“And how do you handle it? Being the only woman?” Matt asked.
“Amanda works in the office,” Grace said, not seeing how her being a woman had any bearing on this discussion. “Or do you mean the only woman who’s been to prison? The only bad woman.” She kind of twisted that knife, but he didn’t seem to care about her past. Damn, had they already discussed her in great detail? Did Matt know what she’d done?
“The only thing you’re bad at is making coffee,” Jed said. “Speaking of which, we were going to stop off on the way to our job, so if you’ll excuse us.” He shoved her towards the truck, and she got the sense she’d upset him, which she didn’t like. Jed had been good to her.
“Is that all, Dylan?” she asked, feeling stupid and immature; she always ended up sounding childish when she thought she had to defend herself.
“Thanks, Grace,” Dylan said, nodding.
Her eyes flicked to Matt’s, his expression confusing her. Shouldn’t he be the slightest bit annoyed? But instead, he was watching her with the intent expression on his face that made her feel as if he was trying to get inside her head.
“One more thing, Grace, if you don’t mind?” Matt asked.
Here we go, this is where he tries to force his company on me, she thought. Maybe all this was a setup.
“What?” she asked, arms folded across her chest.
“I wanted to explain … about why I mentioned you being a woman,” Matt said. “That’s all.” He held his hands open, as if to show her he wasn’t armed. Instead, he drew her attention to his body, and her hormones went into overdrive. Her bear wanted to pounce on him and make him submit to her bad side.
“There’s no need,” She could sense Jed’s impatience. He’d started the engine and was ready to leave.
“It’s unusual for woman to come to work in places like this. Usually, it’s the domain of men. For other shifters, female shifters, it’s difficult to make the adjustments you have. I’m trying to figure out where my time and money is best invested.” He shrugged. “I just wanted you to know there was no ulterior motive.”
“I get it.” She wanted to say more, she wanted to explain to him how much she appreciated what she’d got here working for Dylan. The words dried up in her mouth. Grace had never learned to share her innermost thoughts, and she could not do it here, in the middle of a construction yard.
Turning on her heel, she got into the truck beside Jed, and keeping her eyes firmly off Matt, they left for their job.
“You didn’t have to try to push his buttons,” Jed said, almost immediately.
“I couldn’t help myself,” she said honestly.
“Why?” Jed asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging.
“My advice is, you need to figure it out. I’m not being flippant. You need to learn how you two are going to fit together, and being all prickly is going to make for an uncomfortable fit,” Jed advised, heading into town.
“Maybe that’s the problem, I don’t want us to fit.” She turned to face Jed. “Look at him, and look at me. Do you have any idea how different we are?”
“I have eyes, of course I can see. I’ve also spent enough time with you to know you aren’t as bad as you think you are.” He pulled over, and opened the truck door to get out. Then he hesitated and shut it again. “When I met Amanda, she was a lot like you. I’m not going to go into her past, but she didn’t want to know about mating bonds and families.”
“Really? Because she’s about the broodiest person I know.”
“Because she changed, she let herself be who she wanted to be.”
“But that’s not what I want to be.”
“Let me repeat what I said: she let herself be who she wanted to be. Not who she thought she wanted to be. I’ve seen you; I’ve watched you. And not in some perverted stalker-like way. I have my mate and I’m happy.”
She fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, wondering if anyone would notice if she bailed out of the truck, shifted into her bear, and ran off up the street. In her head, her bear dug her claws into the ground. They were not running anywhere until they had heard what Jed had to say.
“I’m used to being around people. In my house, especially growing up, you had to be in tune with each other, we lived on top of each other. So, I read you better than most people ever will.” He opened the door to get out. His parting words were, “Your secret is safe with me.”
He slipped to the ground. Grace needed to know what he thought her secret was. “What does that mean?”
“That you are soft inside, but you’re hurt, bleeding, like a wounded animal. Matt is the person who will lick your wound clean and help you heal. But you have to let him in.”
Jed slammed the door, and walked off to the coffee shop, leaving Grace dumbstruck, with no smart retort to offer. Her shields were down, and she felt naked, unable to protect herself. That feeling scared the hell out of her, but it also made her feel alive, a part of the world, which she’d shunned since she was seven years old.
The question she had to ask herself was whether this was who she wanted to be. Right now, she didn’t know.
Chapter Six – Matt
Matt wasn’t sure if today had been a success or not. Sure, he’d moved his plans forward with Dylan, but that was business, and he was more interested in his personal life right now. Grace, however, had other ideas, and he was unsure how to move things forward in that department without the risk of alienating her.
She’d made it quite clear she planned to fight the bond between them, and he couldn’t see any way to change her mind. Forcing her wasn’t something he could envisage, not without the prospect of regretting it for the rest of his life.
He’d come back to the hotel and showered. With a towel draped around his hips, he was figuring out whether to eat in his room and watch TV, or head downstairs into the dining room. Whichever he chose, he’d be eating alone, something that never bothered him until yesterday. He’d figured once he met his mate, his lonely days would be over. After meeting Grace, they stretched out in front of him, endless and barren. She was his only chance at happiness, his only chance of family, and she didn’t want that dream. Not one ounce of it.
