He grinned. He must be the luckiest man alive to have a mate who was so clever. He’d have to be careful; she was sharp enough to outsmart him without even trying.
***
“I have ridden one of these before,” Jordan said after Skyla explained to him one more time how everything worked.
“Just trying to keep you safe,” she said, her body rubbing against his as she sat behind him and tried to get comfortable. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist, not because she was scared, but because there was no way she was going to let him fall off.
“Are we ready?” he asked, eager to get going. He had plotted the route he wanted to take, it was all in his head; he could picture the dips and valleys in the lower slopes, and had recalled the paths that were wide enough and not too steep for the ATV. “This is going to be fun.”
She gripped him tighter, her body pressing against his. “I hope so. I’m beginning to think this was not one of my better ideas.”
“It was, believe me,” he said, throttling forward, sending them shooting up the drive. Skyla let out a yelp, and he smiled, the rush of adrenaline coursing through him. “Hold tight.”
She said something he couldn’t hear, but he suspected she was cursing him. His grin widened. As if he would do anything to put her in danger! She was the most precious thing in his world, more precious than his own life. He loved that she cared about him, and cared that he should be reunited with his bear. Considering she wasn’t a shifter, he was so very grateful she still understood what that part of him meant to Jordan.
Turning left, he headed along the road, before veering off to the right, and guiding the quad up a rocky track, which narrowed and became more rugged. Expertly handling the bike, he took them up the first steep incline, and then zig-zagged his way up the next. Skyla leaned forward, using her legs to keep them both balanced.
Then they broke out onto the open meadow, and with a yell, he throttled forward, making the bike race across the ground. The wind whipped his hair, the cool air making his eyes stream as if he were crying tears of joy. On and on they went, until he saw the path they needed to take. He had overshot it and turned them around one hundred and eighty degrees in a spin before shooting off, dodging trees and undergrowth.
This path was steeper and he slowed, taking it carefully, gaining the momentum they needed for a turn before slowing to a crawl, the tires spilling rocks over the edge to drop away into the emptiness. This was more dangerous than he had remembered; it was one thing to climb this on four paws, another to climb it on four wheels.
Then they crested the ridge and he eased the throttle forward, going at a slower pace so Skyla had a chance to admire the view from the top of the Bluff. There he stopped, and was immediately hit by a tirade from his beautiful caregiver.
“What the hell do you think that was?” she asked. “You could have killed us.”
“I was in control,” he said, half turning, but he was stuck in position between the bike and Skyla’s strong thighs.
“One slip and we would have fallen over the edge.”
“It was steeper than I thought. I’m sorry, I know a different way back down.”
“Please don’t be reckless.”
“I won’t. I promise.” He chuckled. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it, having to hang on to me to keep yourself safe?”
“Is that what you think?” she asked, but her hands stayed tight around his waist. “And there was me thinking I was the one who was keeping you safe.”
“If I had my legs, you would always feel safe with me.”
“I do feel safe. It’s just that heights aren’t exactly my thing.”
“I thought you came to Bear Bluff for the mountain?”
“And the bears.” He felt her turn her head and look out at the view. “But this makes it worth the fear. It’s like we’re on top of the world.”
“We are on top of the world. Our world. This is where bears rule.”
She tapped his stomach. “Then let’s go find that bear of yours.”
“I don’t know where, it’s not as if he’s going to be hiding in a cave or anything.”
“I figured he was hibernating, that’s what bears do, right?”
“Real bears. I’m not a real bear.” He thought for a moment; saying he wasn’t a real bear was like saying he wasn’t a real person. “Not in the sense you mean, anyway.”
“Let’s go see if we can find him anyway. I want you to take me to a place where you feel the most connected to him. Is there anywhere you used to come up here that was your favorite place?”
He thought for a moment. The whole mountain was alive with memories of his bear, of running free, but there was one place that was his favorite place of all. All the kids from town used to come up here and play when they were younger, skinny dipping in the pond. But sometimes he would come up here as his bear and swim. Diving deep into the water like a polar bear to catch the big plump fish that swam deep under the water. It was his party trick, one he used to impress the female bears.
Going slowly, he picked his way through the large boulders strewn across this part of the mountain. They used to imagine rock giants had thrown them down from the higher slopes in a fit of rage.
Life was so much simpler then. He wished he could turn back the clock. No, no, he didn’t. He would not wish Skyla out of his life, but he wished he could bring his bear back into it.
Chapter Eleven – Skyla
He took her to a lake, it looked freezing, but this was where he said he felt most connected to his bear, so she would have to work with that.
Flexing her legs to get them working again—they had been clamped so tightly around Jordan, they had frozen in place, she shifted around before lifting her leg behind her and slipping off the ATV to stand beside him.
“This is beautiful,” she said, stamping her feet to rid herself of pins and needles, while still holding on to Jordan in case he fell sideways.
