Will
I should have listened to that little voice in my head that tried to warn me that there was more to Ma’s plea for help than needing me to look at the motor on her garbage disposal. Of course there was more to it than that and Ma being who she was and how she was, waited until I was trapped under the torn-apart sink before she struck.
“Turkey or chicken breast? I’ve got a bit of both leftover for this sourdough loaf.” She’d been at it for a few minutes now, trying to lull me into a false sense of security.
“Chicken and don’t be stingy with it. What the hell did you put down the disposal, Ma?”
She smacked her lips loud and I knew if I looked up, she’d have her hands fisted on ample hips, a smirk that was trying to be a scowl on her face. “Watch your mouth, boy. I put stuff down there that needs disposin’ of, what else?”
I bit back a groan. Helen Landon was a capable woman, more than any other woman I’d come across before she took me in. She raised me, Audrey, and more than a dozen other kids for far shorter periods, managing to work from home, fixing what needed to be fixed, and cooking a hot meal almost every night of the week. This was a carefully orchestrated problem, but she was my mom and I let her lead this dance. “You got any of that spicy mustard?”
“You know I keep it around just for you. That stuff is just yellow-colored horseradish but you like what you like. Spinach or lettuce?”
“Spinach. And tomatoes and pickle, no mayo, yes to sprouts if you have any.” By the time she went through every sandwich fixing in the fridge, I’d never make it home before dropping in on Hope and I really needed to. Soon. Things had been strained between us for the past few days and it all started with three meddling old ladies.
A heavy sigh sounded across the kitchen and my lips twitched as I finally reached the dish towel that had been shoved in but somehow missed the blades. “What’s going on with you and Hope?”
There it was. Finally. I dreaded the question even more than I anticipated it. I’d been asked it no less than a hundred times in the four days since dinner at Texican’s. And then dancing the next night. I should have known tongues would wag—it was Tulip’s favorite pastime after all—but I couldn’t resist holding Hope close while a live band played a mix of country and rock.
Then came the questions.
What’s going on with you and Hope?
Are you two a couple?
How long has this been going on?
It was damned annoying and usually a glare and a grunt could get me out of it. Ma was bulletproof and I had nothing stronger than her iron will. “What do you mean? We’re hanging out.”
“Every night for the past few weeks is a bit more than hanging out, I’d say. Lots of overnight stays for just hangin’ out.” When Ma was unhappy, her Texas twang got twangier and now it was at about a seven.
“How many overnight stays makes hanging out all right, Ma?” Everyone seemed to think that there was a limit of togetherness before things had to get serious. Things were casual no matter what anyone thought, except Hope, and I had no damn clue what she was thinking. But that spark was back in her pretty green eyes and I couldn’t deny it gave me a little thrill every time I saw it. Being with her was fun and easy; she let me bitch about work without bringing up finding a new career and she was always up for some time between the sheets.
But everyone was starting to get ideas, the kind that I definitely wasn’t ready to start thinking about today, if I would ever be ready. Things like settling down. Commitment. Relationships. It was too fast. Hell, it was too damn soon and I didn’t even know how I felt about Hope.
“Less than three weeks, smart ass.”
“Watch your mouth, woman.” She snickered and I grinned. Sometimes it was hard to remember I wasn’t born to Helen, we were so similar. It was eerie.
“I just don’t understand how you can spend that much time with someone if you’re not falling for them. At least temporarily.” I could tell by her tone that she really didn’t get it, but I would never be ready to have a frank conversation like this with my mother.
“Times have changed, Ma. Attitudes towards sex have changed.”
“You think your mom is a virgin? I’m not but I did love every man I ever slept it, even if it was just for the night.” She howled with laughter at her words, or maybe it was the sickened groan that erupted from underneath the sink.
“Ma.”
