by Deanna Chase
I sighed and adjusted my shirt, making sure I was covered. “What kind of problem?”
“There’s a ghost down at the Midnight Chocolate Bar. I need you to help me get rid of him.”
“Him?” I raised a skeptical eyebrow.
“What ghost?” Julius asked, moving to stand next to me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close until I was tucked firmly against him.
Ida May stared at us and then shook her head. “You two make me want to gag. When did you get so… touchy-feely? Don’t you think it’s a little rude to do that in front of me? I mean, it has been forever since I’ve felt a man pressed up against—”
“Ida May, why are you here?” I demanded, not wanting to hear about the last time she did anything with a man.
“Right.” She zoomed toward the door. “Like I was saying, there’s a ghost at the chocolate bar, and if someone doesn’t stop him, it’s likely he’s going to take over someone’s body.”
“What are you talking about?” I was already tugging Julius toward the door.
“You’ll see. Hurry, before it’s too late.” Ida May disappeared again, this time sailing right through the door.
I let out a small sigh of frustration and glanced up at Julius. “Rain check?”
He placed his hand on the small of my back, his touch easing the dread already forming in the pit of my stomach. “Count on it. Now let’s go check out the chocolate bar. Even if Ida May is full of BS, at least we can pick up some dessert for… later.”
The way he looked at me when he said later had me ready to tear my underwear off right then and there. But I managed to put the thought out of my mind as I followed him out of the room.
The sign posted outside the large ballroom read:
Welcome to Illusion’s Adults Only
Midnight Chocolate Bar.
Party from midnight till dawn.
I glanced at Julius. “I’d bet some kids are pretty upset right now.”
He chuckled and pointed at another sign that indicated there was a children’s version just down the hall. “Seems the powers that be have already thought of that.”
Someone opened the door leading to the kids’ area, and shrieks of delight filled the hallway.
“Thank the gods for small favors,” I said, grateful that if I couldn’t be alone with Julius, at least we could enjoy a grown-up activity together.
“There you are!” Ida May flew through the air straight at me. “Hurry up. If you don’t do something soon, some poor unsuspecting bloke is going to get a rude awakening when Bootlegger is suddenly in charge of his manbits.”
“Bootlegger?” I asked.
“Elias ‘Bootlegger’ Jamison. Keep up.” She glided back through the double doors into the ballroom.
Julius and I glanced at each other, his skeptical look mirroring my own internal feelings.
I sighed. “Let’s just get this over with so we can get back to our scheduled programing.”
He tightened his grip on my hand and nodded. “Ida May just took the top billing on my ‘most likely to be exorcized’ list.”
I laughed. “Normally I’d fight you on that, but if she interrupts sexy time again, I’ll call the priest myself.”
He grinned down at me, then sobered as he pierced me with his stare. My breath caught and I automatically leaned into him, more than ready for whatever he was planning.
“Holy hormones!” Ida May shrieked. “Get a grip, horndogs. There’s a ghost planning some creepy crap that you need to stop.”
Julius and I both took a step away from each other. I instantly felt empty. Alone. Almost as if I’d lost something important. I eyed him as he turned to Ida May.
He pulled at his shirtsleeves, straightening them as he stared at her, all traces of his earlier annoyance gone. “What is this about a rogue ghost?”
“This way.” She weaved her way through the crowd, this time glancing behind her to be sure we were following.
7
Inside the ballroom, all the waitresses were dressed in short skirts, thigh-high boots, and bustiers that showed more cleavage than a romance-novel cover. The waiters wore skintight black pants and suspenders… no shirts. They were all gorgeous, sexy, and perfectly groomed, as if they were ready for a photoshoot.
One of the waitresses glided by, offering us champagne or Irish coffees. We both declined, preferring to keep our wits about us if there was a troublemaker ghost we’d have to deal with.
I glanced up and pointed at the banner hanging from the ceiling. It read: Adult Night Chocolate Extravaganza, where the desserts are just as naughty as you are.
