by Jenny Lee
“And if I recall correctly, you’re getting the tenth punch on your Dino punch card. His shift starts in another few hours.”
“That’s right!” I was excited now. “I wonder what my prize will be. I hope it’s something good.”
She smiled and shrugged and said she was pretty sure Dino wouldn’t disappoint me.
“Hey, Dr. Helen, do you think Elvis is telling the truth? About him being the president’s dog? Or do you think I have the one talking dog who is also a big fat liar?”
“Don’t you worry—I’m sure your mom will get to the bottom of the whole dog situation, and if she can’t find any answers, she can call me and I’d be happy to email Action Jaxin to see if he could help us. In the meantime, just focus on the positive, which is you don’t have to wear the helmet as long as he’s here. I personally get a very good vibe from him.”
There weren’t any private rooms left in pediatrics, so Dr. Helen put us on the fourth floor, which was a mixed bag of patients. I’ve been on pretty much every floor of the hospital—well, except the subbasement floor, but that’s the morgue, and you don’t want to get assigned there, because you’d be dead, and that’d be a huge bummer. Normally it’s a big deal to get a private room, but Dr. Helen calls in some favors, and a regular shared room is too small for us, mainly because my mom takes up a lot of space with her big personality, and she always insists on spending the night on a cot next to me whenever I have to sleep over. And now that we also had to share the room with a giant dog, we were definitely never going to fit in a regular room.
My mom keeps a duffel bag of stuff in the trunk of her car that she uses to schjuzz every room I stay in. She puts up two framed pictures with command tape on the wall. One of them is our family portrait from three years ago, and it’s one of my favorite pictures, because every single person in the photo is looking somewhere different than at the camera. I was looking up because the twins told me they just saw a bald eagle (they were lying). My dad was looking down at the ground, my mom was looking at me, and one of the twins was looking right and the other one was looking left. Obviously, this isn’t the picture we used for our Christmas card that year, but when I saw it, it made me laugh really hard. I feel like it says a lot about our family. We’re a family, but we’re all totally different. Anyway, my mom enlarged and framed the picture for me, and she puts it up for me whenever I’m away from home. She also has a sticker of a fake window looking out on a sunny day, and she puts up these curtains around the sticker window.
She says it’s too depressing to be in a windowless room. It’s all kind of silly, and totally unnecessary, especially for such a short overnight stay, but I don’t mind telling you I like that she does it. Because I’ve spent so much time at this hospital that it sort of feels like my very own room in my home away from home. Anyway, she was just done putting the final touches on my room when we were called to radiology.
You find all types in the radiology waiting room. CT scans are big machines, and you can get a scan of any and all parts of your body. You can even get your whole body scanned. As this was not my first time at the rodeo, I knew the drill, so I wasn’t too nervous. Now, how it works in a hospital is they do the most important cases first, and obviously my case was not an emergency, so we were in for a long wait. When my mom looked at her watch for the zillionth time, I got a little curious, and then I figured it out.
“Hey, Mom, don’t you have book club tonight?” I asked. My mom loves book club.
“What? Oh, yeah, I guess so. But that’s okay.”
“What book did you read?”
“We were supposed to read Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, but I didn’t finish it. Why Marge Rosenfeld had to pick a thousand-page book I’ll never know. But I have the CliffsNotes in my purse.”
“Mom, isn’t the whole point of book club to actually read the book?”
“Benji, book club isn’t about the book. It’s about women getting together to talk about our lives with an assortment of baked goods nearby. And wine. But don’t you worry, it’s okay if I skip one.”
“What are you talking about? You can’t miss book club. You never miss book club. You started book club, and remember how you told everyone that the key to a successful book club is to never miss?”
“We’ll see, maybe I’ll go, but if I do, I’ll come back right afterward.”
“Mom, you don’t have to come back after book club. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You don’t want me to come back? At all?”
My mom stared at the dog and then stared back at me. I couldn’t tell exactly what was going on in her head, but it didn’t seem good. She walked over and patted Elvis on the head.
