James blinked several times. That was a bad thing?
“Shit,” he muttered. This was fucking Thomas. James went for honest. “You should be happy, you know. I would love for her to say that to me.”
“Don’t,” Thomas snarled. He glanced guiltily towards Abigail’s room. They had stopped calling it a guest room weeks before. It was her room now. “Don’t, James. She was drunk and probably didn’t mean them. She went quiet afterwards. If I pretend they didn’t happen, then she might feel better in the morning.”
“Good God,” he snorted. “Thomas, if you believe that, then let me tell you how kind and wonderful your brother is. He’s totally not up to something and he loves you.”
“Fuck you,” Thomas snarled louder. “I get it, all right? He’s a dick and his friends are probably bad news. He’s also still my fucking brother and he deserves my time, even when I don’t want to give it to him.”
“You would waste your time with Chris, but avoid Abigail’s feelings,” James spat. “Your feelings. You like her just as much as me.”
“She said love,” Thomas reminded him.
“And who says I don’t love her?” James growled. “I’ve been in love with her, waiting on you and Antonio to catch the fuck up, for her to be ready to hear it. And now…well, I hope she meant she loves all of us, because I’ll be fucking upset if she loves only you, the guy who is scared of being with her, and not me.”
“Stop fucking yelling,” Antonio grumbled, walking out. “She’s asleep, right?”
“Sorry.” James hadn’t realized he’d gotten loud. “Antonio…”
“She loves us,” Antonio said quickly. “Don’t be stupid. I’m fine with it. I like it. I might not be ready to say it back, but I’m totally fine with this getting serious. More serious.”
“We haven’t been with her that long,” their Alpha pointed out. “December? Early January? It’s April. Four months? That’s not long enough to know how people feel.”
“Ignoring she said it isn’t the right answer either though,” James snapped. “And you better not tell me how I do or don’t feel.”
“I had a whirlwind romance before,” Thomas growled back, looking pained. “It changes, the love and wedding bands. And she travels.”
“If you even think to say that Abigail isn’t faithful, I will fucking kill you,” James snarled, baring his teeth. The idea of it made him want to rip Thomas’ goddamn throat out.
“I think you’re both overreacting,” Antonio mumbled. “She’s about to be gone for a couple days. Use that time to figure your heads out.”
“My head is figured out,” James grunted. “So is my heart.” He’d never been so absolutely sure of something. He’d known during their date; he’d known when he asked for it. To him, loving Abigail was the easiest thing he’d ever done, ever felt. She set his soul at ease with her swaying, windswept way of moving, the way she so easily talked to him and wanted to know and understand and cared for him. She genuinely cared, not out of some obligation like his sisters and family, but just because she could.
“Good for you.” Antonio chuckled, shrugging. “And I’m willing to follow her until the ends of the world and I’m not sure what that means for me yet. And Thomas has reasons for being scared of this.”
“I’m not scared,” Thomas muttered. “I’m pointing out that maybe the idea of love right now might be too fast.”
“Yes, you are,” he laughed. “You’re terrified. You said when this started that you weren’t in on the emotional side and you are. You care for her, Thomas, and that scares you. Let’s add Chris on top of things, and you’re feeling more than you really want to.”
“I have no problem with feelings or emotions,” their Alpha growled. “She said it. I decided it might be best to leave it until she was sober. Maybe it was a slip. Maybe she’ll want to talk about it.”
“It freaked you out,” Antonio teased. “Admit it.”
“It did,” he sighed, looking away from them. James watched him put his hands on the counter and lean over. “I’m supposed to drive her tomorrow.”
“I can,” James offered. He didn’t like that Thomas was avoiding it, but he wasn’t going to force him and Abigail on a two hour drive tomorrow if the wolf wasn’t comfortable. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I should,” Thomas groaned. “I can’t avoid her. I don’t want to avoid her.”
“You need time to think,” Antonio chuckled, thumping Thomas on the back. “It’s fine.”
