I was certain of what I had seen, but I now knew that trying to convince Sally - or any other sane human being (my Mom might believe me) of what had happened to me would get me locked up in some Hospital. I took the week off work and tried to act as normal as possible.
My mind though was a whirlwind of activities and strategic planning. Somewhere in the apartment; was a psychotic 3-inch human being who seemed to want me off the Planet; I was going to find and capture my little assassin, and then we would see who was crazy. The first three days went without incident. Sally still regarded me as a crazed lunatic; I knew that by the way, I caught her staring at me quizzically every so often - but apart from that and the fact that my Mom would arrive on Friday to spend the weekend, nothing all-toward happened.
Then one night Bam reared his ugly little head again. I was lying on my couch eyes closed when I heard a scurrying noise; like a small animal makes when it is darting around. I tensed, and half opened an eye. My heart beat shot up as I saw Bam on the Coffee table, crouched on edge; no doubt gaging the distance from the table’s side to the Sofa. With an effort, he jumped from the sofa, and for a while, I couldn’t see him. Sweat dripped down my brow as I lay still, scarcely breathing - where was the little bastard? After a few minutes, a little head emerged from the Sofa’s edge. Bam, pulled himself up and rolled over; I could see his tiny chest beating heavily as he lay trying to catch his breath. Haha! I thought. The little demon must have missed the Sofa’s edge, but had found the strength to climb up anyway; he gets an A for effort.
After a while he got up; I could see he had his axe with him this time. Eyes half open, I saw him slink towards my legs, and slowly clamber up, using my socks and the soft fabric of my sweat bottoms as leverage. He made his way slowly up my thighs to my abdomen. I was bare-chested, and he had a hard time balancing due to my heavy breathing. I waited until he raised the axe high; then moving as quickly as lightning I grabbed him.
He squirmed and squealed, but I held firm; careful not to squeeze too tight. I brought him close to my eye-line and heard him screeching and cursing.
I was almost laughing maniacally, as I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass tumbler. I placed him down carefully and turned it upside down quickly. For a minute I stared at Bam, trapped in a glass tumbler; on my kitchen table. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘Get up Sally!’ I shook her roughly on the shoulder.
‘Wah…Jake - what’s going on!’
‘Get up. You have to see this.’
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and peered at a wall clock. ‘Jake. Do you know what time it is?’ I didn't say anything. I grabbed Sally and dragged her, protesting and cursing to the Kitchen.
‘Have a look at that,’ I said triumphantly. She suddenly stopped. Shook her head and bent to have a better look. There was no doubt; a very upset Bam was banging on the glass tumbler, shaking his fist at us and swearing shrilly.
‘Dafuckisdat?’ Sally said. She looked at me, then at Bam, then at me again. ‘Is…is that real?’
‘I told you. It’s real. That’s a 3-inch human being.’
‘It’s a toy - quit joking,’ she said looking at me.
‘Would a toy,’ I said, pointing at the imprisoned Lilliputian, ‘do that?’
‘Oh my! How rude.’ Bam had lifted up his tunic and flashed us his butt in the act of defiance.
We spent a full 15 minutes peering at Bam, who kept on gesturing defiantly before Sally said. ‘Don’t you think we’d better put him somewhere he can breathe.
30 minutes later, Bam secured in a small animal cage, Sally and I sat down on the sofa.
‘Now do you believe me?’ I asked. She shivered.
‘Okay, Jake. Tell me exactly what happened to you in that ring.
I related the story again slowly; this time I could see from the rapt way she paid attention and the ways she munched on her lower lip that she believed me.
‘It’s - it’s fantastically unbelievable.’
I ran my hand through my hair. ‘Well, it’s all true.’
She got up and paced the room. ‘So what should we do now?’ Before I could answer, the doorbell rang. Jay and Jude were at the door.
‘Well…you gonna let us in?’ I realized that I blocked their way. They trooped in and settled down after greeting Sally who hung around in the kitchen doorway.
‘We just came to see how you are doing.’ I didn’t say anything. It was as if I’d lost my voice. Jay suddenly realized how weird we were acting. His eyes swept from Sally; who looked like she had just seen a Ghost to me - dumbfounded and blank-faced. ‘What’s wrong with you two?’ Jude asked, puzzled.
