Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  Now after his illness had been relieved, Qin Da had remembered Wang Xing’s wife and asked his servant, “Where is my pretty lady?”

  “Lost!” answered Qin Yu.

  Qin Da shouted, “You worthless thing! You dared to let the pretty lady get away. That will never do!” As his temper rose, his head again swelled.

  Qin Yu was sent at once from the west courtyard to notify the prime minister. Having heard what the monk said, Qin Yu came back to inform Qin Da. “Honorable young master, just now the monk said that you should look at what the prescription tells you to do. Do it and your illness will pass without further help from him.”

  Qin Da said, “Bring the prescription quickly and I will look at it.” The man hurriedly brought it to him—Qin Da opened it. On the paper was written:

  The illness of the body is known to the body itself.

  The heart has the cure for the sickness of the heart.

  When the heart is correct, the body will be at peace.

  When the heart is out of control, the sickness will be out of control.

  As soon as Qin Da read it, he said to himself: “Ai ya, this illness of mine is entirely brought on by myself. I abducted other men’s wives and did bad things. From now I will turn my bad behavior to good and this sickness of mine will be well.” Just as his thoughts had reached this point, his head made a sound, “Hu, hu, hu!”—and then became its normal size again.

  The household quickly went to the east courtyard to report, “Prime Minister, the honorable young master was cured as soon as he read the monk’s prescription.”

  The prime minister said, “Very good. You slaves must take good care of the young master.” They promised to do so and left.

  Just then the people of the eastern household came from the inner courtyard to report. “Madame Qin has developed a painful semicircular dragon headache.”

  The prime minister said, “I understand.” Then he asked Ji Gong, “Saintly monk, can you can cure an encircling dragon headache?”

  The monk replied, “Madame must have said the wrong thing in some way. If that is not the case, it is not an illness I can cure. I will go and see.”

  Prime Minister Qin said, “There was nothing in particular that my wife said … but there was! Last night, just before the demons troubled us, I had a dream in which my old patron came back to visit me and urged me to improve my ways. When I awoke, I wanted to stop the people from tearing down the memorial pagoda and to release all the monks. Then my wife said that it all came from my own mind and stopped me from doing the right thing. A little while later, the demons came.”

  Prime Minister Qin went with the monk to the raised building in the inner courtyard of the east section, where they heard the sound of continual coughing.

  The monk said, “Do not be alarmed, lady—I am here. Everything will soon be all right.” After saying this, he made a gesture toward the center of the room. Immediately she recovered completely.

  The monk asked, “Great One, does she seem well to you?”

  The prime minister replied, “Very well, very well.”

  The monk explained. “I scratched the offending spirit and one scratch was enough. However, even though it was driven out, it is still lurking about. Did you notice how that dog lying there barked twice? If the spirit can complete a circle, it causes death.”

  The prime minister said, “If a mistaken sentence can cause an encircling dragon headache, that is very dangerous. After this, I will be more careful and prudent in my duties at court.”

  Prime Minister Qin then went with Ji Gong into the library. After they had sat down, the prime minister gave a servant orders to have food and wine prepared and brought in for them. They passed the evening pleasantly. At about the third watch, they heard a great wind rising outside.

  The prime minister said, “This is not good. It was at this same hour last night that the demons came to trouble us.”

  Ji Gong said, “The Great One need not be anxious. I will go and exorcise this demon for you, and I will bring an end to it at the same time. Whatever happens, pay no attention.”

  The monk went outside and was heard to say, “Good demon, good demon, you may devour me at the risk of your own existence.”

  Inside the room, the prime minister, hearing this, was most uneasy. After waiting until it was fully light in the morning, the great one went outside to look. There he saw the monk lying motionless on the ground. The prime minister called the servants to help revive the monk and assist him inside, where they seated him in a chair.

  The prime minister said, “I am going to get a change of clothing in here for you and then have you escorted back to the monastery.”

  Prime Minister Qin called upon the household people to buy monk’s clothing, shoes, and stockings. They acknowledged the order and before long brought back three sets of monk’s clothes, which were all of the finest quality. One set was made of yellow silk embroidered with white clouds, the second of white silk embroidered with flowers, and the third of patterned blue silk. The three sets, complete with shoes and stockings, had cost 120 ounces of silver.

  The prime minister sent the library boy with Ji Gong while he bathed and changed his clothing. After Ji Gong had washed his face and changed his clothes for the first time in a long while, he returned to the library and sat down. Prime Minister Qin paid him the silver that the monk had won from him. Then the prime minister told one of the household people to prepare the horse which he himself, the prime minister, was in the habit of riding, with all the usual trappings and attendants, so that the monk might be sent back to the monastery in honor.

  The monk said, “I am sorry that our affinity was so shallow, that we met so late, and that we had to separate so soon. Today, as our hands part, we do not know in what year we may meet again.”

  The prime minister said, “Whenever you wish to come, Monk, simply come. We will not be separated by a thousand mountains and ten thousand waters. Whenever I am free from my duties, I would like to stroll about with you.”

