by Kylie Chan
That is so disgusting, Jade said. Mammals! The Dark Lord must be horrified.
Isn’t the baby being bottle-fed? Gold said. Isn’t that better, to make sure that it will grow up strong and healthy?
Leo says that it’s healthier for the baby to get its mother’s milk, something about fighting disease, Jade said. It’s still disgusting — like she’s a farm animal!
Xuan Wu watched as Michelle placed the child on her breast. The child nuzzled into her, then gripped tightly, making Michelle jump. It began to suck noisily and Michelle gasped.
‘Are you all right?’ Xuan Wu said, studying Michelle.
‘I’m sore, and I’m tired, and every time she does this my stomach hurts. But they say I will be just fine.’
Xuan Wu stroked her hair. ‘You have given me a greater gift than anyone ever has. I love you so much, Michelle.’
‘Our gift needs a name,’ Michelle said.
Xuan Wu shook his head. ‘English name, I have no idea. Chinese name, we must consult an astrologer and choose a name that will offset any bad luck traits she has because of her birth date.’
‘That is ridiculous, Lo Wu.’
‘How about I choose a Chinese name, and you choose an English one?’
Michelle gazed down at the content baby, who was thumping her tiny fist on Michelle’s breast as she suckled. ‘I would like to call her Simone, after my grandmother. She cared for me when my mother could not.’ She glanced up at Xuan Wu. ‘My family must come and see her!’
Xuan Wu stiffened.
‘They must!’
Xuan Wu obviously relented. ‘Of course. They are family, they must see their newest addition.’ He touched the baby’s hand and the child stopped hitting her mother and clutched her father’s finger.
Xuan Wu sat behind his desk, grim. Jade and Gold nervously sat across from him in the visitors’ chairs.
‘I must return,’ Xuan Wu said. ‘I hardly had time to enter a trance state to begin rebuilding my energy. If I do not return soon, I may lose the form, when they need me the most.’
Gold dropped his head with misery. ‘I am needed on the Mountain too. The Masters are currently working full-time assessing the students and setting their study focuses, they need me to process the latest batch of students.’
Jade shook her head. ‘I do not trust myself and Leo to guard both Michelle and Simone. They are so vulnerable right now!’
‘I know. The Generals are occupied administering the Northern Heavens. I have asked the other Winds, they are also unavailable. Any suggestions?’
‘Er Lang?’ Gold said.
Xuan Wu grimaced. ‘He’s filling a great deal of my role as First Heavenly General, I could not ask him to take this on as well. He feels the same way that the Celestial does about my marriage to Michelle.’
‘Sun Wu Kwong?’ Jade said.
‘You have to be joking,’ Gold said.
‘I would trust the Monkey King to guard my child about as much as I trust the Demon King himself,’ Xuan Wu said. He sighed. ‘I will wait until Simone is old enough, then I will take both of them.’
‘How old must a human child be to travel to the Celestial plane, sir?’ Gold said.
‘About six weeks.’
‘Oh!’ Jade said. ‘The one-month party! You will need to start sending out invitations, and arrange a banquet hall here on the Earthly for it. This will be one of the biggest things to happen on the Celestial Plane in a very long time, just about every Celestial will want to attend.’
Xuan Wu smiled grimly. ‘Thank you for reminding me, Jade. The job is yours.’
Jade moaned quietly, and Gold made some barely suppressed sounds of amusement.
‘You, Gold, are in charge of arranging her family’s visit,’ Xuan Wu said.
Gold sagged.
‘But Maman,’ Michelle said, exasperated, ‘why not just you? You must see your new little granddaughter, she is…’ she hesitated, searching for the words. ‘She is so beautiful! And she does not have Chinese hair at all, it is nearly blonde, like mine, and her skin is so perfect…’ She sighed. ‘Very well.’ She brightened. ‘Daniel? Daniel is coming?’ She clapped her hands, still holding the telephone receiver, then returned it to her ear. ‘That is good news. Yes, yes! Of course I will have him take photos of her! And of my house here, and my silly husband, I will have him take them all back for you! And tell Papa…’ She hesitated again. ‘Tell Papa that I love him very much, Maman, and that I hope he will be here soon.’
