“We didn’t want to worry anyone. I knew as soon as I found out what the man wanted that I wasn’t going anywhere.” Tracy explained the decision not to tell them the best way she could.
Francis still seemed upset that they hadn’t said anything. “I still think you should have told us.”
Tracy sighed. “Maybe we should have. I didn’t see a need for all of you to worry that I was leaving when there was no way I was going to do it.”
No more was said the entire way home. Francis unhitched the team and went in search of Andy. He didn’t even carry all their new purchases inside before seeking out his brother as he normally would have done.
*****
Andy looked up from the fence he was mending to see Francis riding as fast as he could across the range. He knew he’d taken Tracy and Mattie into town that morning, so he wasn’t sure what was making him so upset.
Francis stopped in front of him, dismounting in one quick move. Andy, a good horseman himself, was always envious of Francis’s way with horses. Andy had all the moves technically right, and did what he was supposed to do, but Francis was a natural. The things Andy had learned from a young age, Francis had just been able to do with no one teaching him.
“What’s wrong?” Andy asked, his face concerned. “Is something wrong with Tracy or the baby?” He couldn’t bear it if something happened to one of them. It was hard enough losing his parents. Losing his wife or child would break him.
Francis shook his head. “Her mother is in town.”
Andy felt all the color drain from his face. “Her mother came here? But…she never answered Tracy’s letter.” Why was she there? Was she going to try to talk Tracy into leaving with her? He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t!
Francis sighed. “I didn’t even know that Tracy’s mother had magically appeared. Why didn’t you tell any of us?”
Andy shook his head. “We’ll talk about it later. Is Tracy all right?” He walked to Francis’s horse and quickly threw himself into the saddle. Meeting her mother had been so important to her that she’d taken the second rejection hard, even though she’d put on a brave face about it.
“She seems fine. I don’t know.”
“Take my horse when you’re ready. Finish the fence.” Andy rode off toward the house, wanting to check on Tracy. Had she actually talked to her mother? Was she upset?
When he got back to the house, he saw the two girls trying to unload the back of the wagon. Mattie stood in the bed and handed things down to Tracy who made a small pile. There was no way she could carry it all in herself. Their food bill had certainly gone up since Tracy had arrived, but he wasn’t complaining one bit. He hadn’t had a single bite of beef jerky in six months. How would they go back to living the way they had before she’d come to them?
Jumping down, he walked over to Tracy, taking her arm. “Are you all right? Did you talk to her?”
Tracy nodded. “Yes, to both things. I met her and realized she’s like every other stranger in the world to me. She gave birth to me, yes, but that’s all she ever did. It was…a strange feeling.”
“What do you mean?”
Tracy tried to figure out how to explain it. “Well, my whole life I’ve dreamed of what it would be like to meet my mother. How I would see her and run into her arms and be held tightly. We would both cry and I would know that she’d always loved me and life just kept her away from me.”
Andy gave a half-smile. He’d realized very quickly that Tracy was a romantic and got excited over every little thing. She would work up something in her head to be perfect and everything less tended to disappoint her. “It wasn’t like that?”
Tracy shook her head. “I didn’t even know what to say to her. Or what to call her. Her name is Cecelia, but calling her Cecelia seems impersonal and rude. Calling her Mother…it just doesn’t feel right to me.”
Andy stroked Tracy’s cheek. “You could start with Cecelia then.”
Tracy made a face. “It sounds so formal.” She sighed. “Anyway, I told her I was happy here. That I have a family for the first time in my life, and I feel loved for the first time ever, and that I couldn’t leave.”
“Good. I’m glad you stood up to her.”
Tracy bit her lip. “She said that she could give me servants and the baby and I would never want for anything. I’d never have to wash a dish again.” She laughed. “I have to admit, I like the sound of that part of things.” Tracy did dishes three times a day without a single complaint, but Andy knew she hated them.
Andy grinned. “She accepted that you weren’t moving to Boston to be close to her?”
“I think so. Just as we drove away, she said she’s going to stay in town a while so she can get to know me better.” Tracy shrugged. “I guess that’s okay as long as she doesn’t try to pressure me into leaving.”
Andy pulled her close, resting his cheek on top of her head. “I think it would be good for you to get to know her, but I don’t want you leaving.”
Tracy chuckled. “I’m not going anywhere. I couldn’t take Mattie away from her brothers.” The grin she gave him told him she was teasing him somehow.
He looked at her. “Mattie? If you did leave, she’d stay with me.”
“Oh no, she wouldn’t! That girl is mine now!” The look of ferocity on Tracy’s face was almost comical.
He laughed. “You’re not leaving, though, so it doesn’t matter.”
She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I don’t guess I could talk you into helping me unload the wagon since you’re here.” She was not looking forward to carrying in even half of what they’d purchased, and she knew Andy wouldn’t want her to. He was very protective of her and the baby.
“I think that’s why Francis came to get me. He’s tired of lugging your purchases.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t want me lifting anything.” She patted her belly, now very rounded.
“No, I don’t.” He pushed her toward the door. “Go inside while I deal with this stuff.”
