“Balance is the key to longevity.” She snorted in disgust. “Great, now you’ve got me sounding like one of those damn motivational posters. Thanks, Hope. You’re a real friend,” she added sarcastically.
That teased a laugh out of me as propped my legs up on the coffee table littered with sketches and fabric. “Anytime. And yes, I’ll be by for dinner. Should I bring anything?”
“Just yourself. I needed a break and I was hungry so making a sandwich turned into a big ass dinner. Bring your appetite.” With that final demand, Audrey ended the call abruptly and I just stared at the blinking screen until it faded to black.
“Great. See you then, Audrey. Goodbye.” Since I didn’t have to worry about dinner, I swung my legs off the table, stood, and headed to my office. “Office” sounded more professional and grown up than “workspace,” which sounded like a glorified playroom, complete with hard plastic office equipment in primary colors. I sat on the stool and got to work on the daffodil-colored set I’d spent most of last night working on. I just had to finish off the garter belt, which I did before stopping to take a shower and head to Audrey’s for dinner.
I was looking forward to spending some time with Audrey. She was pregnant and I was sure Walker would get her down the aisle soon enough. Girl time like this was limited and I needed to get as much of it in as I could. Before everything changed. Soon, she wouldn’t have time to chat for twenty minutes on the phone or to pop out for a quick bite to eat in the middle of the week. Our time together would, eventually, dwindle to nothing. It had already happened with my sisters and my sisters-in-law.
But I wouldn’t think about that. Not tonight. Dinner and conversation were on the agenda, not mourning a friendship that hadn’t died.
Not yet.
The short walk over helped me relax and gave me time to clear my mind, which I was desperately in need of since I couldn’t stop thinking about Will. I hated that suddenly he was so interested. It made me suspicious and I didn’t want to feel that way about him.
The front door was wide open and the screen was unlocked so I walked in. Then froze. Walker and Will sat on the sofa, beers in hand, watching television. “Oh. Hey.”
“Hey, Hope. Audrey’s in the kitchen,” Walker said with a friendly smile.
“Thanks.” I rushed to the kitchen, fully prepared to give Audrey a piece of my mind for not at least giving me the heads up, but I stopped myself when I saw her carefully putting together a platter of food. Throwing a fit would help exactly nothing. Will and Audrey would both assume I wasn’t over him and rightly so. “Need some help?”
Audrey turned with a guilty look on her face but her violet eyes shone with defiance, daring me to question her motives. “Nothing. Just sit and keep me company.” I grabbed a beer from the fridge, one of Walker’s craft bottles that were out of my price range but well within my taste bud’s affordability. When I turned and cracked it open, Audrey was staring.
“What?” I asked.
“He and Walker are best friends. What can I do, Hope?”
God, I was such a selfish friend. There were so many reasons that sleeping with Will had been a bad idea, and the biggest one was staring at me, looking guilty. Guilty that her own brother was at her house. “There’s nothing to be done, Audrey. It’s fine. Really.”
Dinner was filled with conversation, mostly town gossip and info on the Hometown Heroes events for this month. We all laughed and had a pretty good time—even me.
As long as I ignored the heated looks Will sent me across the table. And there were plenty. He was a difficult man to ignore but I was bound and determined to try. I had to for the sake of my sanity. And my heart.
“That was amazing as always, sis.” Will leaned back in his chair and patted his flat belly that I now knew was rippled with a rock-hard six pack, not to mention the V of his hips that, even now, made my mouth water.
“It was excellent, Audrey. Walker, you should probably get a personal trainer now if this is how you eat every night.”
He flashed a proud grin as he stood and gathered the plates, frowning when I joined him. “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?” In a completely sweet gesture that made longing tear through me, Walker dropped an affectionate kiss on her forehead and winked before he walked to the kitchen with me following behind him.
“You are a very lucky man, Walker.”
“Don’t I know it?” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe Audrey loved him back. That look of complete love shining in his eyes only strengthened my resolve.
