by Carl Weber
“Why I gotta pay for your cab?” It’s not that I wouldn’t have paid for the cab in the first place, but she made it seem like she was tellin’ me, not askin’ me.
“You gotta pay ’cause if it wasn’t for your drunk ass, I wouldn’t have missed my ride, that’s why.” She had a hint of attitude.
“You don’t have to get nasty. I was just asking.”
“So, what’s up? You gonna give me the money for a cab or drive me home in the morning’?” She folded her arms, waiting for an answer.
“It’s up to you,” I threw the ball back in her court. Just in case we did end up in bed and at that point I was pretty sure we would, I didn’t want her blaming it on not being able to get home.
“I don’t feel like riding all the way to Brooklyn in no cab. I’m tired.” Yep, it was just a matter of time before we got busy tonight.
“Aw’ight, so spend the night. But I’m not gonna lie. I snore.”
“Please, that don’t matter to me. You sleeping on the couch, anyway.”
“I am?” I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
“Now I know you didn’t think you was sleeping with me.” She placed her hand on her hip and tilted her head. “And I damn sure know you ain’t think I was sleeping on no couch.”
“Oh, it’s like that, huh?”
“You got that right.” She sucked her teeth. “Just ’cause me and Terrance broke up don’t mean you getting some ass.” She waved her hands in the air for effect. “Now where do you keep your towels and facecloths? I smell just like that smoky bar.”
“Linen closet, first door before the bathroom. You’ll find a toothbrush in there too.” Val walked down the hall, and a few minutes later I heard the shower running. I sniffed my clothes. I smelled like smoke too.
The alcohol in me told me I should walk down there and jump in the shower with her; after all, that’s what she really wanted. Why else would she come to my place at two in the morning and spend the night if she didn’t really wanna get busy? But the common sense side of me, that side we all have when we’re drunk but never want to admit to said, Don’t be a fool. This is the kind of woman you could start a new family with. Maybe even have another kid with. Don’t fuck up. I listened to the common sense side but I have to admit the alcohol side had made some good points too. It wasn’t an easy thing to keep myself on that sofa knowing a beautiful woman was down the hall with no clothes on, dripping wet.
While Val was in the shower, I picked up the phone and dialed the house. I knew it was late but I wanted to clear the air between Lisa and me before I did something stupid. If she wanted a divorce, I wanted to hear her say it. I had no reason to distrust what Wil had told me earlier in the day, but like he said, this was my family we were talking about, and I had to be sure. Plus if something did happen between Val and me, I wanted to have a clear conscience and no regrets.
“Hello,” a groggy male voice answered. I hung the phone up thinking I’d dialed the wrong number in my drunkenness. Then to be sure I dialed the right number, I hit #83, the speed-dial number to the house.
“Hello,” the same groggy male voice replied again, damn near causing me to have a heart attack.
“Can I speak to Lisa?” I know I had an attitude. But shit, I couldn’t believe she had some man in bed with her while my kids were in the house. I don’t even wanna get into the fact that he was answering the phone, for cryin’ out loud.
“May I ask who’s calling?” he replied, still groggy.
Who the hell was he to ask me who’s calling? He was in my damn house in my damn bed on my damn phone.
“Can I speak to List?” Now I had even more attitude.
“Who’s calling,” he replied with a little attitude himself.
“Who the fuck is this?”
“Look, you called here, who the fuck is this?”
“If you don’t put Lisa on the phone, I swear to God I’ll be over there in five minutes to put my foot so far up your ass you’ll be feeding my toes when you eat.”
The line went silent. He was probably telling Lisa it was me on the phone and I was threatening to come over. Just thinking about her lying in a bed with another man was making me wanna jump in my truck and kick both their asses.
“Is this Kyle?” He’d lost his attitude and sounded humble. Not that it mattered to me. I wasn’t about to lose my attitude.
“Yeah, this is Kyle. Put Lisa on the phone.”