“This is… not what I was expecting,” Julius said.
I chuckled. “Me neither, but at least it promises to be entertaining.”
We moved forward, the crush of people making me feel slightly claustrophobic. They were all crowded in front of a makeshift stage filled with a half dozen stainless steel tables and cooking equipment. Five of the tables had people in white bakers’ jackets and chef hats. The sixth table was empty.
“Look.” Ida May pointed to the station on the far left. “See him? He’s hovering over the chocolate fountain, waiting for his opportunity.”
I squinted, spotting a small man with a wide smile. He was busy arranging his mixing bowls and laughing at something a woman in the crowd had said. “You mean the very-much-alive human baker?” I asked, not bothering to hide my mild irritation.
“Behind him!” Ida May waved her arms out in front of her, her movements bordering on frantic.
I moved to the right and finally the ghost in question came into view right beside the vat of liquid chocolate. He was tall, thin, had long scraggly hair, and wore a midlength leather coat that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in over a hundred years. If he hadn’t had a scar that ran from his eye down his cheek, he’d actually have been very handsome with his angular jawline and vibrant eyes.
I frowned. “He appears harmless.”
“You don’t understand. I told him about how Muse spelled me and that for a few glorious minutes I was solid, a real live person again. And he got very excited, started talking about how he knew a way to enter a human body, you know—possess someone. Not just turn solid on his own.” Ida May scowled up at the stage. “Do you have any idea what he plans to do if he pulls this off?”
I shook my head.
She turned and pointed to an elegant woman with her blond hair piled on top of her head, standing off to the side of the stage. “Her. He wants to do her.”
“Oh, for the love of—” I stared at Ida May for a moment. “You know that sounds crazy, right?”
She locked gazes with me, her expression deadly serious. “I’m not crazy, Pyper. If he ends up in solid form, he’s going to try to spend the night in another woman’s bed. I can’t have that. We made plans. The bastard.” She cast a scowl at Bootlegger. “Now go up there and stop him.”
Holy hell. This was all about her losing her man to another woman. Of course it was. What else did I expect from Ida May? I had half a mind to just turn around and leave, but if the ghost really did have some way of possessing another person, I couldn’t. I had to do what I could to stop him, because gah! Taking over someone’s body was the ultimate invasion. Standing by and letting it happen was unacceptable.
“You have to get up there. Stop him. Do something!” Ida May flew up to the stage, pointed her finger in Bootlegger’s face, and started yelling at him as if they were an old married couple. Then she said something about his lack of morals and human decency, restoring my faith in her.
He just gave her a cocky smile and then eyed a group of male passengers as if deciding which would be the best host.
“She sure didn’t waste any time finding herself a man, did she?” Julius asked.
I shook my head. “She certainly has a knack for drama.”
“Hello, ladies and gentlemen!” The blond event coordinator Ida May had just pointed out made her way to the center of the stage, holdi
ng a microphone. She wore a lavender silk dress that hugged all her curves, accented with impossibly high silver heels. “Hi, y’all. I’m Maggie, and I’ll be your host for the evening.”
“Hi, Maggie!” the crowd said in unison as if they’d been prompted.
Bootlegger, already an expert at ignoring Ida May, floated right beside Maggie, staring at her wolfishly. The very idea that he might have a body soon and a way to hit on her turned my stomach.
“I hope you’re enjoyin’ your first evening on the ship,” she said, her Southern accent charming the crowd. “We have lots of fun in store for you tonight. Our bakers are here to show you the wilder side of the sweet treats we love so much. Nothing is off-limits. The naughtier, the better, we like to say!”
The crowd cheered, more than a couple of people making suggestive hand gestures and comments. Bootlegger joined in by reaching out and grabbing at Maggie’s butt. She jerked and glanced over her shoulder, but when she saw nothing, she composed herself and turned once again to the crowd with an easy smile.
