She had, however, noticed that Elza had also seen what was going on, and because of this she had felt less at ease the past few weeks. She had remained in her room in the morning, going out immediately and staying out until Rutger would be back. In this way she avoided being alone with Elza. It made no sense, in fact, his being married to Elza. If she had wanted, he would have been married to her if she had paid more attention to him when he was getting to know them both. But, in fact, she didn’t really have an office assistant in her sights: that was all right for girls who were less pretty than her, such as Elza. She wanted a plantation owner. Although, Rutger had the chance to become administrator, of course, but heaven knows how long that would take. She would not want to live in a simple house with front hall, dining room, two bedrooms and only six slaves, and not even a carriage. But fine – now the Jewish teacher would be coming to stay at Hébron. That was something different. A Jewish teacher who was also assistant-rabbi and would later be rabbi. That was someone with prestige and position. The teacher’s house on the corner of the Heerenstraat and Klipstenenstraat was a beautiful dwelling, and his annual earnings would be quite respectable, too. For of course Abraham would succumb to her charms and she would certainly see to it that he asked her to marry him. She was, after all, nineteen years old – just, the previous month. No, it was now really time to get married. Just imagine that she might be left on the shelf, the most beautiful of all the girls of her age.
During the hottest part of the day she occasionally dozed off. Mini-mini sat in front of her with a large fan made of feathers and now and then poured her something to drink from the large basket with food and drink that was always well filled on journeys.
Once at Hébron and while sitting with her mother in the front room after their afternoon rest, Sarith had to recount everything she had been doing during her two months in town, and in her turn she had asked her mother when precisely Abraham Cohen would be arriving and had he not got bored during the previous visit.
Mama answered, “Apparently not, otherwise he would not want to come along during the return journey and stay here,” but she said nothing more about this. She said only that he was so pleasant and so considerate, so full of interest in everything, and how she had thought then what a pity it was that Sarith wasn’t there to keep him company.
A few days later the tent boat of the Jewish authorities came and moored. Sarith was already standing on the jetty. Rebecca, too, was standing at the waterside. Sarith had noticed this and was surprised, since Rebecca hardly ever bothered herself with lodgers or strangers, but she gave it no further thought. With a smile Abraham Cohen came towards her.
“Oh Miss Sarith, you’re at home, what a pleasant surprise.”
“Is that so?” Sarith asked with a provocative laugh.
Abraham looked at her briefly, laughing, and then turned and had walked with outstretched arms towards Rebecca.
“Rebecca, how wonderful to see you again.”
He then took her arm and together they walked back towards the house, stopping occasionally so that he could talk to her while looking her in the face.
Sarith was astounded. Was this the shy, inhibited Rebecca, who hardly ever said anything? She saw a young woman in the bloom of her existence, without a trace of shyness, but rather talking and laughing and not worrying at all about her monotonous voice. So it was Rebecca Abraham had returned to see, can you imagine. Now that Sarith looked more closely she saw that Rebecca was wearing a new, pretty gown and that her hair was elegantly styled. And Abraham, who was enjoying Rebecca’s company so much as she walked alongside him, cast not a glance at Sarith.
Oh, thought Sarith, of course this was all because there had been no-one else at the plantation when he was here the previous time. But now Sarith was there, it would be a real disappointment for Rebecca, for of course he would prefer to be with Sarith. Who would want a deaf woman?
But in the days that followed, the situation remained the same. Abraham was interested only in Rebecca. They talked about books and about the Torah. She showed him all her dolls and paintings. They walked together and sat now and then, sometimes on the bench at the waterside, sometimes on the front veranda. Occasionally they would take a trip on the river, and if Sarith was with them, Abraham appeared hardly to notice her. A cursory word exchanged with her and he was back with his full attention for Rebecca. And Sarith became increasingly annoyed. Was it for this she had come to Hébron? Did Abraham not see how beautiful she was? Did he not know that she was every man’s lust object, but that she would be his were he only to ask? She really would have to make him look at and listen to her.