‘Yeah, looks like you just buried a body in the basement,’ Jay said.
It wasn’t exactly a body, but it felt like it. I made a decision.
‘Come with me. I want to show you something.’ Puzzled; they followed me into the kitchen. Without saying a word, I pointed at Bam who was sitting cross-legged in the cage.
‘What the hell is that? ’Jay said as he and Jude stuck their heads out and peered at Bam. Bam got up and made great piping squeaking noises, shaking his fists at the new-comers - if he was scared of the giants staring at him; he didn’t show it. He shook his fist, gestured with his hands and finally - in an act which was fast becoming his party trick - turned his back and exposed his buttocks.
‘What the hell is this? A toy?’ Jay exclaimed.
‘No it’s an alien,’ Jude said.
I sighed. ‘It’s not a toy or an alien. It’s a guy called Bam, and he hates my guts.’ Quickly, I explained what had happened and how Bam had come to be shrunk. They both glared at me. ‘Do you expect me to believe that?’ Jay asked, and his eyes turned to Sally who shifted her shoulders.
‘I tell you it’s the truth. How else do you explain that?’
Jay and Jude peered down at Bam, who put on quite a show. He hopped about, shook his fists and finally grabbed two wireframes of the cage and shook it furiously until exhausted, he fell down in a heap. Jay, obviously amused at Bam’s action laughed and brought out his phone. Jude quickly followed.
‘What the hell do you think you are doing?’ I said, blocking his view of the cage.
‘Hey make space…I’ve got to get this on video.’ Jay was trying to push me out of the way.
‘No video. If you are not going to be helpful, I will ask you to leave.’ Jay stared up at me, and I stared back. Finally, he sighed and put away his phone.
‘This is fantastic Jake. Think about how much money we could make with him. We could put him on YouTube; he could do interviews with the networks…hey,’ he said his voice rising in excitement. ‘Do you think there are others like him? Maybe we could have a wrestling tournament.’ Jude and Sally started talking as well, and it was only when I shouted for them to shut up that I got some quiet.
‘We are not putting him on YouTube,’ I said, and Sally nodded vigorously. ‘All of you,’ she said, ‘out of the kitchen. I’m going to get him something to eat and drink. Then we will see discus what to do with him. I think we should call the cops or FBI.’
When we were in the Living room, Jay spoke. ‘Before you call the FBI, give me a few days, we could become millionaires…think about the possibilities for Christ-sakes!!’
‘Shut-up Jay! This is serious business. We are telling no one.’
‘I think we should contact NASA. I still say he’s an alien.’
I glared at Jude.
‘Okay…okay,’ Jay said, his eyes gleaming with greed.
‘Tell us this story again.’
So I did. They had already heard it all before of course, but then, they had thought I’d been hit too hard in the head. Now, they listened with rapt attention taking it all in earnestly.
‘So,’ Jude said when I was done. ‘What to do now?’
I put my head in my hands a migraine beginning to rear its ugly head. ‘I don’t know. I just can’t keep Bam forever. M
aybe I can go to the Police or the Feds.
Jay scoffed. ‘If you tell them this cockamamie story, they won’t believe you; probably lock you up. Sure, you have a 3-inch human as evidence, but the story is still out of this World. They’ll keep the little guy, and no-one would ever hear of it again. It will probably be like one of them UFO stories we always hear about…Roswell.’
‘But they have to believe me.’
I got up and paced the room, banging a fist into my palm intermittently as my mind struggled to get a grasp of the bizarre circumstances of the last few weeks that had turned my ordinary existence upside down.
Sally came into the room and sat quietly. She was dressed in a Washington State sweatshirt and pants; even without make-up and the abnormal situation, she found herself she still looked cute as hell.
‘How’s he?’ Jay asked. ‘Can I just have another little peak?’
‘No. He’s sleeping.’ Turning to me she said. ‘I don’t think having so many giants staring at him like a zoo animal is good for him. He looks paler than when I first saw him. I left him some food - a tiny piece of cheese and pasta and water in a small doll’s cup. I also left him some water and a small piece of clothing in case he wants to bathe…oh - I think it’s very cruel that we have him in a cage. Can’t we find something more humane for him - like a Doll’s house or something?’