“Oh, please,” she said, waving me off with her hands as I slid away from the sink, giving it one final satisfied look before holding up the dish towel with a knowing look on my face. Ma didn’t look ashamed or apologetic, in fact, she was downright defiant. “There was something I loved about each of the men I took to bed, and it was that something that made me want to be intimate with them.”
“Ma, you’re killing me.” How could I ever erase her saying words like “intimate” and “men I took to bed”? There wasn’t enough bleach in all of Tulip to erase that memory.
“Sometimes it was a laugh. Or a particularly beautiful eye color. A poet. Sometimes it was just a man’s talent or his passion for life or love or even just an ideal.”
The wistful look in her eyes had me wondering if there was some truth to her words. What was it about me that made Hope want to sleep with me? To keep sleeping with me? “You’re serious?”
“Oh, yes. It’s not always about wanting long-term love or anything more than a few shared moments and memories. I’ve had some memorable one- or two-night love affairs, and that’s what they were love affairs. Passionate but also love.” The last word was pointed and her expression sober as if she was trying to make sure I picked up some unspoken hint.
I wasn’t in the mood to read between the lines and even if I was, I knew where Ma’s loyalties were at the moment. With Audrey pregnant and headed down the aisle soon, she had her eyes on a passel of grandchildren. I stood and washed my hands. “I think you mean lust, Ma.”
“All good love affairs contain a healthy amount of lust, Will. It’s the thing that makes everything else so strong, so potent.”
“Then you get it. Why does hanging out have to be more or lead to more?”
She glared at me or maybe it was the words—either way the effect had me taking a step back, flashbacks of wooden spoons flitting through my mind. “It doesn’t have to but it is the natural way of things, especially as time passes. Of course it’s clear to anyone with a working set of eyes that you’re in love with Hope. I just hope you don’t look for a way to screw it up.”
I snorted at her words. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ma.” Weird that was the part of her statement I chose to focus on, but shock had already started to set in.
“I love you, boy, with your flaws and all, but your early childhood left scars you don’t seem to be aware of. You’re wary of women and relationships, like they carry the plague. You steer clear of’em more than any man I ever met in all my years. But you look at Hope differently. You love her and when you finally realize it, I’m worried you’ll find a way to screw it up.”
“I don’t love her,” I insisted weakly. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t love anyone other than Ma and Audrey, maybe a few of my friends. But not a woman I was sleeping with. Never that. I didn’t do that kind of love.
Romantic love. Not at all.
“All right,” Ma said, a sad kind of resignation in her voice that made me feel like I just kicked a puppy. “Let’s fill our bellies while you tell me about one of your rescues this week.”
That was something I could do in my sleep and it was one of my favorite ways to spend a lunch hour, regaling Ma with stories of the cases and people I came across every day.
* * *
Fifteen minutes of sitting on the frilly glider on what passed for Hope’s front patio and I was ready to call it a night. We didn’t have plans but I was still annoyed that she wasn’t here. Wasn’t at the diner, either. She wasn’t anywhere and I had no guesses on where to find her.
The fact that
I was upset about it only pissed me off more. Hope didn’t owe me any explanations and she certainly didn’t have to account her whereabouts to me. But still, I sat there barely gliding and stewing, wondering where she was. Wondering who she was with. What they were doing.
The sound of a big truck that needed a few repairs grew louder by the second, drawing my eyes to Scott’s familiar blue pickup. And an equally familiar head of pink hair. “Thanks for the lift, Scott. And the show.”
His deep laugh sounded and his smile was wide and genuine. “Anytime. Good luck with your, uh, thing.”
“Thanks,” she laughed. “And I promise to never make you choose colors again.” That laugh was so familiar, so friendly. I didn’t like it. “I’ll show you those designs in a few days.”
“Can’t wait,” he said and put the truck in reverse, tossing a wave my way when he spotted me. As if it were no big deal that another man was waiting for her after their afternoon together.
What the fuck?
“Hey, Will. What are you doing here?” She didn’t seem unhappy to see me but she also didn’t seem happy. Just surprised.
