She supposed it was a handy trick to have up one’s sleeve. But the knowledge that Jacob was just as susceptible to the blood lust Greyvian supposedly went through gave her mixed feelings. On one hand, it was a comfort, because it meant her brother really couldn’t control it, but on the other, it meant that there was another one of him on the loose amongst the human population. However, maybe if the two of them were on the loose together, they could keep each other from killing—as Greyvian had supposedly done for Jacob tonight.
But, it also begged the question—why hadn’t Greyvian ever taken anyone with him before?
“Where’s Sienna?” Jacob asked, looking around the room for the female.
“Sleeping. She was understandably tired after her donation.”
Greyvian’s face was neutral as, one by one, they all looked at him. She had to give it to her brother—he had really great control over his thoughts and emotions—at least, she hoped it was great control and not just that he felt nothing.
“So, what happened? What was it like?” Knox asked the two males, ever curious.
Jacob shrugged. “We went down a dark alley, I made a human Aware and then I drank from him. Greyvian stopped me from killing him and that’s that.”
There seemed to be more that the male was leaving out, some sense of ‘and then’, but neither Jacob nor Greyvian seemed inclined to explain in any more detail. They simply shared a look between them and then sat in silence.
“Can you explain the feeling to me?” Knox asked the younger male. “Grey has never been inclined to satisfy my curiosity on the subject. Just how far gone are you?”
Jacob’s eyes immediately turned black, his gaze distant. When he spoke, there was a rasp to his words that indicated his fangs were out. “Instinct took over the moment the man spoke. Before I knew it, my fangs were in his neck and it was… euphoria. Time lost all meaning. Everything around me disappeared. All I knew was the taste of that man’s blood, the feel of it travelling down my throat and throughout my body, filling me with energy. With life.”
Katarina’s eyes drifted to her brother as Jacob spoke. Was that how it was for Greyvian? Did the thought of stopping never even enter her brother’s mind? Again—if that were the case—why did he not take somebody with him whenever he went in search of blood?
“The thought of stopping never even entered my mind,” the male finished as if he had heard her thoughts, blinking a few times and shaking his head as if to rid himself of the blood lust. It seemed to work, as his eyes slowly returned to their former light grey, the pupils retracting to a normal size.
She couldn’t keep quiet. She couldn’t let the question they were probably all thinking go unasked. “If you were able to keep Jacob from killing, why do you not go with another so that they can do the same for you?”
Her brother looked into her eyes and was silent for a long time. She stared him down and wished, not for the first time, that she was able to read his emotions like she used to be able to. But there was nothing there to read now; or if there was, it was hidden behind an impenetrable wall of diffidence. When he finally spoke, his voice was neutral as ever, “If it had been that way from the beginning, perhaps that would have been possible. But not now.”
Feeling like she’d been stabbed in the heart, she knew this was all her fault. If she’d just helped him through his first taste, this could have all gone so differently. He might never have become the killer he was today.
“Why not now?” she asked, feeling lightheaded, her voice a mere whisper.
“I have my reasons,” he replied evasively.
She cast an appealing look Jacob’s way but the male threw up his hands and shook his head. “Don’t look at me. This is between the two of you.”
Feeling ill, she lapsed into silence. She couldn’t understand why her brother wouldn’t explain himself. Could he not see how much his silence wounded her? Perhaps that was his intention? Perhaps he was paying her back for the life he now lived? Perhaps she deserved it.
It was her fault he was a killer.
Greyvian ignored the tormented look his sister was directing his way. He wasn’t entirely certain why he didn’t want to tell her and the half-breeds that he could see the evil inside of humans, but perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he was already seen as a freak. He didn’t exactly want to add more fuel to the fire and give all of the full-bloods more reason to want to hunt him down and kill him. Not that it would really make that much difference. He drank human blood, needed it for survival, which was more than excuse enough for some.
Not that those present would go announcing his affliction to the world—they possibly wouldn’t even care—but he didn’t feel like explaining himself to them right now, if ever. He’d talked enough in the past 48 hours to last him the next decade and sincerely hoped that he could soon return to the solitude of his home and forget all that had happened here. Sienna, her scent, the taste of her blood, the feel of her mouth pressed to his, her soft body beneath him—those memories he could almost deal with. But her defence of him, her faith that he wasn’t beyond redemption, however naïve it might be—that was something that would haunt him to the end of time.
“What the hell do I do now?” Jacob asked suddenly, distracting him from his inner musings. “I mean, making that human Aware was an effort, so I can’t go back to my life as it was, can I? So what the hell do I do? How do I earn a living? How do I DO anything?” His son’s frustrations were clearly evident in his tone, if not by the forlorn look on his face.
“How have you made a living so far?” Lucas asked, causing Greyvian to realise that he really knew very little about his son’s life. Which was forgivable, really, seeing as the male had been unconscious ninety percent of the time they had been there.
“I teach martial arts.”
Greyvian couldn’t help but think that would come in handy.
“How many students?” Knox asked.
“Twenty or so. Three times a week and twice on Saturdays.”
