“Perfect,” he says, pulling out the chair opposite me and taking a seat. “You all right?”
“Yep.”
He takes another long swig from his bottle and keeps shifting in the chair restlessly for a few moments. I know something’s up right away, because that’s his reaction when he’s nervous or uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry, Alana.”
“I know. We’ve already been through this,” I say, more than a little shocked that he’s apologizing to me again. I know how hard it is for him to admit fault.
“That’s not what I’m talking about now. I mean…for making you into a killer. For setting you on that path.”
Holy shit.
“What?” I gasp, absolutely shocked.
“You deserved better than me.”
“Dean…Slasher…you helped me when I needed it.”
He shakes his head. “It was selfish. I had an ulterior motive. I groomed you to be like me.” He takes another swig of whiskey. “I just didn’t want to be alone anymore, Alana. And no one could be with me, except someone else like me. So, when we crossed paths and I saw that spark in you and that potential, I saw it as my chance.”
“You taught me what I needed to learn to survive at the time, Dean. Don’t apologize for that.”
He leans across the desk suddenly and grabs my hand. His eyes are imploring as he tells me, “I want you to be happy now. After this is over and you walk away, I want you to stay gone.”
“I’m going to.”
“No, gorgeous. Not just from the job. From all of it.” He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, looking pained. And then he says, “I want you to stay away from me.”
I rip my hand away and shoot to my feet. “What? What the hell are you talking about?”
He follows my lead and gets to his feet as well. “Alana, I kidnapped you and bound you to a bed in a sleazy motel room.”
“I’m well aware,” I say, folding my arms across my chest.
“And you forgave me.” He snaps his fingers. “Just like that.”
“You—”
He holds up his hand. “No. There is no justification, Alana. It’s messed up. What I did was and so was the way you just took it on the chin.” He sucks in a breath and takes a step closer to me. “You have a connection to me. It started as a mentor-student thing, but it morphed into something more over the years. Something way more intense. But it’ll always be rooted in that—in the fact that you think I saved you. You came to me right after what happened with Forest and you think I made you strong. I may have given you the tools, but it was actually you who pulled it off.”
“Stop it!” I can’t stand hearing him reference that awful time.
He takes another step closer. “I can’t, Alana. You need to hear this.” He reaches out and gently grabs my hand. “No matter what I do, you’ll always come back to me. Somehow. Someway. I know it. You know it. Fuck, Damon even knows it. And that’s not good. He’s the one for you.” He eyes my belly. “You’re building a family together. With me around, you’ll always be pulling yourself in two different directions. And it will break you, Alana. You’ll never be able to move on. And I want you to. I want a better life for you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that, once this is over, I’m going to ground. You won’t find me again.”
I shake my head vigorously. “You’re overreacting.”
He squeezes my hand. “You know I’m not.”
I can’t speak. I can’t…I can’t move. I can’t absorb this.
I feel him wrap his arms around me and pull me into a tight bear hug. He whispers in my ear, “I know you don’t think I’m capable, but I’ve always loved you, Alana. We just weren’t meant to be together. You and Damon are. And you’re going to. You’re gonna be a good mom. You care, whether you like to admit it, or not. You care deeply.”
By the time he’s finished, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I’m sobbing into his chest uncontrollably.
I’m not a woman who cries…ever, really. But hearing this from him? Hearing the one person who’s been the one constant in my life for so long, telling me we’re suddenly never going to see each other again after the mission is over, is ripping right through me.
I know he’s right, though. He really is.
“Thank you,” I choke through my tears.
“For what, gorgeous?”
“For this final act of protection.”
His hold around me tightens. “I owe you.”
No more words are exchanged.
We just stand there holding one another.
It’s our silent long goodbye.
Chapter 8
~Damon~
Our position on the roof of an abandoned twenty-story apartment building is affording us an excellent view of the concrete compound opposite. Since my retirement, I’d never expected to be in a situation where I would use my thermal-imaging binoculars again. Yet, here I am doing just that now as I analyze the security surrounding the structure. The compound where, according to the intel Dean basically ripped out of Ivan’s body, Cartwright is currently holed up.
An eight-foot-high chain-link fence with a foot and a half of barbed wire at the top surrounds the entire property, along with two guard posts at the gates, each manned by one of Cartwright’s thugs, packing automatic weapons. Beyond that, eight more guards are overseeing the exterior. Two at the entrance and a team of two on the east, west and north side of the building. Thanks to the technology at my disposal, I’ve also been able to ascertain the number of people inside. Twenty three.
Shit. That’s some heavy security. We’re outnumbered in a major fucking way here.
Fortunately, with every security system, there are always weaknesses.
The first is that it’s not impervious to an aerial attack. All the exterior guards can be picked off with sniper shots. The second is they were too cocky to seal the windows. Even if they’re supposedly bullet proof, there’s a lot we can do with them.
I pull back from the railing and turn to Mark who’s examining the rooftop with my sniper equipment, gauging our field of fire, obstructions, and determining an overall strategy.
