by Skyy
“I didn’t know she was going to look like that.” Misha’s heart was racing. Cooley hadn’t noticed them. She was in business mode, and it was turning Misha on. Misha didn’t think it was possible for Cooley to look better than she had in college, but she was wrong. Cooley’s jeans were fitted, and she wore a blue- and black-striped button-down. Her large-carat diamond studs flashed every time the spotlight hit her.
“Damn, she does look good,” Lena agreed. She couldn’t believe it herself. Cooley wasn’t the hip-hop stud anymore. She looked like she had stepped out of an Armani ad.
Cooley went over the final details with the security guards who would be watching Sahara. She gave them daps as they headed to their positions. Something was telling her to turn around. She instantly thought she had seen a ghost. She looked back at the wall. It couldn’t really be Misha. Cooley turned back to see her past staring at her with a grin on her face. Cooley took a deep breath and headed over.
“Surprise!” Carmen yelled. She hoped Cooley didn’t kill her when they got home.
“This is a surprise.” Cooley made a mental note to kill Carmen when they got home. Standing in front of her was her first love, and she looked good. “I almost couldn’t believe it was you.” Cooley extended her arms.
Misha hesitated for a second but then received Cooley’s hug. Not only did Cooley look good, but she smelled good too. The scent was all too familiar. Although Cooley owned tons of expensive bottles of colognes, she had always been partial to Pleasures by Estée Lauder. Misha felt her knees buckle. The instant connection was present. They hugged until Misha couldn’t take it anymore and pulled away.
Cooley could tell Misha was turned on. She could still read Misha like a book.
“Damn, Lena too? This is a surprise for real.” Cooley gave Lena a much shorter but endearing embrace. “Carmen, why didn’t you tell me they were coming?”
“Well, I didn’t know till a little bit after I arrived here. I was just as shocked as you to find out they were coming,” Carmen replied, playing it off.
“How are you, Mish?” Cooley focused her attention back on Misha.
“Fine . . . fine . . .” Misha felt like an idiot. She couldn’t think of any other words to say.
Cooley grinned. She could tell Misha was struggling, so she turned back to Lena. “Lena, you see ya girl out there?” Cooley could still feel Misha’s eyes burning into her.
“I know, right? I’m so proud of her.” Lena smiled like a proud mother.
Cooley nodded. “Yeah, she’s doing big things, up for some pretty big roles.”
“That’s amazing,” Lena said. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Denise. Denise had the mic in her hand again. The promoter asked her if she would bring out the next entertainer.
“All right, what y’all have been waiting for,” Denise announced. “I am proud to bring my sister out to the stage. Make some noise for Sahara!”
The lights in the building went out as the crowd went wild. A montage of Sahara’s videos played on the screen.
Misha grabbed Carmen’s hand again. She was already having a hard time seeing Cooley, and so she definitely wasn’t ready to meet her replacement.
Cooley suddenly realized her first love was in the same room with her new love. Her mind raced with how she would play this one off. She knew she would finally have to introduce the two. Sahara had never bit her tongue about the woman who broke Cooley’s heart. Cooley didn’t know how Sahara would react to meeting Misha, especially since she hadn’t had a chance to prepare for the moment.
“I’ll be back.” Cooley quickly excused herself from the group. She made her way farther into the backstage area as the lights came up and Sahara walked out onstage.
Sahara’s dancers danced as she strutted out onstage. Misha couldn’t hate; the girl was bad. Sahara’s body was incredible. She had curves like Beyoncé’s, an ass like Nicki’s, and a gorgeous face, and the leather shorts she had on looked more like they’d been painted on. Not only was she gorgeous, but she could actually sing. Misha wanted to throw herself off the side of the stage.
While Lena and Carmen danced to Sahara’s number one hit, Misha couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Misha decided that Sahara’s butt had to be the product of injections, and her face couldn’t be that pretty without some type of surgery.