Will would never look at me like that. Hell, there was a chance he would never look at any woman like that, but certainly not me, and that was what I wanted. Love and marriage and the baby carriage. Pining after Will would never get me that. “I’ll, uh, be right back,” I told Walker and disappeared into the bathroom to get a hold of myself.
Looking in the mirror, I decided to be honest with myself. I wanted Will, as bad as I’d ever wanted him. I loved him. Sure, it started out with the innocent, naïve love of a teenage girl but it had grown over the years and I knew the difference. I loved him and he would never be able to love me back. Which should make things pretty simple, right?
Wrong.
It was struggle. Each day was a battle but unknowingly, Walker had helped. I didn’t regret how I felt about Will, but I regretted not seeing the truth sooner. Now that I did, it was impossible to ignore.
When I stepped from the bathroom, Will was there in the hall, leaning against the wall looking like the coolest boy in high school. “Everything okay?”
“Fine.” He blocked my path back to the dining room until I looked up at him. “What are you doing here?” Besides making my senses go crazy with his deliciously masculine scent, that glint in his gray eyes, and the wild, sexy waves of black hair on top of his head. But it was that gentle way he stroked my jaw that had me rethinking my decision to move on from him. Temporarily, anyway.
“This is inevitable,” he said just before he cupped my face and lowered his mouth to mine. This kiss was, unfortunately, just as hot as all of his other kisses. Firm and insistent, demanding and hungry. He kissed me like he found me irresistible but I knew that wasn’t true, knew just how easy it had been for him to resist me. For years. Not even a week ago, he’d tossed me aside for a leggy blonde, so no, he wasn’t kissing me because I was so darn irresistible. This is ego. As soon as the thought came, I knew it was true. Will wanted me now because I didn’t want him. It was more effective than a bucket of ice water and I pulled out of his grasp and stepped back.
“That was a mistake.”
A deep chuckle escaped and Will reached out to me, frowning when I stepped out of his reach. “Tell me you don’t want that. That you don’t feel it.”
“I feel it. And believe or not, I do want it. I just want a lot more than that and you’re not the man for more.” It wasn’t a question because Will made sure all of his women knew not to fall for him, not to expect more because it wouldn’t be coming. I didn’t know why, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that being a foster kid had taken a toll on him the way it had on Audrey. Will stood still, almost frozen with fear that I might ask him for something more than he was willing to give. “Don’t worry, I’m not asking.”
“I didn’t think you were.” Maybe not, but his voice was thick and gruff. Defensive. “Hope,” he began with that explanatory tone that made me cringe.
“I don’t need an explanation, Will. I know who you are and what you’re willing to give. I always have. That’s why we’re not doing this anymore.” I flashed a sad smile and turned away from him. It was time for me to go. I found Audrey in the dining room. “Audrey.” I flashed a smile to hide any traces of what had just happened outside the bathroom. “Dinner was delicious. Thanks for the invite.”
“You’re leaving?” The disappointment in her voice was like a punch in the chest, which I deserved. I shouldn’t have screwed my best friend’s brother. It would only make things more awkwar
d before we slowly stopped being friends at all. “Not before dessert,” she pleaded and pointed to the chocolate cake at the center of the table with a silky smooth layer of melted chocolate on top.
“Yeah. I’ve still got a lot of work to get done before bed and I’m on the breakfast shift tomorrow.” I felt Will’s gaze on me before I saw him enter the dining room. “Let’s do lunch soon. Let me know when.” A lunch get-together would likely take place away from her house and, more importantly, while Will was on shift with emergency services. The fewer times we ran into each other for a while, the better it would be.
For both of us.
She stood and crossed the room to wrap her arms around me and it felt too good to let go. “You have to stop running at some point, Hope.”
Her whispered words made me smile. “I’m not. He’s your brother. He belongs here more than I do.” A sad but totally true fact that only brought home what a mistake succumbing to my feelings had been.
