Ms. Drowner is waiting at the front desk. Her hair stands up over her head in a lopsided halo, her lips pale where she has chewed her lipstick off. The pen in her fingers rattles against the edge of the clipboard in her other hand. “Are you certain you feel well enough to leave, Miss Green?”
I tilt my head to look at her square with my brown eye. “Why would I not?”
The shadows under her eyes darken. “Of course.” She holds the clipboard out. “Sign here. It waives any liability the institution might have for releasing you early.”
That makes me smile. Early. As if I haven't spent more years here than I have anywhere else. I take the pen and scrawl my name on the appropriate line. “Is that all?”
“Your things will be left where they are. Should you decide not to return...” The clipboard slips from her trembling fingers. “If you do not return, you will need to make arrangements to collect them.”
I nod. My things are four cotton dresses, two pairs of sneakers, the sweater I'm wearing, and a small drawerful of socks and underwear. None of it particularly valuable or personal. Besides, I don't think I'll need more clothes, the road I'm taking.
The silence stretches out like a taffy thread. All eyes fixed on me, as though they can keep me here with the looking. Lips trembling with the silent plea for me to stay. But their small magic has no power in this moment.
I push my hair back from my face. “Where is Agent Cox?”
“Outside.” Ms. Drowner tiptoes toward the door. “This way.”
The air outside is warm, and stars glitter like salt overhead. The walkway is illuminated by a string of small lights on either side; larger lamps form a deeper pool of light near the gate. And in that pool, two men are waiting.
I've been expecting Percy, but the presence of Gil Mains is a surprise. I don't see how he moves much anymore. Not since I kept his thread from breaking. That's the way it goes. Once you see the future, you can change it, but only for so long. Eventually the threads turn pale, like a spider’s web, and can't be altered. I can see the last few steps in Main's journey, but we aren't there yet. Not yet.
I stop at the end of the walkway, touching the air with my fingertips in an attempt to discern Mains' purpose here, but his thread cannot be felt either. Not yet.
He touches his forehead. “Evening, Delaney.”
“Mister Mains. I was not expecting you.”
“No.” He glances at Percy, a thoughtful twist to his mouth. “I expect not. But Agent Cox wanted someone familiar with the area to drive him around.”
Percy nods. “Yes.” His eyes are darker than before, a restless hitch to his movements. Trying to behave casually in the presence of Ms. Drowner, but I can see the questions burning on the back of his tongue.
“I am ready to go.” I cannot hide the tremor in my voice. More than ready, I am eager. To see the stars without the thick glass of the institution's windows between me and them. To breathe air that has not cut itself on the barbed wire at the top of the fence that surrounds the building and grounds.
He steps forward and takes my hand. Palm to palm. His fingers twining through mine— warm and strong. “Come on.”
I glance over my shoulder as we walk toward the car. Ms. Drowner stands where we left her. The light turns her hair so pale and thin she looks as though she has none, her eyes dark hollows in her face. I shiver, seeing the shortness of her thread. “Wait.” I pull my hand loose from Percy's and run back.
She draws away from me when I try and put my hands on her shoulders, mouth tightening up in a nervous little knot. “Miss Green?”
“You be careful. On the drive home tonight. All right?”
“Hush.” She turns her head and spits between her fingers. “You hush now, hear?” Claps her hands over her ears and runs back up the sidewalk, her shoes clack-clack-clacking all the way.
She'll go inside, put the new paperwork on her desk. Maybe she should go ahead and file it, but she's agitated now. Afraid that I've seen something true and mad at herself for being afraid. Grabbing her purse and getting in the car. She won't be paying attention when she gets to the crossroad with Highway 39. Won't see the semi-truck trying to make the last leg of the haul from Chicago to Atlanta.
“Delaney.” Mains is looking at me.
I brush my hand across the threads, trying to find one doesn't end with poor Ms. Drowner tumbling ass over head with her car breakin' to bits around her. But they're all short, even the ones that don't end in glass and blood on the interstate.
Percy touches my arm, careful-like. “What is it?”
I shake my head. If I'd had more time... the best I can do is to set one of these short threads thrumming. The cell phone will slide onto the floor. Ms. Drowner will unfasten her seatbelt so she can reach it, then start the turn out onto the highway before she buckles it back. When the truck hits her, the impact will throw her out of the car and her neck will snap.
“It'll be quick.” Better than being trapped while the car burns around her or crushed so tight against the steering wheel she suffocates before the emergency response can cut her free
“Delaney.” Percy's clutching my hand again, but tight this time. “Tell me what to do.” He's so earnest. Innocent despite the terrible things he's seen. As if he can attempt the things I cannot.
I try to look at him gently. “Take me away from here, Percival.”
He leads the way to the car and opens the door for me like a gentleman, never mind that I'm climbing into the backseat and there's protective mesh between it and the front.
His phone rings.
I suppose it doesn't sound any different than any other day, but a chill touches me. Knowing what's waiting at the other end. Neeny all flopped out dead. The Trainer boys prowling somewhere in the night, looking for another woman with the Touch. All of it marking the last few turns on this long road. All of it leading toward The Salesman.
