• • • • •
“What’s so damn important I had to be here personally?”
The President stormed into the Quantum Command Center. Director Martin looked up from the terminal where he stood over the shoulder of a technician. He pointed to the giant, main monitor.
The screen said, ‘Contact the President regarding authorization to proceed,’ in large words flashing in the middle of the monitor. The President kept walking as he looked at the screen.
“What the hell?” When he got next to the terminal with the Director, he finally looked away from the giant monitor. “What’s it talking about? What authorization?”
“I don’t know.” The Director shrugged his hands as he talked to his boss. “The system just locked up about an hour ago.”
“Where the hell is Farnsworth? I thought he was supposed to take care of any problems.” The President unconsciously glanced around the room while he said this, even though his conscious brain knew that Jay-L had not stepped inside this building since their video conference showdown last month. His eyes finally wandered back to the giant monitor with the cryptic message as the Director timidly answered him.
“Well, Sir, he has. Since the system came back online after you turned over the gold and Cheyenne mountain to him, he’s taken care of several technical issues, all remotely. But we can’t reach him, now.”
“Why not?” The President stopped and looked at the Director.
“Because, the only way he gave us to reach him was through this computer. There’s an emergency contact button under the help menu, but we can’t access it now.”
Just then, the small workstation in front of where they were standing switched screens. It now displayed a single button labeled, HELP. The technician at the workstation looked back over his shoulder and gulped. Then he shrugged as he looked at them both. His voice squeaked when he hesitantly spoke.
“What should I do?”
Director Martin looked at the President, who looked back at the technician. Then the President barked at him.
“Push the damn button!”
The technician jumped back around and pushed the HELP button on the touchscreen panel in front of him. The screen instantly changed, and Jay-L’s face appeared. He gave them a perfunctory quick smile.
“How nice to see you, Mr. President. I was just thinking about you.” Then he nodded toward the NSA chief. “Director Martin, always a pleasure. How may I help you, today?”
Director Martin looked at the President before answering. The President just shrugged at him. The Director turned back and spoke to the image of Jay-L on the workstation screen in front of them.
“Something happened a little while ago. The computer locked up.”
“Uh, gentlemen… I’m over here on the big screen.” Suddenly, the sound came from behind them, as the screen in front of the technician went blank.
The Director and the President turned around toward the giant wall monitor. Jay-L’s face was larger than life, again.
“Come on, step up to the front where I can see you… Much better. I can see your pretty faces now… Okay, what exactly was on the screen before you were able to reach me?”
“It said to contact the President regarding authorization to proceed.” The Director spoke as he moved next to the President and the lights over him suddenly brightened. It now looked like both the President and the Director had spotlights on them. The lights in the rest of the room started to dim as the President and the Director looked at each other. The Director shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slightly to let the President know that Jay-L must be messing with the lights. For his part, Jay-L hadn’t moved yet, and his face was poker smooth. Suddenly, he turned slightly to the side and looked at another monitor.
“I see… Let me check.” Jay-L typed a few commands and then stopped. He looked back at the camera with a very disapproving look. “Well Director, it seems that you were trying make OLGA do something that’s not legal. That’s why she wouldn’t do it. When you persisted in trying, she told you to contact the President.”
Director Martin looked at the President. “Sir, there was nothing illegal about our request. It’s covered under the Patriot Act.”
The President looked up and spoke to Jay-L. “Director Martin says the request was legal under the Patriot Act. So what’s the problem?”
Jay-L started laughing. Then slowly he began to laugh less. Finally, he stopped.
“Oh… you were being serious. For a minute, I thought you’d developed a sense of humor.” Jay-L started to shake his head. “You know, I always wondered… But I can see now how you managed to bankrupt a professional baseball team. You’re not all that bright.”
“Mr. Farnsworth, I’m in no mood for your insults or your games. As you are so fond of reminding me, we have a Treaty. If this computer is not operational then you’re in bre—”
“Hold on there, Buckeroo…” Jay-L’s voice suddenly boomed through the speakers around the room like the voice of God. “You’re obviously still a little confused. First, your computer has a name, it’s OLGA. And second, this is how this works. You want OLGA to do something for you under the terms of our Treaty, you ask her. If she says it’s okay, you get to do it. If she says you can’t do it because it’s illegal, then you better find another way to get what you want. ‘Cause she ain’t gonna help you. And neither am I. Why do you think I had you agree to a Treaty? Because that way, it was bound by International Law. HELGA and her little sister OLGA don’t just use American Law to determine the legality of what you’re trying to do. So go ahead and pass all the laws you want, and put all the signing statements on any of the legislation you still have time to fuck with. Hell, appoint all the Supreme Court Justices you can… because it won’t matter. If OLGA says it’s illegal… it’s illegal… end of story. I know you’re kinda fond of using the Constitution as your own personal urinal, but you’re gonna have to go back to following the rules.”
“Whose rules?” The President was shocked but wasn’t going to back down this time.
“Mine, for starters.” Jay-L sat back and crossed his arms.
“The United States isn’t going to be forced into following your rules.”
“You will if you want to use that computer in front of you.”
