by Brad Watson
SO SHE WENT back to work. Made it seem like time was standing still. Time hung in the space between Frank’s coming and Frank’s going, she knew it would be just a patch of time that would disappear as if it never happened. Nothing but up in the early morning to cook for the Urquharts, then clean up and dust and wash clothes and cook again, dinner and supper, then make her way on back to her little cabin where Frank would be on the front porch smoking, his feet up on the rail, and waiting on her and a late supper for himself. He’d eat it out there, weather permitting, and then they’d go on into the cabin and to bed. She could see him getting bored, restless. He’d wake up in the middle of the night and she’d wake up at some point and see him sitting there beside the bedroom window, looking out. She loved the look of his body in the faint light from the window, just a shadow of the man, his shape, liked the way the memory of his shape stayed in her mind when she couldn’t see him, perfect like that.
-Don’t be sitting up, she said to him. -Come on back to bed, now.
-What is it? she said when he climbed back in silent and staring at the ceiling.
-Need something, he mumbled.
-I’ll give you what you need.
After a minute,
-Need something, I don’t know. I ain’t got nothing.
-You got me.
-We ain’t got nothing, woman.
She said nothing.
-I need to make me some money, one thing, he said.
-Well, who don’t.
-I got some ideas.
-Like what.
-I don’t know. Just ideas.
-We got a little money saved, she said.
-Nothing, he said. -I got more money in this tooth in the back of my head than you got stuffed in this mattress.
She’d every now and then take a pot of greens out to the cabin, kindly forget to bring it back next day, never the best pot, but one she’d used from way back in the cupboard, one Miss Birdie wouldn’t miss. One old skillet with rust spots she scrubbed down real good, reseasoned, and made the bread in then set in the windowsill empty and slipped back to the house to take it out the window from the shrub bed late at night. These she took on this and that weekend out to Aunt Vish, who took the item, held it before her at arm’s length to inspect it, nodded, set it down on the porch beside her. The Sunday afternoon she took the skillet out, she saw a twitch in the corner of Vish’s mouth.
-That’s better than the old one I got, she said, taking it and holding it in her lap to study it. She hefted it and set it back in her lap. -Bigger, too.
Then instead of setting the skillet down beside her feet she rocked a couple of times and launched herself feebly out of her chair with the skillet held before her and went into her cabin. Creasie, standing on the porch, heard her hard bare feet shuffling inside, heard the gentle clank of the skillet as she guessed Vish set it down on top of her stove. In a minute she came back out and handed Creasie a little snuff tin.
-Put just a pinch in a glass of tap water, pour just a little dash of vinegar in there, drink it first thing in the morning, she said. Seven days, she said. Don’t do it no longer than seven days, now, you hear me?
-Yes, ma’am. Seven days.
She took it home, started the next morning, using some vinegar she’d brought over from the Urquhart house in a little jar. She dipped water from the bucket of water she’d pumped at the well beside her porch steps, opened the snuff tin, and sniffed first. There was a light sandy-colored powder in there, like pale ground mustard or something, had no odor she could make out. She sneezed, blew her nose. Then took a pinch and dropped it into the cup of water, poured about a teaspoon of vinegar in, and drank it down. She stood there a minute, very still, but felt nothing but just a faint little ball of heartburn from the vinegar, which subsided. Went on over to the house to work. Same thing next morning, standing there, nothing. Same thing next morning. Frank standing in the kitchen door watching her, said, -What is that?
-Nothing, she said. -Just a remedy Aunt Vish give me.
-What’s ailing you?
-Nothing much, she said, unable to look at him. -Just a little ache in my bones.
Same thing the fourth day and the fifth. On the afternoon of the sixth day she was on her hands and knees in Miss Birdie’s bathroom scrubbing the tile floor and up out of her before she even knew she felt a thing funny came a quick gush of something yellow with little streaks and spots of red. She felt something lower down inside her then and quick got up onto the toilet, frightened not only of what was happening but that Miss Birdie might come back and see her sitting on her toilet and fire her right then and there. Same as up top, a little gush then fell from her into the toilet, and she was afraid to even look at it, her eyes tearing up anyway. She quick wiped herself and flushed, and it was only that she forgot to put the paper into the toilet and accidentally looked down and saw it in her hand that she knew it was a dull dark dried-blood brown, and she made a little cry and dropped it into the toilet, quickly cleaned up what she’d thrown up with toilet paper and then her scrubbing sponge, and wrung out the sponge in the tub, flushed the toilet, and scrubbed out the tub then.
