“Tell me where each of these pictures was taken.”
As we stood in front of each picture, I explained where I had visited and what if anything the photo represented. Occasionally our shoulders touched and I found that I greatly enjoyed the physical closeness. Our hands brushed once as we simultaneously pointed at one of the pictures.
“How come so many of these photos are of Las Vegas? Are you a gambler?”
“I do enjoy playing slot machines and Las Vegas is by far my favorite travel destination. I’ve been there at least 50 times.”
“My God! What’s the attraction?”
“Mostly it’s the underage hookers.”
Linda shrieked in horror and I burst out laughing. Realizing that I was joking, Linda grabbed my arm and shook me.
“You teasing bastard, Tom! For a moment you had me completely shocked. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“I could blame all the years of living alone for my strange sense of humor, but in fact I’ve always had the knack of blurting out outrageous comments. Las Vegas is an inexpensive spot as long as you watch your gambling and know where to find good value. There’s no single supplement in the hotels and the air fares are normally quite reasonable because there are so many flights heading to that destination. I would have loved to take cruises, but they’re not designed for solo travelers and I refuse to pay almost the same rate as a couple.”
“Why do cruises appeal to you so much? Do you like the water?”
“No, but I like the fact that the ship stops almost every day at a different port. I love to sightsee and take tours.”
“What’s down that hallway?”
“Follow me and I’ll give you the full tour.”
I began by opening the door to the small laundry and storage room at the far end of the hall. Next was the bathroom, which was moderately spacious.
“Since this is a one-bedroom condo, there’s only the one bathroom. I can’t remember if I made my bed this morning, so don’t be too surprised if the room is a bit of a mess.”
I pushed the door open and flipped on the light switch so that Linda could peek inside. Luckily I had made the bed and there were no clothes lying around.
“At least there are no young hookers locked in here waiting for you to come home from the dance,” Linda joked.
“I never get them on a Saturday. The little sluts charge double rates on weekends.”
Linda broke out laughing.
“I’m actually beginning to appreciate your weird sense of humor. Step aside, sonny. I want to be able to tell Lynne that I was in your bedroom.”
Linda entered the room and glanced around at the walls, which contained my law degree, my law school graduating class picture and some more photos of various legal milestones as well as pictures of my late parents.
“You haven’t changed much since 1977,” Linda remarked.
“Corbett’s in there as well,” I replied.
Linda found Jim’s photo.
“He’s still recognizable also. Are these your parents?”
“Yes, but they’re deceased now.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No.”
“What’s the occasion for this picture? Are you getting some kind of award?”
“It was just some Mickey Mouse citation having to do with exposing a real estate scam.”
“Isn’t that the former Ontario Premier, Mike Harris, presenting it to you?”
“It is. Politicians love to be photographed handing out awards. It gets them a ton of free publicity.”
“What was the scam about?”
“Realtors and mortgage brokers back then were advising their purchaser clients to get phony gift letters stating that the down payment had been given to them in cash. In fact, the brokers arranged hidden side loans for the down payments. As a result, a lot of borrowers were getting into their homes with 100 per cent financing and most of them later lost their homes.”
“You’re quite an interesting man, Tom Kennedy, and I’m glad Lynne dragged me out to that dance tonight. I’d better get home now, though.”
“What time do your parents go to bed? It’s almost one o’clock.”
“Lynne was only yanking my chain. Our parents have probably been sleeping for at least three hours by now.”
“That’s a relief. I was getting worried that the poor dears might be frantic that you hadn’t returned home.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Mr. Kennedy, but I’m going to get back at Lynne.”
With that, Linda lay down on the bed.
“Turn the light out for a moment,” she requested.
I complied.
“Thank you, Tom. Now I can truthfully tell my little sister that I was in your bed in the dark.”
“Perhaps it would be more effective if you could honestly tell Lynne that you were in my bed with me and both of us were naked.”
Linda shrieked again and moaned, “You men are impossible.”
I put the light back on and was pleased to see that Linda was amused rather than disgusted with my improper suggestion.
She got up and wagged her finger at me.
“You’re definitely a very naughty boy but you’re great company.”
“I hope you mean that, Linda. Next Saturday is the one year anniversary of the beginning of my retirement. By any chance can I persuade you to accompany me out for dinner to celebrate that sad occasion?”
“Yes, Tom, that would be delightful.”
I walked Linda to her car and made sure that she was safely on her way before I came back inside.
My heart was fluttering with anticipation.
CHAPTER 4 (Instant Compatibility)
As they said goodnight to Kennedy and Linda, Jim Corbett poured another Courvoisier for Lynne and himself.
Sitting back down on the sofa, Lynne remarked that she was surprised that her sister had consented to come up to Jim’s apartment.
“Why is that?” Jim asked curiously.
“Linda’s husband died four months ago and tonight was the first time anyone has been able to coerce her into going out to a social event.”
“She seemed to be having a good time,” Jim responded. “Tom is a really nice guy if you can look past his aggravating cheapness. Do you think your sister might go out with Tom on a date if he asked her?”
