Somehow, I got the privilege of being the bad guy in this scenario and I didn’t like it. Not one fucking bit. Hope. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, about the tear she wiped away before leaving Scott standing in the park staring after her. I wanted to know what had caused it, but I’d given up any right to ask her anything.
“Okay, we’re good to go. I hope you plan to wear an actual smile because no one wants to look at a depressed hottie.” She flashed a sympathetic grin that told me that every resident of Tulip knew what had happened with me and Hope. Or at least thought they did.
“I’m smiling. It’s called a smolder.”
Janey snorted and rolled her eyes. “It’s called brooding and that’s only hot in person. I expect you to smile even if your heart is breaking.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She smiled sympathetically, again, and rolled her eyes as the familiar sound of Scott’s blue truck stopped in front of us. “Special delivery!”
“He’s my co-star?”
Janey barked out a laugh as she made her way to where Scott’s big, lumbering body crossed the grass. “No. They hitched a ride with him.”
Scott held a small pit bull puppy wearing a red T-shirt that said, Adopt Me, I’m Adorable. “Hey, Will. What do you think of these shirts Hope created? Pretty great, right?”
Janey held a puppy in one hand, wearing a white T-shirt that said Adorably Bad to the Bone. All the animals, mostly puppies and kittens with a few older dogs, wore colorful T-shirts with little sayings on it. “Oh, look at this one!” She knelt beside an older St. Bernard wearing a shirt that said, Save Me From a Lifetime Without Cuddles. “Can you even stand it?”
Hell no. I couldn’t because it all suddenly made sense to me now. Hope made these for Scott; these were the designs he couldn’t wait to see. “They’re great, man. Excellent marketing.”
“Hope thought so,” he said with a smile, shaking his head in disbelief. “She hitched a ride into Dallas with me and somehow talked me into T-shirts. For pets.”
That sounded so much like Hope, I couldn’t help but laugh. “How did the adoption fair go over the weekend?”
“It went great. Seventeen adoptions and a few more foster families. Thanks for all your help, man.” Scott laughed and nodded at the St. Bernard who now rested at my feet. “Looks like you’ve got a fan.”
The old dog, aptly named Mustang since he was as big as a horse, had taken a shine to me and even once Scott was gone, he stayed by my side the entire time. Resting at my feet and nuzzling my hand whenever I gave him a chance. “How you doing, ol’ boy?” My words were met with a surprisingly gentle doggy kiss.
“How did you not know about these shirts?” Janey stood and stared down at me, looking like she wanted to fight.
“Because I’m an asshole.” That was what I realized by the time the photoshoot was over. I was a callous asshole and just about everything Hope had said about me was true. How would I know anything about her life when I made no effort to know it?
“At least you recognize it. That puts you ahead of the pack.”
“Gee thanks, Janey.” I let out a sardonic laugh that made her grin. “I messed up.”
“Then fix it. As long as you’re both alive, there’s always a chance to fix it.”
The question was, did I want to fix it? Was fixing things with Hope worth the headache of the whole town planning a wedding from day one? Was it worth the constant questions about making an honest woman out of her or pushing out babies?
The answer came quickly. Easily.
Yes. Hell yes, it was worth it.
Hope was worth it.
The only problem was, I was pretty sure now that I was no longer worth it. Worth the love and affection that always shined in her eyes when she looked at me. I’d proven myself to be unworthy of Hope’s love time and time again, and now it was time to earn it. Anyway I could. “Any suggestions?”
“Yeah. Grovel. A lot.” She huffed out a laugh and shook her head. “You know Hope better than I do, Will. Start with groveling and the rest will work itself out.”
“Thanks, Janey.” I flashed a smile and she quickly snapped a few more shots.
“Thanks for the smile. I was worried I wasted all these adorable pets on your ugly scowl.” She grinned and nuzzled another one of the kittens.
“Ugly? You have at least ten cover photos in the batch. Guaranteed.”