“Uh, she’s not here right now, but...”
“But what? You know what, forget it. Just tell Lisa to call me. And if I were you, I’d think twice about sleeping in another man’s bed.” I slammed the phone down in anger.
It took me a minute to calm down, and while I was doing that, I took the pillows off the sofa and pulled out the sofa bed. That’s when the phone rang. I sat on the edge of the bed and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Kyle?” It was Lisa, and she didn’t sound happy.
“What?”
“What the hell are you playing games on the phone for? And why are you threatening my guests?”
“I wasn’t playin’ on the phone. I was calling for you.”
“At three in the morning?”
“Yeah.” I hesitated for a few seconds. “I wanted to tell you I’m filing for divorce in the morning.”
The line was silent for a few seconds, then I heard her start sniffling. Shit. This definitely wasn’t what I had wanted to say to her, but I was so heated when she had another man answering my phone. No one should have to put up with that kind of disrespect. And what the hell was she crying about now? She already had another man takin’ my place and now she’s crying about a divorce?
“Lisa, did you hear me?”
I could hear her sniffle again.
“Lisa?”
“I heard you, Kyle,” she said weakly.
“Look, I hope this isn’t gonna get ugly.”
“It already is ugly, Kyle.”
“I know that. I was talking about financially. I’m willing to give you your fair share. I just wanna maintain control of the business and have joint custody of the girls. That’s fair, isn’t it?”
“I can’t talk about this shit right now.”
There was silence on the line again, and I thought she’d hung up until I heard her sob quietly.
“Kyle, do you have a T-shirt I can wear?” I covered the phone and turned around. There was Val with only a towel wrapped around her.
“Yeah, look in the bedroom, top left-hand drawer.”
“You don’t look so good.” Val walked over and put her hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m aw’ right.” I tried to smile as I pointed to the covered phone. “I’m just trying to straighten out a few things with my wife about our divorce.”
“Oh, sorry.” Val turned fast and walked toward the bedroom.
“Lisa, you still there?”
“I’m here. Who was that?”
“A friend.”
“You have a female friend over there at three in the morning? Asking for a T-shirt? You fucking bastard! No wonder you’re filing for divorce!”
“You’ve got some nerve. Who the hell are you sleeping next to?”
“Your daughter... You know what? I’m not even gonna justify that with an answer. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” I heard a click, then a dial tone.
I sat on the sofa bed and wiped away tears until Val walked in the room wearing my Alpha Phi Alpha sweatshirt. She sat cross-legged on the other end of the bed without a word. I looked over at her and could see her dark blue panties clear as day. The effects of the alcohol had worn off after my conversation with Lisa, so I had no problem telling her to close her legs.
“Everything okay?” She looked sad as if she could feel my pain.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” I grabbed one of the sofa cushions and laid my head on it.
“Yeah, that’s the same way I felt when me and Terrance broke up.”
“You
still love him, don’t ya?”
“Yeah, I can’t help myself But I’m not gonna let him play me no more. That nigga’s worse than your friend Jay.”
“I doubt it. You don’t know Jay.” I laughed. So did she. I think we both needed to laugh. “What’s up, Val?”
“What’s up with what?”
“Why’d you volunteer to drive me home? You could have just as easily put me in a cab.”
She looked sad as she spoke. “I don’t know. I just didn’t wanna go home to an empty apartment.”
“So you decided to come over here to push up on me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, Kyle. If I wasn’t on my period, I would never have come over here.” Oh, now that was a slap in the face. No woman would say that to a man she was tryin’ to get with.
“So why me? Why of all people did you pick me to hang out with?”
“ ’Cause you’ve always been my friend. And no matter what, you’ve always been respectful. For some reason, even drunk I trust you more than I would anyone else.”
“So you just wanna be friends?”
“Yep, for now just friends is all I can handle. But who knows what the future holds.”