One afternoon when they were sitting outside and Rebecca had gone indoors for a moment, Sarith remarked, “You are really paying her a lot of attention, aren’t you? Are you really serious about this?”
“Am I serious about it?” asked Abraham, “But of course I’m serious; I find her the most fascinating lady I’ve ever encountered.”
“But she’s deaf,” cried Sarith.
“So what? That makes her even more fascinating. I believe that the time I’ve been spending with her has been the happiest of my life.”
The reply could not be clearer, and Sarith reflected with not a little resentment that it was indeed for this that she had returned.
When, after ten days or so, Abraham returned to Paramaribo with the promise to return immediately after the Jewish Passover feast, Sarith wanted to travel with him to the town to stay again with Elza and Rutger. It would in any case be better than remaining here. But she didn’t know how to arrange this, especially with Passover on the horizon and the knowledge that Esther, Jacob and the three boys would be spending a week at Hébron. So she remained on the plantation, sometimes bored, sometimes less bored, for there was enough diversion. Many tent boats put in at the plantation to ‘bide the tide’ as they would say. For all river journeys, people took serious account of the tide. You left Paramaribo if at all possible with the flood tide. When the tide turned, you stopped at a plantation and waited for six hours. If night had fallen in the meantime, then you stayed overnight. Everyone took all this for granted, and at every plantation a welcome awaited all tent boat passengers. Plantation owners invited white guests to their table. Bedrooms and bathrooms were at their disposal. Were there insufficient beds, then the guest could always hang up his hammock, inside if he so chose, or in the daytime outside in the shadow of some large trees. Slaves could lodge with the plantation slaves.
During these weeks, Rebecca went around the house with a happy smile on her lips. She was now interested in things other than painting and making dolls, and sometimes she even went to look in the kitchen with Ashana and Kokkie.
Abraham indeed returned after the Passover feast, and what everyone had anticipated now happened: he asked Levi for Rebecca’s hand in marriage. Levi was all smiles. He was so happy for her. He had watched that silent child growing into a lonely young woman and he was delighted that she had still found her way in life despite her handicap. Abraham himself looked so rosy and cheerful, mother Rachel was pleased, and Sarith looked into space with a fixed gaze.
When Abraham travelled back after a few weeks, Ma Rachel, Rebecca and Sarith were also in the boat. The first two were going to Paramaribo to buy everything that would now be needed: cotton for sheets, pillow-slips, bath towels and so forth. That had to happen quickly now, for Abraham wanted to get married in three months’ time. Sarith went along determined to continue her stay with Rutger and Elza.
ELZA
It had been a happy time for Elza. She sang and hummed and was cheerful. She had never spoken with Rutger about what she had seen through the keyhole that evening. They had, however, talked frequently about Sarith. Early on, Rutger had said one evening, “I miss Sarith; she was always so lively.”
Elza had then asked softly, “Do you love her, Rutger?”
“Oh, yes, I think so, just a little bit, in the same way I love everyone, and she is beautiful, isn’t she
?”
But for the rest they were very happy together as a couple. They talked about all kinds of things, went out frequently and often received visitors themselves. And then suddenly – it was already May – Aunt Rachel, Rebecca and Sarith appeared on the doorstep, the latter accompanied by Mini-mini and one of the De Ledesma’s errand boys with a wheelbarrow bearing Sarith’s luggage. With a sigh, Elza realized that all was not over, as she had hoped, but rather that things would just carry on as before. Aunt Rachel told the good news in great excitement: “Rebecca is engaged to the Jewish teacher Abraham Cohen.”
Rebecca herself looked on with a blissful smile, and then walked through the house to look at everything. Sarith asked whether it was all right to have the errand boy take her things upstairs and ordered Mini-mini to unpack for her. She had taken it for granted that she could stay in Elza’s house whenever she chose.