-What’s the matter with you? Miss Birdie said to her when she came through the kitchen on her way out to rinse the bucket at the faucet tap outside.
-No’m, she said, just feeling a little puny. I’ll be all right.
Frank walked two miles and borrowed a pickup truck from Whit Caulder and drove her into town that night and waited in the truck while she walked down into the ravine and knocked on Vish’s door. Vish came to the door with her coal oil lamp and cracked it, looked out, said nothing.
-I’m scared, Aunt Vish, she said. -That potion made me throw up, and blood like something came out me down there, too.
Vish said nothing, stood watching her with her head stuck just barely out the door, her eyes moving up and down her, like examining her feet and then her hands and then her face again.
-Best not take the rest, then, she said.
-Am I going to be all right? She was near tears, her voice tight.
Vish nodded after a moment.
-You be all right.
They stood there saying nothing. She was afraid to ask, then made herself.
-Is it going to work then?
Vish looked at her, her brow bunched up then, like she was mad. Then that look went away.
-Now what you think, girl?
Creasie stood there composing herself. No longer about to cry. Just feeling washed out.
-No, Vish said as she closed the door and went back inside, leaving her there on the porch. -You go home and rest awhile, if you can. Ain’t going to be no babies.
The door closed to, and she heard the dry sound of Vish’s feet shuffling off. She heard the tap tap at the truck’s horn from Frank, waiting. He was leaning against the driver’s side door when she came out of the trail, and he helped her into the passenger seat and climbed in and started it up, turned on the headlights.
-Well, what’d you get this time? he said.
-Hmmm? she said.
-What did you get from the crazy old woman this time?
She looked at him, a man who might as well be a stranger driving her somewhere, so unfamiliar he looked to her in the dark inside the truck at that moment, so strange the whole scene, him driving her somewhere, which he’d never done.
-The truth, she said then. -The truth is what I got this time.
Frank mumbled to himself as he pulled them into the road headed back out to the Urquharts’.
-Be crazy as that old witch yourself, you keep coming here, he said.
ONE EVENING SHE went back to the cabin and Frank wasn’t there, and wasn’t there the next day either. A little crazy with fear, and starting to panic, she burned meals and dropped a dish, Miss Birdie scolding, stood there looking at Creasie, shaking her head. Then mumbled something to herself and sat down at the table.
-You know Earl has gone and bought that old colored dummy back from whoever Mr. Ur
quhart sold it to and put it back out in the shed. Here we are scraping by, Earl putting everything he can back into the business and not even giving me enough to buy groceries half the time, and he up and pays somebody two hundred dollars for an old nigra dummy. It’s crazy!
That afternoon she went out to the shed but it was locked. She could barely see, tears blurring her eyes. She put her lips to the little crack beside the hasp lock and whispered, -Frank? Nothing. But such a chilled breeze came out there against her lips it scared her. She went on back to the house and there was nothing there, no sound in there and no light. Bedding thrown off onto the floor, stuffing in the mattress hanging out, her little flour sack full of dollar bills gone. And on the kitchen table a gold tooth with a little blood at the root, and nothing else.
Blood
OUT AT THE lake in February to split some firewood, Earl remembered a day when he was maybe fourteen or fifteen, and like this raising an ax (in their backyard, then) for stovewood, some kind of old flivver goes by, and froze him like a statue. By God I’ll have me one of those one day, and get the hell out of Dodge, he said to himself. Said to his father one day, If I had me a car, I’d be out on my own and you wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore. Junius says, Let me tell you something, an automobile is like a woman and you’ll be ready for one when you’re ready for the other. I’m ready, Earl’d said. You’re ready, Junius said. You’re ready, you say. Let me tell you what you’re ready for then. You’re ready to be beholden to maintenance for the rest of your life. Maintenance, son. Once you got a woman or an automobile, you don’t work for yourself anymore. You work for maintenance.