Tracy headed into the house to put things away as he carried them inside. She was glad he’d come home early. She was holding things together, yes, but she felt like she’d done something terrible with the way she’d talked to her mother.
When Andy came into the house, she asked, “Are you still planning on shooting a turkey for Thanksgiving?”
Andy nodded. “We don’t need it for almost a week, though.”
“I know. I just want to make sure you haven’t forgotten.” She paused for a minute watching him. “How would you feel if I invited my mother to eat with us on Thanksgiving? She’ll be away from the people she loves on the holiday.” She both liked and hated the idea of inviting her mother.
Andy frowned. “I hate the idea, but if it will make you happy, then do it.”
Tracy smiled, walking across the room to hug him tightly. “Thank you.” She couldn’t abandon the woman as she’d been abandoned.
He stroked her cheek. “You’re the one who has to make extra food.”
*****
Tracy fixed Mattie’s hair for church on Sunday morning, carefully arranging the braids she’d formed. “You look so grown up with your hair that way. I think I’ll leave the braids down so I can make you stay a little girl.”
Mattie giggled. “You really think I look grown up with my hair this way?” She obviously loved the idea of looking older, like most young girls.
“You look at least nine,” Tracy fibbed, trying to conceal her laugh.
Mattie walked around with her head held a little higher as she finished getting ready to go.
Tracy walked into the kitchen, completely ready for church. She was going to have to make herself a couple of new dresses, because she couldn’t let out the ones she had even another inch. She walked to the table where Francis and Andy were drinking coffee. “I’m ready.”
Tracy was surprised her mother hadn’t made the trip out to the ranch yet, but maybe no one had been willing to tell her where t
he house was. Or maybe she’d given up and gone back to Boston. Tracy was surprised by the sadness she felt at the idea of the other woman giving up. She wanted her mother to want to have a relationship with her, even if she herself didn’t want one.
She wanted, just for once, for her mother to care about seeing her and work toward it. She didn’t understand why she didn’t at least visit or write letters over the years. Tracy needed to understand what had happened during the years they’d been apart. For some reason, it mattered more than anything.
“You finally ready?” Andy asked. He loved to tease her about how long it took her to ready herself for church every week.
Tracy made a face. “I’m waiting on you. As usual.”
They made their way out to the wagon. He’d sent Francis out earlier to hitch up the team, and Tracy had a big bowl of chicken and dumplings in the oven keeping warm. The dinner rolls she’s made the day before were covered and ready to eat as well.
When they reached the church, Andy helped Tracy down, keeping a casual arm around her waist. She was happy to have him beside her, especially since she didn’t know when or where her mother would pop up next. Or if. There was a big ‘if’ as well.
As soon as they stepped into the church, her mother made a beeline for her. “Tracy!” Cecelia called.
Tracy looked up as the older woman grabbed her and hugged her close. Tracy took a deep breath before pulling away. She didn’t feel close enough to her mother to hug her. It felt strange being grabbed by her that way. “This is my husband, Andrew Harvey. Andy, my mother, Cecelia Hebert.”
Andy nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Hebert.”
Cecelia looked at Andy for a moment, studying his clothes as if she thought he wasn’t quite good enough for her daughter. Tracy said nothing, wanting to scream that he had stood by her, no matter how he dressed. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
Tracy bit her lip for a moment, wondering if this was the right time to ask. “I thought maybe you’d like to come out to our house and have Thanksgiving dinner with us.”
Cecelia’s face lit up excitedly. “I’d love that! If there were a restaurant in this tiny town, I’d invite you to have dinner with me today.” She obviously thought that not only was Tracy’s new family lacking, but the town itself was lacking as well. Would anything be good enough for her baby?
Before she could stop herself, Tracy said, “I’ve already made Sunday dinner, but you’re welcome to join us.”
Andy stiffened a bit at her words, but immediately echoed the invitation. “Yes, you’re welcome to eat with us.”
“I’d like that.” Cecelia smiled happily. “I have a buggy that I’ve borrowed for the duration of my stay. You’ll just need to give me directions.”
“You can follow us out after church,” Andy suggested. He knew he should have just drawn the woman a map, but he didn’t want to waste that much time on her. There was something about her that he just couldn’t trust.
“I’ll do that.” Cecelia looked around for Mattie. “Where’s your little sister-in-law. She was so…charming that day I met her.”
Tracy stifled a laugh. Mattie had dismissed her mother out of hand. She’d not thought she was worth her time and attention, and it showed. “She’s playing with the other little girls. She’ll be along before church starts.”
Tracy was surprised to see the older woman slide into the pew beside her. Mattie usually sat at her side, and wouldn’t be happy for the intrusion. When Mattie saw Cecelia in her usual spot, she squeezed in between Tracy and Andy. Tracy obediently slid closer to her mother to give Mattie a little more room, smiling at the girl’s solution.
After the sermon, everyone crowded around to meet Tracy’s “sister.” When Tracy introduced the other woman as her mother, there were some very surprised faces. “You don’t look young enough to have a child Tracy’s age!”
Cecelia took the comments in stride. “Thank you…She does age me a bit, doesn’t she?” She was obviously thrilled with the comments about how young she looked. Cecelia was a vain woman.