Michelle held the telephone at arm’s length and glared at it, then pushed the button to disconnect. ‘Gold.’ She turned and saw that Gold was already in the living room. ‘Gold, my father cannot come, he has something wrong with his ears and cannot fly. They will operate soon, and they tell me he will be fine.’ She brightened. ‘But my brother, Daniel, is coming. He will arrive next Thursday. Lo Wu says you are to arrange this?’
Gold bowed slightly. ‘Yes, ma’am. Would you prefer he stays here in the end bedroom, or would you like to put him in a hotel?’
Michelle hesitated for a moment, then said, ‘In the end bedroom, next to Lo Wu’s training room. He need not know about Lo Wu’s ridiculous nature; it is not that unusual for him to be a koofoo master, and Daniel should not suspect.’
Gold smiled at Michelle’s deliberate mispronunciation of ‘kung fu’, which she often used to annoy Xuan Wu.
‘You do not plan to tell your brother about the Dark Lord’s true nature?’ Gold said.
‘No!’ Michelle vehemently shook her head. ‘I do not want my family to be concerned. While my brother is here, I wish you all to be as normal as possible.’ Simone began to cry in the master bedroom, and Michelle lit up. ‘She is awake. How can her little tears bring me so much joy?’
Jade and Gold sat quietly during the divination. The geomancer who was preparing the chart for little Simone had spent a great deal of time calculating the correct star confluences and Simone’s future path.
The geomancer looked up from his charts, grim. ‘There is much anguish in her future, my Lord. She will suffer greatly because of who she is.’
‘I wish to minimise that suffering,’ Xuan Wu said.
‘You are the cause of it.’
Xuan Wu rubbed his hands over his face. ‘I know.’
‘How much of her future can you see, my Lord?’
Xuan Wu shook his head. ‘With her, I have a blind spot. With the women I love, I cannot see. The paths are murky, the future twists. A number of futures are visible, all equally likely. Some are full of joy, some are full of grief. And all of them become imperceptible, when they approach these two.’
The geomancer nodded slightly. ‘This is a good thing. Heaven protects you.’ He glanced at Jade and Gold. ‘You two are too small to see anything?’
Jade and Gold nodded.
‘Very well.’ The geomancer rose and rolled up the charts. ‘Her name is to be “Si Min”.’ He drew the characters in the air, leaving a golden trail with his finger. ‘Si, for remembrance, thought, meditation. Min, for speed. She must never forget who she is, even in the heat of battle. She will be immensely powerful, and must always remember to control this power. She must think quickly when in conflict, and have the intelligence to decide the right path, or those around her will suffer.’
Xuan Wu gazed up at the geomancer. ‘Nothing to protect her from her future of pain?’
The geomancer flipped the hem of his robe. ‘It is more important that those around her be protected. For her, there will be suffering, and that will temper her spirit and give her wisdom. It is for the best.’
‘Will she lose me?’
The geomancer looked down. ‘You are Immortal, my Lord. She can never lose you, because you cannot die.’
‘That is not what I asked.’
‘I will register her name with the Hall of Records,’ the geomancer said. ‘Make sure the fung shui in her room leans towards the Yang; because you are her father, she is more likely to be Yin and therefore c
old-blooded.’
‘Will she lose me?’ Xuan Wu said.
The geomancer disappeared, but his voice remained. ‘She will lose one, then gain one, then lose three, then gain five.’
‘Which one will she lose?’ Jade whispered.
‘I hope it is either you or me,’ Gold replied.
‘Do you love her, like family?’ Xuan Wu said.
Jade and Gold shared a look.
‘Then it will probably be me. Heaven knows who the two are. In the end, however, she will have more who love her than she loses. Is Michelle awake?’
Gold concentrated. ‘Yes, sir.’
‘You cannot see her?’ Jade said.
‘I need to travel to the Mountain. As soon as Simone is six weeks old, I will take both of them, and spend ten days there. How are the preparations for the banquet?’