“There’s just so much up in the air,” Thomas reminded them. “Her job, Chris being here…She’s moving in.”
“Yeah, you told us about that.” He crossed his arms and leaned on the wall. “You’re going to look at secondary places for her. Remember that?”
“Yeah, I do. I should have a list by the time she gets back, and I can take her to look at options. That should give me time to think and then a chance for me to talk to her. God, I’m an ass.”
“Why?” James grunted. He knew Thomas evaded hard feelings like this, preferring everyone as friends and nothing closer, but not an ass.
“I avoided her saying it by pretending to stumble and telling her it was time to head home,” Thomas mumbled, putting his face in his hands.
“Yeah,” Antonio breathed out. “You are an ass. Buy her flowers.”
“I’m definitely taking her tomorrow,” James groaned, shaking his head. “Damn it, Thomas, you better not have ruined this for all of us.”
“If it comes to that, I’ll leave before I…ruin what you both have with her,” Thomas promised softly. “I’m sorry. I…I wish she had told one of you. Either of you would have handled it better than me.”
“You’re right,” Antonio replied blandly. James watched a smile take over Antonio’s face. “Actually, this might be good for you.”
“How?” he asked.
“You can now make it up to her.” Antonio laughed. “I’m going to bed. Those guys? Just staying in a hotel a few towns away. Nothing important. I have no idea what’s going on, if anything is.” With that, Antonio walked back out, stretching his arms as he went, leaving James and Thomas alone together.
James looked at his Alpha, feeling a bit of guilt. Thomas looked like he’d just ruined everything, and James didn’t think that was the case.
“I shouldn’t have said what I did earlier at the bar,” James sighed.
“You were right,” he replied simply. “I’m too close to the Chris thing to treat it right.”
“I don’t think he’s a danger or his friends, but I would like you just to run him straight back out of town like an Alpha should with another who won’t be a real ally.” He shook his head slowly. “We’ll figure it all out. We always do.”
“I don’t want him screwing anything up for us, but at the same time…” Thomas took a deep breath. “I have a chance, again, to have my brother. He came to me, ya know?”
“While you went to him last time,” James finished.
“Yeah. I left the Marines and went to him, to help him, to rebuild our family. I was fine with it all falling apart thanks to the hunting compound, but now he’s here. He came to me and I feel the need to try.”
“I’ll stop giving you a hard time over it.” James thought about his sisters. He knew they would always be there for him if he really needed it. He knew Thomas didn’t have that in his brother, but that just meant James should let Thomas try to get it. Or learn that Chris just might fail him again. There were some things James couldn’t interfere with. “He might hurt you.”
“He does every time he opens his mouth,” Thomas growled. “But maybe he’ll stop.”
James knew the other wolf wouldn’t, because James had some idea as to why Chris was the way he was, especially towards Thomas. Antonio had told him the story years ago.
“I’m heading to bed,” James said suddenly, tired of the conversation. He was going to curl up next to Abigail if she let him. “Need to get some rest before the drive to the airport.”
>
“All right,” Thomas sighed. “Good night.”
“Good night,” James mumbled, leaving the room. He slipped into her room and was thankful that she was out like a light. He leaned down and shook her gently, watching her eyes open. “Can I cuddle?”
“Always,” she mumbled, not really awake. He chuckled softly and stripped before sliding in next to her. He curled around her and held her, his face in her hair, blissful.
He knew with everything in him that he loved her.
James finished loading up her bags while she walked out. The morning had been a little awkward and tense, as she avoided Thomas and dodged questions. She didn’t even want to have morning sex.
“Did you tell everyone goodbye?” he asked as she dropped her purse in the passenger’s seat of his truck. She sighed and shook her head, causing him to frown. “You’re going to be gone for a couple days, Abigail.”
“I know,” she replied, nodding. “I’ll go.”