I glared at Sally scarcely believing what I was hearing. ‘The hell with humane! That little psycho tried to kill me!’
She glared back. ‘Well he’s no danger to you now, is he? We need to treat him with respect and dignity.’
‘What we need to do,’ said Jay, a sneer on his lips, ‘is to put that little bastard on Youtube and get some views. My cousin Derrick made a fortune with his cat and…’
‘Well this is no cat, and we will not put him on YouTube,’ Sally snapped.
I’d had enough of them.
‘Okay guys,’ I said. ‘Out! You guys are not helping the situation.’ 10 minutes later, we were alone. Jay and Jude were reluctant to go, but I insisted, right after swearing them to secrecy.
When we were alone, Sally and I discussed the fate of Bam. The more we talked, the more I realized, with rising dismay that Sally intended to keep Bam. I knew then that I had to think this through on my own. Fortunately, my Mom was due the next day so she could give her opinion.
I checked on Bam, and after making sure he was alright, went to sleep. Sally got up several times in the night, and I cursed silently as I knew she was checking up on Bam.
We had a quiet breakfast the next day. Sally fussed over Bam (much to my irritation) making sure he had breakfast (A small piece of toast and sausage) water and - believe it or not - orange juice. I could scarcely contain my annoyance as I watched her pour some milk in a small bottle top and slide it to a recalcitrant Bam. He never ate in front of us, but he was eating alright because whatever was left disappeared on our return.
‘You are paying more attention to that bloodthirsty psycho than me,’ I complained bitterly. ‘Oh don’t be a baby. There’s plenty of food in the fridge if you want.’ She hurried into the room and got ready for work, while I put on the TV, muttering grumpily to myself. She reappeared, kissed me goodbye and left after telling me not to forget to check up on Bam.
I spent the day deep in thought. What to do about Bam. I couldn’t hold him, prisoner, indefinitely. I also didn't like the idea of taking him to the Feds, although with the way things were going that looked most likely.
Around noon, My Mom arrived from Miami. I had given her an abridged version of events, worried she might think I was crazy but she had been strangely quiet, just saying she was on her way.
‘Hey Mom,’ I said kissing her as she pushed past me. My mom was a slim short woman with curly brown hair with liberal sprinkles of gray. She was fresh-faced - for a fifty-year-old - and her sparkling green eyes always had a mischievous glint in them. Today however she was all business.
‘Where is he?’ She said. I led her to the Kitchen. She glared silently at Bam for a full minute, as usual, he cursed and shook his hands aggressively at the newcomer. I stared at her shocked. My mom was the kindliest and gentlest soul ever, and the hateful look she gave Bam was totally out of character.
‘You alright Mom?’ I asked puzzled. She forced a smile on her thin lips, and life returned to sapphire eyes that had turned cold. ‘Yes. Jake. I need to tell you something, and it’s going to be hard.’
I was now worried. ‘What is it?’ She placed a small hand on my arm. ‘First I need you to see someone.’ She led me into the living room. Standing in the center of the room, was my stalker, Ceriuz.
I stared at him stunned. I was even more surprised as my Mom walked to his side and they both considered me. He was pale as ever; his cold gray eyes regarded me unblinkingly. Suddenly he dropped to his knees followed by my Mother and they both chorused.
‘Your Highness.’
Chapter 6
To say I was shocked was an understatement. I don’t know how long I stood mouth ajar staring down at my Mom and Ceriuz kneeling before me, heads bowed. After what seemed an eternity but in truth was only a couple of seconds, I trusted myself to speak.
‘Mom,’ I croaked, as she rose. ‘What the hell is going on here? Do you know him.’
She came to me and held my hand. There was a strange, undecipherable look in her eyes…fear, relief, joy, anxiety…it was impossible to read.
‘I think you should sit. You are about to hear something that will change everything son, My King.’
I sat because there was nothing else to do. Mom sat beside me and grasped my hands while Ceriuz, stood impassively.
‘Bam is here and alive?’ It was Ceriuz that spoke, in his unique echo voice, which sounded as if it emerged from my mind.
‘Yes,’ Mom answered. ‘I suppose we should dispose of him,’ she added quietly.