We’re decked out in heavy-duty tactical gear—both to blend into the night and, also, for protection. Even though this is strictly reconnaissance right now, the risk is there from just being this close to Cartwright’s current place of residence. That bastard has eyes everywhere. He’s good at what he does.
Mark senses my eyes on him and turns to face me. “This is excellent. Distance. Trajectory. Limited obstacles. Hell, it’s damn near perfect.”
I nod. “The compound’s heavily fortified. Dean and I can’t take them all on the ground. We’re gonna need to thin them out before we go in. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Damon, you’re not known for pussyfooting around something. Maybe Alana’s softened you, or maybe you’re already out of the game mentally. Already checked out of all this bullshit now you have her and you have your kid on the way. I don’t blame you. I would be, too. So, I’ll just say it then. I can control my mental state in the heat of a situation. I did at your condo. I made the kills I needed to and I’ll do the same when we hit that compound. I’ll make kill shots.”
“What about the aftermath?”
He breaks eye contact as he says, “I’ll be fine.”
He’s lying. He’s not comfortable telling me the truth.
“Look, we’re both in the same boat. You know all about that infamous shot I choked on a few years back.”
“I’ve got this.”
“I believe you. But you kill again and you might not be able to shut it out. It could trigger the shit you think you’ve worked through.”
“Damon, I—”
I lay my hand on his shoulder and tell him, “I’m saying, come talk to me. I’ll help you. Hell, the three of us will help each other. Don’t do it alone. We both know that never works out well.”
I actually see gratitude in
his eyes. And shock. A great deal of shock. “Thanks.”
“It’s not an empty offer. I know what it’s like,” I tell him, releasing him and stepping back.
He takes my words in, nodding. And then he asks me, “Why did you come back in? I mean, with your issues and—”
“For her. For Alana.”
He smiles. “Yeah, I get that.” He scrubs his hand over his face. “I don’t know what happened between you and Slasher that’s made you trust him now. But do you seriously believe that when this is all over, he’ll stop coming for her?”
I eye him warily. His question has me tensing, because the alliance between the three of us is already so fucking fragile. The last thing we need is any reignited animosity right before our upcoming mission. Three alpha males each used to being the commander-in-chief in everything they do and acting alone, trying to work together as a team is already gonna be a hell of a feat as it is.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Damon, he’s been obsessed with her for years.”
“I’m well aware of their history.” Their sordid history. As much as I may be able to look past it and the fact that I’m far from innocent either and I have my own bad history when it comes to relationshit, I’m still fucking human. I still don’t want to hear about it or be reminded of it. Having to work with two guys she’s fucked is enough of a reminder.
But I can see past it. For her. Because she’s mine now. Alana and our baby are the future and the rest…them…it’s all far in the past.
Jesus Christ. I just can’t wait until all of this is over. Then it’ll just be me and her. Our new family. It really is a fucking gift for a man like me. And once all these threats are gone, I’m gonna grab hold of it with both hands and never let go.
“He’ll back off,” I assure Mark.
“And if he doesn’t?” he presses, clearly having no intention of believing it. I get it. He’s been front and center when it comes to the two of them. He’s seen it up close.
I smile. “You think a man like me doesn’t always have a Plan B?”
“Thought so. Just checking.” He shifts his weight awkwardly then. “Because, you know, she will never be the one to make that break from him. Not for an extended period of time anyway. She managed it for a few years, but as soon as an excuse comes along, she lets him back into her life. There’s just a really deep connection between them.”
I nod. “She thinks he saved her.”
“She thinks he made her.”
“She’s not that anymore. She’s not that killer.”
His eyes flash with realization. “That’s why you’re so sure he’s really gonna back off.”
“He’s twisted, Mark. He can only love the killer in her. That dark. That part of her that’s shattered now.”
“You were right that day up at her safe house. She wasn’t happy.”
“She’s a complicated woman.”
“Not to you.”
“No,” I admit. “Not to me.”
He smiles and holds out his hand to me. “Take care of her, yeah?”
“You know what she’d say to that.”
He chuckles. “She’d say she doesn’t need anyone taking care of her.”
“Right,” I say, shaking his hand. “Maybe she’ll get it soon. Everyone needs a little taking care of, no matter how strong they are.”
Chapter 9
~Damon~
“Damon! What the hell?”
I turn towards the side entrance of my club to see Alana storming through the doors into the back alley where I’m leaning against the brick wall. I try my best to keep a straight face. She has no idea, but she looks so fucking cute when she’s pissed off with me.
“What, baby?”
She stops in front of me and pulls at the black silk robe tied around her. And then she points to her slippers.
I don’t get it. “Why are you wearing that?”
“I was taking a nap when your Head of Security called, saying you needed to meet urgently outside. What’s so urgent?”
“You could’ve taken the time to get dressed, Alana.”
Confusion blankets her face. “But I…well…I thought…” She bursts out laughing. “Wow,” she chokes through her laughter.
I step into her and rub her shoulders. “Wow what?”
