But she doesn’t.
She puts her head in her hands, sitting next to her mother, and she cries softly for Carmen.
“We’ll get her back, I promise,” I say.
“How do you know?” Darlene asks, voice muffled by her fingers. “How do you know, Jack?”
I take a deep breath. “I haven’t failed yet, have I?”
Sixty-Three
Norm and Tim walk up the road.
“Did the rest of the council survive?” Eve asks me as we watch Tim and Norm wind there way to the stronghold, their guns resting on their shoulders. I can see how dirty they are, the streaks of soot from the fire and the blood on their shirts.
A few moments have passed. The surprise and shock has turned to deep sadness, as if a black cloud of depression settled over us all.
Did they survive?
I don’t want to be the one to answer this question, but I have to. The rest of the council is as dead as the fifty-odd other people who were near that fence. I saw Zack torn apart and Ken pounced on by zombies. But how the hell can I say this? How can I put it gently, in a way where everyone — everyone whose hearts are already heavy — will be okay with hearing?
I can’t.
And I don’t.
I turn, face them, and shake my head.
Eve, who stands now, puts a hand over her chest. Then she wavers and stumbles like she’s about to pass out again. Darlene’s quick to her side and steadies her. Abby goes to her other hip.
Tabby says, “Eve, are you all right?”
I almost want to ask what kind of dumbass question is that? Of course she’s not all right. None of us are, her least of all.
“I-I think I should go sit down,” Eve says.
“Mom?” Darlene answers. “Mom, what about Carmen?”
Olive takes Darlene’s spot and puts Eve’s arm around her shoulder. “We’ll talk later,” Olive assures us.
“I’m all right, Olive, I’m all right,” Eve says. Tabby follows them. She’s not all right. None of us are.
The three women disappear into the stronghold, leaving Abby, Darlene, and I outside in the early afternoon sunlight.
Darlene’s tears are constant, yet she’s not sobbing. It breaks my heart. And again, I think to myself, Why couldn’t those bastards have taken me instead of Carmen? Then I don’t know if that would be any better. I would find a way out of that predicament — I always do — but who’s to say Carmen won’t?
That little voice of doubt in the back of my head, that’s who.
I take Darlene in my arms. She buries her face in my sweaty, burnt shirt, and sobs for her missing sister and the people we’ve lost today. We haven’t been here long at all, but I know how she feels because I feel the same way. The people who died, who were murdered by a suicide bomber, those people were not just strangers — they were family. People I would’ve known, people who would’ve come over to my house for dinner, who would’ve celebrated Darlene and I’s wedding, who I would’ve celebrated. All of them gone.
I feel my breathing speeding up, my face getting hotter.
“Fucking ridiculous,” Norm says.
Darlene and I separate. She wipes her eyes.
“Fucking ridiculous,” Norm repeats. Him and Tim walk up to us. Norm’s hair is all awry, one side of his shirt is ripped. There’s a fresh scratch going down his protruding ribs. “I’m going to gut every last one of those sons of b — ”
“I hate when you swear,” Tim says.
And Norm stops. His face goes red. “I know,” he says like a skulking teenager.
Tim turns to Darlene. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “Did you tell your — ”
I nod. “Yeah, she knows.”
“How’d she take it?” Tim asks.
“She’s not dead!” Abby shouts. “Geez, you’re all talking about Carmen like she’s already dead.”
Tim shakes his head. “I knew Walter, I saw firsthand what he was capable of — ”
“I don’t care what he’s capable of,” Abby says. “We haven’t let that stop us before.”
“I’m telling you,” Tim says. “You don’t want to mess — ”
That’s it. I don’t care if Tim and I go way back. I step toward him. He’s a little taller than me, and though he’s thin, he definitely has a few pounds on me, too, but that doesn’t matter. I grab him roughly by the shoulder and drag him away from Darlene, who still has fresh tears in her eyes.
“Tim, shut your mouth, okay?” I say.