“With that confidence, Hope will forgive you in no time.”
“From your ears, Janey.” I just hoped that there was a chance to fix things with Hope. Now that I knew how much she meant to me, now that I knew my own heart, it was important that I get some face time with her.
Right away.
Waiting with Janey for Scott to show up and pick up the pets, a few ideas rolled through my mind. Things that would make Hope smile, that would get her to open up enough to hear me out.
Hope
Pacing back and forth in the small confines of the cottage house was not a productive use of my time, but my fitness app was tracking the steps so it counted as exercise, dang it. I had a little less than a month to get everything ready for the official retail launch of my line. Hopeless Romantic would be fun, feminine, and romantic and the logo reflected it, or so Mikki had said. It sounded good to me and it made the whole thing seem less pathetic.
Then again, pathetic was kind of my jam lately.
“Nope. Not going there.” Whenever my thoughts strayed to Will, which was almost constantly, I shut it down. I couldn’t afford the distraction of being brokenhearted right now. Maybe later. Hopefully never.
A knock on the door stopped my pacing and I stared at the door like I could somehow see through it, which would have been helpful at the moment. I wasn’t good company to be around, but I was too polite to ignore them, whoever they were.
Opening the door and having my heart leap like an Olympic gymnast only made me wish I had ignored it. “Will. What are you doing here?” Even looking at him hurt. Not as much as having him disappear on me without a word, but still.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” I heard honest-to-goodness confusion in his voice that matched the expression on his handsome face and it only made me angry. Was I such a doormat that he would think I’d want to see him after how he treated me?
“I’m not avoiding you. I’m giving us both space.” Time and space would make these months with Will nothing but a memory. A bittersweet memory of what had almost been, a wistful thought on occasion. Of possibilities. “Why are you here?” I was proud of myself for keeping my voice even and cool.
“I was hoping we could talk.” He did a good job of looking delicious and vulnerable. It was irresistible and it made me want to listen because that would give me hope.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Will.” I tried to close the door; his hand shot out and caught it about an inch before I was rid of him for good. Glaring at him did nothing but hurt my heart and make him smile. “I don’t want to talk to you, Will.”
“Good.” He invaded my space until I stepped back to find myself caught in his arms. I stepped back and the jerk grinned. “Just listen then.”
Arms folded, I glared at him from the center of my living room. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. When words would have mattered, you disappeared.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” He scrubbed a hand over his face, blowing out a long frustrated breath. Whether the frustration was aimed at him or me, I didn’t know. “I’m no good at relationships, Hope. I just don’t have that gene.”
“How would you know? I’ve never even seen you in one.”
He shrugged. “It’s because I know I’m no good at it. Committing. Sticking around. And when you said you loved me, that’s what came to mind. Commitment. Long-term stuff like mortgages. Kids. College.”
That all sounded nice. In theory. “Bullshit. You weren’t scared, you were angry and you punished me by running away. By avoiding me.” He’d bee
n cold and callous, not afraid. “You had plenty of time to say something, anything. And you didn’t.” Like I wasn’t even important enough to dump or let down.
“You’re right. I did run away and I did avoid you, but not because I don’t feel the same way. I do and that’s what scared the shit out of me, Hope. I don’t believe in love. I don’t do love because love doesn’t last.” His chest heave and his silver eyes were almost clear and filled with an emotion I couldn’t quite place.
If he truly didn’t believe in love, that would be heartbreaking but once again, I had to tell him the truth. “Bullshit. You love Helen and Audrey. You love Walker and Jase.”
He shrugged as if he’d just realized that was true. “It’s different.”
“Different how?”
“I don’t know. It’s not the same, Hope.”
“For a guy who barged in here to talk, you don’t have a lot to say.” Hands on my hips to keep them from shaking, I glared just over his shoulder because there way no way I was getting swept up in whatever he was after here.
He stood three feet from me and stared, fear and uncertainty blended with just a hint of anger in his gray depths and I finally understood it all.
