by Morgan Black
A walk. A walk with Slade Finnegan. That was about the last thing I wanted to do, but as I looked over my shoulder Zoe was preoccupied with her new girlfriend and I was alone.
“I'm not going far with you Slade.”
“That's what you said last time.”
His green eyes sparkled just before he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the bar and out the back door. There were some people still partying on the beach but it had become brisk outside, so many people had moved into the hot club.
I followed him for minutes in silence until I couldn't hear the whispers of the crowd anymore. Slade was taking me somewhere to be alone, and alone with Slade was never a good idea for me. I stopped and took my shoes off and stood looking out over the calm water. “What do you want, Slade?”
He was ahead of me and as I brushed the sand off my shoes he turned around and picked me up under my arms and was kissing me, full of lust and need. I tried to catch my breath and pull away, but his hold on me was too strong. When he let go and set me back on the sand, I slapped him across the face.
“What the hell was that for? I haven't seen you in four years and you kiss me? What do you think this is?”
Try I picked up a handful of sand and threw it in his face. I was so angry that he thought he could treat me this way. But as I watched him brush the sand away from his eyes with his face contorted in anger, I realized that the way we had left things, he thought he could have me whenever he wanted me.
I moved away from him and sat on a rock looking out over the water, and I thought back to that night. The night my father took the brown suitcase and moved out.
8
December, 2011
“Why the hell won’t he answer his phone? I just don't want to be in this house right now!” I looked at Kenzie sitting on her bed, not moving. She was devastated, and so was I. All that I wanted was to see Blake, so he could hold me in his arms and keep my heart from falling out of my chest. My family was falling apart. And my boyfriend was nowhere to be found.
“Kenz. Kenzie, look at me.” Tears streamed down her face as she turned her head slowly to look into my eyes. “I gotta get out here. I can't stay in this house for one more second. I'm going to go over to sleep at Blake’s. Do you want to come with me? Or I could take you to a friend’s house. Whatever you want.”
She just shook her head and picked up a pillow. She turned over on her bed and closed her eyes. I guessed that she was hoping she could shut out the world around her. I grabbed my keys and flew down the stairs. I could hear my mother calling after me, but I couldn't deal with her right now. After watching Dad’s back as he said that woman's name, I just needed some time to myself.
I drove fast— too fast—and when my wheels spun out, I almost hit a tree near the water. I put my car in park and allowed the tears to completely overtake my vision. My family was no longer a family. My life was over. I considered for a moment allowing the tears to continue and just stay in my car, but I needed some time before I could see Blake. I turned my car towards Slade’s empty apartment. I could sit on the beach and pull myself together. At least I had a plan.
I knew no one would be there because of the mold, but I hoped it would give me a chance to clear my head. Some time on my own. Then I would go to Blake's house and let him love me and heal my fresh wounds. I hated the taste of the salty tears in my mouth and I rubbed my eyes with my hands to rid my face of them.
I pulled up to Slade's apartment, and although there were work trucks there I didn't hear any sounds. I walked around back to the beach and sat down on a rickety bench near the bonfire pit in the dimming light. I pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my large sweatshirt around them. It was cold, colder than I expected it to be. But it was only a week before Christmas. A week before Christmas, that's when my parents decided to implode our family. Great choice.
I sat there in the moonlight rocking back and forth, watching the slow lapping water on the beach and trying to calm myself. I didn't want to be this much of the mess in front of Blake. I heard the snap of a twig behind me and I jumped, startled.
“It's just me, it's Slade. I thought I heard someone crying.”
I put my head back down in my sweatshirt to wipe my tears with my sleeves. “It's just me.”
He strolled over and sat down next to the bench, “Lena what's the matter? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing. You always seem to be where I don't want you to be today.”
I know that he had some witty come back sitting on the edge of his tongue but he could tell I was too upset for his humor.
“Lena, what happened? What's going on?”
“Everything is so messed up! My dad moved out today. He was with another woman! My whole family is falling apart!” I shook my head back and forth trying to release the image of my father's back towards my mother and me, sitting crying on the floor.
“Wow, I’m sorry.” Slade wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his strong chest. I had thought that only Blake’s arms would save me, but Slade’s felt just as good. I chewed my lower lip as he softly touched my hair. When I went to wipe my tears I looked up at him and for a moment our eyes met. There was a magnetism that neither of us could deny. I looked away, back out over the water. As much as I wanted to be touched right now, Slade shouldn’t be the guy to do it. I was with Blake, his younger brother, I couldn’t do that to either of them. It wouldn’t be fair, would it?
I looked up at him a second time and was surprised to see his green eyes still gazing down at me. He leaned down and kissed me. I wanted to protest, but I fell into him, allowing him to take me. He kissed me hard and fast, pushing all the other emotions out of my brain. There was nothing else in there but Slade, just me and Slade on the beach. He nibbled on my lower lip and pulled me on top of him. He laid down on the bench and I straddled him. I needed a distraction, and Slade was exactly the type of distraction I needed. I whipped off my sweatshirt, revealing a lacy black bra. Slade fondled my breasts in his large hands. He reached around my back to undo the clasp. My teeth started chattering from both the excitement and the cold.
