by Morgan Black
“What?” I say.
Her cheeks turn red as a beet as she points behind me.
“Jaret Paxon.” The way the maid says my name makes me swallow my breath. Oh crap, I’m in trouble now.
***
Present
Just thinking about her makes me wonder what the hell happened. To her, and me, and … us. She was always there, but could barely hang out with me, except when her parents would allow her a short break. Her parents worked in our kitchen as chefs. God, I was so young back then, I didn’t even notice there was a difference in what was allowed and what was not. My parents were never there, so they loaded me with gifts and made me a spoiled brat. Her parents were always there, looming over her shoulder, telling her what was appropriate and how their girl should behave. Lin was always ashamed of being careless, something I’d grown accustomed to. But now … fuck, how could she have a job at a fucking strip club? That is so unlike her. Something must be wrong. I wish I’d known about her troubles sooner. I could’ve done something about it.
I take a sip of my Coke and look around the club. People are cheering like crazy, throwing their snacks to the ring. My friend Hunter is fighting a fierce opponent, one with sneaky tendencies, but I’m sure he’ll win. The guy is already bleeding profusely from his mouth and nose, while Hunter is still standing strong, shuffling on his feet. Yep, he’s a true favorite of the crowd. But fuck me, I wish they’d stop making so much noise. My head hurts. Fuck hangovers. I should’ve thought better than to drown myself in alcohol last night. And I only did it because I saw her …
“You look like you drank a few gallons last night.”
“Jessie!”
I turn my head and see Jessie, Hunter’s brother, being punched in the shoulder by Autumn, Hunter’s girlfriend. They sit down beside me on the benches. They’ve been watching him from the sidelines all this time, and I wish they’d stayed there. I’m not up for talking.
Jessie slaps me on the back. “Bro, you all right?”
“Fine.”
“You seem a little down,” Autumn states.
“Go figure.”
Jessie frowns and smiles at the same time. “I smell a tiny white lie.”
“Jessie … leave him alone. He doesn’t want to talk,” Autumn says.
“Ding, ding, ding, ding,” I reply, twirling my finger in the air.
Jessie squeezes my shoulder. “Dude, whatever it is, talking about it is better than bottling it up.”
I laugh. “Now you almost sound like me.”
“I know, I learned it from the best.” He winks.
I sigh.
“Lemme guess … it’s about a chick?”
“And how did you come to that conclusion?” I ask.
“Ah, well with you there’s not much else it can be.”
Autumn smacks him on the head with her bottle of water. “Stop teasing him.”
“But I’m right, aren’t I?”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”
“See! I knew it. Got into trouble again?”
“That’s enough, Jessie. Hey, Jaret,” she leans forward, “if you wanna talk about it, you know … A girl knows a lot more about girls than boys ever will.”
Jessie laughs out loud. “You probably wouldn’t, in this case.”
She frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“The girls Jaret hangs with are a little … different.”
“Different?”
“Dude …” I say.
“What? It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
“What is?” Autumn asks.
Jessie turns his head toward her. “He’s a one night kind of guy. You know, random girls, no strings attached.”
I slam him in the shoulder and he winces. “Fuck, dude, you know I’m right.”
“Normally, yeah.”
“Normally? Every day.”
“Not now.” He gazes at me, confused, and I stare back at him while clenching my teeth. I’m really not in the mood to talk about her, but he can’t seem to let it rest. Then a devious smile spreads on his face.
“Oh …”
That doesn’t sound good.
“I’m not following at all,” Autumn says.
Jessie grins, which makes me think he knows what I mean. Shit. I turn my head away from him, taking a deep breath, and continue watching the game for some distraction.
“Hey, sorry, dude. I didn’t think it was actually a girl you’d … well, you know. Whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
“Oh, wait a minute … this is about Jaret having a girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I say, a little too bluntly.
“Oh, sorry,” Autumn says.
“No, never mind.” I shake my head. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want this to turn sour.”
“We don’t care.” Jessie pulls me closer, as well as Autumn, hugging us tight. “Friends don’t turn their backs on each other. We’re here to help you out if you need us.”