“I love this time of year. The trees are all turned, the colors so vibrant, a sign that the snows will soon be upon us, and I cannot tell you how cool the mountain is when it’s covered in snow.” His cheeks were flushed from the cold air, and he looked so natural sitting astride the ATV, as if he would get off and stand beside her, then take her in his arms and kiss her. “But the spring is my favorite time of year, so fresh and new.”
“Let’s picture you running through the snow. Can you describe your bear to me?” she asked.
“He’s big, and black. Different to the grizzlies around here. My dad comes from another town, another mountain range. They moved back there when I left to join the Army.” Jordan’s voice was strained.
“Is this difficult, being here?”
“Yes. I can’t picture my bear, not exactly see him, but I can recall all the emotions.”
“Then describe that to me,” she said. “What it feels like to you to be a bear.”
“I’ll try.” He closed his eyes, his face screwing up as he recalled things from his past. Slowly, his head tilted to one side, as if he were listening to something. Skyla stood by, letting him take his time; there was no rush, they had the whole day in front of them. “I recall the wet grass beneath my feet, my claws digging into the ground as I walk over the soft earth, the smells of the mountain invading my senses. In the distance, I can hear another bear. It’s not someone I know, so I go on my way.”
“Tell me, Jordan. How does the change, the shift, happen?” If he could sense that, try to grab hold of it, maybe he would be able to change into his bear.
“I let my mind drift, let it go out of focus. I’m still aware of who I am and where I am, but then I sense my bear, picture him in my head. Not just a 2D image, I can almost reach out and touch him. And then I do, and a kind of electricity sparks between us and the world falls away, we are the only two things in existence. Then my bear comes forward…”
“That is amazing, I’d love to see that.”
He looked at her sharply. “It’s
gone. The spark, it’s not there.” Jordan placed his hand on the key to the ATV. “I think we should go.”
“Jordan, are you sure you don’t want to give it a bit of time?” The mountain pool was so calm, so serene and she wanted him to soak it up, to let the past come to him, in the hope he might find his bear. She had imagined they would come up here, and something would click for him. It hadn’t, and Jordan seemed agitated, his gaze shifting from the ATV, to the trees overhanging the pool, and then to her.
She placed her hand on his arm, trying to give him some comfort. “I know what you tried to do,” he said, placing his hand over hers. “But it’s no good, he’s gone.”
“Will you go over it one more time for me?” she asked. “From the moment of the crash. If it’s not too painful.”
“I don’t see the point,” he said, starting the engine.
“OK.” She slipped back onto the ATV, holding on to him tightly once more, scared she’d blown it with him. He needed time. Bringing him up here was meant to put him in touch with his other side, not leave him feeling disappointed.
“I’m sorry,” he said, half turning, and her hands instinctively gripped his body, wanting to hold him, protect him.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” she said. “We do this your way.”
“I’m scared.” His words were forced out, blunt.
“Scared of what?” Her breath seemed frozen in her body.
“I’m scared that my bear is gone for good, like my friends who died. If I don’t look for him, I can believe he’s still there, somewhere out of sight.” His body trembled and she held him closer, if that was possible, her body pressed against his back, while she stroked his chest with her hands.
“That’s natural, Jordan, it really is. I’m not going to rush you. But if we flip it around, you could look at it that if you don’t ever search, you won’t ever find him.”
“I know. Just give me a bit more time.”
“All the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Do you promise?” he asked, his head turned far enough around so she could see the fire in his eyes. The breath left her in a sharp huff, leaving her feeling winded, unable to fill her lungs. He had taken her breath away.
“Jordan, I…” She what? Couldn’t say she would never leave? Or shouldn’t say she would never leave? There was a difference, a whole gulf of difference. “You are my client…”
“Is that all?” he asked.
“You tell me?” It was all she could dare at this moment. She didn’t want to risk everything for him, when he still had not acknowledged their bond, if there even was one. There was a chance that he only looked at her the way he did because he was desperate for something to hold onto, something to bring him back to life.
Coward, she called herself in her head. You know what you are to him, and you are too frightened to say the words. Was it because she needed him to say them first?
“I will. Soon. There’s something I need to do first.” He throttled forward, and she held on tightly to him as they navigated the rough terrain.
The next part of their journey was easier, and slower. The burning drive seemed to have left him and he was happy to take a scenic route, stopping every so often to point out places he knew, places he obviously loved.
“So that ATV was a good idea?” she asked him as they sat on the tip of the Bluff looking down on the town below. The view was amazing; she could see the forests spread out along the lower slopes of the mountain, swathes of browns and oranges as the trees welcomed the changing seasons. They were eating the meager picnic she had prepared. Skyla had decided not to press him anymore about his bear today.
“Yes. The mountain is my home. If I can’t get up here on two legs or four, then I want to be able to come up here on a quad.”
“I’m sure Dylan would let you borrow it any time,” she said, hoping she was right. Dylan had been eager to help today, but he did run a business.
“I was thinking of buying one. I have some money saved up, and it’s not as if I’m going to be spending it on much else.”
