by Mia Madison
“Eggs for me,” she says and I add it to our order.
“I thought you wanted a surprise.”
“I'm surprised you didn't order eggs,” she says and laughs and then she resumes teasing me with her mouth.
***
After breakfast, I take her home.
“Your dad's not going to like this. You know that.”
“I know, but Mum will talk to him.”
“Your mother knows?” Fuck! Then Brian will already know too. I can imagine him coming out and meeting us with a shotgun, running me off his land. But then I shake my head. I'm over dramatizing. Brian is a reasonable guy. They live in a quiet suburban street in Oxfordshire. It's not like we are going to stage a shoot-out over his daughter on the front lawn.
“Mum guessed last night. She told me to be careful. I told her I'm a big girl now. I'll be able to deal with it when you go back to your lady-killer ways.”
“Who says I'm ever going back to my lady-killer ways as you call them?”
“A leopard never changes his spots.”
“You know being a lady-killer is not all it's cracked up to be. It's not a patch on being in love with a girl like you.”
I look over at her. She's looking at me, her eyes wide. “Did you say...?”
“I did. I love you Madilyn. I think I always have. But I love you more now and in a completely different way.”
“Many different ways as I recall,” she says and grins. “You know I always had a crush on you?”
“You did?”
“You were my knight in shining armor when I was growing up but it was when I saw you in the hall naked that night when I was home from college, it really started to get serious.”
I burst out laughing. “That was wrong on so many levels, you seeing me like that.”
“Not sure about wrong but definitely hot.”
“The way you looked at me. I thought you were shocked and nothing else.”
“Shocked and...er...aroused.”
“I’m sorry I shocked you.”
“I'm not.”
I turn into her street. “I'll come in with you. We may as well get this over with and face the music.”
“No. Please don't come in now. Let's have a few more days of calm before the shit hits the fan. I just want to enjoy you.”
I let her have her way.
But what you want and what you get are not always the same.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Madilyn
When I go in, there’s a houseful of people. Mum is in the kitchen, preparing lunch for my aunties and uncles who are staying with us after the party and Sarah is helping her.
“Nice of you to show up,” Sarah says. “While you've been enjoying yourself you've left Mum with all this to do.”
“Don't worry, Madilyn, I've got it. Everyone would help if I asked them,” Mum says. “You know I like cooking for everyone. Your sister was just out having a little fun, Sarah. She needs it after the rough time she's had.”
“Do you know who she's been having fun with? Jack! Don't look like that Madilyn. I saw you at the party. You were all over him when you thought no one was looking. Dad's going to go mad when he finds out.”
“I know about Jack but Dad doesn't and you're not to tell him,” Mum says.
“And then when you didn't come home last night, I knew who you were with...You just broke off your engagement.” Sarah won't shut up.
I blush. I can't help it. It strikes me Sarah is jealous but I don't say anything back. It's useless trying to argue with her. I just shrug hoping that's the end of it.
Dad comes in, bottles clanking.
“Oh great you got the beer and wine,” Mum says. “I forgot how much a crowd can get through.”
He sets the bags down on the kitchen counter and Mum grumbles he's taking up all the space she needs to prepare lunch.
“I called you when I was out, Madilyn,” he says. “You didn't answer your phone so I popped in at Carrie's. I thought you might like a lift home but Mrs. Henchard said she hadn't seen you. Where have you been all night?”
Shit, I haven't looked at my phone since yesterday. I bet Carrie has been texting to warn me too. I don't know what to say. I look up and Sarah has that “told you so” gleam in her eyes. Miss Goody Two Shoes.
“You were with Jack, weren't you?” Dad says, quietly like it's something so shameful he doesn't want anyone in the living room to get wind of it.
My cheeks are crimson. I'm sure of it. I can hardly breathe. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.
“So it's true,” Dad says. “I saw you with him last night. You said you were just talking but I had my suspicions. And then later, you kept looking at him like there was something going on. Madilyn for God's sake he's far too old for you and apart from that, I know he's my friend (or he was), but the man is all over women. I just didn't think he'd sink so low as to make a play for you.”
“It's not like that.”
“You tell me then. What is it like?”
“He's a great guy. You know that. I like him.”
“But he's not a great guy with women. He'll swallow you up and spit you out. Believe me I know. I've seen him over the years. As a fireman I trust him with my life but as a date for my daughter I don't trust him an inch.”
Why isn't Mum saying anything? Perhaps because she agrees with Dad or doesn't want to go against him.
“You're wrong. He cares about me. I know he does,” I say, but at the back of my mind I'm wondering if that’s true. Perhaps he gives all the women he's with the same line he gave me.
“He cares about you, Madilyn, yes but not enough to leave you alone. Were you with him all night? Don't tell me you slept with him!”
My silence says it all.
“Jeez, Madilyn, I don't believe it. How could you be so stupid? He's only just back here. You were an easy target, young and single. Don't you see? It's exactly how he operates. I could strangle him right now. But it will be over before it begins. You mark my words. I'm only sorry that he's hurt you, that I didn't think to warn you last night.”