‘The Tiger has offered the use of the ballroom in his hotel in Sha Tin. His staff are demons; your guests will be able to take True Form,’ Jade said with obvious satisfaction.
‘And Michelle will have a heart attack,’ Gold said. ‘You know how she hates it when they take True Form.’
Jade opened her mouth and closed it again. ‘I forgot.’
‘Michelle’s family?’ Xuan Wu said.
‘Her father has a tumour in his inner ear that does not allow him to change pressure; he cannot fly at the moment,’ Gold said. ‘Her mother will stay with her father while he has surgery to remove the tumour, and they check whether it is cancer.’
‘If it is cancer, your Serpent can cure it,’ Jade said, pleased. ‘They would certainly appreciate that!’
‘If I had my Serpent,’ Xuan Wu said.
Jade, Gold said, wherever you left your brain today, could you please go fetch it?
I know! Jade wailed.
After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Gold spoke. ‘Lady Michelle’s brother, Daniel, will arrive next week and take some photos to give to her parents. He will stay in the room closest to the training room.’
‘She wants him to stay here?’
‘He’s family, my Lord.’
Xuan Wu made a soft sound of exasperation. ‘I’m just glad her parents are not coming as well.’
‘They will, eventually, my Lord.’
Xuan Wu waved one hand over his desk. ‘Dismissed. Go tell Michelle the baby’s name. That should please her, to have such a clever name for her child.’
‘Si Min?’ Michelle cried, horrified.
‘Si Mun in Cantonese,’ Jade said.
‘It’s a good name,’ Gold said. “‘Smart Girl”, your daughter will be very clever with a name like that.’
‘And it sounds like Simone!’ Jade finished for him triumphantly.
‘It sounds like semen!’ Michelle wailed. ‘Where is Lo Wu, we must change this immediately!’
Jade gasped. ‘Oh, no!’
‘Um…’ Gold hesitated. ‘Ma’am, the name has already been registered on the Celestial Record. It cannot be changed. And it was chosen by the Jade Emperor’s own magician, it is the name that she should have.’
‘Ugh.’ Michelle turned away from them. ‘Get out of my sight.’
Jade and Gold teleported out as quickly as they could. They did not want to see the fireworks when Michelle nailed Xuan Wu down.
FREEDOM AND THEFT
1820–Part I
Gold floated closer to the table, then dropped six inches in the air. ‘This humble stone is present. My Lords. My Ladies.’
‘How long have you served me, Golden Boy?’ the Tiger said, his voice low and gruff.
Gold counted, then felt a wild rush of hope. ‘Exactly one hundred years, my Lord.’
‘Do you wish to be released?’
Gold tried to keep the enthusiasm from his voice. ‘I do, my Lord.’
‘What have you learnt from your hundred years of serving me?’ the Tiger said, his golden eyes blazing.
Gold nearly said, ‘how to carry towels’, but swallowed it. ‘I have learnt to think twice before meddling in the affairs of others, my Lord,’ he said. ‘In pursuing my selfish interests I harmed both William,’ he bobbed in the air, ‘and the Princess Jade.’
‘My honour is satisfied,’ the Tiger said. ‘He has served me well. I have no objection to his release. Princess?’ He nodded to Jade.
Jade glared at Gold, her green eyes flashing. ‘I agree to his release on one condition.’
‘Anything you wish, my Lady,’ Gold said.
‘Stay well away from me and mine,’ Jade said.
Gold swallowed a retort and made his voice suitably even. ‘If you do not request my company then I swear I will not approach.’
Jade placed both pale slender hands on the table, still glaring at Gold. ‘I agree.’
‘William?’ the Tiger said.
‘Same for me,’ William said. ‘Don’t come anywhere near me, stone, or I swear I will have your human head.’
Gold flew backwards then moved forward again. ‘I thought of you as a friend, William,’ he said softly. ‘Often when I was alone in my niche during these long hundred years I have thought of you. I was looking forward to seeking you out once I had my freedom and regained my human form. I thought I was your first.’
William leaned forward over the table and glared at Gold. ‘Stay well away from me!’ he spat. ‘You come near me, I will tear you to pieces! My tiger form has never tasted human flesh.’ He grinned with menace. ‘I would be happy to make you my first.’