“That’s not what we agreed to.” The President was growing tired of this.
“Actually, it was. I said I’d give you a tool that you could use legally. And I never promised you anything else.” Then he leaned into the camera and his face became enormous on the screen. “But you, on the other hand, Mr. President… you gave me your word that you would honor our Treaty and not try to come after me. You’ve already broken our arrangement. Someone at the State Department has been trying to access my Passport file, most likely in order to track me. I warned you what would happen. My patience is at an end with you.” Jay-L was no longer smiling.
Now, the President tried a poker face. “I don’t know what your talking about. I had nothing to do with anybody trying to find—”
“Save it, shorty. You’re the main man in charge… you’re responsible. And besides, I know you’re lying.” Then Jay-L typed a few more commands and an audio waveform window opened on the immense monitor wall. As it began to play, the sound was a bit muffled, but the President could hear his own voice.
“Alright… go ahead. But Farnsworth said he’d find out. How you gonna do it without him knowing?”
Then the Vice President’s voice came over the recording.
“We’re gonna use someone way down the chain in State. A simple passport review for perfectly legitimate reasons. We won’t even use his name, just his number in a series of passport numbers that are called up for routine review. It’s the same thing we just did when we were digging up dirt on the Democrat candidates, nobody will know. When we find him, we have Delta go get him and then bring him back to us.”
The audio player file disappeared from the screen. Jay-L started to smile.
&n
bsp; “Would you like to change your bullshit story? Or shall I post this on the internet with the video of you promising to leave me alone? And, by the way, I’ve sent this to all the Democrat candidates. You probably just ensured their election in the fall. Congratulations.” Then Jay-L’s face went blank again as he dropped his smile and leaned in close to the camera.
The President dropped his jaw. The color also drained from his face.
“How did you get that recording? We were in the Oval Office. You can’t get a bug in there.”
Jay-L smiled very slowly this time. He was still close to the camera. For a moment, he looked pleasant. Then suddenly, the muscles in his face contracted in tiny, almost indistinguishable ways, and he got a menacing look. The size of the monitor and the close-proximity of Jay-L to the camera made it look like he was actually staring down upon the President. His voice deepened slightly, and he made the President wait just a moment longer than the socially accepted delay in responding. When he finally spoke, it was clearly in a threatening tone, and it was aimed squarely at the man standing before him.
“As long as you’re standing on this planet, I can listen in on you.”
It was just a boast.
For Jay-L to electronically eavesdrop on someone, they actually had to be standing near a phone line or something electrical; even the electricity in the wall, which was how he recorded the Oval Office. It was a trick he had just recently learned how to do using quantum fluctuations in background static. It was a technique that required such enormous processing capabilities, the only computer powerful enough to accomplish it was his computer. But Jay-L wasn’t going to let the President know that. He continued with his threatening posture and tone.
“You lied to me… You fucking lied to my face, Mr. President.”
“I’ve had it with you speaking to me this way. You will show me respect, Goddammit! I’m the President!”
“Not for much longer.” Jay-L smiled even larger at this.
The President pointed his finger at the giant screen. “I’m still in office you little shit. You’re not the only one with leverage, Mr. Farnsworth. Your little magic tricks with your computer are going to come to an end. I’ve still got time to make sure of that. I don’t care what our fucking contract says. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you have any control over my nuclear silos ever again… Nobody fucking threatens me!” The President was almost yelling.
Jay-L kept smiling. After a delayed pause, he calmly responded.
“What are you gonna do, little man? I’m not Saddam Hussein, or Kim Jung Ill for that matter. I’m not trying to obtain nukes. I’ve already got nukes… yours. Remember? Do I need to remind you?”
“You can’t use those nukes. You know you can’t arm them. So go ahead open the silo doors. No country is gonna launch a preemptive strike against the U.S. because a computer glitch opens a door on a missile, whether they’re armed or not.” The President had calmed down, but he had that smug look again.
“I see you failed to take my warning about playing chess with me.” Jay-L returned the smug face. “So here’s something else you should consider. I may not be able to arm those missiles. But you already know, I can make your computers SAY they’re armed. Well, here’s something I betcha didn’t know. I can launch those missiles. Oh, yes indeedy, I can. And you can’t stop me. And you know what the Chinese and the Russians will do when they detect incoming missiles that their systems will say are armed, as will yours? Do you think they’re gonna wait until your missiles land before they respond in kind? I believe the nature of Mutually-Assured-Destruction would dictate a somewhat more drastic and timely course of action. And by the time your bombs land and don’t go boom, because they’re not armed, you’ll have about ten minutes to accept the apologies of China and Russia. Because their missiles can’t be called back. And they ARE armed. You wanna fight with me? You’re gonna fight with my two new friends and business partners. And you’re gonna lose.”
Jay-L stopped here and sat back in his chair. The President was actually speechless. And the smug look was gone. Jay-L started back up.
“Oh, and I’m sure you’ve discovered by now… Actually I read the email that General LeBlanc sent you, so I know you’re aware that you can’t just disconnect those missile silos. Unless you wanna take them offline. And as soon as you do that, I’ll know, and I’ll take appropriate action. You’ll be responsible for making your country glow from nuclear fallout.”