Misha had done a good job the past few years of steering clear of Cooley and Sahara. Whenever she saw a magazine with Sahara’s picture in a store, she would just walk away, and she’d change the channel whenever Sahara came on the TV screen. The only place she didn’t encounter her was on the radio. Her son, Jaylin, would throw a fit if she tried to change the station when Sahara’s upbeat song “Dance Diva” came on.
There was only one magazine she had bought. It was a copy of Ebony with Cooley, Sahara, Denise, and Farih on the cover. It contained interviews with them, along with other members of the black GLBT community. She had been in the store and couldn’t help purchasing it. She’d sat in her car and read the whole magazine before disposing of it. If Patrick had found the magazine, it would have caused a big issue. There was only one subject they just didn’t talk about, her past lesbian life.
Cooley walked into Denise and Sahara’s dressing room. She stood against the wall, staring at Denise. Denise took a sip from her bottle of water. She looked at Cooley, who was still in shock.
“What?” Denise asked, bringing Cooley back to reality.
“You have to see it to believe it.”
The two walked to the side of the stage. As soon as Denise turned the corner, she froze. She knew she had to be seeing things.
“Whoa! Is that?”
Cooley nodded. “Yep.”
Denise couldn’t believe her eyes. A few feet away from her stood Lena. She knew she was losing her mind. She hadn’t seen Lena in years. Now, after fantasizing about her, Lena was suddenly a few feet away from her. She took a deep breath and followed Cooley.
“Lena Jamerson.”
The voice paralyzed Lena. She wanted to turn around, but she couldn’t. She took a deep breath. She could smell Denise’s cologne; it was intoxicating.
“Denise Chambers,” Lena said as she exhaled and turned around. It felt like slow motion as Denise reached in to hug Lena. They both could feel the energy between them. It was dynamic, like the connection had never gone away.
“It’s so good to see you.” Denise held on to Lena’s small frame. She finally pulled away.
Lena didn’t want her to.
Denise looked her up and down. “Damn, will you ever age? You look amazing. And Misha . . . Oh my God, what is going on tonight?” She hugged Misha.
“I think I’ve changed some.” Lena looked down at herself.
Denise smiled. “You look as good as you did the first time I walked in our dorm room.”
Lena blushed, and an uneasy feeling came over her. Had she really not changed in five years? All her friends looked different. Did she really still look like a freshman?
“I know. It’s like senior year all over again,” Carmen quipped. She could feel how uncomfortable everyone was, but she couldn’t help but feel happy to have all her closest friends in the same room again. This hadn’t happened since her birthday three years ago.
The five stood in silence for a moment. Cooley and Misha looked at each other. What could they say to each other after so long? Last time Cooley saw Misha, Misha was very pregnant by the man she had cheated on Cooley with. Lena looked at Denise. The last time she saw her, Denise once again walked out of her life, but this time with her model girlfriend. It was awkward. They weren’t in college anymore. Lena and Misha were mothers now, and Denise and Cooley had moved on to brand-new lives with new women.
“Yeah, I feel like we should head to IHOP, like we used to after the club,” Carmen joked, trying to lighten the mood in the air.
“I don’t know.” Lena smirked. “We have Denise Chambers in our midst. There might be a riot at IHOP.” She grinned.
Denise
blushed as she brushed it off. “Please, no one is checking for me like that.”
They all laughed, and the tension lifted some.
Lena looked at Denise, then motioned with her head for Denise to follow. They walked to the backstage exit. Denise led Lena outside. The door closed, muting most of the sound from the club. They stopped and leaned against the wall. Lena patted Denise on her shoulder.
“I saw your movie. It was so good. You were really, really amazing in it.” Lena’s heart skipped a beat.
“Thank you.” Denise’s and Lena’s eyes met. Denise wondered if Lena felt the attraction she felt. She caught herself staring again and looked away. “I still can’t believe my life. Can you?”
Lena’s eyes met Denise’s again. “Denise, I always knew you were going to do amazing things.” Lena reached out and grabbed Denise’s hand. It was like a jolt of electricity coursed through her body. Her smile died a bit. Denise was a new person, and Lena suddenly felt out of place.