Val was right. Friendship was about all I could probably handle at this point, too. I slept on the couch, hoping that in the morning I would have some clue about what to do with my crumbling marriage.
16
Allen
Beep! Beep! Beep!
I looked down at my beeper and read the numbers. Not that I had to. I already knew who was beeping me before I looked down. 911 69. That was Rose’s code for, Where the hell are you and how come you didn ’t call me the first time I beeped you?
Like an idiot, I’d given Rose my cell phone, so there was no way I could have called her back the first time. Now I was standing in front of her house as I got her second page, and of course, that meant as soon as I got inside, I’d have to hear her mouth. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with her bullshit tonight. I’d just finished up a thirteen-hour workday, five of which were tedious, number-crunching overtime. All I wanted was to get in the house, put on my pajamas, cook the steak I’d left marinating in Ma’s secret recipe all day, and have a quickie with Rose before I went to sleep.
But the chance of that happening was slim to none, ’cause Rose was probably gonna be ranting and raving the minute I walked in the door. She hadn’t let up about me putting her name on my checking and savings account for almost two months. I think the fact that I hadn’t given in yet was really getting on her nerves, ’cause she’d stopped having sex with me about two weeks ago. So far I’d been strong. I hadn’t given in, though the arguing and my horniness were sure wearing me down.
I cleared my head as I walked up the steps and opened the door, prepared for confrontation. To my total bewilderment, Rose greeted me at the door with a big smile and a kiss. This was definitely not what I had expected. And even more surprising was the fact that she was fully made up and wearing a tight-fitting outfit at eleven-thirty at night. By this hour she was usually ready for bed.
“Where were you?” she asked sweetly. “We’ve been waiting over three hours.”
“We?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Her nicey-nice attitude was so out of character it was making me nervous.
“Yes, we. Come on in the kitchen. I have someone I want you to meet.” I followed her into the kitchen and there, sitting at the table eating what looked like the steak I’d been craving for my dinner, was a very handsome, brown-skinned brother in a suit.
“Allen, this is Ray Johnson. Ray’s my cousin.” Ray looked reluctant to stand up to shake my hand. I don’t think he wanted to leave that steak. Why should he? That steak cost me ten bucks.
“How you doin’, Ray? That looks like a good steak you’re eatin’.” I extended my hand and tried to smile, but I was so hungry I wanted to grab what was left of that steak and eat it caveman-style.
“Man, this is the best steak I’ve ever had. It’s like butter. The damn thing just melts in your mouth.” He shoved another piece of steak in his mouth before he extended his hand.
“I thought I’d met all of Rose’s family. I didn’t know she had any Johnsons in her family.” I tightened my grip around Ray’s hand.
“Ohhh, ah, Ray’s my cousin from marriage. It’s kind of complicated,” Rose replied with a hint of worry in her voice.
“Yeah, real complicated,” Ray smirked.
I let my eyes tell him I didn’t trust him. Rose gently touched my hand, reminding me I was still crunching Ray’s. I let go of his hand and watched him sit back down to eat my steak. My stomach growled for everyone to hear. I rolled my eyes at Rose then glanced at my watch. It was 11:41 P.M.
“So, Ray, what brings you by at such a late hour?”
“I asked him to come by, Allen,” Rose said excitedly. “Ray knows a lot of insurance agents.” She said it as if it was supposed to mean something to me.
“I’ happy for him. That still doesn’t explain why Ray’s here at damn near midnight eating what should be my dinner.” I know I was being rude and obnoxious, but the guy was eating my steak. I faked a smile, trying to defuse my last comment. “No offense, cuz.”
“None taken, Albert.”
“The name’s Allen,” I corrected him through clenched teeth.
“Oh, sorry.” He smiled and made sure I was watching as he shoved the last of my steak in his mouth. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good time, Rose.”
“Maybe you’re right, Ray. Allen’s a little hungry. I’m gonna fix him some bacon and eggs then the two of us will talk.”
