by Karen Rock
“It’s not really about luck, honey. Santa can’t make everything come true.”
Javi’s nose flared and he angled his face toward James. “You said Santa made miracles.”
Sofia’s eyebrows rose.
“He does,” James confirmed, knowing he was raising expectations but unable to crush this little boy’s dream. “Let’s head outside for a spot on the street. The parade starts soon.”
Brightly clad crowds thronged the thoroughfare and it took some searching for James to locate a spot with a clear view. They stopped beneath a wreath-decorated light post and squeezed in with the other townsfolk.
“I can’t see,” Javi cried, straining on his tiptoes.
“Here.” James swung the child up on his shoulders, like he saw other fathers doing, like his own dad had done, and a fierce pride seized him. For a moment, he let himself imagine that he, Sofia and Javi were a family, free of the weight of a past that pulled them down and kept them apart.
“There’s Grandma!” Javi shouted.
James peered, scanning, then spotted his mother talking with—of all people—Boyd Loveland? What? They didn’t seem to be arguing. In fact, the way Boyd was smiling, the way his mother’s eyelashes were fluttering, the conversation seemed a little too chummy for his liking.
“Ma!” he called and she startled, looking guilty, and then spotted a waving Javi. After a quick word to Boyd and a pat on his arm, she hurried across the street to join them as the first marching band approached. The bass drummers beat a pounding rhythm, followed by snares and then blaring French horns.
“Oh. I must have lost track of you earlier,” Joy said, looking and sounding flustered. Over her shoulder, a lit float decorated in white cotton and featuring penguin-costumed riders appeared. “Did you write your letter to Santa?”
“I drew him a picture.”
“Well, that’s even better!”
“Is that the same man you were talking to at your grief support meeting?” Sofia asked Joy, surprising him.
Javi hooted and jumped a bit on James’s shoulders when an enormous, flashing gift box rolled by accompanied by elves.
James strained to hear his mother over the cheering crowd and the orchestrated Christmas tunes. It looked like she nodded.
“Why were you talking to him, Ma?”
“What?” his mother asked.
Hadn’t there been a story once about Boyd Loveland and his mother dating back in high school? He’d never paid it much mind, but given his mother’s sparkling eyes and wide smile, he wondered.
“Why were you talking to him?”
A hail of miniature candy canes rained down on them from a Christmas tree float ridden by a waving Miss Snowflake and, somehow, Jared.
“We got kicked out of the meeting,” she shouted back through cupped hands around her mouth.
“They were talking too much and the moderator had to ask them to leave,” Sofia hollered in his ear. The swirl of noise around them grew deafening.
“Just like in high school.” His mother giggled.
Giggled.
His brows lowered. “Steer clear of him.”
Boyd Loveland had made his first wife so miserable, some whispered, she’d committed suicide. Others repeated the unproved theory he’d killed her for her trust fund and gotten away with murder. Years ago, news stations flooded Carbondale to get the scoop on the notorious death of their popular state senator’s only daughter. Whatever the truth, Boyd had a messy past and a more uncertain future.
His mother pointed at her ear. “Can’t hear you,” she shouted and she and Sofia dissolved into more laughter, which only got him fuming.
Was Sofia egging his mother into a relationship with a Loveland? He was fine with some changes, harmless ones, he supposed—Keurig machines and meals that defied explanation, let alone recipe names. But that...that kind of disarray took things to another level entirely.
Maybe it was a good thing Sofia and Javi were leaving soon, he thought several minutes later as the final float glided by, a Santa and his reindeer rising from a mountaintop.
Then life would return to normal.
But normal and good weren’t always the same thing, he was learning.
“We won! We won!” chanted Jewel, joining them in the thinning crowds. She waved a ticket. “We won MaeBelle and it was Javi’s ticket that got pulled.”
James grabbed Javi before he flung himself bodily to the ground.
“Yay!” Javi thrust two candy canes over his head at the rising moon. “See, Mama, miracles are real.”