He decided to follow her inside. He didn’t like this evasive, distant Abigail very much. It felt too much like when they first met her, but sadder.
“I’ll see you again soon,” she whispered to Antonio, kissing his cheek. James smiled as Antonio grabbed her before she could get away.
“I would love something better than that,” he crooned. James crossed his arms to watch as Antonio pulled her against him in the kitchen and kissed her slowly. James could describe it as a slow meal, a long taste.
Antonio didn’t release her until a moan left her. James saw her sway as she was allowed to move away from Antonio, who was grinning, pleased with himself.
“Where’s mine?” Thomas asked softly, leaning on the wall near the hallway that led out of the living room. They all watched her move silently to Thomas, and James knew what everyone was thinking about.
Would last night change anything for them? James looked to Thomas, who kept his ice-blue eyes trained on her. There was an intensity there that James thought could scare Abigail, but she made it to him.
Without any words, Thomas ran his hand over her cheek and around the back of her head. It was almost too intimate for James to watch, so he turned to Antonio, who couldn’t take his own eyes off the scene.
“I’ll miss you,” Thomas whispered.
“I’ll be coming back,” Abigail reminded him.
“You’re still leaving,” he retorted. James glanced back over and saw Thomas holding Abigail against him. The kiss between them was even slower. James waited, happy to see that Thomas wasn’t going to let things get awkward, even after he royally fucked up his response the night before.
“Have a good trip,” Thomas finished, letting her go. James waved at them all as Abigail walked back to him, a pink blush over her face. “Drive safely.”
“I’ll get her there,” he chuckled. “See you guys later.”
They loaded up quietly. It was a two to three hour drive to Denver and the airport, so he was going to be locked in with her for a long time. As they got on the road, he wondered if he should bring up the night before, bring up what she said to Thomas, that the guys had talked about it.
He decided to hold off as she turned on the radio and closed her eyes. It was early, only five in the morning, and he didn’t blame her for wanting to keep sleeping off the night before on the drive. He saw her breathing even out and knew she was completely out.
The drive was long for James. When they entered Denver, he reached out and nudged her thigh gently to prod her awake.
“We’re in the city,” he murmured.
“Oh, good,” she mumbled, nodding. “I hate flying, you know.”
“It’ll be okay,” James chuckled.
“I love to travel, but planes are stuffy and tend to run cold,” she continued. “I just really don’t like them. This won’t be a long flight, but still, I’m not looking forward to it. It’s just to DC, though, so it shouldn’t be so bad.”
“Abigail,” he tried to cut in. She had begun to ramble.
“I’m so nervous. I shouldn’t be,” she groaned. “I hope I can sleep more on the plane. My anxiety levels are through the roof.”
He left the freeway at the airport’s exit and poked her thigh to get her attention. “Abigail.”
“Yeah?”
“Stop. You’ll stress yourself out even more by overthinking this and worrying over nothing,” he growled softly. “I don’t like seeing you so stressed out.”
“Okay,” Abigail said with a deep breath. He noticed she held it for a long time before releasing it and then did it again.
“Breathing exercises?” he asked softly.
“Yeah,” Abigail answered, nodding. “This really shouldn’t be bothering me so much, but the breathing exercise helps. Let’s hope this all goes smoothly.”
He parked them and helped her with her bags. They picked up her tickets and he escorted her all the way to the security checkpoint.
“This is where I leave you,” she told him, putting her purse and carry-on down for a moment.
“Am I going to get a goodbye?” He wanted one and proved that to her, taking her waist and pulling her against him gently.
“Of course,” she whispered, looking up at him.
He leaned down and claimed her lips, tasting a fruity lip gloss she had put on. Now he knew why the other guys had been trying to eat her. It was sweet and light, like she was. He wanted to guess it was a cherry flavor. He growled softly, holding her tighter to deepen the kiss.