“You can love them because they aren’t asking anything you aren’t willing to give. You just hang out and have a good time with your friends, listen when they need you to, and lend a hand when asked. Same with your mom and sister.” That kind of love came easily to most people, including Will. Maybe especially him. “You want an easy, convenient kind of love, Will. I don’t have that. I love you but that doesn’t mean I’ll never get mad at you or scream at you, or even hurt you. I probably will and you’d probably do the same, because we’re human. But you’re unwilling to even try.”
“Hope.” That one word was a plea, but I was done with being understanding. It hadn’t gotten me anywhere worth getting.
“No. I get it and I’m sorry that’s not the love I have to give.” For a moment, that was true. I was sorry. But not sorry enough to accept his version of love. I needed a drink. Something cold and strong.
“Dammit, Hope, I’m just coming to terms with being in love with you for crying out loud. Give me a damn minute!”
I froze in front of the fridge, the cold air not as big a shock to my system as the words out of Will’s mouth. “You what?” I shook my head like they do in the movies, because I got it, there were just something that sounded exactly like what you wanted to hear, that you had to be sure it wasn’t a hallucination. “Come again?”
His lips twitched and I felt a tiny flutter of something that felt like hope deep in my chest. Will raked a hand through his thick, overgrown black hair. “I fought it for a long time, how I felt about you. I even took you for granted, but not on purpose, Hope. You have to believe I wouldn’t do that to you on purpose. Not ever.”
I nodded. Sad and disappointed at the truth. “I know, Will. You just didn’t see me.” It had been my greatest wish for so long and then Spring Fling happened.
He smiled. “And now you’re all I see.” Damn, he was good. “I missed you, Hope. Something would happen at work this past week and I wanted to call you, to tell you something funny or gross I heard. But I couldn’t.”
I arched a brow as if to say, “Really?” and he shrugged.
“Okay, I could have but I didn’t. I was scared. We already covered that. Try to keep up, would you?” His tone was upbeat, his eyes alight with mischief and something that could be mistaken for affection.
“Right,” I told him in mock seriousness. “Sorry. You were terrified. Carry on.” He glared and a laugh bubbled up out of me, sucking all the seriousness out of the moment.
“What I’m trying to say, Hope, is that I love you.” His smile was big and genuine and bright. “I love that you make everyone feel welcome with your gorgeous smile. I’m so proud of you for going after your dreams in a way that let you stay right here. Close to me.” I laughed and he joined in.
“So you’re saying that you love me, huh?” I didn’t mean to tease him but I was giddy. My head was spinning and I was only fifty-fifty that this wasn’t some stress induced hallucination.
“I am.”
“Why should I believe you?” I wanted to, with my whole heart, but I needed to know what was different. “I said the same to you not two weeks ago and you ran.”
“You have no reason to believe me. None at all,” he agreed more easily than I expected. Which was kind of disheartening. “I didn’t treasure you the way I should have, but I’m going to.” He grabbed my arm, catching me off guard, and pulled me close until I could see the shades of gray that flecked his eyes. While I got lost in his eyes, Will pulled me forward and out of the front doorway.
He stood in front of me and when he moved, there were two dogs on what passed for my lawn. A gigantic Saint Bernard that looked weirdly familiar relaxed in the shade while the tiniest pit bull puppy nipped and played with him. “Who are these guys?”
“This big one is Mustang and I’m fostering him until I prove to Scott and myself that we’re a good match.” He bent down and picked up the puppy who licked at his face and hands excitedly. “And this guy is the puppy you always wanted.”
I sucked in a breath. “You remembered.” It was one of the few times I’d actually shared something with him. “That Friday you brought Greek all the way from the city.”
“Had to take an insufferable socialite to the hospital of her choice and that’s what she chose. The only good thing about that trip was the grilled octopus.” He grinned at the memory and I did too. It was a good one from start to finish. “And afterwards.”
“I don’t know, Will.”