“Thanks.” I push myself away from him. “I appreciate it, but no need. I need to figure this out on my own.”
“We understand,” Autumn says, smiling.
The crowd goes mad with cheers as Hunter steps out of the cage, drawing all of the attention. Grabbing a towel from the stack, he walks over to us with a confident stride. He steps onto the bleachers, disregarding the fact that the fans are going crazy over him. He doesn’t seem to mind. His eyes are set on her. Autumn’s eyes light up like candles have been lit behind them. I admire the way they always lean toward each other’s presence. I’d consider myself lucky to have such a connection. Unfortunately, most chicks only go for my money or my dick. I’m only cool with the latter.
Hunter holds up his hand and gives me a bro shake. “Great job out there,” I say.
“Thanks. Couldn’t have done it without your support.”
I smile, not knowing what to say. Hunter cocks his head. “You okay?”
“Yeah …”
“Lovesick. He’s got the bugs,” Jessie jokes, and Autumn punches him in the side.
“Hmmm …” Hunter looks at me with squinted eyes. “I didn’t think you were the girlfriend type.”
“I’m not.”
Hunter shrugs. “Whatever works for you, dude. We’re here if you need us.”
He grabs Autumn by the waist, lifts her up from her seat, and firmly plants his lips on hers, claiming her as if he owns her … and she lets him. Jessie and I look at each other. I know we’re thinking the same thing; we’re freaking jealous, but hey, I guess they just got lucky.
I turn my head sideways, away from the lovebirds. And then I notice her standing there.
Lin.
My eyes widen. She’s right there, in the corner on the opposite side of the room. She stands next to a tall, masculine guy, who’s blowing off steam after the match he just had with Hunter. Oh, fuck no.
I shoot up from my seat, not caring to explain where I’m going before I storm off the bleachers. The guy standing next to her goes into the locker room. She tries to walk after him, but he slams the door behind her, leaving her behind. With her back against the wall, she gazes down at the floor. She’s alone. A perfect opportunity for me to take a chance and talk to her.
As I weave my way through the crowd, her eyes find me. They widen in shock, her jaw dropping as she freezes in place. She quickly shuts it again when I approach, licking her lips like she used to do when she was anxious. I never forgot about her little quirks.
“Hey, I can’t believe you’re here, too.”
“Me neither,” she says.
“You here with someone?”
“Yeah.”
I nod slowly. “That guy that was fighting with Hunter, huh?”
She nods and shrugs, tapping her foot. I clear my throat. What an awkward conversation.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“Uhm … yeah …” Her eyes skid across the premise.
“So listen,
about last night…”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She turns around and walks toward the exit. I follow her.
“Hey, wait up, please.” I come walking next to her. “Sorry, I didn’t want to make this uncomfortable. I just wanted to talk to you.”
“Oh, yeah? About what?”
“Well, maybe about the fact that I haven’t seen you in years, thinking you were off to boarding school and then college, but now I find you working at a strip club?”
She slaps her hand in front of my mouth, catching me off guard. “Shhh.” Her cheeks flush. “Do you want the entire fucking club to know?”
“No,” I mumble as I take her hand away. “Sorry, I’m just really confused right now.”
She frowns. “There’s nothing to be confused about.” She starts walking to the door again and I follow, intent on not letting her get away again.
“Stop, please. I want to talk about this.”
“Why? What does it matter?”
“It matters because we kissed by accident, and then you ran away. I want to know why.”
“Because it wasn’t supposed to happen.”
I snort. “Well that’s nice to hear.”
She sighs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Look, I have a boyfriend, all right?”
“Ah … I see.”
“Yeah … no, not really.”
“I’m attempting to figure out what you’re trying to tell me, but it’s kind of hard when you’re avoiding any conversations about your current situation.”
“No shit.” She shakes her head. “It’s just really hard right now, okay?” When she raises her head to look at me, her eyes are glass. Oh fuck no. This is not good.
“It was quite the surprise for me to see you at that club,” I say.
“I know, so let’s just forget about it and pretend we never saw each other.”
She tries to turn and walk away again. However, I grab her wrist and twist her around, stepping closer with a smile. “Give me one good reason why I would ever want to do that.”