Sofia nodded and she offered James a pained smile. “Sometimes.” She took Javi’s hand and led him back to the pavilion. James followed, his mind in turmoil.
As much as he wished, wanted Sofia to stay, the sooner she left, the better. Not only for his peace of mind but for his family’s.
A leather-clad Justin appeared, the top of the white-frosted tree bundled under one arm. Jared materialized and he and James hefted the bottom half to carry it to their parked pickup.
Javi skipped ahead, jabbering a mile a minute to a grinning Jewel. His mother stared off at the moon, seemingly lost in her thoughts. As for Sofia, she lagged, her stricken expression mirroring the twist of emotions bottled up inside him.
They’d just won...so why did it feel like he’d lost...or was about to?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“IT’S A MOVIE!” Sofia shouted at a gesturing Joy.
Sandwiched between Javi and James on the couch as the family played charades, her lap weighed down by a purring, comatose Clint, Sofia had never felt happier in her entire life. Or more content. The nervous fear about her addiction had quieted because of her work at NA meetings and the support of these wonderful Cades. Even better—and maybe most incredibly of all—she finally had a place where she belonged.
At least for a few more weeks.
Would her life in Portland be as full and secure?
From an iPod player, Bing Crosby crooned about silver bells while a train whizzed through the miniature Christmas village arranged around the room. A pine-scented candle flickered beside an oversize red poinsettia that’d been delivered this morning from an anonymous source that had made Joy blush and James frown. The white artificial tree they’d won at the Festival of Lights yesterday rotated on a mechanized stand before the window bank. The tree was full of glittery tinsel and psychedelic colors, and Justin warned them not to stare at it directly in case they lost a few brain cells.
No one had any real quarrel with that.
Joy stood in front of the hearth and held up a single finger. In a bright red sweater that matched her lipstick, ceramic bangles and her gray skirt’s piping, she was practically unrecognizable from the pale-faced woman they’d met in the cemetery a couple of weeks ago.
Earlier this evening she’d glowed as she’d talked to Boyd Loveland after the grief support group. When Sofia overheard the words “thank you” and “poinsettia,” she’d hesitated to break up what looked like a budding romance between the two. Instead, she’d waited patiently, then a little less patiently, then kind of impatiently until Joy glanced over a half hour later and noticed her lurking by the car.
“Sorry about that,” Joy had apologized, flushed and slightly out of breath, on the car ride home.
“No apology needed,” Sofia had reassured her. “It’s wonderful to see you smiling. Happy. You’ve really changed from the woman who used to struggle to get out of bed in the morning.”
Joy’s hand had squeezed her arm. “We’ve all changed. For the better.”
* * *
JESSE, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, thank you for making this possible, she thought, and her eyes jumped to James. Ever since their kiss, she’d been thinking about him nonstop. He’d held her that night as if she were the most
cherished person in the world, like he’d never wanted to let her go. When he’d confessed his feelings about her needle marks, her heart had opened wide for him.
He saw her as a survivor, not a victim, a woman who’d been tested and become a better, stronger person. All her life, she’d believed herself at fate’s mercy, a motherless child unloved by a closed-off father, an addict whose habit had cost her a high school diploma and earned her a felony record, two strikes that prevented her from having a real career and a respectable life to provide for her son.
James helped her see that she could be anyone and do anything. She wished she could be his girlfriend, a real partner.
She clapped a mental hand over those runaway thoughts. If not for Jesse, she wouldn’t be here. She had no right, no call, to be thinking about his brother. James might not be a threat to her sobriety anymore, but valid reasons to steer clear of a romance with him still existed.
* * *
“ONE WORD!” CALLED JEWEL. She sat cross-legged on a patterned rug and leaned forward, elbows resting on her worn jeans. Her jaw jutted forward and her freckled features appeared a bit pinched and intense, as did the rest of the family members’ faces. Cade Christmas charades was a blood sport, not the quaint tradition Sofia had imagined when James suggested it after dinner.