“It's not over. He's taking me out tonight.”
“Over my dead body. You're not going.”
“I'm twenty-two, Dad, what are you gonna do? Ground me?”
“If I have to.”
“That's ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous or not, you're not seeing him. After everyone goes home, I'll go and set him straight so just forget it.”
I want to stomp and slam doors like a teenager. Dad is going to wreck everything. It was bad breaking up with Duncan but this feels worse. How can it hurt this much after less than a day of being with Jack, feeling what it is like in his arms? But it does. I'll have to see Jack in secret. To hell with Dad.
But when I hear from Jack, it's even worse than I thought.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Jack
I knew it was coming. The first meeting with Brian after he found out. The awkwardness. I just didn't expect it to go quite as badly as it did. I thought we could work through it but apparently, that's not happening. Stalemate. I didn’t realize his younger sister had had an affair with an older guy when Brian was still at home. The man led her on for years before he left his wife only to marry someone his own age. His sister has never found anyone else. I kept trying to tell Brian that’s not me, that I’m not married, that I’d never do that to Madilyn but I don’t think he was listening.
His words are still ringing in my ears. “Stay away from my daughter or there's no way we can work together or be friends. And she can stay away too if she's with you.”
I think him wanting Madilyn to stay away if she keeps seeing me is an idle threat. But the friends thing. I know that will be true. And if he feels like that, we can’t work together. Firefighters can’t fall out. We need to trust each other with our lives like brothers. Brian saved my life once. And I would save his again and again. But any kind of dispute is dangerous when we rely on each other so much.
Shit! Why can't he just see how much I care for Madilyn and will never hurt her?
I tried to explain. “Brian, your daughter means the world to me. Your whole family does.”
“It doesn't seem like it to me. You know she's only twenty-two. She has her whole life ahead of her and she hardly knows her own mind. She was engaged a week ago. Hey, you didn't have a hand in that too, did you?”
“Of course not. What do you take me for?”
“Well, just see that you leave her alone. Don't text her, don't call her, don't see her.”
“I'll have to explain to her.”
“Don't worry. I'll do all the explaining you need to do.”
I text Madilyn anyway when Brian leaves. Surely he can't hold that against me.
“Your father is adamant I don't contact you but I had to send you this so you know I'm still trying to make him see reason and that I care for you. A lot. And I won't abandon you. I'm going to have to turn down the job at the local station. I can't take it with all this going on. Will look for one closer than Liverpool though xx until I can see you again. Jack.”
***
I can't bear to be apart from Madilyn. I have to make her father see sense. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to change his mind.
I apply for a firefighter job in Redford. It's twenty miles away but it’s the nearest vacancy I can find and they are happy to have an experienced firefighter join them. I wish I could be back with Brian and the old crowd but there's no way that's going to work at the moment. Not while his back is up and he's forbidding me to see his daughter. Still, the crew at the new place are great guys too.
I text Madilyn all the time and call her but I don't take her out. I really don't want to go behind Brian's back, not after all the times we've shared, the guy who saved my life. I wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for him. But my need for Madilyn is too great to drop this whole thing. I won't give her up. I can't.
After a month of hoping Brian will come around, of seeing Madilyn every time I close my eyes, of thinking about her at home, at work, in bed, in the shower, the image tormenting me and making me hard like a teenager discovering girls for the first time, I can't wait any longer, so I send Brian a text. “I hope you understand I have to see Madilyn. I love your daughter. I'm sorry if you don't like it but that's the way it is. I'd like to take her out on Friday. Will you allow it even if you don't like it?”
But all I get back is. “No way.”
Can I persuade him before Friday? I doubt it but I have to try once more. I text him to ask if he'll meet me for a beer to talk about it.
The reply comes back. “I'll meet you for a beer any time, Jack, but only once Madilyn is off the agenda.”
This is a fucking nightmare. How can I make him see how good Madilyn and I are for each other? He has Paula. He thinks I don't need anyone but since the night of the party with Madilyn I know how much is missing from my life. Then I get a message from her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Madilyn
I can see Dad is hurting and it's all my fault. I came home and made trouble for him and Jack. I should just leave again.
If I knew where to go I would. I spend most of the first two weeks after the party in my room reliving that night. The whole time with Jack was so special, the way we made love, the way we talked, the way we laughed together. There will never be anyone else like him.
But there's no point in moping around all the time. It's not helping me feel any better about what's going on. I try to keep busy looking for work. I need something to take my mind off it all and I can't ask Dad for money. After a few days, I find a job in a clothing boutique. Jack made me see something I never saw by myself—how much I'll enjoy working with clothes.
I hit it off with Gemma the owner at the interview. She liked the blouse and skirt I wore and was impressed when I told her I made them myself. There's a chance she might commission me to make some things for the boutique but, in any case, I walk out of the interview with a job and she wants me to start right away.