Denise noticed the mood change. “So what are you thinking right now?” She picked up Lena’s other hand. They stood in front of each other.
Lena took a deep breath. “I don’t know. This is all so unreal.”
“Is it?” Denise’s smile had turned into her familiar serious stare. Denise wasn’t going to take her eyes off of Lena.
Lena squirmed. She wanted to tell Denise that it wasn’t unreal and that they were right where they were supposed to be. She wanted to tell Denise to take her and never let her go. Suddenly, Bria’s smiling face popped into her head. Lena let go of Denise’s hands.
“Things are so different now. You’re a movie star, Denise, and I’m a mom.”
Denise’s eyes widened. In the moment she had totally forgotten about Lena’s child. “That’s right. Tell me you have photos.”
Lena smiled, pulled her phone out, and opened one of several galleries of Bria. She handed the phone to Denise.
Denise’s eyes popped as she looked at the photos. “Oh my God, Lena, she is absolutely gorgeous. Such a mini you.”
“Thank you. She’s pretty much my world.”
Suddenly there was a shift in the electric energy. It was no longer about romance. It was the friendship again.
Sahara was on her last song. The crowd was singing along with her. She was looking off to the side of the stage when Cooley caught her eye. She saw a girl standing with Carmen and Cooley. There was something oddly familiar about the girl, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. As she dropped down in one of her dance steps, it hit her.
It can’t be, Sahara thought to herself. She turned around toward that side, doing the booty bounce. She noticed the look on Cooley’s face. She was smiling. Sahara knew instantly that it was Misha.
Cooley felt a sharp pain in her side. She looked at the stage, and her eyes met Sahara’s. She could tell by the look on Sahara’s face that she had put two and two together.
“Ya girl is really good,” Misha told Cooley. The words tasted like vinegar coming out of her mouth.
“Thanks. I’m glad you think so.”
“I really don’t.” Misha laughed. Cooley laughed it off with her, but they both knew she meant it.
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool. I guess you’ll finally be meeting her tonight.”
“I guess so.” Misha’s stomach was in knots. She suddenly didn’t feel good anymore. She realized that she didn’t hold a candle to Sahara. Sahara was an international superstar, and she was the housewife who had cheated on Cooley with a man.
Sahara said her final good-byes to the crowd and walked off the stage. The club DJ began to play songs, and the crowd began to disperse to various areas of the club.
“Let me go take care of things with the promoter. Give us just a few, and we will be back,” Cooley told Misha and turned around to see Denise and Lena headed back over to them. She walked past them, taking Denise with her.
Misha turned away from the girls. She fought back tears. Carmen and Lena quickly came to the rescue, placing their arms around her.
“Mish, sweetie.” Lena rubbed Misha’s back.
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” The tears rolled down her face. “I can’t go meet that girl.”
“Misha, it’s not going to be that bad.” Carmen held Misha’s hand.
Misha pulled away. “No, Carmen, seriously, I have to get out of here. Now!” Misha’s hands were shaking.
Lena and Carmen knew she wouldn’t be able to regain her composure before Cooley came back.
“Let’s go.”
As soon as Lena said the words, Misha was headed down the steps.
“C . . .” Lena said.
Carmen just nodded her head. Lena headed down the steps after Misha.
As they made their way through the club, Lena looked up at the VIP section. Danni was talking to a group of women. As soon as she saw Lena, she smiled. Lena mouthed, “I’m sorry” as Misha pulled her out of the club, leaving Danni with a confused expression on her face.
Carmen walked back to the dressing room.
“Carmen, you little devil.” Sahara smiled, but Carmen could tell she wasn’t happy. Carmen liked Sahara, but she would never take the place of Misha in her heart.
“I’m sorry, girl, but I didn’t know. I haven’t kicked it tough with my girls in forever.” Carmen sat down on the couch and watched Sahara’s assistants help her change.
“Told you.” Cooley shook her head. She had already had an earful.