Inside I wanted to scream. She was gonna fix me some bacon and eggs after he just got finished eating my steak. I wasn’t one to argue, but she was gonna get a piece of my mind the minute he walked out the door. Ray picked up his briefcase and stood, kissing Rose on the cheek as his free hand brushed against her hip. “You’ve got a fine woman here, Allen. Don’t blow it. There’s plenty of brothers who’d love to get with her.” He smiled at Rose then winked at me as his hand came dangerously close to copping a feel. I grabbed Rose’s arm, pulling her closer to me.
“I know you two have a lot to talk about, so I’ll see my way out.” I watched Ray walk out of the kitchen. I was prepared to grill her about whatever had just happened, but before I could say a word, Rose was in my face.
“How could you embarrass me like that?” she screamed.
“Embarrass you? I just watched him eat my dinner. No man is supposed to come home to that shit!”
“Well, if you had brought your ass home at eight like you’re supposed to, it would have been you eating that steak.” She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows like she thought her reasoning was perfectly logical. So much for treating your man with respect.
“Home like I’m supposed to? Hold up, you’re the one who said I should work as much overtime as possible before the wedding.”
“I didn’t tell you to work overtime tonight. We were supposed to be discussing adding my name to your accounts over dinner tonight. Remember?”
Oh, I remembered all right. That’s why I had volunteered to do overtime. I figured by the time I got to her place, Rose would be too tired to argue. I was wrong about that.
“Look, Rose, it’s late and I haven’t had a thing to eat since lunch.” I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out the peanut butter and jelly. “I really don’t feel like arguing about adding you to my accounts right now. So I’m gonna tell you this, and it’s going to be final or we can call the whole damn wedding off. The day we go to the bank and add my name to your accounts is the day I’ll add you to mine.”
“Okay, Allen.” Her voice was so sweet it scared me. “Why don’t we do it tomorrow?”
“Huh?” I couldn’t believe it. “Did you say why don’t we do it tomorrow?”
“Yes, if that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah, it’s okay.” My voice was calm, but I was worried. She’d given in way too easy. I’m not gonna lie—
the thought that she might have cleaned out her accounts did cross my mind.
“Why don’t you go and watch the game on ESPN in the living room while I fix you something to eat?” Yep, something was up. She never volunteered to cook.
So I settled in front of the TV and waited while my woman cooked. After a few minutes I realized I had not even asked Rose for an explanation of this Ray character and his mysterious presence at my dinner table. Once again, Rose had managed to take control of our discussion. She definitely followed the strike-first tactic. She was in my shit so fast about coming home late that I totally forgot to ask her what the hell he was doing here. I think it was pretty obvious he wasn’t her cousin. Now I was just too tired to argue about it. It would have to wait.
Fifteen minutes later, Rose placed a tray of cheese eggs, sausage, bacon, and a side of pancakes in front of me. It wasn’t my steak, but it quieted down my growling stomach. After I ate, she crawled on top of me, wearing only her bathrobe.
“Allen,” she whispered.
“Yes, Rose,” I whispered back.
“You think your mother would like me more if I had a baby?” She kissed my neck.
“Would she. She’d probably have you nominated for sainthood. Why?”
“I don’t know, I was just thinking maybe we should make a baby tonight.”
“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows. “What’d you say?”
“I wanted to know if you’d like to work on making your mother a grandmother tonight.”
“Look, don’t be playin’ around like that. You know how much I wanna have kids. And don’t use my mother’s name to get to me tonight.”
“I’m not playin’, Allen.” She pointed toward the kitchen. “Go look in the kitchen and see for yourself. I threw all the condoms away.”
I got up and walked into the kitchen to look in the trash. To my surprise, she wasn’t lying. All the condoms we had were in there. But that wasn’t enough proof for me. I walked back in the living room still wary that she might be up to something. As much as I loved Rose, she could be as slick as they come.