Now, in his fifty-fifth year, raising the ax above his head and thinking in that moment nothing but strike, split, you motherfucker—angry then at he didn’t know what, just everything—just at that moment it felt like his chest collapsed, everything in him, his entire weight and substance, compressed down within its walls, and an instant later ran up his arms and out into nothing. Then he was on the ground. Knowing somehow he lay there beside the pile of split chunks he’d cut, his face in the iron-rich clay of a gouge a miss had made in the topsoil. Thinking why would this happen to me as I’m chopping a fucking piece of wood for the fire. It had always been the time he smote his enemies, with an ax to a piece of hickory or oak. It helped him to keep things in perspective, helped him remember not to choke every son of a bitch that just happened to piss him off.
You didn’t fuck with an Urquhart is what Papa had always said. And that included whether you were family or not. The time he rode to town with him in the wagon and they came upon Aunt Phoebe and Uncle Thad coming the other way and stopped beside each other in the wide road. Junius and Uncle Thad were talking.
Aunt Phoebe said, -Not now, not with Earl in the wagon.
-I don’t care, he can’t talk to me like that, Uncle Thad said to her, but looking at Papa.
-I’ll talk to you any way I like and when I like, Papa said. -And I’m telling you if you do it again I’ll kill you.
-It’s not your cross to bear, Junius, Aunt Phoebe said. -Come on, Thad, let’s go. Hup, she said, and tried to take the reins from Uncle Thad and Uncle Thad hit her in the face with the ends of the reins, not hard but it scared Earl.
-Papa, he said.
Papa said nothing but locked the brake on their wagon, handed the reins to Earl, and started to get down when Aunt Phoebe screamed out her husband’s name. Papa leapt sideways away from Uncle Thad off the wagon and Uncle Thad had a knife. He was down off their wagon now too and was holding the knife out in front of him toward Papa.
-Papa, he whispered.
-Tell him to put up the knife, Phoebe, Papa said. He said it quiet. -Tell him to put up the knife or I’ll kill him now.
Aunt Phoebe had kept shouting Uncle Thad’s name, and now she was screaming at him, Put up the knife, Put up the knife. Uncle Thad walked toward Papa and Papa pulled out the little pistol Earl knew he always carried in his jacket pocket and fired into Uncle Thad’s chest. Both teams bucked and Earl held tight to theirs. Uncle Thad stumbled backwards against the wheel of their wagon and vomited red onto his shirt. Aunt Phoebe fell across the seat reaching down for him and when the reins fell from her hand their team bucked forward. Papa stepped aside out of their way and dropped his pistol in the road to catch Aunt Phoebe as she fell from the wagon seat. She fought from his grasp and ran to Uncle Thad lying in the road and fell down on him screaming his name. And then she was screaming at Papa, You killed him, You killed him.
Then Papa went away for a while to the penitentiary. Sundays, Mama took him, Rufus, Levi and little Merry on the train to see him. The engineer got to know them and let Earl ride up front and blow the whistle when they arrived. Papa’s head was shorn and he wore baggy striped pajamas and would talk to them in a room with only a table and some hard-bottom chairs in it. He would hug Earl and the little ones and sometimes he would cry and they would all cry, too, except for Mama, who kept her face still and hard and would hardly speak until sometime the next day maybe after dinner and then she would be more like herself again and would come into Earl’s room when he’d just fallen asleep and start talking to him. I hope you won’t be like your papa, she’d say. I hope you won’t carry on drinking, fighting, running with whores. I pray to God.