Deciding dinner in his room was the best idea, he picked up the phone and dialed room service. In a hotel this small, that meant calling reception and asking for today’s menu. It wasn’t exactly varied, and he settled for a steak, and a couple of bottles of beer, which would take the edge off his mood.
While he waited for his food, he took out a pair of clean worn jeans and an old T-shirt, which was what he preferred wearing. Suits were for business meetings only.
Matt was about to sling the towel onto the bed, when the now familiar sensation hit him. His mate was close. Swallowing down his panic, he lunged at the door and yanked it open, scared she would run off before he got a chance to see her. But she was there, hand raised, ready to knock.
“Hi,” he said, his voice high, and uncool. Matt was not the kind of man to lose his cool; he had been grilled by men far more important and far richer than himself in boardrooms all over the world. During intense business negotiations, he always knew the answers, was always one step ahead.
Yet Grace knocked him off kilter, and did something to him. Something that stirred his loins, which were barely covered by the towel. “Come in.”
He reached out and pulled her inside. His fingers, where they came into contact with her skin, tingled, producing a pins and needles sensation that fanned outwards and traveled up his arms. When his cock became more erect, the towel threatened to part and expose him to her.
“I’ll get dressed,” he said.
“You don’t have to on my account,” she answered, the first words she’d said to him that offered him any hope she might be a willing participant in their bond.
“I have food ordered. I’m not sure I want to open the hotel room door like this,” he said, with a sideways smirk. “I have a reputation, and exposing myself in publi
c will not enhance it.”
“From where I stand, there is no enhancement needed.” She let her eyes drop to his cock, and he grew harder, painfully hard.
He laughed, letting the towel drop to the floor, and reached for his clothes. “You’re good. You know, I thought you came here to be nice, and instead I realize you came here to torture me.” He pulled his jeans on, and did them up, carefully.
As he glanced up at her, he noted her expression. A frown creased her face. “That’s not why I came.”
He liked her honesty; it was raw. “You can’t help it. Being defensive. I get that.”
“Do you?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes. We all have ways of coping, and yours is to put up this barrier that’s so wide and so thick that no one can break through it. I’ve seen it before. In business, it’s often the best way to get a deal done. You would also make one amazing poker player.”
She sighed. “It’s like an automatic response.”
Matt pulled his T-shirt over his head, and then closed the space between them, resting his hand on her arm. “It’s a good defense. And I hope I can prove to you that you don’t need it. Not around me.”
“I’m not sure that’s going to happen,” she said.
“I do. I believe it, but then I also believe in rainbows and unicorns.” He winked. “But don’t tell anyone, it would destroy my street cred.
“Do you joke about everything?” she asked.
“No. Not everything. But I’ve also learned not to take life too seriously.” Matt watched her face, not caring if he was staring. “Listen, I made my money when I was young. Too young. I worked hard for it, I hustled, I brokered deals unimaginable for a man my age. Then one day I woke up and realized I was buying into my own hype. That’s the day I knew I had to find something outside of myself to ground me. I was obsessed with money, finding the next deal, pushing the next boundary.”
“I can’t even begin to relate to that,” she said, the frown deepening. “That’s what scares me.”
“About us?” he asked, gently.
“Yes.” He felt the tremor pass through her body. “We’re like the most opposite two people could ever be.”
“Are we?” he asked. “I don’t think so. We both put on personas.”
“I don’t put on a persona,” she insisted.
“Yes, you do. You want the world to think you’re this bad-ass woman, so that they won’t see that deep inside you want to be soft and vulnerable. You want to free yourself from the woman everyone thinks you are. You’ve bought into your own hype too.”
“I have not.” She stepped back from him, putting her hand up. “And I do not want to be soft, and I am already free.”
“No, you’re not, you’re a prisoner to who you think you are.”
“So this is how you win at business, with your own personal brand of psychobabble?”
“No, I keep the psychobabble to myself. You should be honored I’m sharing it with you.”
“You can keep it to yourself,” she said, eying up the door.
“OK. Deal. I only wanted to try to help you.” He didn’t want to make her bolt out of the door.
“I don’t need help.”
“Then why don’t we start again, and you can tell me why you are here.”
“Why I’m here?” she asked, looking around as if she’d forgotten why she was standing in his hotel room.
“Yes. You came to see me, which is unexpected. I thought you were avoiding me.”
“I was, but something Jed said made me reconsider.” She dropped her arms, trying to open up to him, but she still looked stiff and awkward. “I thought we should at least spend some time together.”
“OK.” He glanced at the door. “I ordered room service, but I can always tell them to take it back, then we could go for dinner.”
“No,” she said sharply. “I don’t want to sit at a table with you trying to make small talk.”
“Then what do you want?” he asked, bemused. “Should I take my clothes back off? Sex on a first date isn’t really my thing, but if you think it would work as an icebreaker…”
“No!” she said, horrified. “No sex. I’ve seen enough of you for one day.”