Her hands pressing against his chest told him it was time to stop. He pulled back and decided that he was tired of waiting on Thomas and Antonio. She was about to leave, about to go across the country, and he didn’t want her to leave without knowing how he felt. He didn’t want her leaving thinking Thomas’ reaction would be his.
“Abigail, Thomas told me what you said last night,” he told her, running a hand through her hair and tucking some behind her ear.
“Oh God,” Abigail groaned, her face getting red. “James-”
“I love you,” he cut her off. “I’m sorry Thomas didn’t know how to respond last night. I know this is the worst time and place for me to say it, but you’re about to leave and I don’t want it to be on the back of thinking none of us love you. I do.”
“I…” She looked stunned, and he could smell the hot, salty tears in her eyes.
“Abigail, you don’t need to say anything.” He ran a thumb over her cheek.
“I need to say this.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, too,” she replied. “I meant it to Thomas last night, and I’m scared that my feelings are going to ruin whatever this is. I would mean it to Antonio if I thought he wanted to hear it. And I’m scared of how fast this is going. James, we haven’t been together that long, but I know I love you, and Thomas, and Antonio. What if it isn’t love? What if I’m moving too fast? What if my feelings chase you guys away? I’m feeling so damn scared of everything right now.”
“Don’t be,” James growled. He should have realized what happened with Thomas at the bar was adding to her anxiety about this job interview and flight. He should have guessed it was the root of the problem. “Don’t ever be afraid of your heart, Abigail. My silly little weird hippie. I love you, you love all of us, and those two will figure out how they feel.”
“And if they don’t?” she asked, looking terrified.
“Then we’ll figure it out,” he told her confidently. “We’ll figure it out. For now, just go on this trip and know, love or no love, the Pack will always want you to come back and be successful in whatever you do…and that I do love you.”
“What if…” She didn’t finish what she was saying so James guessed.
“What if we don’t want you to come back? Or what if I stopped loving you?” He chuckled. “I promise, that will never happen. I think your anxiety is talking.”
“I know it is,” she mumbled. “It’s got my mind going a thousand miles an hour, trying to find every way something can go wrong. It hasn’t been this bad in
years, and I think it’s just the multiple things going on. This trip, my feelings…your feelings. Thomas and Chris. Finn and my need to help him. It’s just a lot.”
“It is, and one of those things will be off your plate. Abigail, never worry about how I feel. I’ll always love you,” he promised. “Don’t worry about your feelings while on this trip, either. Just think about your career and how happy this will make you.”
“Riley told me the opposite.” She giggled, seeming to relax for him. “Worry about you guys and the rest of this is just…things. I can do without things, but you guys should come first.”
“I like Riley,” he decided, nodding at that. “Seriously, though, little doe, enjoy this trip. I’ll knock Thomas around for making you sad. Don’t pull away now though. This is the moment when you need to be weaseling your way into every aspect of my life, not running for the door.”
“I’m not running,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. “But I do need to get in line.”
“Yeah,” he groaned, looking at the growing security line. “I’ll watch until you get through.”
“You don’t have to,” she replied, smiling at him.
“Yeah, I do.” James chuckled. He kissed her one more time before letting her get through security. He watched for nearly forty-five minutes, until he saw her get through the metal detectors, and then she was gone.
He missed her more than anything already.
15
Abigail
Abigail rented a car in DC for the trip and picked up her keys for it before getting her suitcases from baggage claim. She made it to the hotel without incident and immediately showered and changed. She had a late day meeting, which was why she took such an early flight.
She was consumed by what James had said.
He loved her.
It made her heart beat wildly every time she replayed the scene in her head, made her nervous and excited. She loved him too. She loved all of them, and James made it sound like it would all work out, as if he knew things she didn’t.
She would listen to him, though. She would focus on this trip and talk to her wolves when she got home. Things were in such flux. Abigail couldn’t do anything about her feelings and their relationship while in DC; she needed to focus on DC so she didn’t ruin it by being distracted.
Heart of the Pack Page 15