  Ji Gong said, “If I, a monk, were to come often to your door to see the Great One, where would I get the money to pay all of the gatekeepers’ fees?”

  The prime minister gave directions that the gatekeepers should be called in, and in a short time over a dozen of the household people were standing outside the library door. The great one said, “Ji Gong is my officially appointed substitute and friend. Whenever he comes, even though I may be busy, do not detain him and inform me at once.”

  All together they said, “Yes, yes. Your slaves hear your orders.”

  Ji Gong said, “I, the monk, would like to give these men a few cash each, if the Great One pleases.”

  The prime minister knew that with the thousands of ounces of silver that Ji Gong had won, he had more than enough to spare. After thinking that it would be well for the monk to build up his reputation, the prime minister said, “That is for you to judge, Monk.”

  Ji Gong said, “To each of these under officials I will give one hundred cash.”

  Prime Minister Qin said, “Oh, give them a few ounces more, Monk. I will add it to yours.”

  Ji Gong said, “I would have given them each a hundred cash today, and tomorrow I would not have given them any. Then, when I did come, that hundred cash would have taken care of their speaking with me. If this is not to be, then when I do not come, each day will be counted as one day. For each man, during each month, three strings of cash can be added to the regular wages, and the Great One may be my substitute.”

  The prime minister said, “So be it. And now, monk, I will say goodbye.” Prime Minister Qin sent twenty men as an escort for Ji Gong, saying to them, “Convey my official orders. Those at every Buddhist temple must kneel in receiving him as a guest and kneel in bidding him farewell, for he is none other than my official substitute, whom I have sent back in honor to his temple.”

  The household people all promised to obey. Outside, the horse had been made ready. The monk took his leave f
rom Prime Minister Qin, left the residence, and mounted the horse. The household people whipped up the horse and led it off. Ahead walked others carrying placards, manacles, staves, gongs, flags, umbrellas, and fans to drive back those who might hinder Ji Gong’s passage. On the streets they saw crowds of noisy people all wanting to see the monk whom the prime minister had named as his substitute. When the monk on his horse reached the Monastery of the Soul’s Retreat, bells were rung and drums beaten to call the monks together.

  The monk first called the superintendent of the temple to come forward saying, “Take the silver I have behind me and weigh out twenty piles of fifty ounces each. Then weigh out one hundred piles of ten ounces each.” The superintendent did so.

  Ji Gong said, “All estate managers who brought me here, you are to carry out my official orders!”

  The estate managers said, “Yes! Though we do not yet know what orders the saintly monk is about to give, we will obey.”

  Ji Gong said, “You monks of this temple, listen carefully. I, Ji Gong, am none other than the monk appointed to serve as the honorable Prime Minister Qin’s substitute. Today I have returned to the temple in honor. This saintly monk wishes to join with the rest of you monks in advancing money to buy drinks. Those who have money and will not share will forthwith be taken to the yamen to be punished.”

  The people from the prime minister’s household listened carefully. The monks heard his words and thought, “We will give nothing.”

  Again Ji Gong spoke. “All estate managers, come closer. Once more carry out my orders. By and by I will not have any money, and I will come to ask these monks to advance me a little. Furthermore, if there is no one in the rooms and I steal a little something, they must not talk about it and they may not look at me and say that I steal. If they disobey, push the temple gate open and destroy them at once.”

  At this, the estate managers all began to laugh and could only make indistinct replies in agreement. Hearing all this, the monks thought to themselves: “He has turned the temple upside down.” They felt great displeasure in their hearts. Although they dared to feel angry, they dared not put their anger into words.

  Ji Gong then distributed the silver: fifty ounces to each of the estate managers and ten ounces to each of the hundred men who had walked ahead of him to clear the way. Each of them knew no bounds to his joy, and finally each went his separate way from the temple.

  The monk took off his new clothing and put on his ragged monk’s gown as usual. Then, taking the new clothing that he had wrapped in the square of cloth that had contained his old things, he strolled away from the monastery.

  As he was about to pass through the Qiantang gate, he saw a pawnshop just outside the gate. The monk went in, put the bundle on the counter, and pressed his arms down firmly upon it, as if he thought that someone might try to take his bundle away from him.

  When the proprietor looked up, he saw a poor monk dressed all in rags who had brought with him a number of garments, all quite new. He also noticed that the monk had looked out through the bamboo blind to the east and west, as if there might be someone following him, and that he seemed a little frightened. The proprietor of the pawnshop asked sharply, “Monk, how did you get these clothes of yours? Now tell the truth!”

  Ji Gong replied, “Proprietor, just see how much they can be pawned for, and I will pawn them for that much. If not, wrap them up and I will take them somewhere else to pawn.”

  The second proprietor came up beside his partner and said to him, “You should never fail to open your eyes. You did not recognize him. Is this not the honorable great teacher who came out of the city through the gate just now riding a horse, and who is the prime minister’s substitute as a monk?” Then he turned to Ji Gong and asked, “For how much money does the honorable great teacher wish to pawn the garments?”