She held up a glass of champagne in a toast. “We have only the finest chocolate and spirits. By the end of the hour, our bakers will present their creations and you, the audience, will vote on the most creative. And while we wait, we’ll have tastings and raffle drawings. But first, we need one more contestant. Someone from the crowd to keep things interesting. Now, who wants to volunteer?”
Hands rose instantly, followed by cries of, “Pick me! Pick me!”
I had to admit, the cruise ship sure knew how to throw a fun party.
Julius nudged my arm. “Volunteer.”
“What? Me? Why?”
“Because, even if Ida May is crazy, there’s still a ghost on that stage wreaking havoc. You could have your guides talk to him, or even just keep an eye on him in case he really does know how to possess someone. It’s not unheard of, you know.”
I did know. A spirit had possessed Jade once. She’d known what was happening but had been powerless to stop it. The trauma had taken weeks to get over. Julius was right. I had to do something. “Yeah, okay. But you better be ready to act at the first sign of trouble.”
He nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.” He glanced down at me with a mischievous smile. “Now go up there and make some inappropriate cupcakes. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”
I chuckled and raised my hand high. We were right in front now, and as the hostess was scanning the crowd, I noticed Ida May beside her, whispering in her ear. At that moment, Maggie locked eyes with me, and cried, “Ahhh, I think we’ve found our volunteer.”
Holy crow. Had Maggie actually heard Ida May? She hadn’t acknowledged her at all, but it was clear she’d homed in on me as Ida May spoke to her. It had probably been some mystical ghost thing.
“Looks like someone could use a little encouragement,” Maggie said, egging the crowd on.
They responded instantly, raising their glasses and chanting, “Go. Go. Go.”
“Yes!” I cried out, mimicking the excitement of the crowd. If I was going to do this, it was best if I did it right.
“Come on up here, darlin’,” Maggie drawled in her thick Southern accent, the kind that sounded more Tennessee than Texas.
I gave Julius one last look before I climbed up onto the stage to wild applause. Bootlegger turned his attention to me, cast his gaze up and down before leering at me. Staring him dead in the eye, I mouthed, Don’t even think about it.
Surprise replaced his pervy expression. “You can see me.”
I nodded once and gave him a warning look as I whispered, “Behave, or I’ll have you exorcised.”
“She’ll do it too!” Ida May chimed in with her arms crossed over her chest.
The old ghost let out a loud laugh, then sobered as he glared at Ida May. “Go away. I’ve got my eye on something less… aged.”
“Please,” Ida May shot back. “No one here knows how to pleasure a man more than—”
Their argument was drowned out when Maggie put an arm around my shoulders and asked, “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
“Pyper,” I said into the microphone, grateful for the distraction from Ida May and Bootlegger.
The crowd shouted back, “Hi, Pyper!”
“Excellent! Now, you know the rules?”
I shook my head.
“Ohhh, a virgin!” She raised her hand to the crowd and moved her finger as if it were a conductor’s wand. “On three. One, two—”
The crowd erupted into the chorus of Madonna’s hit song.
I laughed, thoroughly enjoying myself.
“Very nice,” Maggie said to the crowd. “I think a few of you have a future in the music industry.” Then she turned to me. “Okay, you have one hour to make the most entertaining chocolate creation you can think of. The winner gets an all-expenses-paid trip for two to the eastern Caribbean. Now, I have to warn you. This is an adult party. Past winners have all been adult themed. So unless you’re making humping bunnies, cute animals aren’t gonna cut it.” She glanced out at the crowd. “Am I right, guys?”
“Right!” they answered back.
I stared at the fully engaged crowd and started to wonder just how many had taken this cruise before. Maybe some of them were staff to get the party going.
“Got it, Pyper?” she asked.
“Got it. I assume all the ingredients that are laid out are available?” I asked as she walked me to my station. I was assigned the table between the short round man I’d spotted earlier and a tall thin woman. She had bright pink hair, a tattoo of a peacock on the back of her neck, and wore an all-purple boho-chic dress.