Joy nodded and pushed up her slipping glasses.
“What Christmas movies are only one word?” mused Jared from his perch on the edge of an armchair. In a pressed brown dress shirt and dark jeans, his thick, impeccable hair slicked back, he looked like he should be in the movies, not guessing their names. James’s rugged profile snared her attention again. Funny how all the girls fawned over Jared at the Festival of Lights when, to her, James was the best-looking Cade.
A picture of Jesse, front and center on the mantel, caught her eye and she flushed with shame. His flashbulb smile and dimples nearly turned the photo into 3-D. Once, she’d thought Jesse the handsomest man she’d ever met.
But she’d known him as a young man, and James, well, James had the kind of weathered strength, quiet confidence and life experience that carved character in a face. The pain he’d suffered had left its mark in the faint grooves around his mouth and the trace of lines on his forehead. Sometimes she itched to smooth them away when he looked to be worrying over something. Oftentimes, though, she figured she and Javi were the cause of those anxieties.
Would he be happier when they left for Portland?
Would she?
“Scrooged,” Justin called as he emerged from the kitchen wearing an incongruous frilly pink apron over his faded black T-shirt, dusty black jeans and boots so worn the color blended with the wood flooring. The rich scent of roasted nuts preceded him. When he plunked the bowl down on the coffee table, he backed away fast to avoid Jewel and Jared’s pounce.
Joy shook her head hard and the smooth silvery strands of her bob swished across her pretty face.
“Stop hogging all the hazelnuts,” Jewel growled.
“You snooze, you lose.” Jared cracked open a nut and popped it into his mouth.
“Can I try some?” asked Javi.
James carefully opened an almond and passed it over. “They’re like the ones in those cookie bars.”
Joy tugged on her ear.
“Sounds like...” Jewel mumbled around a mouthful of pecan bits.
Joy pointed at the hearth behind her. A green, lit garland looped across the length of its mantel, and stockings for each family member dangled from metal hooks. Sofia’s heart expanded when she took in the red-and-green-plaid one James purchased for her at the Festival of Lights.
What to make of that?
He wanted to include her.
And it meant a lot.
Gruff, guarded James had a tender, generous heart she found harder to resist every day. Was she falling for him? If so, the sooner she and Javi left for Portland, the better for all concerned.
“Sounds like mantel,” Jared mused aloud. “Santle...?”
“You dork.” Jewel laughed with more affection than anything else. For all their teasing, the Cades adored each other. Sofia had never met a closer family. “Leave the thinking to the professionals, pretty boy.”
Justin guffawed and James chuckled, too. Jared rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Joy pointed again. A log popped and a shot of red-yellow-orange flame rose inside the chimney.
“Grease!” called Jewel.
“That’s not even a Christmas movie.” James cracked another almond for Javi and tsked at his sister.
Jewel’s thin brows knit. “They didn’t do a holiday version of that?”
“Those were the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movies,” Jared teased.
Jewel winged a pillow at him. “I never watched those.”
“Keep saying it and maybe someone will believe you,” Justin insisted. He chomped down on a walnut and the shell splintered in his teeth.
“Who owns the box of those DVDs up in the attic? If not you, then who, Jewel?” James smiled and when his warm, amused eyes fell on Sofia, she grinned right back, the blood in her veins popping and sparkling like champagne, his effect on her just as intoxicating.
“Justin was the one who made me watch them,” protested Jewel.
“I broke my arm that summer. What else was I supposed to do?” Justin shrugged, looking completely unrepentant, tough and uncompromising, quite a feat for a cowboy rocking a frilly apron and fangirling over tween flicks. “Plus, they’re very talented actresses,” he intoned. Solemn.
Everyone hooted at that.
Joy wagged her finger again and the group sobered and quieted. This was, after all, a life-and-death contest.