“I know a place where you won’t be so cold. Come with me.” He turned his body so that his feet were touching the sand and he lifted me up and carried me over to a pavilion that he had built last year. He laid me down on the floor and turned on one of the heaters. Instantly I was hot. He looked at me, admiring my breasts with the rise and fall of my chest. He laid on top of me and looked into my eyes before his mouth dove into my skin. He ran his fingers along my dark hair, tugging on it lightly while he spoke into my ear, “I wanted to fuck you since the minute I met you. And now that I have my chance I'm going do it until you're sore.”
I nodded against his thick frame. I could already feel the heat spreading from my pussy up throughout my body. I spread my legs further as he rubbed his hard dick against me through our pants. He moved down my body to my breasts, kissing around my nipples. But once he reached my right nipple he latched on, grazing his teeth back and forth over my flesh. It hurt, but I liked it. He continued down my body and removed my sweat pants and underwear. I was naked on the pavilion floor. The cold cement grounded me; without it I felt like I would just float away. He took his finger and dragged it down the length of my body, stopping just as he reached my pussy. He drew small circles around my clit, teasing me. Making me want more. Small light circles increasing in speed as his fingers found my hole. They pumped in an out slowly. Slade was still teasing me.
As I closed my eyes and moaned I felt another sensation. I opened them again to see his tongue reaching into the folds of my pussy, my juices dribbling down his chin. He kissed the inside of my thighs and then moved out back to my clit. He wrapped his lips around it and sucked lightly. He flicked his tongue against it, making me tremble. He pulled back for air and said, “I knew you would taste sweet.”
“You stay there,” he instructed. He stood up, knowing that I would have to watch him and not be
able to touch without moving. And I wouldn't move, he was sure of that. He took off his shirt, revealing his large chest and a defined six pack. He was hard everywhere a man should be. He pulled down his pants, revealing the erection that was ready to be inside me.
“Turn over,” he commanded. I did as I was told and I pushed my ass up in the air so that he would have ample access. He put his knees around mine and I felt his dick push into the folds of my pussy. I arched my back for better access and he took a handful of my hair, pulling me up so that I was on my hands. He slapped my ass with his free hand but he didn’t thrust. I was aching for some momentum.
“Fuck me,” I said quietly.
He leaned down and whispered into my ear, “You're going to have to do better than that. Tell me how you want it.”
I took a deep breath trying to steady myself. “Fuck me Slade. Fuck me hard till I come.”
He squeezed my breast with his left hand before allowing it to travel down to my pussy. Using his hand he pushed me back against him and began to pump in and out of me while his fingers worked furiously. He continued to hold me up by my hair and I struggled to breathe. He pumped me hard, filling me completely with his cock. My ass bounced against him as he pushed in deeper each time. I felt warmth spreading up through my body as sweat began to bead on my forehead. It didn't take long for my body to explode and I felt the waves of orgasm coming up from the pit of my stomach. I cried out as I came.
“You want more?” He growled, tempting me.
My pussy knew the answer before my mouth could find the words. “Yes.”
“Then show me. On your back, and spread your legs wide.”
I did as I was told and pushed myself up on my elbows so I could watch. He slapped his cock against my wet pussy before dipping it inside. Slowly he pushed in and then pulled back out. I lifted my hips hoping he would stay inside the second time, but again he pushed all the way to my G spot and then pulled back out. I let out an exasperated sigh.
He gave me an arrogant smile. “You want it don’t you?”
I nodded.
He leaned down over me and grabbed my throat, “Tell me.”
“I want it. Put your dick inside me. Make me come again.”
“Say please, you know I’ve always liked your manners.”
“Please Slade.”
He kept his hand on my throat and slipped his cock back inside me but this time he pushed it in deeper, harder than before. Picking up his pace he moved his hand to my shoulder and yanked me down onto his cock. My whole body moved under his strength and I slammed down on him again and again.
As I neared the edge I laid back on the floor and he put his hands around my thighs, thrusting himself into me. I shuddered and moaned as I felt my orgasm build. He let his head fall back as his seed shot inside me. He pumped just twice more, sending me over the edge. When he fell down on top of me I felt the heat roll off his body. I could see steam rising from the both of us. We breathed heavily, the only sounds on the air were our exhaustion and the soft lap of waves on the shore. After a few moments Slade spoke, still whispering in my ear.
“You can never tell anyone about this. It has to be our secret.”
“Why?”
“Because he would kill us.”
And that's when the shock hit me in my chest. Blake. The only thing that I thought about for the past hour was Slade and fucking. But the realization hit me and knocked the wind out of my chest. I attempted to scramble out from under Slade as I fought for air. I pushed him off me and grabbed my clothes.