“There’s no way. Our parents have convinced Linda that she should remain nun-like for at least a year or two, as crazy as that sounds.”
“How did her husband die?”
“The usual; he suffered a massive heart attack while working at his office on a Sunday afternoon. Paul was a workaholic and didn’t take very good care of himself. He drank too much, was overweight and never exercised. That combination killed him at age 56.”
“The work part I understand,” Jim said. “I confess to being an extremely dedicated worker myself. What type of work did Paul do?”
“He ran a small private investigative business.”
“Was he successful?”
“I guess so. Linda admitted that with the life insurance and their accumulated savings, she didn’t really have to work again if she didn’t want to. Linda was a teacher for a long time and then quit that to help Paul with his business.”
“You haven’t told me much about yourself, Lynne. Have you ever been married?”
“I got hitched just once, for eight reasonably horrible years back when I was in my thirties and lived in Toronto. Luckily I had no kids. Since then I’ve enjoyed my personal freedom. How about you?”
“My one and only marriage lasted fifteen years and I’ve been on my own for the past fifteen. Like you, I never had children, an accomplishment for which I’m eternally grateful.”
Lynne laughed.
“Precisely the way I feel about kids. Linda has one son and he’s given her nothing but trouble since he dropped out of high school. At the moment Jeremy is shacked up with a drug addict in a slummy apartment in Ottawa. He�
��s always hitting Linda up for money and she invariably warns him that it will be the very last gift, but then she relents and opens her purse over and over again. It’s never-ending.”
“You mentioned that you worked somewhere. Tell me a bit about that.”
“I teach criminology part-time now at Queen’s. I’ve got my doctorate in Sociology so like to get some use out of it. My ex-husband was filthy rich so I got set up financially for life when we split. I don’t need the job but it’s nice to feel productive.”
“How long have you lived in Kingston?”
“I grew up here but stayed in Toronto to teach after I completed my education. I only moved back to Kingston this past April when the position at Queen’s came up. Mom and Dad were getting older and more frail so I decided to move back to my home town. I live in an apartment just across the street from their house and within easy walking distance from Queen’s.”
“How do you like being back in Kingston?”
“It’s pretty boring here. That’s why I dragged Linda to the dance tonight. I was antsy to do something different. By the way, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you ever since Tom introduced you. Are you the James Corbett who was involved with the ‘Serial Killer Lawyer’ case that was in the news so much this summer?”
“No, that’s another Jim Corbett who practiced in Belleville. I’ve met him a few times at various conventions. He’s several years older than me. Speaking of that case, Tom Kennedy has actually met Grant Laviolette, the poor guy who was charged with killing those women in the USA. Both Tom and I followed that case closely. It was quite fascinating.”
“There’s a book coming out about it already,” Lynne mentioned. “It’s called ‘THE TWIN SHADOWS’ and I’m going to buy it as soon as I see it available in a store.”
“I’ll certainly pick up a copy myself. Over the years Tom had several real estate deals with Grant Laviolette and said that he was a really nice guy. We were both thrilled when he managed to exonerate himself and located the real killers. It was an incredible story.”
Jim and Lynne talked for another three hours before she finally looked in horror at her watch.
“My God, Jim, it’s almost three o’clock. I’ve talked your ear off.”
“It’s been enthralling chatting with you, Lynne. Can I interest you in dining out with me some time this next week?”
“That would be lovely, Jim.”
They settled on Tuesday night since Lynne had no classes to teach on Wednesdays.
Lynne called a cab and Jim waited in the foyer until the taxi arrived.
They kissed briefly and said goodnight.
Jim’s heart was racing as he rode the elevator back up. What a lovely and interesting woman!
CHAPTER 5 (Comparing Notes)
My telephone roused me from a deep sleep. As I reached for it, the bedside clock revealed that it was not quite nine o’clock. What an annoying way to begin a Sunday morning!
“Hello,” I mumbled sleepily.
“Get your lazy ass up, Kennedy and let’s go out for breakfast. I’ll be down to pick you up in fifteen minutes.”
Corbett didn’t even give me the chance to tell him off as the line immediately went dead.
I hauled myself up and showered quickly.
No doubt he wanted to brag about scoring last night. I was tempted to reveal that Linda had been on my bed but concluded that it would be childish to divulge that tidbit, especially given the fact that she had only done it to avoid any teasing from Lynne.
Corbett was more animated than I’d seen him in years.
“Lynne has her doctorate and teaches criminology,” he gushed. “As difficult as it will be for you to believe, she might actually be smarter than I am.”
“My left penis is smarter than you,” I quipped.
Corbett looked at me as if I were insane. I like to throw him off his game with unfathomable remarks.
“No, I’m serious,” he continued. “She stayed until almost three in the morning and we talked about anything and everything. Lynne’s a quality woman.”
“For once I don’t disagree with you. Despite my initial misgivings, last night was a great surprise. I found Linda very easy to talk to as well.”