He looks surprised, not angry or upset, just scared and surprised — and no, not scared of me. “What do you mean?”
“Carmen is Darlene’s sister. I don’t know if you forgot or not, but she doesn’t need to be hearing any of that crap about how Walter is a mad-dog killer,” I say.
He nods, mouths, Sorry.
“We always seem to go through some shit, don’t we, Jacky?” Norm says. “No need to worry. We’ll do what we always do. We’ll regroup, lock and load, and save the day.”
Hell yeah we will. I know no other way, I think.
Darlene’s cries are quiet, but powerful.
I sit next to her, pull her closer. “It’s going to be all right.”
She grabs me back, hard enough to pop my spine a few times.
Straining, I repeat what’s on my mind for the second time, “It’s going to be all right. We’re going to get Carmen back, I promise.”
And I fucking mean it. Walter and the red robes will pay.
Darlene goes on crying into my already-ruined t-shirt.
Sixty-Four
We all end up back in the same dining hall where we’d met the night before. There is only one table in the middle of the empty space. It’s big, but it looks so lonely.
Eve sits at the head of the table with her palms on her face. She looks like she’s either concentrating really hard or she’s had a stroke. Basically, she looks like a shell of the woman I saw twenty-four hours ago.
We enter the room, our footsteps echoing at ear-shattering decibel levels. Darlene walks like a zombie. I have to keep my arm around her to make sure she doesn’t fall. Tim and Norm have since cleaned up. Abby and I haven’t. We look pretty bad. I caught my reflection in a window on our way here, and let’s just say if I entered into a zombie beauty pageant, I would not win.
“Emergency council meeting,” Eve says. Her voice sounds so frail, I think if you could catch it, you could break it.
We sit down.
The two women, Tabby, who has a pile of used tissues on her left hand side and her right hand clasped with Eve’s, and Olive, the great and wise thirty-year old grandma type, try to offer us smiles, but they’re deflated.
It’s an odd feeling, really. Odd because this place was bustling and full of people and laughter and talking no less than a few hours ago. Now it’s like a graveyard.
The doors burst open. I feel my heart do a little stutter in my chest, my blood pressure spikes. Whenever something catches us off guard, I fear the worst. Then I hear the barking, and my fear is replaced with joy.
Cupcake dashes across the hard floor, claws clicking and overlarge-ears bouncing up and down.
“No! Bad dog!” one of the guards say.
I put a hand up and say, “It’s okay.”
Cupcake, a pretty big dog, jumps into my lap and smacks my ribs (which constantly hurt). The pain doesn’t bother me. I’m too happy for that.
“Hi, boy!” I say.
Cupcake seems to have missed me. He licks my face.
“The walls?” Eve says matter-of-factly.
“Kat and Robert are overseeing the rebuilding process. Should have it back up before the sun falls,” Tim answers.
I don’t know who those people are, but I’m glad they’re helping rebuild the wall.
“There’s been some extensive damage, though,” Tim continues. “It’ll take more than a simple patch-up job.”
“As I expected,” Eve says.
I’m amazed at how easily Eve has switched gears. She still
has tears drying in her eyes, yet she assumes the role of leader almost seamlessly.
She then looks at me. “Jack, stand up.”
It catches me off guard, not to mention I have a dog in my lap. Eve’s stare tells me I have no choice. So I get up and put Cupcake down.
“Thank you,” Eve says. “Now you, Abby, Norm, and my eldest daughter.”
They all rise. They don’t stand straight. They stand like men and women who have been broken. The closest one to normal is Norm, and I only think he’s better off than the rest of us because he has a few screws loose in his head.
Then Eve stands, too. “I’m offering you all a chance to sit on this council.” The way she says it gives me chills.
None of us speak. Eve watches.
Now, Tabby and Olive stand next to Eve. Reluctantly, Tim follows and stands with the rest of us. He doesn’t seem to be coping too well. Maybe he just hasn’t seen as much messed up shit as the rest of us.