He didn’t like the drinking, either. When Papa finally came home after two years he took it right up again. After all we did to get you out, Mama said. After all that, you haven’t changed. He would do it at home, then, sitting in the chair on the porch drinking straight from a bottle in his one pocket, the pistol back in the other like he’d never killed Uncle Thad with it. His friend the sheriff had given it back to him, said You might need it. He sold insurance then and made good money, never drank during the day, but at night. They never saw Aunt Phoebe anymore unless they went to Cuba in Alabama, where she’d gone to live with Uncle Thad’s and Mama’s family over there. Papa wouldn’t go along. When they came home he’d say something ugly. Uncle Thad and Mama were brother and sister. Sometimes I think that’s why he didn’t like Thad, Mama said. Like he thought one of them had to be the family big shot. Your papa don’t like nobody cutting his territory, business or pleasure or blood, none of it.
He, Earl, didn’t like the drinking but what can a boy say about something like that. He fought other boys. Papa praised him for it, in word or gaze. Once when he fought after school in second grade he knocked the boy’s front tooth out and brought it home and put it on his dresser. Mama wouldn’t go into his room, told him to throw it away. Papa told her to leave him alone, she couldn’t understand a boy’s ways. They fought. He never hit her. That’s why he argued with Uncle Thad, he told Earl. He hit Aunt Phoebe. Man hits a woman’s no better than a dog, a sick weak dog, he said. He’s a coward. Never be a coward, he said. Don’t ever let anybody get away with crossing you, they’ll never let you walk upright again.
Didn’t need the lesson, it was in his blood. What it didn’t do, like it did later with Levi and later with Papa, too, was turn to meanness. But just hot blood. Couldn’t help it. Almost lost his job with the New York company that first time for catching a man up by his collar at lunch in the park one day. They’d gotten hot dogs from one of those vendors, taken them to the park, and the man said something about his accent. He had the man down on a pile of rocks and shoving a hot dog into his mouth before a New York cop pulled him off. Man said, No, I don’t want to press charges, I’m going to have his job. I’ll have his ass. He went for him again. No, let him go, the man said, I’ll take care of that son of a bitch.
Well if the man had been smart enough to file an order he’d have had his ass, had his job, but went to complain and then didn’t file an order and the manager says, Get your ass out of my office, you lying son of a bitch. Then calls Earl in and says Is it true, did you do that to him? And Earl says I’d do it again. Do it again, the manager says, and it will be your job. Just don’t kick ass of anyone going to give us any real business.
He hit a man one time was trying to hire away his help, after he opened the store in Mercury. Found him in the barbershop getting a shave, towel on his face, couldn’t see Earl come in. Snatched him out of the chair by the tie, dragged him out into the street like a leash dog and banged his head on the pavement a few times. Wanted to kill him, see his blood. You don’t come around trying to steal my help, he told him. Cop had to pull him off again, but it was one of his buddies, Pinkie McGauley, had a laugh and sent the son of a bitch on his way. Yankee, anyway, trying to start up a cheap line in a store on Front Street and good riddance. He’d hit horses, mules, with his bare fists. Hit a nigger woman over the head with a high heel when she sassed him, didn’t want her in the store in the first place then she says he’s not fitting her right. Well he never hit anyone or anything didn’t deserve it, just didn’t have it in him to swallow an insult. Take it as you would, he was a man you didn’t fuck with, like any Urquhart, but he wasn’t mean. Just quick-tempered.
He could hold a grudge but not like Papa. Aunt Phoebe finally grew ill from her grieving, dying an early death, and calls for Papa to come over to see her on her deathbed in Cuba, and Mama badgers him with Bible verses till he finally consents to get dressed and go over there, of a Sunday afternoon. They’re all there when Mama and Papa arrive, and Papa stands across the room. The others close to the bed. She’s ashy pale, trembly weak, motions for him to come closer. He’s got his hat in his hand, head cocked to one side like a fighter waiting for his opponent to get up after he’s knocked him down. He steps closer to the bed, stands there, looking at her like he’s studying her. No compassion in his hard blue eyes, just something like curiosity. That little cowlick of silver hair on the top of his balding head like a baby’s first locks.
The old homeplace there, little more than an old dogtrot. Brown burnt-up cornstalks in the field beside, it’s August and everybody’s drenched with sweat and powdered with dust from the drive over, the highway nothing but gravel and the road from it just red clay dirt all dried. Everybody standing around in the heat and flies buzzing against the screens.