When Rutger returned home, Aunt Rachel and Rebecca had already left. He was clearly surprised to see Sarith and made no secret of it. He gave her a warm hug and told her time upon time how he had missed her. After lunch everyone took a siesta. Rutger usually went for his afternoon nap and was already in bed when Elza came upstairs, since he had to be at the office again at four to go to the stock exchange with Mr van Omhoog. Today, however, Elza waited alone, with no sign of Rutger. Where could he be for such a long time, Elza wondered. He would surely not want to miss his afternoon nap, especially as they were going out that evening. She got out of bed, intending to go downstairs to see where Rutger had got to, and walked along the passage. But when she was passing the guest bedroom, where Sarith slept, on the other side of the passage, near the stairs, she heard voices in that room. She heard clearly Rutger’s voice and then Sarith’s cooing titters, and then Rutger’s voice again.
“Oh God, no, not that.” Elza had been expecting anything and everything, but not this. She suppressed the urge to look through the keyhole, for she knew full well what she would see if she did. She hurried back to her own room. The tears burning her eyes, she lay on her bed, thinking: how low, how dreadful; how could Rutger do such a thing! How could Sarith do such a thing! It was as if she suddenly heard Rutger’s words that Sunday afternoon at Hébron: “Promise me one thing: never be jealous.” She had promised, but this she had never expected. Who on earth could have anticipated something like this? She knew, too, that she had said that afternoon, “That would surely not happen in my house?”
Had he not promised that? What had he answered when she asked that? She didn’t know any more. But no, this was simply not acceptable, and she would tell him so, too. This was too much. Wait – as soon as he left the room she would tell him. But Rutger did not come to her room. She heard him a little while later whistling as he went outside to the bathhouse, and as always Alex had laid his clothes out in the small office downstairs, near the outer door, and from there he went away. She heard the front door closing.
When Elza sat in the front room around six o’clock waiting for Rutger, Sarith also came into the room as soon as he arrived home. Elza was silent during the visit they were paying to acquaintances that evening. Rutger talked with the host and Sarith giggled a lot and talked sweet nothings with the lady of the house, now and then involving Elza in the conversation.
Was Rutger tired out due to his having missed his siesta? Or was it feelings of guilt that made him say, on arrival back home, “We’re going straight to bed, Sarith; sleep tight.”
In their own room, Elza thought, it’s now or never, and said, “Rutger, you were with Sarith in her room this afternoon.”
Rutger denied nothing, saying, “Yes, I was there.”
“And you went to bed with her,” said Elza.
“Yes, hmmm, well yes,” replied Rutger.
“Oh Rutger, how could you; how could you do such a thing?”
“Listen, Elza, you promised that you would not be a jealous woman, remember?”
“Yes, I promised that … but this …”
Rutger continued, “Oh dear girl, don’t take it so seriously. Look, I didn’t want this, but she wanted it so much; she pretty well forced me into it.”
“Rutger, how despicable: how vile of you to say such a thing. You know full well it’s not true.” Elza was livid.
“What do you mean, not true? It is the truth. I didn’t want it,” said Rutger.
“An innocent young girl can never force a man into such a thing.” Elza was now really incensed.
“An innocent young girl?” Now it was Rutger’s turn to be angry. “An innocent young girl? Do you really think that Sarith is an innocent young girl? Dear child, she is an experienced woman. You are an innocent girl, but she? Do you think I’m the first man she’s had in her bed? If that was the case I would certainly not have done it, but darling, you seem to know your stepsister hardly at all. She has certainly had three or four other men.”
“Oh no, that’s impossible.” Elza couldn’t believe her ears. “I thought … I always thought …”
“Listen Elza, and believe me: she wanted this so much, and when I said that it was better not to, she told me herself that she had first had a certain Charles van Hennegouwen, and then a captain and then still someone whose name she didn’t want to mention because it is someone I know and she found it rather painful.”
Elza sat on the bed. The conversation had taken a completely unexpected turn. Sarith an experienced woman, she thought. Rutger was right: she didn’t know her stepsister after all. She had thought that they knew everything about each other, but she knew nothing about her.