“I’m taking Lynne out for dinner on Tuesday,” Jim boasted. “This could actually be the start of something magnificent.”
“Congratulations, Jim; I’m really glad for you. It was readily apparent that you and Lynne share the same love of obscene opulence.”
“It’s called decorating one’s home tastefully, Kennedy. Your shameful apartment screams that you have a hopeless addiction to tacky yard sales. Besides, you’re just jealous because I’m seeing Lynne again and Linda gave you the loser brush-off.”
Jim must have felt that he twisted the knife a bit too vigorously, because he immediately backtracked.
“It’s not your fault, Tom. Lynne said that her sister wouldn’t go out with you because she has some strange notion that a proper period of grievance is at least a year or two. She didn’t reject you just because you’re an infuriating cheapskate, although I expect that suit you were wearing clued her into your insane thrift as soon as the light illuminated the worn spots.”
“In actual fact Linda did consent to go out for dinner with me next Saturday. I suppose it’s possible that she’ll have second thoughts and cancel, but for the moment I’m quite excited about seeing her again. Perhaps Lynne isn’t the world’s next Einstein after all.”
“That is interesting. Lynne was positive that there was no chance of your scoring a date with Linda.”
“That brings up an interesting speculation,” I replied. “If everything went swimmingly and we wound up marrying these sisters, does that mean that you and I would be relatives?”
“Now there’s a revolting thought,” Corbett sneered. “It’s enough to make me puke up my breakfast.”
“I definitely agree. Having you as my brother-in-law would readily convince me that I’d died and had been shunted down to Hell.”
“Thankfully, there’s no realistic chance of that happening. Linda will dump you as soon as she gets a load of either your car or your apartment. Where do you plan on taking her for dinner, McDonald’s?”
“No, that would be too fancy. I was thinking of the food court at the Cataraqui Mall. That way each of us can choose whatever type of fast food we feel like.”
“You can’t be serious,” Corbett exclaimed with his jaw hanging down to his waist.
I immediately changed the subject and we shared whatever information we had gleaned last night about the other’s love interest.
Corbett and I both acted like excited teenagers during the entire breakfast.
CHAPTER 6 (A Pleasant Surprise)
After breakfast Corbett went off to do some errands and I walked back to my place.
The two sisters had been the most exciting things to hit our lives in a long time.
I sincerely hoped that Linda didn’t change her mind and cancel our date. It would be lovely to share my one-year retirement anniversary with her.
Early in the afternoon the phone rang again.
“Hello,” I spoke into the receiver.
“Hi, Tom; it’s Linda Page from last night. I hope you don’t mind my calling you.”
“Not at all, Linda; I’ve always been attracted to stalkers.”
That line evoked a slightly nervous laugh from Linda who then remarked on my bizarre sense of humor and commented that she sincerely hoped I was just joking.
“Sorry, but I couldn’t resist a perfect straight line like that. I had breakfast out with Corbett this morning and we were like schoolboys gushing over the great girls we had just met.”
“Lynne and I did exactly the same thing. She came over first thing this morning and we compared notes. In fact, it was my sister who encouraged me to call you today. I was wondering if you’d like to join me for a picnic on the waterfront.”
“Sure, that sounds fantastic.”
We made arrangements that I’d pick Linda up at four o’clock.
I did take care to wear nice casual clothes, white pants and a black golf-style shirt with the Binion’s Casino logo on the breast pocket.
Linda looked particularly fetching in a multi-colored sun dress which somehow accentuated her lovely little bum.
She asked me to come in and meet her parents.
Mr. and Mrs. Wright, or Lionel and Bernice as Linda introduced them, were not only reserved but were just on the cusp of being downright impolite. There was an unmistakable aroma of disapproval lurking just under the surface of their icy civility.
Linda and I packed the picnic paraphernalia into my car and she seemed delighted with my suggestion of taking the ferry over to Wolfe Island and finding a pretty spot over there to sit and eat our supper.
“Your parents didn’t seem very pleased about my showing up to take you out. What gives with that?”
“Oh, Tom, I was hoping you hadn’t noticed. I’m so sorry. Mom and Dad can be impossible. They’re both extremely old fashioned and criticized me mercilessly when I told them that I was going out on a date with a man I had met at the dance last night.”
“I assume they believe that it’s too early for you to be out socializing.”
“Precisely; I never said a bad word to them about Paul even though he wasn’t the easiest man to live with. He got along marvelously with both my parents and to them it seems as if we just had the funeral yesterday. They tore a strip off me today for tarnishing his memory by throwing myself at the first man who happened along. It was both embarrassing and infuriating at the same time.”
“Well, not to worry, Linda. I’ll make sure you get home this evening before the old fogeys go to bed. That should earn me a few brownie points with them. Perhaps it has nothing to do with you at all. It could be that your folks are in fact exceedingly wise and know that lawyers are the scum of the earth and can’t be trusted with their gorgeous daughter.”
Linda chuckled.
“What are you after, you devious little smooth talker?”
The Wrong Lawyer Page 3