“Can’t I stop by to see you?”
She blinked as if it had never occurred to her. “Uh, sure, I guess. Come on in.”
“What designs are you showing Scott?” It wasn’t the first time the big burly vet had shown an interest in Hope but it was the first real sign that she might be interested right back.
Hope shrugged and unlocked her door, stepping inside and kicking off her shoes at the same time. “Just something I’m working on for him.”
“You’re designing lingerie especially for Scott?”
She glanced over her shoulder at my tone and arched a brow. “Excuse me?”
“What are you designing for him?” A smart man would have listened to her tone and heeded the warning, but I never claimed to be a smart man.
“Why do you care, Will? This is just convenient sex for you, isn’t it?” She waited a beat, again wearing the smug smile that said she knew I wouldn’t deny it. I hated that smile the most. “That’s what I thought.”
“That doesn’t answer the question, Hope.”
She barked out a laugh. “You’re not getting an answer, Will. This is fun and easy, no strings, no commitment. Remember? That goes both ways, you know.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Just because I wasn’t a smart man didn’t mean I was an idiot. “You’re sleeping with Scott.”
“Of course that’s what you think. Just because you only started noticing I was alive when your dick did, doesn’t mean that’s all I have to offer.”
“I don’t—”
She cut me off, quickly. Sharply. “You do. Obviously. Now if you don’t mind, my vagina is sore from all the sex I had with Scott today and I think I’ll have a hot bath.” Her expression was bored but the little flare of her nostrils said she was also angry. Very, very angry.
“Come on, Hope. Let’s talk about this.” I held my breath and waited for the eruption of emotion, for the accusations. For something. Anything.
But none of it ever came. “There’s nothing to talk about, Will.” Her voice was calm, even. “You said what you had to and now it’s done.” She didn’t say it but I had a feeling she meant we were done. “I have some work to do.”
Big green eyes, nearly black with anger or rage, or maybe even hurt, stared up at me. Waiting for me to leave. I wanted to leave; the air between us was uncomfortable and too tense for my liking. Too bad my feet were glued to the floor. “Hope.” I didn’t even know what I would have said if she’d been in a listening mood.
“Good night, Will.”
I couldn’t leave it at that. Not after all this. I wasn’t ready to walk away from Hope but I didn’t love her, despite what Ma thought. “I’ll see you real soon, Hope.”
“No, you—” I cut her words off with a hungry, eager kiss. My tongue swept inside her mouth and she leaned in, gave in, and succumbed to me. To the heat between us. When she moaned, I pulled back wearing a satisfied smile.
“I’ll see you soon,” I told her once again and walked out, feeling smug as hell.
Everything was right with the world once again.
Hope
I was headed for heartache at one thousand miles an hour and I didn’t have a helmet or any other protective gear. I was insane. That was the only explanation that made sense. It was the only thing that explained why I was in my kitchen with three burners going while Will had his arms wrapped around me and his sweet lips on that spot just behind my ear. “If you don’t put your lips someplace else, we’re never gonna eat.” I hadn’t eaten all day and the scent of the marinara sauce was making my mouth water.
Or maybe it was the man doing his level best to drive me crazy.
Too late, buddy. I’m well past crazy.
“But I like where my lips are,” he purred against my skin as his lips went from behind my ear to the back of neck and across one shoulder. Will’s kisses were soft, gentle. Teasing. Addictive. “Unless there’s some place else you want them?”
Yes, please. I turned to see his smiling face, his eyes dancing with mischief and knew that resistance was futile. Just because my head and my heart knew that this thing with me and Will was going nowhere beyond another week or two, it didn’t mean that I didn’t want to revel in every moment we had left. It was pathetic, maybe even pitiful, but my poor starved heart didn’t seem to give a good dang. “I do, Will. I want you to kiss me everywhere.”