‘No,’ I yelled startling them both. I had no use for Bam. He had tried to kill me - was still trying to kill me, but he seemed harmless enough now; besides, Sally would rip my heart out and have it for breakfast if she thought I had anything to do with harming him.
‘No?’ Ceriuz said arching a thin silvery eyebrow. ‘Why he is a Berserker. A killer sent to kill you and will not stop until you are dead. Do not let his size fool you; he is full of hate.’
‘Leave it, for now, Sorcerer,’ Mom said. I glanced sharply at both of them, and the nightmare was becoming worse and worse.
‘Mom,’ I said, ‘can you tell me what the HELL is going on? Who is this guy - Ceriuz? Who is Bam? How come he’s now a mini version of himself? How the hell do you fit into all of this?’
She stared into my eyes. ‘Jake…I’m not your mother.’ A lot of strange things had happened to me these past few days, but it was those four words that unnerved me most.
‘What…what do you mean not my mother?’
‘You are not mine biologically. I am just your guardian. Someone to watch over you - take care of you as such a time that you were ready for the truth.’
I was speechless. I stared at her dumbfounded.
‘So who…’
‘Is your Mother? She was the Princess Eziirium of the seven lowlands. She married your Father, King Jaks the 3rd in Westalvia many eons ago and they quickly sired you. I was your mother’s servant, charged to watch over you.’
I snatched my hand away from hers as if it were hot coal. This was not the woman I knew as my Mom. There were a gravitas and seriousness about her that was out of character with the quirky, laid-back, carefree attitude to the woman I had called mom for 19 years.
Ceriuz’s voice echoed around the room. ‘Perhaps it is better I show the lad. Time is of the essence.’
My Mom peered at me teary eyed. ‘Let him show you, Jake.’ Slowly I turned to Ceriuz and nodded.
He stepped in front of me and held out his hands. It was strange to have him in my room; dressed like an eccentric retiree from Florida.
/>
I heard a faint rustle, and from his outstretched palms, dust particles emerged and started darting in a vortex, followed by small leaves and beams of light - red, gold, purple - intersecting each other like tiny atoms.
Despite my confusion and despair, I could not wrench my eyes away from the bizarre show of magic. Suddenly I felt a part of me; like a dark shadow step out of my body. The slim shadow floated into the air and quickly - joined Ceriuz’s menagerie of light, dust, wind, and earth.
Suddenly I was there myself, in another world. A world like ours, but at the same time very different. It was dusk, and the sky was a strange red, orange, dark blue hue. Clouds dominated, and the last vestiges of the sun provided a dim light as the shadow - or was it me (I couldn’t be sure) hovered in the sky, looking downward at a vast plain in which gathered, a great army - the army of my father.
There seemed to be hundreds of tents in the plain, surrounded by a great ditch spiked with sharp wooden stakes all around. I dipped down, taking a shadowy voyeuristic presence. There were thousands of soldiers gathered around campfires by their tent. Huddled in great fur coats, as it was the beginning of winter; cooking. Some were dazing while others were eating, making merriment and engaged in other activities. Wild dogs roamed the edges of the camp, sniffing for food, one eye alert for the errant boot of an irritated Soldier. There were a few women too. Most were in tents, attending to the sexual needs of men, who hadn’t felt the warmth of a female form in years, but the braver ones crouched around the fires and even skulked around in the shadows.
My eyes went to my father's tent, which was the biggest and best decorated. It dwarfed the other tents imperiously and was located right in the centre of the military camp. Two huge stalwart members of the King’s guard defended the entrance. The guards were dressed in a green tunic, bronze metal breastplates engraved with the image of a Wolf - my people’s guardian animal, and around their broad shoulders was draped colossal fur coats. Each held a long spear in their hands and sheathed on their sides, were the legendary and infamous short swords of the Westlavia army. They were killers: battle-hardened disciplined, soldiers who never shirked their duty. I stared for a minute, invincible to the naked eye, then I willed myself down and slithered, unseen, by them into the warmth of the tent. I stopped at the entrance, a thin shadow, invincible and inanimate, and stared hard at the tall man who huddled with his three other acolytes. He was tall, broad-shouldered, with long brown curly hair - my father, the King of Westlavia, was an imposing handsome man.
The Legend of Brigaard Page 5