“What about Elvis?” she asked. “He’s going to need something for dinner, and someone has to walk him.”
“Mom, I wasn’t going to let him starve, plus didn’t you say you fed him three bags of Doritos from the cafeteria?”
“I didn’t offer him three bags—he actually grabbed three bags on his own and put them by me at the register when I was getting my coffee. It really was quite remarkable.”
“Mom, just go. I’ll be fine. Dino will help me with Elvis. I’ve stayed at the hospital a million times. Besides, it’s almost six, and Dino will be here soon. And it’s my tenth punch, so I’ll get a prize. I’ll page him, I promise.”
I was about to push my mom out, when the waiting room door opened and out came Taisy McDonald, followed by her dad. After I’d run into her two weeks ago, I’d looked her up online and read the Sports Illustrated magazine article about her. I learned a lot in that article, mainly that it’s not all that surprising how good she is in sports. Not only is her dad Big Tate McDonald, but Taisy’s mom was a college basketball superstar. She helped the United States win an Olympic gold medal twenty years ago.
Big Tate led Taisy to a seat and went back into the office, leaving her alone in the waiting room. She didn’t look very happy. Since she was at radiology again, it probably meant she hadn’t told her dad the truth about her elbow. It was weird to run into her again at the hospital, and I wondered why I couldn’t ever run into her somewhere fun like SuperDuperScooper. But I have to say I was still pretty excited. This was probably the first bit of good luck I’d had since losing my lucky titanium lug nut. I would’ve said the dog was my first bit of good luck, but the jury was still out about how that was going to work.
“Doesn’t that little girl over there go to your school?” My mom nudged me.
“Little? She’s hardly little. She’s probably almost as tall as you are!”
“Why don’t you go say hi?”
“What? No way. Mom, no, she barely knows who I am. I’ve only talked to her once before. Plus she saw me in my helmet, so I kinda wish she never saw me at all. I mean, of all the people to have to see me in that thing, why did it have to be Taisy McDonald?”
“Wait, why do I know her name?”
“Probably because she’s in the paper all the time.”
“Oh, is she the star athlete girl?”
“Yup, that’s her all right. Her mom is an Olympic gold medalist, and her dad was a football player.”
“If she’s in your class, of course she knows who you are.”
“Mom, she does know who I am, but this is a hospital, not a playground. So let’s not cause a scene, okay? Please don’t do this.”
“Do what? What am I doing?”
Uh-oh, this was breaking bad, and fast. The more you disagree with my mom, the louder she gets. There was no way around it. My mother was going to embarrass me. And as if on cue, Taisy looked up and turned her head in our direction. My mom smiled and waved at her like our house was on fire and she was waving over the fire trucks. Now I had no choice, so I waved at her too. Elvis, not wanting to miss anything, sat up and looked over at Taisy too. You’re not going to believe this, and I say this because I barely believed it, but Elvis picked up his paw and did a wave too. I was about to point it out to my mom, but then I thought it
was best to keep these things to myself.
Taisy’s eyes grew big. A huge smile took over her entire face, and she returned our waves with the biggest wave ever. It was like she used her entire arm. It was by far the warmest, happiest greeting I’ve ever seen. Of course, I soon found out that expression on her face wasn’t for me. It was for Elvis. Some dogs have all the luck. With her superlong legs, Taisy crossed the room in two seconds.
“Who is this puppadooberry cutie? Wow! I love him. He’s so big and fuzzy. What’s his name?”
“This is Parker Elvis Pembroke IV, but I call him Elvis.” My mom elbowed me, and I glared. “And this is my mom. I call her . . . Mom, actually.”
Taisy laughed. “Still funny, I see. Nice to meet you, Benji’s mom.” She shook my mom’s hand, which I’m sure my mom loved. She’s big on good manners.
Of course, when it comes to manners, my mom wants everyone else to have them, but when it comes to her, there are clearly no rules or boundaries. Instead of just shaking her hand like a normal person, my mom pulled Taisy in for a big, warm hug.