The President stumbled out his words. “You… You’re bluffing… You’ll… you’ll never do that… That’s nuclear holocaust.” The President got a very sober look and straightened his posture.
Jay-L stopped and looked intensely at the President. Then he relaxed and smiled. “For a moment there, I thought you might actually be thinking, but you’re just blustering. Nevertheless, for the sake of argument, let’s assume you’re right. Let’s say I won’t let you get nuked. Let’s even say that you can stop me from using my computer against you. Guess what? It won’t matter. You’re still gonna honor our agreement, and you’re gonna do it the way I tell you to.”
The President was not giving up without a fight. “And exactly why would I do that?”
“Because, I own you, you fucking little twerp.” Before the President could get angry again, Jay-L kept going. “Wanna know why? Let me tell you. That deal the Chinese gave me to get my manufacturing operation cost them a lot of money… all of it upfront, because I don’t entirely trust them. And I took my payment in your debt, all of it. That’s right, moron. I’m your new banker. And if you fuck with me, I’ll call in every fucking penny you borrowed from China that you now owe to me. That’s almost half a trillion dollars, asshole. And I’ve checked your accounts, Mr. President. Your country doesn’t have that kind of loose change lying around. You’ve blown it all on those stupid wars of yours. And your credit is shit… Nobody’s gonna loan you any more money… not so you can pay me back. And if you try to balk on the debt to me, the Japanese are gonna get nervous and probably call in their debt, too. That’s what me and the Prime Minister were just discussing over tea last week. Germany will call in their debt, too, and quite possibly Great Britain. In fact, as soon as the whole world realizes that you won’t pay your bills, guess what they’re gonna do?”
Jay-L had slowly moved closer to the camera, again. He paused here for effect. The subconscious message was that what he was about to say next was very important. It worked. The President was subconsciously anticipating what was coming, and he knew it was gonna be bad. At just the right moment, Jay-L spoke.
“They’re gonna stop trading oil in U.S. dollars, that’s what… I’ve got the clout and money to make sure of it. And even someone as dumb as you probably knows what’ll happen to the U.S. if that transpires. It’ll make the Great Depression look like a school picnic at Disney World. And I’ll make it happen before the end of the summer. How’s that for a legacy, Mr. President? And you won’t recover this time, not completely. Your country will never be a superpower, again… Think of yourself as the U.S.S.R., and I’m Reagan… I’ll make sure that every fucking nation on the planet has more technological computing power than your entire country.”
Jay-L looked to see if he was getting through. He could see the President had lost his bluster, but Jay-L wasn’t finished yet. “And one more thing, when the economy goes bust… I’ll step in and buy your fucking country… one piece at a time if I have to. And Americans will sell it to me, because they’ll be broke. And I’ll use your money to do it. Fuck around, and I’ll force you to hand over your entire country to me. ‘Cause I’ll hold the fucking mortgage. And I won’t need my computer or your nukes to do it. I’ll use OPEC and the banking industry. And, by the way, who do you think has been driving up the cost of oil over the last several months?”
The President raised his eyebrows at this revelation.
“That’s right, me. I told the Saudis about the possibility of me calling in your debt, and I invested pretty hea
vily in oil futures… using your money, of course. They’ll stop trading in your greenbacks as soon as they hear you defaulted on the loans. So will everyone else.”
Jay-L leaned close to the camera again, and his face loomed over the room like a giant image of Big Brother. “Even if you take out me and my computer, your loans will still get called in, and the dollar will get dumped in OPEC. And there’s nothing that you can do to stop it. International debt lasts forever, Mr. President… especially that kind of debt… or didn’t you know that? Fucking with me will cause you to be responsible for the total destruction of the American economy. And you know I’m telling you the truth. Your country will be lucky if it doesn’t fall into civil war and split apart. Remember the Soviets?”
He paused again, just not as long. “That’s check and mate, Mr. President.”
The President was stunned and silent. He’d lost this fight, and he knew it. In an unusually focused moment of self-reflection, the President thought to himself, ‘This must be how Saddam felt when he finally realized the U.S. was going to make good on its threat.’ The President knew the threat Jay-L had just given him was real. And he’d just come to the realization that Jay-L would follow through with it. That epiphany was quickly followed by the sickening acceptance that, just as Jay-L told him, there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
Jay-L noticed as the President’s shoulders slumped forward slightly. He got a serious look and then spoke slowly to the President.
“If the threat of being blown off the planet doesn’t scare you, then maybe the thought of bankrupting your country overnight will convince you to honor our agreement and leave me alone. If you don’t wanna be allies, fine. But mark my word, Mr. President, you don’t want to be enemies… not with me. You better call off Delta, right now. I know they’re prepping a mission. And you better not try anything like this again, ever. You’re out of second chances. Fuck with me again in any way… it’s war.”
Jay-L leaned back. A crooked smile slowly crept across his face. His eyes actually glinted as he tilted his head slightly.
“I think we’re done here.”
And then Jay-L hung up on the President.
The God in the Clear Rock Page 23