“Do you accept our offer to join this council, to bring some semblance of the old world into the new world, to be a better you than you were the day before?” Eve asks.
I see Tabby is tearing up again. She reaches down and grabs one of her crumpled tissues, wipes her eyes.
I look to Norm and Abby, and I’m shocked to see them looking to me. A glance at Darlene shows me the same thing. Even Cupcake, with those human eyes, is looking up at me, beating his tail against the floor.
“Your call, little bro,” Norm says. “You’ve led us to this point.”
I feel my chest hitch with a storm of emotions. It’s been almost a year on the road with these people and I’ll never get used to the idea of being their leader. But I am. Time to man up.
I turn to Eve and nod my head. “We accept.”
Eve tries to smile. It’s stilted, almost robotic. “Good,” she says. “Please, raise your right hand.”
We all raise our hands.
“Repeat after me. I swear to protect this land with not only my strength, wits, and weapons, but also my heart…”
We repeat.
“When things get tough, I swear to stand my ground and show that I am tougher…”
Our turn.
“And as the world grows darker, I will strive to bring light back into it.”
Again, us. I get goosebumps. Even Cupcake has stopped his tail-wagging and silly antics and sits like a statue, watching us all with his human eyes.
“Now you are a part of this council,” Eve says. She sits down. Tabby, Olive, and Tim follow her, then us.
“That easy, huh?” Norm says.
Tim elbows him.
“Thank you,” Abby says. Elbowing Norm and telling him to shut up is usually her job.
“First order of business,” Eve says. “Fence reconstruction — ”
“What?” Darlene says. “Are you kidding, Mom?”
Eve looks at her stone-faced.
“Your daughter has been taken by some half-dead madman and you’re going to sit behind these walls and discuss fences?” Darlene scoffs. That old world attitude is showing again. It’s like looking at a gruesome car wreck. I don’t want to look away despite the squeamish feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Eve leans forward, folds her hands on the table, and says, “Now, Darlene, all the citizens of this place are my children, too. Their safety is the most important thing.”
A quick glance around the table shows averted eyes. Norm looks down at his lap. Abby plays with a loose thread on her dirty shirt. Tabby and Olive look at their hands which are also folded on the table’s surface. Tim looks at Norm.
“Your daughter is the most important thing,” Darlene says. She stands up and her chair goes flying out from behind her. It clatters off of the hardwood. Cupcake jumps and whines softly. “This is so typical of you, Mom.” She stares daggers at Eve. “You haven’t changed a bit. I should’ve known it the minute I saw dad tied up in the bathroom.”
Eve’s stone-face melts. Her cheeks flush and her gaze averts to the table along with everyone else except Darlene and I. I still can’t look away.
“I’m sorry,” Eve says, stifling a sob. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Sorry isn’t going to bring Carmen back, is it?” Darlene answers.
“Oh, my,” Tabby mutters and shakes her head.
“Shut up,” Darlene says.
Tabby does and goes back to fiddling with her tissues.
“Darlene,” Eve says. I see she’s crying now. Tears stream down her face noiselessly. Her hair is all disheveled and her clothes are askew, and suddenly she looks very frail. “I can’t magically bring Carmen back.”
“But you can try!” Darlene shouts. “Damn it, you can try. You don’t have to roll over. You could send a group of people out after her. Hell, we can go get her RIGHT NOW. It wouldn’t be the first rescue mission we’ve been a part of.”
Time to back up my fiancé. She’s right. “Yeah,” I say. “We’ll go after her right now.”
Eve walks around the edge of the table, looking more and more like an old woman. She takes Darlene’s hand, who flinches at her mother’s touch, and says, “Darlene, all of you, listen to me. If I could go out there myself, I would. But we don’t know much about what happened. Going without a plan is suicide. You know that. You’ve been out there. You know how bad it is. If it’s not the crazy men and women, it’s the zombies. There’s hardly ever a break. And — believe me, it hurts to say this — there’s a good chance Carmen is already gone.”
Ouch. The way she says it, with so much finality, like that final nail in a coffin, hurts me.