I push my hair back from my eyes and look at Mains. “You need to take us out to Neeny Johnson's place.”
14
By the time we reach the house, it's not just Martinez waiting. The coroner's wagon sits on the little dirt track that leads past the house. The coroner himself sits on the rear bumper between the outstretched doors, a cigarette clinging desperately to his lower lip. A couple of sheriff's cars sit farther along, blue lights flickering off the overhanging branches and headlights fixed on the large and empty remains of Neeny Johnson.
Mains pulls the car up by the mailbox and turns the engine off. Percy looks back at me with a frown. “Stay here with Mains, all right?”
I nod. Not like I can get out of the car unless they let me out. And I've already seen what's happened to poor Neeny.
“Okay.” He looks at Mains. “Okay?”
“Sure.”
“I'll be back in a minute.” Percy gets out, slams the door behind him, and strides across the yard toward the coroner and Martinez.
I rub my face on my sleeve and turn sideways on the seat so I can put my feet up. It's quiet, save for the half-hearted buzz of a cicada in the tree across the road.
Mains is watching me in the rearview mirror. The weight of his gaze slides across my face like ice in a hot skillet. He clears his throat. Rolls down the window and spits into the yard. “I hope you know what you're doing, Del.”
“I wouldn't be here if I didn't.”
“Maybe. But this Cox is smart and stronger in your ways than he lets on. You twist him the wrong way and you'll pay for it.”
“I ain't... I'm not twisting him at all.” I look at him stern. “I didn't twist you, did I?”
He frowns, still not looking at me direct. “I figure you're more interested in Cox than you ever were in me.”
That brings a flush to my cheeks, but there's no point in lying about it. “I’m grown now.”
“Yes.” The seat cushion creaks as he turns to look me. “You plan to grow old with him, Delaney? Marry him and have children like...” He stops. Even in the dark, with the blue glare of
the police lights skipping across the side of his face, I can see the emotion in his eyes. Anger and sorrow over what happened to my family. And a share of guilt that with all the calls about fighting and the trips out into the woods to find me or Addie when we'd run off from Mama he hadn't seen how bad things were. That he wasn't able to stop it.
I shake my head. “I can't say what I expect. But you know I don't ever mean to hurt anyone deliberate-like.”
Mains can't hide the shiver, but he doesn't look away. “I know, Del.”
I touch my fingers to my chest, trying to soothe the ache in my heart. Mains is the only one who didn't have to come visit but did anyway. The only one who hasn't let his fear keep him away. Maybe he's just smart enough to know that physical distance is a small obstacle. Maybe he can feel the pull of destiny, bringing us back around to the thing Mama started that day when she tried to burn me off the earth and took my poor sisters instead.
I take a deep breath, swing my feet back off the seat. “It's stuffy back here. Can we get out for a few minutes?”
He shrugs. “I guess. No lookin' at the body though.”
“Already seen it.”
A sigh. “Of course you have.” He gets out, opens the back door. “Stay close.”
“Yes, sir.” I don't have much interest in seeing Neeny in the flesh, but I didn't leave Greenhaven behind just to spend my time sitting in the back seat of police cruiser.
The summer air touches my face like silk. Or what I imagine silk feels like—softer and less artificial than the bright blue stuff my nightgown is made out of. I shrug my sweater down my shoulders 'til it only covers my hands, arms bare to the night.
Sometimes when I'm wound deep in the threads of the future, I don't just see what happens, I feel it, too. Usually when the feelings get strong. Collins finding the bodies in the woods. Neeny running through the dark with the Trainer boys on her heels. So it ain't like I've not felt the crunch of dry leaves underfoot or the caress of the evening breeze, but it weren't like this.
This is seductive and melancholy—living in my own skin. For a moment I let loose of the threads that lead away from here, let loose of what's coming and just breathe under the stars.
A cricket chirps in the weeds beside the road. Then something rustles, quiet. I click my tongue and yellow eyes glint in the shadows. One of Neeny's cats, prowling away from the commotion behind the house.
“Here, kit.” I settle on my heels to make myself small. Hold my hand out and wiggle my fingers in invitation. “Come on.”
He edges out of the grass, flicks one battered ear forward and back.
“Come here, tom. I won't hurt you.”
He's a tabby, a little fat thanks to Neeny's affection, but with the grace and reflexes of a bird killer. I figure he'll show the others how to hunt now that they're on their own.
“Here, pretty boy.” I make more noises with my tongue. “Come on.”
He flicks his tail back and forth sharp, but edges forward to allow his head to be scratched. Then a little closer to rub his cheek against my leg.
Mains shifts his weight, the gravel at the edge of the road crunching underfoot.
The tom hisses and lunges back into the undergrowth. A moment later the cricket's cree-sqree stops mid-chirp.
I stand up and tilt my head back to look at the stars. Not like I could have kept him anyway and he's needed here. But I've almost forgotten what it's like to be touched affectionately.
Mains looks at me, forehead wrinkled up with worry. “You all right, Del?”
“Just breathing.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” I pull my sweater back on as Percy comes back with Martinez.
“Looks like someone tried to grab Miss Johnson and something happened. She's dead.” Percy looks at me with a frown. “I thought you said this was something supernatural.”