“Hi, Taisy, it’s so wonderful to meet you. I love meeting all my baby Benji’s friends.”
Taisy took the whole hug thing much better than I did. In fact, I was freaking out just watching it. I didn’t know what would ruin my life more, my mom hugging her or the fact that my mom had just called me “baby” in front of Taisy McDonald! Before I could say anything, Taisy hugged Elvis.
“Parker Elvis Pembroke IV, what a great name. Aren’t you a cutie-wootie? Aren’t you the furriest bestest baby in da whole wide world? Who’s da baby? You are. You are.”
And again she buried her face in his neck fur. Elvis clearly enjoyed the attention, because his tail wagged so hard it kept whacking me on the leg and created enough of a breeze to make my hair move.
“Look at you. Who’s got a big head? Who’s got the biggest, cutest head in the whole world? Huh? You are the handsomest doggy ever. You are, yes, you are. Oh you are so lucky, Benj.”
She’d called me Benj again! No one calls me Benj, but when she says it, I always feel like I’ve had been Benj my whole life. My mom elbowed me and raised her eyebrows. I knew she wanted me to say something back, but I glared at her to stop pushing! In a million years, I never expected to hear Taisy McDonald baby-talking to a dog, let alone calling me Benj. This was a completely different Taisy from the girl I’d talked to two weeks ago.
“So, what brings you to the radiology department?” I said. Okay, so out of everything I could have possibly said, that was probably the stupidest thing I could have said.
“I had to get a scan of my elbow.”
My mom was in there before I could even reply. “Oh no, honey, that’s too bad. I’m sure it will be fine soon. I know how scary that must be for you, because you’re such an amazing athlete. Benji’s older brothers play sports too.”
“Oh, thank you. But don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be fine. My dad always goes a little overboard about these things.”
“I know it seems that way, but he only does it because he loves you so much.”
I could tell my mom was stressing Taisy out, so I felt like I had to get in there to save her.
“So Taisy, don’t you feel like those big MRI machines kinda look like giant bread machines? What’s your favorite kind of bread?”
Taisy and my mom gave me a weird look. I shrugged. I don’t know why I said it either. I just opened my mouth and it came out. But it is totally true. Those machines look and sound like bread machines. I always feel like a piece of dough going in there.
“Uh, I guess my favorite bread is raisin walnut bread.”
“Mine too. I mean, except for the walnuts. If I ate a walnut, I could die. But raisins and me? We’re tight.” I crossed my fingers for emphasis. “Yeah, some of my best friends are raisins.” Whoa, why couldn’t I shut up?
“Benji has a nut allergy.” My mom tried to help me out of the hole I was clearly busy digging for myself.
Taisy was totally unfazed. “So how is it that I didn’t know you had such a supercool dog?”
“Oh, that’s because he’s new. I just got him. Like, today. He’s my new therapy dog. I got him so I don’t have to wear that helmet anymore.”
“Really? That’s awesome. He’s the best dog I’ve ever seen. Well, besides my dog, Princess Daisy, but since she’s not here, I can tell you right now your dog is just as cute. I love dogs. I wish I could get a second one, but my dad says one is enough. And with all my practicing, I barely get to see my one dog enough as it is.”
“Taisy, hon. We need to go.” Taisy’s dad came out from the back, calling her from the other side of the waiting room. He had a really deep voice, kind of like thunder. Taisy stood up, but not before kissing Elvis all over his face.
“Coming, Dad. I was just saying hi to my friend Benj.” Taisy turned to me. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at school later this week?”
I didn’t even hear what she said, mainly because I was still in shock that she had called me her friend Benj, to her dad. That meant an actual real-life sports hero with two Super Bowl rings knew that his daughter had a friend named Benj. My mom nudged me to answer.
“What? Sorry, what did you say?”
“Will you be at school tomorrow?”
“Probably not tomorrow, but definitely the day after.”
Okay, I really wanted to call her Tais, like how she called me Benj, but by the time I decided to go for it, they were already gone. As soon as the door closed, I whipped around and faced my mom.