Darlene rips her hand away. “I can’t believe you!”
I get up now.
“Now’s not the time to fight,” I say. “We need to stick together.”
Eve ignores me.
“If you aren’t going to send someone after her, I’ll go myself,” Darlene says.
“I’m not and you’re not going. That’s final,” Eve says.
“You can’t control me anymore, Mom. I’m not a kid. I’m a grown woman.”
“A grown, stupid woman,” Eve says. “You’ll listen to me. I will lock you all up before I’ll let you go out there and kill yourselves. I’m just trying to protect you, Darlene. Listen to me. Please!”
“You can’t cage a wild animal,” Norm chimes in.
We all turn to him and say, “Shut up,” at the same time.
He does.
“Darlene, let us plan before we go after her,” Eve says.
“What’s the point?” Darlene says. “You think she’s already dead anyway.”
Eve shakes her head. “Maybe a long time ago, I wouldn’t have. But I know what it’s like out there. I know the chances are slim — ”
“But there’s still a chance,” I say.
Eve ignores me.
“I know the men and women who took her. I know the man who leads them,” Eve says. “They are sick, vile creatures. They make the zombies look tame.”
“Which is why time is of the essence,” I say. “Why we have to get her now before it’s too late.”
“We know crazies,” Norm says.
Abby nods, “Unfortunately, we do.”
“But if he wants this place back, he isn’t going to kill your daughter. He’ll need some form of leverage. Otherwise, I believe he would’ve killed her right there on the spot,” Norm finishes.
Eve looks like she’s weighing her words. Darlene watches with hope in her eyes.
“I think it’s suicide,” Olive says in her grandma voice. “I think we need to build the walls first.”
“Shut up,” Darlene whispers. Then, louder, “Shut up!”
Olive shrinks in her chair.
“This is my sister we’re talking about,” Darlene says.
Eve shakes her head. Tears drip off her jawline and onto the floor. “This is Walter we’re talking about,” she answers.
“Screw Walter,” Darlene says.
“Fuck him,” Norm echoes.
&
nbsp; “Yeah, fuck him,” Abby says.
I nod. “Fuck him and fuck the robed freaks who were backing him up. If anyone can get Carmen back in one piece, it’s us.” I look to Norm and Abby. They both nod, no hint of amusement on their faces. They are stone-cold serious. So am I.
“I won’t have it,” Eve says. “I won’t have you kill yourselves because we rushed when biding our time and developing a plan and a strategy would work perfectly well.”
“You don’t know that!” Darlene shouts.
“I’m sorry, Eve, but you’re wrong. We can do this with or without a plan,” I say.
“The answer is no. You will stay here until that wall is rebuilt and the fences are secured, and then we will devise a strategy with experienced fighters to get your sister back.”
“I thought we were part of this council,” Darlene says, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you, Mom.”
“We’re all a part of this council,” I say. “Let’s vote.”
“No. No!” Eve shouts.
No persuading her.
Darlene senses this, too. She rushes out of the room. I turn and follow after her, Cupcake at my heels.
Sixty-Five
“Darlene!” I shout after her. I almost brush shoulders with the man in Army fatigues standing guard outside the dining hall/council meeting room. The door bangs closed behind me.
“Everything okay?” the man, a younger fellow with a head full of curly brown hair, asks.
“Not really,” I say.
Darlene turns left and heads for the stairs to our bedroom. I catch her right before she goes up.
“Darlene,” I say.
“You’re not stopping me,” she says. Her eyes are all puffy and red. Tears come about a million miles an hour down her cheeks. “That’s my sister. My sister who I haven’t seen in almost two years. She’s out there and some madman’s got her. You don’t know how I feel, Jack.”
Truth is, I do know how she feels. And I’m going to get her sister back for her.
“Darlene,” I try again.
“You’re not stopping me.”
“No,” I say. “I’m coming with you.”
Her nostrils flare. She was expecting me to fight her. She wasn’t expecting this.
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