The blonde’s lips tightened and he shook his head with regret. “Well, that’s out. You can sustain Awareness—with practice—but for no more than a handful of people at a time. If you’re really serious about continuing, you could scale it down to a few private lessons, but it would be damn hard work and very draining.
“I’m sure feeding every day could be just like eating food and drinking beverages—although you might be hard-pressed to get someone to go with you every time if you’re really serious about the no-killing rule. We half-breeds do have a life of our own, you know.” The smart ass smiled a teasing smile and looked back and forth between Jacob and Greyvian. “Unless Greyvian wants to hold your hand on a regular basis? You could make it a father/son bonding experience.”
Jacob’s pale eyes met Greyvian’s and he somehow knew that Jacob was wondering if it would be possible for Greyvian to feed without killing—to feed on an innocent—instead of the evil he’d grown used to. He himself had no idea if that were possible with Jacob by his side to ensure he left the human alive, but he knew that he didn’t even want to try. He’d killed enough innocents already.
As if his son could see the answer in his eyes, Jacob simply turned his attention back to Knox and brought the conversation back on topic. “So what’s my alternative lifestyle? What do you do?”
Knox laughed easily and reclined back on the sofa, spreading his arms along the top and resting an ankle on his opposite leg, the picture of arrogance. “I’ve been around for over a century. Along the way, I’ve invested wisely. Now I don’t have to DO anything.”
Jacob rolled his eyes and then looked over at Greyvian with a pained expression. “Is he always like this?”
“I think you will find that most half-breeds can tell you the same thing,” he replied with a brief look of reproach in Knox’s direction. “They’ve either made their wealth over the centuries, or they’re living off the wealth that their families invested for them. They rarely maintain any kind of prof
ession they might have started when they were human.”
Jacob looked at him with an expression of confusion. “Half-breeds? They? Like you’re something different?”
Knox burst out laughing, followed by Lucas, with a snicker or two from Katarina.
“Sorry,” Greyvian said with a grimace, ignoring the cackling. “I keep forgetting you’ve been unconscious through all the information sessions we’ve had with Sienna.”
Jacob made a face and rolled his eyes. “Great. My best friend knows more about being a vampire than I do—and she doesn’t even really need to know this shit.”
Knox laughed harder, merely shaking his head when Jacob sent a glower his way.
Deciding to go with the notion that Jacob knew nothing about vampires, Greyvian outlined the basic difference between a half-breed and a full-blood for his son. When he was finished, Jacob looked at each of them in turn, his thoughts churning visibly as he connected the dots.
Finally, Jacob sat back and looked at Knox. “So, those guys jumping us the other day—if I recall correctly—one of them said something about defiling lineage.” He looked at Greyvian, expression sombre. “I take it not everyone is on board with the whole half-breed thing?”
He hadn’t wanted Jacob to have to worry about that just yet, but he was going to find out sooner or later, and thanks to Bartlett, it appeared it would have to be sooner. “Unfortunately most full-bloods share in Bartlett’s beliefs.”
Ever the intelligent male, Jacob’s eyes darkened. “Is it the fact that we’re not full-blooded vampire’s that’s the problem, or that we’re half human?”
“Humans do not rate highly on a full-blood’s list of favoured species, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Knox confirmed.
“Not all of us are like that,” Katarina interjected, casting a mock glare in Knox’s direction. “Some of us happen to like humankind just as much as our own kind—if not more.”
Jacob made a face, judging correctly that those numbers were a minority. “Great. So I’m a half-breed vampire who also drinks human blood. Awesome. Tell me again why you saved me from being killed by my transition?”
“Would you rather be dead?”
The male seemed to think it over for a long minute and then finally sighed. “I guess not. So, you still haven’t answered my question—what the hell do I do now?”
“Now?” Greyvian asked, having already thought about it. “Now you come stay with me and learn how to defend yourself against a vampire attack. Afterwards? You’ll figure it out.”
All eyes turned toward him, every expression one of surprise or downright shock. He supposed he should have expected it since he had never given any inclination towards anything other than solitude. If he could have, he would have continued that way, but the fact of the matter was, Jacob had just reminded him that his son would be a target from now on and would need proper training—and who better to teach him than the most hunted vampire in history?
“Stay with you?” Jacob asked, the first to recover. “Why would I need to stay with you for that?”
Greyvian thought it interesting that his son—a martial arts instructor—hadn’t immediately declared that he didn’t need training, but then, Jacob had already shown himself to be an intelligent male, so he shouldn’t have been too surprised. “It’s either that or somewhere else until you can find alternate living arrangements. I figured it would just be more convenient that you live with me while we train.”
From the expression of confusion on Jacob’s face, he was beginning to rethink his opinion of his son’s intelligence. Then again, perhaps it wasn’t lack of intelligence. Perhaps it was just denial.
“Alternate living arrangements? Are you implying that I should no longer live here?”
“It’s not a matter of should or shouldn’t,” Greyvian replied, “but a fact of can’t.”
Jacob grimaced as he finally faced reality. “Sienna’s scent.”
Greyvian nodded. “You’d only end up killing her.”
Jacob nodded sombrely and looked as if his entire world was falling apart. Suddenly he looked up, eyes hopeful. “Maybe it won’t come back.”