“Mom, we need to have a little talk. You know I don’t like you calling me ‘baby’ period, but you can never ever ever call me ‘baby’ in front of other people, okay?”
“You’re overreacting! I’m sure Taisy’s dad calls her ‘baby’ too.”
“I don’t care what Taisy’s dad calls her. I only care what you call me in front of Taisy, okay?”
“Why, do you like Taisy?”
“Mom! Stop! Forget I said anything.”
Talk about being saved by the bell. The nurse called out my name.
“Okay, I’m going to go, but I’m definitely going to come back. I don’t want my baby to be alone.”
“I. Am. Not. Your. Baby! I can take care of myself. Well, I mean, for a night I can. You know what I mean. And speaking of that, I wanted to let you know that I’ve decided I’m old enough to stay overnight here on my own. Like starting tonight.”
“First off, you are, and you will always will be, my baby. Even when you’re twenty-five, you’re still going to be my baby, and you know it. And if you don’t want me to stay overnight, I guess I don’t have to.” My mom sounded brave, but I could tell I’d hurt her feelings a little. “And today is your first day with Elvis, and maybe you need help. I mean, do we really know if he’s able to care for you properly?”
Elvis answered my mom with a short bark. My mom startled and looked at him.
“How strange. It’s as if he understood I was talking about him.”
“Well, you did say his name, and dogs like these can probably read the tone of your voice. Maybe he can tell you’re not happy. Mom, I’m sorry if I—”
“Don’t say another word. I understand.”
I sighed. She was doing that rapid blinking thing she does when she’s trying not to cry. My mom says all emotionally intelligent people are criers, and that it’s actually good for you. But when she is trying not to cry in public, she blinks. Then her top lip starts to quiver, and then if she starts fanning her eyes, it’s all over. But sometimes she gets it all under control with the blinking. Today, lucky for me, was one of those days. It’s not that I didn’t want her to stay. I love my mom more than anyone and anything in the entire world. I just wanted a little space. She needed one more nudge, but a gentle one this time.
“C’mon, Mom. Go have fun at your book club talking about Anna Can-ya-pass-me-some-more-cake-’cause-I-didn’t-read-the-book.”
She laughed. “It’s Anna Karenina
, and I read the first chapter.”
“Mom, it’s nothing personal, but tonight’s my tenth punch on my punch card and Dino is going to get me a surprise, and I’m just afraid if you’re here he might, you know.”
“What, what do I know?”
“Mom, he might not do anything all that fun, because he’ll be too afraid of you. Please, Mom, I want to stay alone. I mean, with Elvis. I’ll pretend it’s a sleepover.”
My mom made a face when I said this. I’d struck a chord with her, because she always tells me that when she was younger, her favorite thing was slumber parties, and we both knew I’d never been invited to one.
Well, that clinched the deal. She stood up to leave and gave me a huge hug. “Mom, can’t breathe. I’ll see you tomorrow. It’s just one night.”
She nodded and quickly walked to the door. At the doorway, she turned around and blew me a kiss. I smiled and said good-bye. She blew me another kiss, and then another, and then another, until I pretended to catch one in my hand and smush it on my cheek. This is what we used to do a million years ago, when I was a little kid and she had finished tucking me into bed. It felt silly doing that at ten years old. But it made her happy, so I did it.
7
When Dino works the night shift, he takes his lunch break around three or four in the morning. I was hoping he’d show up and give me my surprise then. I slept on and off, but it’s not so easy to sleep in a hospital. You hear lots of voices and banging from the hallway, and nurses wake you every few hours to take your temperature and blood pressure. So I was half asleep when the first paper airplane sailed into the room. I didn’t even see it. But Elvis, who was asleep on the floor next to me, sat up suddenly.
“What was that?” he asked. His tone of voice was very serious.
“What was what?” I mumbled, sitting up.
“I heard something. Shhhhhh.”
“I didn’t hear an—”
“Shhhhhhhh!”
Okay, no one likes getting shushed in general. But getting shushed by your own dog? Even more annoying.