“Come now, my little one,” said Rutger. “This kind of thing blows over. Don’t be angry. Look – this doesn’t mean so much to a man. I don’t love Sarith, I love you. Believe me, this is nothing special. Be my loving wife again.”
Laughing, he took her in his arms and began to hug her lovingly and tenderly. Elza allowed her mind to be put at ease. With a bit of luck it would be over after this one time. Perhaps Sarith would be so ashamed about it that she would leave. And Elza told Rutger what she had wanted to tell him earlier: that she thought she was pregnant. Rutger was delighted. He kissed her and said that he hoped the child would be as sweet and sensible as the mother.
The next day there was nothing to suggest that Sarith was ashamed of anything. She laughed and hummed around the house. Indeed never alone with Elza, but when Rutger was around she would talk sweetly and amicably, also with Elza. For a whole week nothing further happened, and Elza began to hope that what had happened that afternoon really was the end.
One evening, Rutger had an important meeting. At the instigation of Mr van Omhoog he had been appointed a Master of the Orphan Chamber, that ensured that the rights of orphans and the mentally handicapped concerning any inheritance were respected, and the Annual Meeting was now to be held. When he was leaving, just after dinner, he said at table, “You mustn’t wait up for me: it will be a late evening.”
After Rutger had left, Sarith said that she would go straight to bed, as she had a slight headache. Elza also went upstairs early on. A few hours later she heard Rutger come home and heard how he said something to Alex downstairs. She then heard him stop at the head of the stairs and say, “Oh Sarith, aren’t you asleep?”
She heard nothing further after that, and understood that Sarith had been waiting for him. More than an hour passed before Rutger came into their room. Elza was angry. So it was not all over, it wasn’t just the one time. What a nasty situation. Oh Sarith, she thought, why on earth? Why all this? And Rutger? Why did he carry on despite everything? Yes, she had promised that she would not be a jealous wife, but had she really promised all this?
When Rutger had said that she should not be a jealous wife, she had thought in terms of a passing adventure with a half-breed girl, sleeping occasionally with a slave-girl, or a mulatto concubine if necessary. That was normal; every white man did it and all the ladies managed to live with it. But this? Sarith, of all people. Her stepsister, her bosom friend, the child she had g
rown up with, from whom from the age of seven she had been inseparable. How was this possible? Oh how she hated Sarith, yes, hated her, but even as she thought this, she saw in her mind’s eye Sarith and herself as children. Always together, giggling and laughing, in the same room in the evening, whispering in bed. And then she knew that she could not bring herself to hate Sarith. So, then she would be angry with Rutger. It was he who had brought about this miserable situation; it was all his fault. But then she heard how he assured her that such things were of little significance to him. Elza simply did not know how she should feel. She was angry. And when Rutger came into the room after an hour or so, she pretended to be asleep.
The following morning Elza intended to say nothing at all, but Rutger himself began to talk about it. He stretched his arm out to her, drew her towards him, and said, “You are so sweet, will you always be so? Do you know that Sarith was waiting for me late yesterday evening?”
Elza said nothing. What was there to say?
A few days later on the Sunday morning, Rutger and Elza decided not to go to church. Elza was not feeling too well and had been sick. When Sarith came downstairs and found them, to her amazement, sitting in the front room, Rutger said, “We’re just staying in. Elza isn’t feeling too well and she needs to take things easy for a while, don’t you, my little Elza?”
Sarith looked questioningly at Elza. When she saw a slight blush appear on Elza’s cheeks, she understood what Rutger meant. Elza looked up and saw Sarith’s gaze fixed on her. No bashful look, nor a gaze of understanding and sympathy, but two rock-hard, icy-green eyes looking at her. Elza saw this and realized with a shock: this is no little sister, but a rival, an enemy, that I have against me. And it was as if an ice-cold hand from inside had wrapped itself around her heart.
The Cost of Sugar Page 7