At least something is going right. I won't earn that much but it's something and Carrie and I talk about finding a place together. I just don't know how that would work out. With her and Tom being such an item now, I'll end up like a third wheel.
Despite all that going on, whenever I'm alone I can't help feeling down about the situation with Jack, and the more I think about it, the more I expect him to give up on me. Why would he bother sticking by me when having a relationship with me is so much trouble? I am the reason why he's not friends with Dad any more when they've been friends forever. I'm the reason he couldn't take the job he wanted, the job he came all the way back here for. I'm the reason we are all miserable.
I think he was serious when he talked about the future. I can't believe he wasn't sincere the way he talked to me and the way he looked at me but surely that’s all changed now. He texts and calls me but he won't go against Dad. I'm beginning to hate their stupid firefighter past that made them so loyal to each other. It's been a month and this is going nowhere. So, though there are tears in my eyes as I do it, I do what I have to do—what I should have done two weeks ago—and text Jack.
“I think I should let you go. I'm just creating trouble for you. It's time for both of us to move on. Madilyn”
But a text message comes right back. “No way. We're going out on Friday. Whatever your dad says.”
He's going against Dad for me? I don't know whether to be happy or sad. Nothing about this is right.
The next day at work I have an exceptionally good day. After I help one customer find the perfect outfit for her son's wedding, accessories and all, and she goes away happy, Gemma says I have a gift for seeing what looks will work for people and she's delighted she took me on.
“See, you're okay without him,” Dad says when he finds me smiling that day. I was thinking about the woman in her new clothes and how grateful she was.
I pull a face. “I'd be even happier with him.”
“Maybe you would be in the short term but it won’t last. You know that. How many women have you seen him with?”
“A lot over the years, but Dad didn't you go with a lot of women before you found Mum?”
“Not as many as Jack.”
“But some?”
“Yes some.”
“Maybe you were just luckier than him.”
“Or more sensible. He picked Julie. That was never right.”
“And you think I'm wrong for him?”
“No, I don't think you're wrong for him, sweetheart. I can't blame him for wanting you but I don't want your life ruined by being tied to a guy who is so much older than you. You should be growing up with your partner, making mistakes together, same as I did with your mum.”
“Maybe we can still do that. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Yes, but not with one of my daughters.”
Mum commiserates with me later that night. “I thought I could bring your father around over time but he's being so stubborn about this. I almost think he's jealous of Jack having such a young girlfriend. It didn't go down well when I accused him of that though so I didn't press it.”
“Thanks anyway, Mum. I don't know what to do. Jack is the guy for me. I know it. I know him so well and I can see how well we get on together but Dad just doesn't want to see it.”
“Are you seeing him anyway despite what Dad says?”
“I was hoping it wouldn't come to that and Jack was too, but I'm seeing him on Friday. That's over a month of waiting for Dad to see reason. I don't think a month has ever been so long. I think I'll have to move out.”
Mum shrugs. “If that's what you have to do maybe your dad will understand in the end. You know what he's like. He's so protective of you girls.”
“Dad says he won't see me again if I go out with Jack.”
“He might threaten all kinds of things but he doesn't mean it. He loves you too much to cut you off completely just because you took a decision he didn't like.
Thinking about it, he didn't like Duncan much either. Perhaps he wouldn't be happy whoever you choose.”
“He was right about Duncan though.”
“Yes, he was. I wasn’t sure about Duncan either but once you were engaged it was too late to say anything. I still have my reservations about Jack but I can see the two of you need the chance to find out one way or another.”
No matter what Dad thinks, tomorrow night I'll see Jack. I can't wait to see him again and feel his arms around me now I know he means to take me out despite anything Dad says.
But sometimes fate has other plans.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jack
It has been the worst and best of months. The month I fell in love with Madilyn. And the month when I had to stay away from her trying to get Brian to change his mind, hoping he would accept I want to be with his daughter and that I care for her. But that hasn't happened.
Why can’t Brian see how being with Madilyn and loving her has changed me from the man I was? I'm no longer the man who sleeps with a woman and moves on to the next without a thought. I see women all the time in the street, at the store and in the line of duty but no other woman than Madilyn interests me now. I want her and only her. And I will never let her down.
I have lusted after many. But it's different with Madilyn. I want to spend time with her, to see her, to talk to her, to hold her and look after her as well as take her to my bed.
It kills me to remember how we were together and not to be able to see her every night. I can't feel her sweet mouth on mine. I can't hold her in my arms. And I can't bury myself deep inside her and feel her clench around me. I can't hear her call out in pleasure as she gives everything to me. Except at night when I close my eyes. Sometimes it's easier when we are called out in the night so I'm exhausted by the time I get to bed.
I don't think Brian will reconcile himself to me and Madilyn getting together anytime soon. Perhaps he will come around in the end once he sees we are serious, how much I care about her. But not yet and I'm hoping his objections don't sour every good thing about my relationship with Madilyn before it even has a chance. The text she sent me already shows she’s wavering a bit.