“Okay. One word. Sounds like...” James mused aloud. He handed Javi another nut without taking his eyes off his mother. “Sounds like...shelf?”
Joy nodded vigorously.
“Shelf...shelf... Elf!” Jared hollered and the rest of the group groaned.
“You got it,” Joy crowed. She collapsed into the chair behind Jewel and squeezed her daughter’s shoulders. “Jared wins.”
“Ugh. He always wins. I demand a rematch.” Jewel leaned her cheek against her mother’s hand and gazed up at her with so much love that Sofia blinked fast and pinned her stinging eyes to the ceiling.
The phone rang and Jewel grabbed the cordless off its handset. “Hello? Yes. She’s here. Sofia. It’s for you.”
“Hi, Sofia, this is Dr. Trombley calling. I wanted to quickly touch base with you about your arrival date in Portland.”
“Hi, Dr. Trombley.” The Cades fell silent, their faces varying from curiosity to outright dismay. James and Joy stared at her with downturned lips, their bodies rigid. “I was hoping to start after the holidays. Would that work for you?”
“Absolutely. My wife’s expecting, as you know, and she’s ready to leave the front desk as soon as you can make it. Also, my friend has a one-bedroom loft that’s available to rent if you’d be interested.”
“Rent?” she echoed faintly. James’s eyes burned into hers.
“Or do you already have a place lined up?” the doctor asked. “It’s rent-controlled, and since I can guarantee your employment, my friend only needs a one-month deposit, which I’d be happy to take care of for you.”
“That’s so kind of you...”
“Just paying it forward. I was raised by a single mother. I know how hard it can be without support.”
Sofia felt the collective weight of the Cades’ stares, their support... She wasn’t alone here.
“Thank you, Doctor. That sounds wonderful. I’ll see you in the New Year, then. Happy holidays.” She set down the phone.
“Good news?” Jewel asked.
“Yes,” Sofia said slowly, dragging the words off her tongue. She f
elt James’s eyes on her. “My job’s waiting and so is a place to stay.”
“Good news.” Jared clapped James on the back. “Right, bro?”
James forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m glad for you, Sofia.” Then he hurried into the kitchen.
“Now...about that rematch,” Jewel said.
Jared rose. “Can’t. I’ve got plans.”
“Who’s the hot date?” Jewel nudged him with her boot as he traipsed by. “Miss Snowflake?”
For some reason, that made Jared’s stride falter. “No. It’s Amberley.”
“Well, hell’s bells. Why didn’t you invite her over here?” Jewel demanded. “She was my friend first.”
“She’s your only female friend—admit it.”
Jewel ducked her head. “Me and pedicure parties don’t exactly go together.”
“They’re both barrel racers,” James informed Sofia, returning from the kitchen and settling beside her again. “Jewel’s been jealous of Amberley since she lost the state championship to her years ago.”
“That’s a flat-out lie!” Jewel declared. Heated.
Jared grabbed his brown hat off a hook. “Night, all.” A blast of cold air ripped inside as he eased open the door and headed out.
“Still don’t know why he didn’t invite her over,” Jewel groused. She snatched the nutcracker from Justin and plunked down beside the bowl again.
“’Cause maybe he wanted to be alone with her,” Joy observed quietly. “Here, Clint.” Clint’s ears flicked at her coaxing call. With a curled-tongue yawn, he stretched forward, flopped to the ground and lurched Joy’s way.
“Alone? Those two? Whatever for?”
James met Sofia’s eye for a beat too long. Heat flared in her cheeks, then blazed when she noticed Joy’s, Jewel’s and Justin’s speculative gazes on them both.
“Well. There’s this little thing called the birds and the bees.” One side of Justin’s mouth cranked up in his marauding pirate smile.
James clamped his hands over Javi’s ears. “Little pitchers...”
Justin shrugged. Jewel frowned. “Amberley’s got more sense than to join Jared’s girl-of-the-month club.”