My family had fallen apart. I had just slept with my boyfriend's brother. My world was over.
It was time to run away.
9
June, 2014
That had been three years ago, and I here I was, sitting on a rock back in Fayette alone with Slade again.
“What the fuck, Lena?”
I shook my head out of my memories. “What, Slade?”
He stared at me with wild eyes. “Why did you just do that?”
“Because Slade, I never should have slept with you that night!” I stood up and stomped over to him. “Because I was upset and you took advantage of the vulnerable state I was in! Because you’re an asshole.”
“What? You wanted me to sleep with you! You were all over me!”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever Slade, just stay away from me okay?”
He laughed. “Yeah right, like you won’t come back for more. Don’t tell me that wasn’t the best fuck of your life.”
A tingle went up my spine as I thought about his hips and cock pumping into me. I had to admit he had a point there.
I shook my head. “I have to go.”
I pushed my way around him and started to make my way back to the party. I needed to find Zoe and get the hell out of here. But as I tried to put my shoes on while walking back, I saw a solitary figure standing close by.
When I reached the stranger I shut my eyes in frustration.
Blake.
Who, by the look of disgust on his face, had just heard everything.
Fuck.
###
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The End of You
A Single Lady Spy Series Novella
Tara Brown
Greed.
Five simple little letters that can mean many different breeds of sin.
There is gluttony and voracity. There’s financial greed. There’s the need to own people, places, and things.
To me the worst kind of sin committed in the name of greed is the one that leaves the hole inside of you bigger than when you started out. Because essentially greed is just that, an attempt at filling a void. We need more because we have less. We are less.
Chapter One
The dark of the night made it impossible to see what he was thinking. Coop paced, passing by the window and casting shadows about the room. I kept my breathing even and relaxed so he wouldn't know I saw him there. I could sense the end of us nearing. I could sense his thoughts straying to other women, younger women. I could feel every insecurity my dead husband lovingly bestowed upon me, lingering in the air with the man who had never given me a reason to doubt him.
But I did.
Not like a college girl doubts the feelings and affections of every boy she smiles at, but the way a woman doubts the man she loves because deep down she knows she doesn't love him as much as she should. It’s a dark place where she admits this to herself, deep in the recesses of her soul where she doesn't want to look. But experience and wisdom have taught her to know better.
Girls blame the guy, believing themselves in the right and screaming of the injustice. Women silently blame him and push away the obvious fact that it’s their own shortcoming.
There, in the dark room with the handsome young man pacing back and forth like a caged cat, I knew which one of us was to blame for the moment we were each wordlessly having.
The lights of the airport in Denver shone through the blackout curtains we didn't close all the way. They provided the dim light I needed to see the doubt on his face. The doubt I required to justify my desire to end things.
We had been playing at our secret agent—spy—lover—instant family roles long enough for all the dust to be settled. The dust unfortunately had been filtering out the important things, blocking them out so we might be fooled by the lack of clarity. But there in the dark room I believed we both saw it for what it was.
I was a single woman, desperate to fill the void my husband’s many betrayals had created. I was a single mom, even more desperate to not to be parenting in the world alone. And lastly, I was a broken woman struggling with the possibility I had caused my husband to stray because there was nothing desirable about me.
Coop healed all those places. He loved my kids. He made me feel beautiful. He made us all feel safe. Something we hadn’t felt in a long time. We weren’t alone with him, none of us. He slipped into the holes, like plaster filling them up and patching the cracks.
And the worst part of it all was that I had let him.
I had been selfish and greedy enough in my desire to be normal again that I forgot the one sacred rule about relationships. That one special thing that will always find a way—love.
He continued to pace, pausing in the window. His stomach was flexed, making me wish I could push it all away—all the doubts and worries about us and the lack of love I feared I felt for him. The lust could be enough if I let it.
I closed my eyes, letting myself believe that was a better option. Lust could turn to love. I could let it.
Somehow I slept with that as a blanket tucking me in and telling me to sleep, like my mother had when I was a girl.
I woke to Coop staring at me from the chair across the room. He was dressed and ready to catch our flight to England. I rubbed my eyes, praying the stone-cold expression upon his beautiful face was caused by the sleep in my eyes. But when I blinked it was still there, the awkward stillness in him from the night before with the pacing.
“I think you should go home.” Finally, he had spoken the words I could tell he was thinking, only they weren’t what I expected.
I cocked an eyebrow, confused and too tired to actually fight about whether we should both be on a mission with the kids at home with my mother and Fitz.
He lifted a hand, holding off the argument I was brewing in my still foggy brain. “I think you should go home and try to keep some sense of normalcy. Luce and Jack are coming. We are meeting Servario in Dubai. I think you should let us take care of this.” Luce and Jack were our partners, people we trusted with our lives and those of the people we loved the most—my kids.