“What’s not to know? It’ll be you, me, and these two. We’ll learn how to be doggy parents together.”
My heart swelled with love and affection for this man. He was good, just plain good. All the way down to his bones, and they were mighty fine bones surrounded by even finer flesh. How could I not love him? “Did you just say doggy parents?” And mocking him—that was a benefit of being in love, after all. Wasn’t it?
“I did. It’s the perfect prep work for being human parents.”
I gasped. Was he … did that mean? I shook myself out of the loop my brain seemed to be stuck on and looked up into his smiling face. “Sounds like an adventure.”
“It will be. As long as we’re together.”
I nodded, my heart free to love this man any way I sought fit. “One condition.”
“Anything,” he said seriously and I believed him.
“Say it again.” Maybe it made me needy to hear it again, but I did.
Will, of course, did even better. “I love you, Hope. Madly. Deeply. Eternally. I love you with all my heart. And now,” he stepped closer and removed the puppy from my hands, taking him and whistling for Mustang to follow to the fence in backyard area. He turned to me with a dark smile and heat in his eyes. “And now I get to show you just how much.”
And he did.
Oh, how he did!
Will
One Month Later
Hopeless Romantic. It was the perfect name for Hope’s lingerie company, and a big sign hung across the front display of Mikki’s boutique, half of which featured her designs. It was sexy as hell, which I realized was a weird thing to say about headless mannequin women, but it was true. The scene looked like two friends lingerie shopping for something special. Something big.
“Dude, it is totally creepy to catch you drooling over the display like this.” Audrey smacked my arm with a mock scowl on her face. “Seriously creepy.”
“I wasn’t drooling. I was simply admiring my girl’s work.”
“God, I can’t decide if that’s sweet or sickening.” She smiled at me but I wasn’t foolish enough to fall for it. Sure enough, it turned wicked in seconds. “It’s kind of nice to see you all whipped.”
Whipped? “Did you say whipped?” I wasn’t whipped.
“Yeah. It’s adorable.” She turned back to the d
isplay. “If you’re not whipped, why are you drooling over lingerie you’ve probably seen in action.”
If by action, she meant on our bedroom floor, yeah. “Maybe I’m reliving the action.”
“Gross.” She backhanded me in the gut and like the good brother I was, I guided her inside Mikki’s air-conditioned shop where Hope was determined to pace a hole in the carpet. “See, that’s a look that says totally whipped.”
Audrey cracked a whip sound beside me but I barely heard her because I only had eyes for Hope. In a green dress that looked like a T-shirt, there was a tiny belt that hugged her waist and that made her hips flare out. Those hips were my hands’ favorite resting place. The moment she saw me, her frown disappeared. “Hey!”
I didn’t take it personally that she wrapped me and Audrey in the same hug, but when she pulled back, I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I pulled her close and kissed her until she melted into me, until the stress that tightened her shoulders disappeared.
“Hello? Public space.” Audrey’s voice brought me back to the shop and I smiled down at Hope.
“Hey, yourself. Nervous?”
A smile crossed her lips as she leaned into me, hard nipples pressed into my chest, teasing the hell out of me, but it was a feeling that didn’t get old, having her in my arms. “So nervous. What if no one shows up?”
“Is she still talkin’ nonsense?” Mikki joined us, arms crossed and looking as put together as she always did. “Honey, I’ve got five orders set aside already. Your biggest problem might be fulfilling your demand.”
I believed her. “See, babe, nothing to worry about. You’ll get rich now that all the old ladies in town have taken up matchmaking the Hometown Heroes. Think of all the single women who’ll buy your lingerie, hoping to land a catch the way you did.”
“Ugh, gross.” Audrey.
Hope giggled and leaned into me, squeezing my bicep with mischief burning in those green eyes. “A catch, huh?”
“Yep.” Another thought occurred to me. “Imagine Nate and Scott and, oh man, Jase. He’s gotta be at the top of their hit list.”
Undesired: A Best Friend’s Brother Romance Page 14