“It’s just messed up how I automatically assumed it was some life and death situation, rather than you just wanting to see me. I wonder if we’ll ever be normal.”
I chuckle. “We will. We just need to start. And I promise we’ll get right on it after this last mission.” I kiss her hair and then pull back a little to look at her. “I just called you out here so we could have some alone time away from Dean and Mark and all my club staff.”
“Aww…that’s really…romantic of you, Damon.” She grins at me. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Hey. You want to talk about a lack of romance? Do you remember this alley?”
She rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest. “Yes.”
“And what happened here?” I press.
“I was trying to scratch an itch, I believe. Isn’t that what you’d called it in your limo later on?”
“What else did I tell you?” I ask, taking her hands in mine.
“Damon,” she protests, not liking where this is going. To an intimate place.
“Alana.”
She blows out a breath and breaks eye contact. “You said…you said I deserved…better.”
“That’s right. And?”
“And what?” she says, looking up at me curiously.
“Is that what you have now?”
“Are you fishing for compliments?”
I scoff. “Please. We both know my ego’s too big to need that.” Squeezing her hands, I tell her, “No. I’m asking, just to make sure. This thing with us has been a whirlwind from the start, Alana. You’re carrying my child now and we’re planning to settle down together. A lot has happened. I know you’re still working through my betrayal. So, I just want to know if you still stand where I do.”
She lets go of my hands and they come up and cup my face. She stretches onto her tiptoes and kisses my lips chastely. “I love you, Damon.” She draws in a breath and then eyes me intensely as she says, “My reaction to you working with my dad and Forest…it was shock. Towards them. Not for what you did. And…fear. And when I feel that, I…well you know…I shut down. I get why you did it. I don’t love you any less for it. In fact, if it’s possible, I might just love you more for it.”
“What?” I was not expecting that.
“I know how much you hate them. But, in spite of that, you rose above it all to work that plan to entrap them—for me.”
“I wanted them gone, Alana. No matter what it took.”
“You were reckless, because of it. Because of what’s between us.”
Fuck. “Dean told you the whole story?”
She nods. “While you and Mark were doing recon earlier, yeah. It came up.”
“Look, I—”
“Shh,” she says, pulling her hands from my grip and sliding them down my chest. “I know you’re not ready to talk about what happened at that awful place. Believe me, I get that better than anyone. If you ever feel like you can, I’ll be here to listen. But until then, let’s just focus on the future. Okay, baby?”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me. “Okay.”
We stay holding each other for a long while, before she pulls back and gazes up at me, her eyes hooded with lust as she runs her tongue over her top lip. Mmm. I recognize that look of hers instantly. It’s her let’s-fuck look.
“You know,” she says, running her hands up and down my chest. “Seeing you in tactical gear turns me on, Damon.”
She slides her hand down and cups my dick through my combat pants. Her eyes widen, clearly surprised I’m already as hard as steel for her.
“Seeing you in that sexy fucking robe turns me on, Alana.”
“Yeah?” she asks, coyly
. “Is that right?”
I tug her closer by her belt. “Yeah, especially when I know you’re naked beneath it.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I’m a very perceptive man.” I lean into her and growl in her ear, “Now, unzip me, baby.”
She shivers at my words. A sexy little smirk plays on her lips as her hands trail down to my belt. I watch her work the clasp quickly and then pull down the zipper. She hooks her fingers in the waistband of my pants and boxers and tugs in that rough way of hers that always turns me the fuck on. As soon as my cock springs free, she wraps her fingers around it and starts stroking me up and down.
I lose my dominating edge for a few moments and get lost in the feel of her fingers on me.
“Fuck, Alana,” I groan.
“I love driving you crazy,” she tells me.
I watch her lean down and I know she’s gonna make me lose control completely if she does what I know she’s about to and takes me in her mouth. That sweet mouth of hers has the ability to make any man lose himself.
I rip open her robe. It startles her and has her gasping in surprise as she’s suddenly exposed to me in all her naked glory. I grip her hips and spin us, pressing her up against the wall.
“Time to rewrite history.”
She wraps her legs around me and grips the back of my neck. “It should’ve been you.”
“Damn straight, it should’ve been,” I growl, nipping at her neck. I lower my mouth to her right tit and whisper, “No man can make you feel what I do, baby. No man takes you so far over the edge and has you wondering if you’re ever gonna come back down, like I do. No man fucks you as good as I do.”
“Yes!” she cries as I swirl my tongue around her already hard nipple.
I bite, suck and smother her tits with my mouth, driving her crazy. Her nails dig into my neck and she grinds her pussy against my cock, whimpering and panting.
“Mmm…I know, baby. I know.”
I know what she wants, but I’m not gonna give it to her. She knows what she’s got to do to get it. It’s all part of our power struggle during sex. Always fine by me. I love feeling her struggle to deny me, how desperate she gets thinking she can get what she wants without giving me her submission.
Dark Hearts (Part 4) (The Bleeding Love Series) Page 5