His silver gaze darkened to storm clouds and his jaw clenched tight. “I can definitely do that.” Reaching past me, Will turned off the stove before he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me just the few feet to my bedroom. He tossed me on the mattress, growling when I began to strip off my clothes. “Stop.”
I froze. “What?”
“Let me.” He knelt on the bed and tugged at my ankle, pulling me until my legs hung off the edge of the bed while he slowly peeled off my clothes. “Your skin is so damn smooth.” His low voice came out on a growl. A dark, deeply erotic growl erupted from him that made my nipples pebble. “Hope.”
The way his hands slid over my body, roaming as if they were in search of some great treasure, was intoxicating. My mind was hazy as he touched me all over, worshipping my body with his hands. And then his mouth. “Will,” I moaned when his tongue scraped against my swollen sex, sending my hips bucking off the bed. My body gave in to the pleasure he heaped on me, one hand tangling in his overgrown hair while the other reached for him, his shoulder, his back. Anything. Everywhere I could reach. “Will, yes.”
His mouth worked me in slow, sensual laps until my body vibrated like a tuning rod, preparing for what I knew would be a powerful orgasm. It started at the tips of my toes, curling them under as the electricity zipped through my veins, arcing between me and Will and growing more powerful with every leap. His hands gripped me tight, all while his mouth worked me over until pleasure shot out of every pore of my body, his name a scream on my lips to punctuate the powerful orgasm.
My limbs tingled with satisfaction and pleasure, short aftershocks making my whole body shake while Will looked on, satisfaction shining in his silver eyes. “That never, ever gets old. Your mouth is magical, Will.” A nervous, giddy laugh erupted from me because I felt good. Too good. Better than I’d felt in a long time and that was just the appetizer.
The opening act.
He laughed and kissed his way up my body, slowly, sensually. Tantalizingly deliberate in his efforts. “You taste like honey,” he growled and pulled a nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking before nibbling his way around the soft flesh around the nipple. “Honey and something else that I can’t quite name. Sunshine and Hope.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against his sweet words. Words my heart longed to hear from those lips. But it was a lie, words spoken in the heat of passion and nothing more.
I kept my eyes closed even as our bodies came together, wild and frantic, like our he
arts and bodies knew something the rest of us didn’t. Like maybe this was the end of the road for us. It was a thought I didn’t want to have, not now, when everything felt so special. So significant.
So poignant.
“Will.” It was as if his name was the only word in my vocabulary, dripping from my lips the way the slick of sweat dripped between us. The way his hips moved against mine, the brush of his rough hair against my sensitive, overheated skin, it was all too much. “Will.”
“Oh, Hope.” He growled and groaned, holding me too tight and too close to be comfortable but it felt so good that I didn’t want to be anywhere else. Not when he looked at me like he wanted forever. His silver eyes never left mine as he thrust into me and I was left defenseless against his potent masculine smile, the sheen of affection in his gaze.
How could I resist when my body already belonged to him and my heart had been handed over years ago? How could I resist the way he felt as he sank into my body over and over again, pounding hard as he gripped me tight, laser focused on our combined pleasure.
“Hope. Sweet, sweet Hope. Oh fuck!” His hips moved faster and faster, my name dropped from his lips in a whispered frenzy that I felt all the way down to my toes. “Hope!” Pleasure thundered out of him, swaying my bed as he rocked into me, shooting his pleasure deep into my body until I had no choice but to own up to my feelings. To face the way he made me feel, the way that being with him, naked like this, felt.
I could blame the pleasure. The sensuality of the moment or even the look in his eyes, all of them would have been good, solid excuses. But the truth was that it was harder to keep it inside than to stop the tumble of words. “Oh, Will, yes. Will, I love you.” It wasn’t some big declaration like in the movies; it was a soft, gentle, satisfied declaration. It was my heart speaking to his in a way that I never knew was possible, but it was. I wanted to live in this moment, to stay there forever because I knew what was waiting on the other side.
Undesired: A Best Friend’s Brother Romance Page 12