“That’s not true. You belong here too.” If only that were true. I should have left my crush in the past exactly where it belonged, but my stupid heart and even stupider body had convinced me that maybe things would be different with me.
But it wasn’t. I was nothing more than a convenience to him. No different than any of the other women she’d taken to bed.
“Sure, Aud.” She and Will weren’t related by blood but that only made their bond stronger—they’d chosen to stay family. To protect and love each other no matter what. I knew, even if she didn’t, that her loyalty would always be to him. As it should be. “Good night. Bye, guys.”
Walker waved and Will just stared with a blank expression I had neither the energy or desire to decipher.
Will
“You are either the biggest idiot in town or you have a death wish.” Walker leaned against the bar, looking as casual as you please, bringing the beer bottle to his lips. Even while drinking, he somehow managed to flash smirk of amusement. Or maybe it was disapproval.
Don’t know. Don’t care. “I don’t know what you mean.” That was a damn lie. I’d be a fool not to know, especially with the death daggers Nina had been sending my way since Toni and I walked into Black Thumb. Or the looks of disdain, hate, and disgust coming from nearly every female who showed up for Trivia Night.
“Bull. You know exactly what I mean so I’m guessing it’s a little bit of both.” Walker shook his head again and clapped me on the back, sympathy oozing from his pores. “I don’t know what the hell thought process made you decide that this—” he gestured to where Toni sat with Preston and Ry, “was a good idea, but I urge you to reconsider.”
“Is this from you or my sister?” When a guy went and fell in love, even if it was with your sister, he handed his balls over in a silk purse and worked like hell to do his woman’s bidding.
“This is from me. As your friend. I know this is one of your oh yeah, I’ll show you gestures, but will Hope see it that way? Probably not. She’ll think you’re just being cruel and I know you well enough to know you’re a lot of things, but not cruel. Stupid, but not cruel. Dumb, but not cruel. Misguided but not—”
“Got it.”
Walker’s smile was smug, knowing, and so damn amused. “Sharp. But not cruel.” He took a step back just in time to miss a backhand aimed at his gut. “Slow but not cruel.”
“Dick.”
“I’d say takes one to know one, but that would be immature.” He took another long pull from his bottle, keen eyes aware of all the gazes on us but trying hard not to look like they were. “Seriously. Have you thought this through?”
Hell no. “Of course. There’s no hidden message here, Walker. Toni called me up to see what I was doing and I told her my plans. She invited herself along and I didn’t say no. Had no reason to.” The plan had been to make Hope see that her little plan to punish me or play hard to get, or whatever it was she was doing, wouldn’t work. There were plenty of other single women in and around Tulip who were looking for a good time. Nothing but a good time.
“Is that why your eyes are drawn to the door every time it opens? We all thought it was because you were looking for Hope.” Walker shrugged and pushed off the bar. “Better get back to your date.”
He was right, dammit. I’d come to the bar to get us a round of drinks and to take a break from Toni and her baby talk. What was it with women thinking that shit was cute? It was creepy and you couldn’t say anything without being called an asshole. Or worse. “Thanks, Buddy.” I took the drinks and reclaimed my seat between Toni and Walker.
“Thanks, Willy. I just love a good daiquiri!” She sipped on the straw, then giggled and wiggled in her seat, a move designed to make sure all the male eyes were on her. Unfortunately, at our table, they were more interested in me, sending curious stares my way as if to ask what the hell were you thinking?
I wasn’t thinking. Clearly.
“Who doesn’t love a good daiquiri?” Nate asked, his voice filled with amusement. “Our boy Willy here is man enough to drink’em too.” I glared at my so-called friend but he was too amused to be intimidated.
“Really? Oh, that’s so sexy!” She did another shimmy and Preston didn’t bother hiding his laugh at it.
Nina sent another death stare at our table and I knew there was a good chance I wouldn’t make it out of here tonight with my balls in place. Maybe Walker was right and I should have reconsidered the wisdom of this plan, except it would have been a solid plan if Hope had cooperated and showed up.