  Ji Gong answered, “Let me pawn them for 150 strings of cash.”

  The second proprietor inquired, “Does the monk wish silver or paper notes?”

  The monk replied, “I would like cash—and please keep the pawn ticket with your records.”

  The proprietor called a man to take the money to the door. Ji Gong then called out, “Who will come to carry money?”

  A great, sturdy, ruffian-like fellow came up and said, “Monk, I will carry your money.”

  Ji Gong said, “You are a scoundrel. I do not want you to carry it.” The monk then called to several poor people, one to carry three strings, another to carry two strings, and so on, dividing the money among a large crowd until there were only five strings left. Ji Gong then said, “Call that big fellow to carry them.” The sturdy fellow picked up the five strings and immediately ran off. The monk did not run after him.

  The other people queried, “Monk, where shall we carry the money?”

  The monk replied, “Where you wish,” and the people scattered. The monk then started walking along the alley into which the sturdy fellow had fled.

  CHAPTER 16

  Spring Fragrance meets a saintly monk in a house of prostitution; Zhao Wenhui sees a poem and feels pity for the writer

  The flowers opened on a butterfly-filled branch

  And, scattered by butterflies, they fell.

  Ah! They are soiled and faded blossoms now

  And butterflies wear only threadbare rags.

  IN the alley, Ji Gong went up to the big, sturdy fellow and took hold of him with his hand saying, “A good thing you are! You won’t give good fortune a chance. If you had stood still for one moment, I would have given you those five strings of cash, but you wanted to rob and run, and that will not do. Your entire destiny is worth only five hundred cash. If you take these five strings of cash and run, I will haul you into the Qiantang prefecture court.”

  When the great fellow heard this, he was frightened, and tearing himself away with great force, raced off. The monk said, “Follow!”

  In his haste, the fellow was not paying much attention to where he was going. Just as he came to the mouth of the alley, he ran smack into a porcelain peddler and broke seventeen porcelain bowls. Together with two broken poles, the damages came to four and a half strings of cash. There was nothing the big fellow could do except pay. He was left with five hundred cash and the no longer surprising knowledge that he was actually not worth much, just as the monk had said.

  The monk, having gotten rid of all his money, continued on his way until he saw coming toward him two familiar yuanwai. One was Zhao Wenhui; the other was Su Beishan. As soon as they saw Ji Gong, they came up and greeted him respectfully. Su Beishan asked, “How did your affair with the law turn out, Teacher? We heard that the prime minister had locked up our teacher and we were all most uneasy. Today I was going with Wenhui to the Monastery of the Soul’s Retreat to inquire about you.”

  Ji Gong replied, “My affair with the law is over and Prime Minister Qin did not harm me.” Then he told the two about what had happened at the prime minister’s estate.

  After listening, Su Beishan said, “Today, perhaps you might have a drink.”

  Ji Gong said, “I was just thinking about having something to drink. Where would you two like to go now?”

  Su Beishan said, “We have heard some gossip among the servants to the effect that a girl from an official family has fallen into the hands of the keeper of a house of prostitution. We would like to go and take a look.”

  The monk said, “Good, I also will go and take a look.”

  Zhao Wenhui said, “Teacher, it would not be fitting for you, sir, to visit a harlot’s house. You are a person who has left the world, teaching and studying the mysteries of Chan. If you go to such a place, how can you keep people from laughing at you?”

  The monk replied, “To a conjurer, nothing is impossible! You two and I, the three of us, will simply go.”

  Su Beishan laughed loudly. The three walked on until they saw an alley running from east to west. On a wall at the entrance to the alley was a board on which was written FRAGRANT FLOWER LANE. They entered,
and at the second gate on the north side they saw a lantern hanging high above their heads. On the gate were written the words of the following couplet:

  At the first watch, what joy with the exchange of fans and wine cups.

  At the third cockcrow, the parting with largesse scattered as in an empty field.

  After the monk had finished looking at the words, the three men walked in. As soon as they went in, the gatekeeper said, “Ah! the honorable venerable Zhao and venerable Su. The two yuanwai have arrived.”

  The monk raised his head and looked about. Facing the gate was a high wall that screened the courtyard beyond from view. A huge, round pottery fish tank filled with large-leaved blooming lotus plants was placed before the screen wall. On the wall four lines of verse were written.

  Though there are fairies in the underworld, the upper world has none.

  And those beneath depend upon the help of those on high.

  So we must lead into our chambers, night after night, new guests.

  And change our bridegrooms as the stars, when seasons pass, move in the sky.

  The three men went on into the courtyard beyond and were seated. The monk could see that the courtyard was paved with tiles. On the north side was a large raised building of five sections with a veranda in front and another courtyard behind. On the east and west sides of the main courtyard were matching buildings, each having three sections. In the east and west walls were matching open gates through which other courtyards could be seen. High above the main courtyard was an awning made of split bamboo mats spread over a framework of bamboo poles to keep out the sun. Upon the veranda pillars of the main north building, a pair of verses was written:

  Before the pavilion of songs and dances

  Are planted many flowers and lovely trees.