell me you don’t want this,” he whispered, lips brushing hers as he formed each word.
“I do want this. But I can’t have it. You don’t know what you are asking me to risk,” she replied.
“Then tell me,” he said, fingers tightening against her back in emphasis.
“I cannot,” she said, meeting his gaze. “And I can’t marry you, Byran. The Guard does not marry.”
“Bullshit. That rule was for active duty during the war!”
“That hasn’t changed,” she said, voice trembling. He paused, and she thought he realized what she’d just said. Instead, he kissed her again.
“Don’t do this, please,” he said.
She’d gone as far as she could. Something inside told her that. Arinna blinked away a few tears, leaning forward to lightly kiss his lips. “Go home with your wife when you find her,” Arinna said and disentangled herself from his arms. She walked away without looking back, afraid she’d lose her nerve.
The return walk through the meandering garden trail gave her time to find composure despite the numbness overwhelming her. When she emerged into the formal garden, it was to see Derrick standing alone on the patio. He met her on the steps up to Kesmere, stopping when he saw the expression on her face.
“You might need to find him,” Arinna said roughly. “Thank you for your kindness the last few weeks. You are a very good friend to him. He’s lucky to have you. I won’t bother you any further, my lord earl.” She couldn’t quite meet Derrick’s eyes but found her gaze on the corner of the manor. For all his civility, Derrick seemed unable to find anything to say. Arinna felt tears well in her eyes again and walked toward the house, leaving Derrick standing in his garden.
After the War: Military Dystopian Thriller (Friends of my Enemy Book 2) Page 11