Where was she, anyway? She hadn’t missed Trivia Night since they started a few months ago. How in the hell was I supposed to show her that I could have any woman I wanted, even one as hot and stacked and freaky as Toni, yet she was the one I wanted? For now, sure, but still.
“Want some, Willy?”
I blinked and looked up at the table, the guys smirking at me and Toni waiting expectantly. “No thanks. It won’t mix well with my beer.”
“Maybe later. Daiquiris are the perfect way to … refuel. Right, guys?” She giggled again and I rolled my eyes, or maybe I passed out from the boredom. Or the squeaky tone of her voice.
“What do you mean?” Ry’s lips twitched and, seconds later, the entire table erupted in laughter.
“Care to share the joke with everyone?” Nina asked. “Since it’s funny enough to interrupt everyone else’s fun?”
“Sorry, babe. These guys are animals!” Preston called out with a grin and a wink for his fiancée. “Keep it down, guys.”
Straw wrappers and tortilla chips went flying Preston’s way, but he didn’t give a damn; he just kept on smiling at Nina. “Back to the trivia!” She glared once more at the table before the game continued.
Hope never showed. I stayed through the crowning of the night’s winners and even another drink before spending close to an hour helping Toni understand that I simply wasn’t in the mood. Me, Will Landon, wasn’t in the mood to get naked with a gorgeous freak.
What the hell was this world coming to?
It had to be one of the signs of the end of times when a red-blooded, fully masculine American male couldn’t get in the mood for a gorgeous woman. And it was all Hope’s fault.
Instead of going straight home like a smart man would, I went to Hope’s little cottage and knocked. And waited. Ten minutes passed and it became clear that if she was home, Hope wouldn’t be opening the door for me.
So I went home.
Alone.
Had a beer.
Alone.
Climbed into bed.
You guessed it—alone.
* * *
Sitting in Hope’s section at the diner felt like a creeper move but I was beyond the point of caring. She hadn’t been anywhere she normally would have been, she was never at home when I showed up unexpectedly, and she never had her phone with her. Allegedly.
So I woke up this morning and went for a five-mile run, which gave me too much time to overthink about Hope. What was I even doing tracking her down and forci
ng her to talk to me? To what end? I made no secret of my desire to avoid anything resembling a long-term commitment to anything but my family and my career as an EMT. Yet, I wasn’t ready to let her go.
I would because I always let them go, but I wasn’t ready for that.
The woman I couldn’t stop thinking about came to a stop beside the small table I’d claimed near the window and flashed a genuine smile as if nothing was wrong. As if that kiss hadn’t turned her inside out just like it had done to me. “What’ll it be, Will?”
Was she serious? She couldn’t be serious. “Go out with me.” The words that tumbled out of my mouth had no correlation to the thoughts going through my mind as I watched her shutter her emotions, but there they were. Out there.
Her brows pinched together and Hope’s glossy pink lips pursed into a small frown. “That’s not on the menu. What would you like to order? To eat,” she clarified, just in case I got any ideas.
Too bad for Hope, I had plenty of ideas and more swirled in my head as she stood with her hip cocked out to one side, and a frown marring her delicate features. Suddenly, a date sounded like an excellent idea. Maybe the most brilliant idea I’d ever had. “Seriously, Hope. Let me take you out on a date.” Maybe I needed full on immersion in order to get her out of my mind, to stop thinking about her for good.
She let out a loud, brash laugh, one that was so at odds with the quiet woman I knew. “I don’t have time for this, Will. You’re not my only customer.”
“I’m serious. Will you go out with me?” The racing of my heart was new; usually I knew with absolutely certainty what a woman would say when I asked her out. Most of the time, I didn’t even have to ask. “Please?” I flashed the smile that Nina once said had the power to render even the smartest woman stupid and waited for Hope to swoon, for her knees to weaken the way they often had when I smiled at her.
This time, I got nothing.
Undesired: A Best Friend’s Brother Romance Page 5