“Doubtful,” Knox muttered, shaking his head.
His son sighed and rubbed his face as if it were all too much. “Alright. Fine. It had to happen sooner or later. I mean, I didn’t seriously think I was going to live with Sienna for the rest of our lives, so it’s not the end of the world. I mean, I’ll still see her, right?” Jacob looked from one to the other as they all remained silent. “Right?”
“Maybe,” Greyvian finally relented. He could have added that Sienna would be at risk if she and Jacob were ever seen together by the wrong vampire, but his son had suffered enough turmoil for one day. He could come to that realisation at another time.
Jacob ran a hand through his hair and then rested his hand on top of his head while looking over at Greyvian with an amused tilt to his mouth. “You know, Grey, I’m happy to be alive and all, but for Christ’s sake—next time, use a condom, would you?”
Knox and Lucas appreciated the joke, laughing as expected, but Greyvian noticed that Katarina seemed to agree with the sentiment with one hundred percent seriousness. She looked at him in such a way that told him that maybe he should become a eunuch. Ignoring that, he focused on Jacob, impressed that the male was able to reverse his mood so easily in order to see the humour in the situation. That was something he had never quite been able to manage over the centuries.
Jacob sighed and shook his head. “Live with you, huh? God, I hope you don’t live in a cave.”
* * *
Outwardly Jacob smiled and laughed at the appropriate times during the conversations over the next few hours while they waited for Sienna to wake, but inside all he could think about was the fact that when she did finally return to consciousness, he’d have to leave. They’d been in each other’s lives so long now that it seemed weird that he wouldn’t see her every day from now on. She was his best friend and the only family he had, at least until he got to know Greyvian a little better, and leaving her didn’t sit that well with him.
Would it really be that impossible to live with her without wanting to drain her dry? Knox and Lucas hadn’t ever had a problem. They were both half-breeds. Maybe there was hope? Still, they didn’t have a human diet, did they?
Christ, what did he ever do to piss the Powers That Be off so badly? Maybe it was Grey’s fault. Maybe his father had killed so many people that Karma was giving it to him good and going after his offspring for good measure. It would certainly explain Jacob’s life up until now.
He shook his head. He probably shouldn’t blame Greyvian. Sometimes life just dealt you a shitty hand and you had to make the best of it. Still, he now had no job, no place to call his own, was going to be hunted for crime of birth, and would probably only see his best friend once in a blue moon due to possibly wanting to kill her on scent. It was understandable really if he had to try hard to find the humour in the situation.
But he was trying, and thinking about anything other than the fact that he would have to leave his life for good very soon seemed to help.
Finishing the drumstick he’d been reducing to bones, he dropped it onto his plate and turned to Greyvian who sat beside him at the dining table, likewise reducing his chicken to a carcass. “Exactly what kind of training do I need to go through? I know I’m probably going to need it if Bartlett getting the drop on me is anything to go by, but what exactly can I expect? Who’s going to do the teaching?”
Conversation came to a standstill as Knox, Lucas and Katarina all perked their ears waiting for an answer, as Greyvian lowered the remains of his chicken to his plate and wiped his mouth with a paper napkin.
“I will,” he said, expression neutral. “Your martial arts experience will mean we don’t have to start with the basics, but your training will most likely have gaps. I’ll teach you how to dodge bullets, use weapons to maim or kill, and defend against fangs.”
J
esus. Never in his life would he have thought he’d have to know all that. Teaching martial arts for a living had seemed like a pretty easy job considering all the experience he’d had during his childhood, but he’d never actually had to use it for anything other than recreation since he’d become an adult. It was kind of depressing to think that he’d need it for self-defense now—on a regular basis, to boot. It was going to be like childhood all over again, except this time the bullies would want to kill him, not just beat him to a pulp.
I want to live. I want to live. I want to live. Maybe if he repeated it like a mantra, he’d feel better about the whole business of being a vampire. Surely it couldn’t be all bad?
Needing to feel like he wasn’t alone in all of this, he looked at Greyvian and asked, “I really need to know all of that? Has it really been that bad for you?”
“You can’t even begin to imagine, I’m afraid.”
Once again, Greyvian’s expression gave nothing away and he wished, not for the first time, that his father was easier to read. He’d dearly love to know how the male really felt about his existence; if it was all worth it. Not that he’d ever really entertain the idea of giving up and allowing someone to kill him. It just wasn’t in his nature. If he was going to go out, it would be on his terms, not someone else’s. Looking closely at the male, he had the feeling Greyvian felt the same way. His continued existence pretty much proved it. Feeling better about that, his thoughts turned to the why of it all.
“Surely they don’t just want to kill you because you drink human blood?” he asked. “I mean, not all of them would be that prejudiced, would they?”
Katarina answered for her brother, probably knowing more about it anyway since she actually conversed with the fiends on a regular basis. “You’d be surprised just how prejudiced some of them can be, but, no, it’s not just because of that. For some, I hear that it’s because they believe him insane—they think it will be a mercy killing. For others, it would be a claim to fame—killing the legendary freak—their words, not mine.”
Cursed Page 20