‘I’ve seen enough,’ Jade said. ‘Don’t come near me, Gold, or I’ll have your head in my teeth.’ She disappeared.
‘I have things to do,’ William said, and also vanished.
‘Honour is satisfied,’ the Archivist said. ‘You have been warned, stone.’ He nodded to the Number One Son of the Dragon King.
‘Yi Long, you may proceed.’
Even after a hundred years the form was simple to take. He fell to one knee and saluted the Tiger, the Archivist, and the dragon. ‘My Lords, I thank you.’ He pulled himself back to his feet.
‘You have scrolls for me to index, Archivist?’
‘I have no further need for your services, Gold,’ the Archivist said with a small smile. ‘You’ll have to find gainful employment if you want to live as a human.’
Gold glanced at the Tiger.
‘Don’t even think I’m giving you a job near my women while you’re in that form,’ the Tiger said with amusement. ‘I still don’t trust you. You have ten minutes to get your carcass out of the palace, and if you ever return I will take off your head.’
‘I hear there is plenty of work in Guangdong,’ the Archivist said. ‘Why not go there? Business is booming, there is much need for Shen with mathematical ability, and you stones are famous for your aptitude with an abacus.’
Gold didn’t salute them or say a word. He just disappeared. He had no intention of ever seeing any of them again.
‘Ah,’ the demon said, understanding. ‘You need a soft bed.’ The demon had taken human form to meet with Gold; he appeared to be a middle-aged Chinese businessman, one of many found in this part of Southern China who dealt with the opium traders from the West.
Gold smiled through a mouthful of dim sum. ‘Precisely.’
‘I have no need for a book-keeper right now,’ the demon said, pouring the tea and then placing the lid sideways on the pot to indicate that it needed filling. ‘You’re out of luck if you want work from me.’
Gold chuckled. ‘Who says I want to work?’ He inspected the steamer carefully. ‘What would you pay for one of the Tiger’s wives? To hold for ransom?’
The demon took several wheezing breaths before he calmed himself down, and sipped the tea again.
‘I can enter the seraglio,’ Gold said. ‘I served there for a hundred years. Many of the wives know and trust me. What would you give for one of them?’
‘It wouldn’t be worth it,’ the demon said. He took another sip of tea. ‘The White Tiger is nearly as formidable a demon destroyer a
s the Xuan Wu. It would come after me and destroy me.’
Gold thought quickly. ‘How about this, then? I take the wife, you hold her. I rescue her, and pretend to destroy you. I return her to the Tiger, and we split the reward.’
The demon studied Gold over the tea. Then he placed his teacup on the table and put his hands, palms down, on either side of his bowl. ‘I like it. But the harem is like a fortress. The guards are the Tiger’s finest sons. There’s no way you could get in.’
‘I can get in anywhere,’ Gold said. ‘I could steal the Great Seal of the Jade Emperor if I wanted.’
‘Oh, now that’s an interesting claim,’ the demon said. ‘The Hall of Celestial Treasures is damn near impenetrable. You couldn’t possibly do it.’
‘If I can’t get you a wife then I’ll get you the Great Seal,’ Gold said.
‘I have a tea plantation in Fujian province,’ the demon said. ‘It produces the finest silver-tipped tea in China. Nearly five qing, the largest tea plantation on Drum Mountain. If you can get me one of the White Tiger’s wives, you can have the plantation and half the reward.’
‘Does the plantation have a manor?’ Gold said.
‘Of course,’ the demon said. ‘Fifty rooms, human servants thrown in. Plenty of lovely soft beds for you to take your pleasure in.’
‘If I can’t get you a wife then I’ll get you the Great Seal,’ Gold said.
‘A young wife,’ the demon said. ‘A pretty one.’
‘They’re all pretty, you know that,’ Gold said. ‘The Tiger only wants beautiful women.’
The demon raised his teacup. ‘It’s a bet.’
Gold raised his own tea. ‘Good.’
‘To the Tiger’s beautiful wives,’ the demon said.