“I might have.”
“Something that drives a pickup truck?” Martinez sounds annoyed.
I fold my arms across my chest. “Is she burned up?”
“No. Looks like someone stomped her to death.”
“Then whatever has been doing the burning weren't here.” I don't feel like spelling it all out because that's a sure way to make them start looking at me suspicious-like, but for a moment I think I might have to.
Percy looks at Martinez. “Maybe we've got multiple suspects. Someone who is kidnapping the women, and someone or something elsewhere that's burning them up.”
Martinez nods. “Okay. So the guys in the truck come here. Try to kidnap Miss Johnson, but she winds up dead. They leave. But whatever the plan was...”
“They'll have to find someone else,” Percy says.
“I'll tell Tolbert and his men we need to get in touch with the other names on his list. Put word out on the TV if we can.” He glances at me. “What about her?”
“I'm taking her back to the motel. We'll talk there.” Percy smiles at me, faint but reassuring.
“Keep your phone on.” Martinez is already hurrying back toward the other cars.
Mains takes a deep breath. “I guess you want me to drive you back into town then.”
“Yes, sir.” Percy opens the back door for me. “If you don't mind.”
“Not at all.” He pauses as though he might say something else, then closes his mouth with a little bob of his head. “Not at all.”
15
The heart always wins.
This was the final thing my daddy taught me.
He said it by way of explanation on one of those days when Mama was at her worst. Love is the one constant and powerful thing in this world. The only true answer to all the ills of the world. If there were more love, there would be less of all the bad things.
He said it by way of apology when Addie had begged him to take us and leave Mama behind. Love was the reason he had chosen to be with her in the first place, even when others had warned him against it. Love was the thing that wouldn't let him leave her in the darkness that crept out of her head.
He said it by way of a promise when I had told him the shape and bloodiness of the threads in my future. Love was the thing that would shed light on the difficult decisions. It was the wisdom that is felt, not learned.
This was the final thing my daddy taught me. A week later he was gone for good.
I didn't mean to fall in love with Percival Cox. He and I together were the means to the best end. I never meant him harm, but I didn't much care at first what hurt he went through before his path would cross with mine. I just knew that his future lay with mine. He was my one chance to be free of the chlorine-soured walls of Greenhaven, and I was his chance to avoid the fire and hate of The Salesman's embrace. That's how it was at first, anyway.
A means to an end.
But there was a patience with which he endured the twists and turns of his road, a compassion and gentleness he practiced when confronted with the worst of the things one human does to another that gave me hope that it was not too late to save him. It drew my heart to his as surely as I was drawing our physical selves together. I fell in love with him, not for the way he smiled at me, but for the way he smiled at others. Not for the loving words he whispered in my ear, but for who he was on his best days and his worst.
I didn't mean to fall in love with Percival Cox, but in the end, the heart always wins.
16
The motel is faded like an old Polaroid, all the colors in the wallpaper and bedspread and carpet turned to yellows and oranges. I sit down on the edge of the bed as Percy turns the knobs on the A/C unit. He was quiet on the way back from Neeny's house, apparently choosing not to talk in front of Mains.
Now it's just me and him, and the tension is so thick I am dizzy with it.
He takes off his jacket and tosses it on the chair. “You mind if I wash up? It's been a long day.”
I shrug. “We have some time.”
A frown touches his mouth, but he goes into the bathroom and pushes the door shut.
I pu
ll the piece of notebook paper from my pocket and look at the words again. A few more times and they will begin to stick. I doubt I'll have the time to learn the rest, but at least I will have the first verse tucked away.
With flowers around,
Blue, gold, pink, and green.
I close my eyes so I can write them more clearly in my head. With flowers around, blue, gold, pink, and green.
“Delaney?” His hair is damp, shirt unbuttoned and the towel still hanging from one shoulder. He pads barefoot across the carpet and settles on the edge of the bed next to me. “What's this?”
“Just memory practice.” I let my hair fall forward around my face to hide the embarrassed flush in my cheeks. “It's helps me manage the fuzziness caused by the meds.”
“Ah.” He looks at the paper more closely. “Is this Stevens? Cy est Pourtraicte, Madame Ste Ursule, et les Unze Mille Vierges, right?”
“Yes.”
His eyes are deep and curious. “An interesting choice.”
“I like the part about the garden. And...” The flush in my cheeks grows hotter. “The end is a little naughty.”
“Hah. Yes.” Percy stands up and crosses the room to rummage through the suitcase sitting next to the TV. “Do you think he was right? Does God have a desire for intimate companionship?”
I lick my lips, watching out of the corner of my eye as he takes off his shirt and puts on a t-shirt. “I think we all have desire for companionship. Though some, I guess, don't desire physical intimacy.”
Maybe he hears the question in my voice, though I do my best not to phrase it so. In all the years I've watched him, I have never seen him in more than a casual relationship with anyone. Intimate sometimes, but not lasting. I do not expect the same level of affection from him as I have for him; he has only known me for a brief time. But there is a fear, deep in my gut, that even if we did have years ahead of us, he would never grow to love me.
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