“Have you? Because you were staring.”
She shook her head and turned away; he guessed she was trying to get the naked image of him out of her head. It was gratifying she was looking a little warm, verging on hot.
With her hands on her flaming cheeks, she turned back to him. “Look, do you want to come for a run on the mountain or not?”
His mind was still stuck on sex, but in his head, his bear stood up on his back legs, waving his front paws in the air. Matt was outvoted on the idea of sex. “A run on the mountain with you would be wonderful,” he conceded.
There was a knock on the door, and Grace jumped at the sound.
“My dinner has arrived. Do you mind if I eat first?”
“Of course. I’d rather you kept your strength up so you don’t get left behind,” she said, her voice slipping back into defensive.
“Is that a challenge?” he asked, opening the door and letting the server in.
“It might be,” Grace said, after he’d tipped the server and she left.
“Good. I’ve always risen to a good challenge.” He was heartened to hear her snicker as he wolfed down his dinner.
Chapter Seven – Grace
“You’ll get indigestion,” Grace warned. She’d never seen anyone eat so fast. It amused her that a man like Matt wasn’t so sophisticated, not when it came to the chance of running over the mountain with his mate. She took a swig of the beer he’d given her, and watched him with some amusement.
“I’m fine. Cast-iron stomach.” He stifled a burp, and took a gulp of his beer. “So where are you taking me?”
“That’s a surprise,” Grace said.
“Does that mean you don’t know?” he asked.
“No. It means it’s a surprise.” Grace walked to the window and looked out. As she hoped, the moon had risen high in the sky over the Bluff; it meant she’d see the tracks clearly. Having only been in Bear Bluff for a couple of months, she wasn’t as confident as she’d made out about taking him over the mountain, especially in the dark. But with the moon up high, she’d be able to take him across the lower slopes to one of her favorite places.
Without making a fool of herself.
Turning back to see Matt finishing the last of his meal, she mulled over that thought. Grace didn’t have the same extra senses as the other bears she’d encountered. They talked about having a sixth sense, while she struggled with the five normal ones she possessed. As often as possible, she would venture out onto the mountain, honing her skills. Slowly she was getting better at tracking; she had at least learned to tell a rabbit from a wolf since she’d moved here.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, drinking his beer and coming to join her.
“Only that Dylan’s been telling us all that hunting of rabbits is banned on the west side of the mountain, because Zoe’s a rabbit shifter. But you knew that, right?” Grace said. “About Zoe being a rabbit?”
“No, she never went into specifics. Wow, just when you think you know someone.” He grinned. “That would be very awkward, eating a friend.”
“Yes, so they’ve made the western slope into a safety zone. Although most of us think it’s better not to chase rabbits at all. Not now, it doesn’t seem right,” Grace said.
“A lady with a conscience,” Matt said.
“Only because… Whatever, are you ready to go?” she asked.
“I am. The night awaits.” He grabbed his keys and jacket and they left his room, a sense of reluctance emanating from her bear, who’d been eyeing the bed up with some anticipation. Not tonight, Grace told her.
They hit the street, a thrill of excitement coursing through her. Grace had spent most of her time as a bear alone. Only occasionally had she met up with other bears, sometimes Jed and Dylan, other times random b
ears she encountered. Those bears made her nervous, her lack of experience around others of her kind making her fear she’d instigate a fight, without even knowing how.
Tonight was different. She was in the presence of her mate.
“Are we going to drive to the mountains?” he asked.
“No, we can cut across the footpath on the edge of town and head across the fields. It takes us close to Jed’s parents’ house.” She looked across at him. “Unless you’d rather drive higher up into the mountain? I don’t have a car, so I’ve had to find the shortest route on foot.”
“A resourceful woman, I like that,” he said, following her as she made her way, sure-footed, through the streets of Bear Bluff.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said.
“Do what?” he asked.
“Flatter me.”
“I wasn’t flattering you, I was complimenting you.”
“There’s a difference?” she asked.
“To me.” He was silent and then said, “Flattery would be me trying to get you into my bed. Compliments are me being honest.”
She laughed. “That is your philosophy around women?”
“Now I’m embarrassed.” He chuckled. “A man has needs. So, there have been times when I’ve used flattery to get a woman to sleep with me. I guess I look at it this way—I’m honest, I only tell her the truth, except I already know we have no future together, because she’s not my mate.”
She thought about what he’d said. It made sense, like almost everything that came out of his mouth. “If you put it like that…”
“I do. But now I have you in my life, I will never have to use flattery again.” He moved closer to her, and his hand slipped around hers. Warm, safe, inviting, his touch electrified her body.
“I’m no good for you, Matt.”
“OK, you have to stop thinking of this as a life choice for me. You are my mate. You are ingrained on my soul, and no matter how much you try to convince me that out of all the bonded mates in the history of shifters, fate has made a mistake, I am not buying it.”
“I told you that happened to my parents,” she said.
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