“You can lead a full life, even if you can’t walk.”
“I know. But the plans I had, the things I wanted to do, have changed now. My priorities have changed.”
“So we make new plans,” she said.
“We…?” he asked, his eyes warm on hers, making flames kindle and burn inside her.
“We. For as long as you want me around.”
He leaned forward, his hand on her cheek, stroking it softly. “What if I never want you to go?”
“Then I’ll stay forever.”
This time she knew he was going to kiss her, and she was sure as hell not going to let him pull back away again. Career or no career, right or wrong, this was where she was supposed to be, here right now, with Jordan.
Questioning, his lips touched hers, softly, before becoming firmer in each moment, each movement he gave her the chance to back away, to call him a jerk and slap him across the face, but she would never do any of those things. She wanted to tell him how much she wanted this, but this was not time for words. Action was needed.
Skyla slipped her hand around the nape of his neck, stroking his skin with her fingertips. He trembled, a shiver through his body, did he feel it in his toes? She longed to ask him, but her mouth was too busy, her lips pressed against his. When his tongue slid along her lower lip, she opened her mouth for him, allowing him in, just as she wanted him to let her into his life, to his thoughts, so she could help him.
It went deeper than wanting to help. When his hand touched her breast, squeezing it gently, she wanted him to lay her down on the coarse mountain grass and make love to her, to put a child inside her, so they could be a family. They were bound together, and she needed him to be ready to admit that. To her and himself.
He groaned, his mouth urgent, his hands exploring her body. Skyla pulled him closer, offering herself to him; she was his to take. His to claim, mates. Her thoughts flitted briefly to Donnie and his explanation of the bond and the need to make the other person happy. What would it take to bring happiness back into Jordan’s life if he never learned to walk again, and if he didn’t find his bear? Would she be enough to fill that chasm left in his life?
She would try, try to make their lives perfect, she didn’t care about anything other than being with him. Never one for love, not after witnessing her father bringing Skyla up alone when her mom left him for another man, she couldn’t believe they had been brought together for any other reason than they each had what the other one craved.
They completed each other; they simply had to trust in fate.
Chapter Twelve – Jordan
Sweeter than any honey, warmer than any sun, Skyla was the center of his world as they kissed. He wanted to stay like this forever. In her arms, he could forget everything that had happened, everything he no longer was, and be everything she needed him to be.
But moments don’t last. Life moves on. And he had decided he was ready to move on. Even before this kiss, he had made a commitment to himself, and Skyla, to be the best he could be.
With these thoughts in his head, he pulled back, his eyes scanning her flushed face, seeing her lips swollen from their kiss, and he smiled. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“I’m not going to complain about that,” she answered, licking her lips. Did he linger on her lips as she did on his? He could taste her, the unique taste of his mate. And one taste was never going to be enough.
“You know what we are?”
“A couple of people sitting on the side of a mountain?” she asked, her expression hopeful. She wanted to hear it from his lips, and she deserved to hear it.
“You are my mate.” He savored the words. “I should have told you before, when we first met. But I wasn’t ready, didn’t think I had anything to offer you.”
“You have everything I need,” she said, her hand stroking his cheek. “I’ve never sought out relationships, I’ve thrown m
yself into my career. But now, being with you. It seems so right. I can’t explain it.”
“I wasn’t sure if you would feel it the same way I do.” He shook his head. “I always thought it was a shifter thing.”
“It is. At least for me, it wasn’t a smack between the eyes like it’s supposed to be for you. It’s deeper than that. A knowing.” She kissed his lips, a brief touch. “If you sent me away, I’d live, I don’t think I’d ever forget you, or if it would taint any other relationship I had with a man. But I would live.”
“Which is why I thought it was better for you to leave. Yesterday, in the hospital, I wanted to scream at you to get out. I wanted to make you see you were better off without me.” He smiled. “But that was yesterday.”
“And today?” She leaned on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close.
“Today I’d fight anyone who tried to come between us. I might lose, but I’d fight all the same.”
“Jordan, I don’t want you to fight other men for me, but I do want you to fight.”
“My bear?” he asked, a whisper in his head catching him unawares. He stopped speaking, trying to figure out where it had come from and where it had gone.
“Not just your bear. You need to let your guilt go. Move on, be happy, remember your friends, but take the advice you would no doubt offer them, and live for them, love for them.”
“And what if I can’t… love…?”
Her fingers dug into him, he’d shocked her with his words. But then she giggled. “The direct approach. I like it.”
“I’m serious.” He pressed his lips together and shrugged. “What if I can’t make love to you?”
“Then we get creative,” she said, and a hint of red flushed across her cheeks. “Sex talk with a man whom I’ve known barely a day! Bear Bluff has been enlightening.”
“I have been thinking of lots of creative ways to please you.” He grinned and kissed her, taking away her embarrassment and replacing it with something else, something he planned to nurture and make explode, when she was ready. And damn, he hoped she would be ready soon. A stirring in his groin made him pull back.
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