Tracy didn’t like admitting the woman was her mother, which surprised her. She’d always dreamed of having a mother for people to meet, but now that she did, she didn’t like it. She didn’t feel like the older woman had really done anything to deserve being called her mother.
On the way home, Tracy asked, “So what did you think of her?”
Andy made a face. “She seemed as if she thought we weren’t good enough for her daughter.” He hated the idea that Tracy might actually be better off with the woman. She certainly wouldn’t have to work so hard while she was carrying his child.
Tracy nodded. “I got the same impression. You are, though.” She clung to Andy’s arm as he drove. “I’m where I want to be.”
He smiled. “Well, I certainly hope so. Now that you’re pregnant, you’re kind of stuck with me.” He winked at her, pleased that she was echoing his thoughts.
“Good. I want to be stuck with you.”
Once they were inside the house, Mattie put on the apron she and Tracy had made together, and helped Tracy put lunch on the table. It wasn’t a fancy meal, but Tracy knew that she was a good cook, and she wasn’t ashamed to serve the simple meal to her mother. After everyone was seated, Andy prayed for them all.
When her mother took her first bite of lunch, Tracy held her breath. She so badly wanted her mother to approve of her, even after her brave words and their years apart. “Well, I don’t usually like chicken and dumplings, but this is quite good, Tracy. Who taught you to cook?”
Tracy shrugged. “Mrs. Spivey has been running the orphanage for as long as I can remember. She insists that all the girls know how to cook, clean, and sew. If they learn nothing else from her, they learn those three things.”
“Was it a good place?” Cecelia asked, seeming upset at having to ask the question.
Tracy nodded. “It was. We weren’t mistreated. All of us were given plenty of food. We had warm clothes. They were usually old and patched, but they were clean. We learned how to be good people there. Whether we wanted to learn it or not, we did.” She sighed. “For me the biggest problem was people moving in and out. Most children are either adopted as babies or they are adopted as soon as they’re old enough to be helpful. I couldn’t be adopted, so I had to stay there and watch friends come and go. It got to the point where I wouldn’t let myself make friends with the other orphans. It was too hard to lose them.” She’d been lonely her entire life until she’d come to Texas. Of course she didn’t want to leave.
“Why couldn’t you be adopted?” Cecelia asked.
Tracy stared at her mother in disbelief. “You left a note saying you’d be back soon. If there had been no note at all, I’d have been adopted out immediately. With the note, they had to wait until I was eighteen to let me go.” She shrugged. “I couldn’t go until I turned eighteen, but I couldn’t stay beyond the age of eighteen because of overcrowding. I had to become a mail order bride so that I could time it just right.”
Cecelia stared at her daughter in shock. “You were a mail order bride? That’s how you ended up here?”
Tracy nodded. “Why did you think I was here?”
“Why won’t you leave then? These people are nothing to you.”
Tracy shook her head, simply unable to believe that the woman was talking so openly about the people she loved right in front of them. “They’re everything to me. They’re the first people in the whole world who ever loved me. They want me to stay. I’m family to them.”
Cecelia looked offended by those words. “I loved you!”
Tracy laughed softly. “You left me.”
Mattie looked at Cecelia. “You’re not taking Tracy anywhere. I’ll cut you if I have to.”
Tracy stared at Mattie in shock. “You won’t cut anyone. What a thing to say!”
Mattie looked down at the table, embarrassed by her words. “You have to stay with us, Tracy.” Her voice was soft, but Tracy could hear the
anguish in it.
Tracy reached over to take Mattie’s hand. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetie.” Tracy had never noticed any trace of violence or negativity from Mattie, so she was stunned that the girl would say such a thing.
Cecelia looked at Tracy. “They do seem to want you around.”
Tracy grinned. “I’ve never felt wanted by anyone in my entire life before I came here. My new family is just amazing.” She smiled at Andy, making sure he knew that she was staying.
Cecelia looked around her. “You’re living in poverty here, though. You could have so much more with me.” She obviously believed it was better to be rich and unloved than to have all the love in the world with no riches.
“I don’t want or need more. I have people here who love me. If your whole purpose in being here is just to get me to leave, then you might as well go back to Boston now.” Tracy ate her last bite and walked to put her dish in the basin. She removed the cover from the cake she’d made for dessert and carried the cake to the table, along with a stack of plates. “Are you all ready for dessert?”
She carefully cut the cake and handed out the pieces. They ate the dessert in silence, her mother obviously offended by her words. When they were all finished, Tracy got up to clear the table watching as Mattie jumped up to help. They had become a good team in the past months, and Tracy no longer needed to ask Mattie for anything. The younger girl just did it with her.
Every other guest they’d had in their home had helped clear the table, and Tracy was annoyed her mother sat where she was and watched as she did it all. She’d said she was once a maid, but Tracy couldn’t imagine her mother helping anyone with anything.
When she and Mattie were finished, Tracy sat back down at the table. “So when did you get married?” she asked.
Cecelia smiled. “Bert and I married five years ago.” She had a dreamy look on her face that made Tracy think she was missing her husband. Maybe she had the ability to love after all.
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