“I guess. Well, how did it feel seeing her?” Sahara took her black wig off. Her regular curly hair fell down. Her hairstylist immediately started quick styling it.
“I mean, it was cool. You forget we were all friends, so it was just like seeing an old friend,” Cooley replied.
Denise and Carmen smiled at each other. Denise put her head on Carmen’s shoulder as she listened to Cooley talk her way out of the small disaster.
“Okay, so when do I finally get to meet the infamous Misha? Carmen, where are they?” Sahara asked.
All eyes were on Carmen. Denise gave her a curious look.
“Oh, they left,” Carmen announced. From the looks, Carmen knew she had to think of a quick reason that Lena and Misha had fled. “They were only supposed to be out for a bit. You know, they had to get back to their kids.”
“That’s right. Misha is married, isn’t she?” Sahara noted and looked at Cooley.
Cooley just shook her head at Sahara’s jab. She loved her girlfriend, but her mouth sometimes made Cooley want to shake the shit out of her.
“Did Lena say anything?” Denise whispered in Carmen’s ear as Cooley and Sahara continued their witty snaps at each other.
Carmen shook her head. She knew there wasn’t time to say anything. She could see the disappointment on Denise’s face.
Tee, Cooley’s longtime assistant, walked into the room. “They’re ready to move you all to the VIP section.”
Everyone but Sahara and Cooley stood up and walked out.
Sahara looked at herself one last time in the mirror, then grabbed Cooley’s hand before she headed out. “I just want you to know I’m cool. It was just a shock.”
“I know.” Cooley kissed her cherry-red lips.
“I love you,” Sahara said as she wiped the leftovers off of Cooley’s mouth.
“Love you more.”
“I can’t believe I melted down like that.” Misha put her hand on her forehead. Lena held her friend as they lay in her large bed. They had arrived back at Lena’s house after a long drive, during which Misha had ranted about how messed up her life was.
A gallon of cookies-and-cream ice cream sat between them as they watched Love & Basketball on Lena’s fifty-inch LED TV. Misha was finally calm and back to her normal self.
“It’s okay. I wasn’t too far behind you. Neither of us knew what we were in for.” Lena was staring at the TV screen but wasn’t paying attention to the movie at all.
Misha sat up in the bed. “How are you feeling?”
; Lena continued to stare into space. “Do I really look the same way I looked when you met me?”
“Yeah, lucky ass.” Misha ate a big spoon of ice cream. “I wish I could look the same.”
Lena turned to Misha. “Seriously? Nothing has changed?”
“Why?” Misha questioned as soon as she saw the worried look on Lena’s face.
“I don’t know. I just figured I would look somewhat different after five years and a baby, more mature or something.”
“You better enjoy those girly features while you can.” Misha put the container of ice cream on the side table and rolled over. “I need sleep. I can’t believe I’m actually going to get some sleep tonight. I never want to go home again.” Misha quickly drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
Lena quietly got out of her bed. She walked into her bathroom and turned on the light. Lena stared at herself in the mirror. They were right; she still looked the same. Her hair was still long and flowing against her baby face. While her life had changed drastically, her looks were the same, innocent, immature. It hit her that things in her life had changed but she hadn’t. She was still the same girl she was years ago.
She hadn’t found herself. She didn’t know if she liked women more or men. She didn’t know if she wanted a relationship or if it was just seeing Denise that had sparked her interest. She lived for her daughter but never had time to live for herself. She had broken the vow she made to herself three years ago to focus on Lena. She had focused on everything but herself.
She knew it was time to finally find Lena.
Chapter 7
Misha knew she couldn’t put off the inevitable anymore. It was time to face the music and go home. Although her night didn’t go as planned, she had still enjoyed the mini break. She loved her son and husband, but she couldn’t help but think something was missing.
After leaving Lena’s house, Misha decided to treat herself some more. She headed to one of the nearby full-service salons for a day of beauty. She got her hair done, had a facial and a mani-pedi, and finished her day off with an hour-long massage that was like heaven to her back. She used the time to relax and think about her life.