“Yep. Anything you find is acceptable. Even if your neighbor already claimed it. This is a full-contact sport.”
Well, okay then.
“We’ll start in just a few minutes.”
She left me to my table and walked to the center of the stage, once more engaging the crowd. I took stock of my station: unsalted butter; unsweetened chocolate; semisweet chocolate; white chocolate; eggs; flour; and three different kinds of sugar: white, powdered, and brown. There was vanilla, a spice rack, nuts, spirits, and other herbs and infusions. Behind me was the giant fountain that kept churning the chocolate.
“He’s already up to no good,” Ida May said from behind me.
I turned my back on the crowd and prayed the other contestants couldn’t hear me when I asked, “What are you talking about?”
She gave me a conspiratorial look and pointed into the pool of liquid chocolate in the fountain.
I peered over the edge and spotted an outline of a face with two ghostly eyes staring back at me. “Holy hell.”
“You can say that again. He’s contaminating all that fine chocolate,” Ida May said.
I doubted that, being that he didn’t actually have a form. But a face floating in the liquid was certainly creepy enough. “When did this happen?”
“Just now. One moment he was arguing with me, and the next he was diving into the chocolate.” She pursed her lips as she watched him blink. “I kinda like it. I always was one for getting dirty.”
“Oh geez. I did not need to know that,” I said under my breath. I smiled at the boho lady beside me when she eyed me with suspicion.
“Just sayin’.” Ida May grinned. “For someone from New Orleans, you sure are uptight.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the input.”
“Okay, bakers. Ready to create?” Maggie asked.
The other five pumped their fists in the air and yelled, “Ready!”
I followed suit, a step behind everyone, already making a name for myself as the loser.
“Then start your creations!”
8
A loud bell chimed, and everyone started running around like chickens with their heads cut off just the way they did on the reality TV baking shows. I took a small step back, making sure I was out of everyone’s way.
“Better get on it,” Boho Lady said. “If you don’t start grabbing ingr
edients, they’re going to be all gone.”
I looked back at the ingredient table and realized she was right. Keeping one eye on the vat of chocolate, I hurried to the table and started grabbing everything I’d need for Jade’s famous cream cheese chocolate chip cupcakes. It was just about the only thing I could think of off the top of my head. How I was going to make them adult themed, I had no idea. But it was a start.
No one went for any liquid chocolate.
That was good news, for now.
“Keep an eye on Bootlegger,” I told Ida May while my back was turned to the crowd. “If he leaves the chocolate, or anyone takes any, let me know.”
“You got it, partner.”
I glanced at her. She gave me a wide smile and nodded, obviously pleased with herself. Chuckling, I crossed the stage, turned my assigned oven to 375, then got to work on the batter.
In no time, I had the cupcakes ready to go and in the oven.
The man on my right was busy fondling the modeling chocolate. I peered at the small shapes and tilted my head to the side, trying to register what they were. Then when he inserted a skewer into the bottom of one and held it up for inspection, the lightbulb went off. The curved, phallus-shaped chocolate pop was a little on the small side though. And I didn’t care what anyone said: size did matter, especially when it came to chocolate. I snickered, aware I was behaving like a twelve-year-old boy.
“So obvious,” Boho Lady muttered from my other side. “There’s always one making a life-sized model of their junk.”
I couldn’t help it. I snorted a laugh.
She smiled at me, her brilliant green eyes sparkling with mischief. She was busy chopping off sections of a rectangular cake, shaping it into something I couldn’t quite make out.
“It’s a torso,” she said, with a wink.
She was going full on Cake Wars with her creation. Impressive.
I pulled out modeling chocolate and went to work on cutting out perfectly round circles. Once they were placed on a wax sheet, I grabbed a couple of tubes of decorating icing and piped on cute little bikini tops and bottoms, alternating each one so I’d have an equal number.