She looks up at me with glossy parted lips. Her folded, dark eyes are so beautiful, so mesmerizing. I lean in, reducing the distance between us.
Cupping her chin with my index finger and thumb, I say, “After all of these years, I finally find you again, so I’m not letting you get away. Not without talking first.”
Instead of responding, she bites her lip. Such a tease. It makes my cock twitch. Fuck me, I never lost my attraction to her. All I’ve been doing is fucking other girls for the heck of it, just to forget about her, but she never really left my mind.
“I can’t.” She swallows.
A gasp leaves her mouth, and her eyes jerk away from mine, widening. My eyes follow hers, but not in time to avoid the huge fist landing on my jaw. An ‘oompf’ sound bursts from my lungs as I struggle to maintain my balance. Lin’s scream keeps me close and alert.
“No!” she yells, pushing me aside. A guy with muscles like a truck, facial hair, and a nipple piercing just pounded in on my face. What the fuck is wrong here?
“Stay the fuck away from my girl.” He points at me, pushing me back with his finger planted on my chest. I snort, taking in some much needed air to cool myself down. Lin is holding him back. She grabs his arm and jerks him away.
“Bobby, don’t,” she says, raising an eyebrow and lowering another.
“Yeah, dude, what the fuck is your problem?” I say.
“You. Now fuck off, you little shit.” He spits on the ground. “Unless you want to take me on in the ring.”
Suppressing a laugh, I shake my head. “I was only talking with her. Nothing else.”
She makes a face at me, mouthing to me to shut up.
“You don’t get to talk to her, you understand?” He steps forward again, trying to impress me. I’m rather amused by all this.
“Bobby, please.” She stands in front of him, putting up a pouty lip like she always used to do. Sneaky. I can see right through it, but it looks like the fucker is actually falling for it.
He lets out a huge sigh and rolls his eyes, then waves his hand and turns around. “I don’t need this shit right now.”
“Where are you going?”
“Party.”
Her jaw drops and she frowns. “What? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Nope.”
Right. I’m really not in the mood to hear a quarrel like this. Better get the fuck out of here before that shithead changes his mind. Of course, I could take him, but I’d rather not. I’d rather keep these hands clean so I can rub her with them later.
I know I’ll see her again. It’s not a question of if, but when. I could see it in her eyes. She’s just as eager to talk to me as I am … and more. When I touched her, her breathing stopped. I could feel her pulse quicken in her wrist. With those eyes of hers, she begged me to save her. I could see it.
Rubbing my jaw, I blow out some air and take one final look at her before I step out the rear exit. I could really use a smoke right now. Leaning against the wall, I take out my lighter and a blunt and put it in my mouth. Right after I light it, the door slams open. Lin steps out.
“I’m ready to talk.”
Chapter 3
Rolling the Dice
“Changed your mind?” I ask, taking a drag.
She walks toward me and snatches the blunt from my hand. Bringing it to her mouth, she takes a deep drag. Amazed, I stare at her with furrowed brows. I did not expect that.
“So Linny-prude crossed over to the dark side, huh?”
“I hate that nickname.”
“I know.” A cheeky smile curves my lips.
She rolls her eyes. “You never give up, do you?”
“No, not really. Especially not now that I’ve found you again.” I run my fingers through my hair. “Jesus, Lin. What are you doing working for Kitties Club?”
“I need the money.”
“For what?”
From the corner of her eyes, she watches me, blowing out the smoke from the joint. Then she hands it back to me. “Not your business.”
I frown. “Oh c’mon, you gotta give me more than that.”
She diverts her eyes, so I place my hand on the wall beside her and lean closer. “Lin …”
“Please don’t.” Her eyes are getting glazed again, tears welling up. Fuck no, is she really that deep in shit?
“Talk to me,” I say calmly.
She sniffs. “Bobby’s an asshole.”
I snort. “Yeah, tell me about it. Jealous son of a bitch.”
“He can’t handle me talking to anyone, but now he’s off clubbing with other girls.” Clenching her jaw, she swallows away the impending tears. “Fucking asshole.”
“If you know he is, why the hell are you with him?”
“Because …” She frowns, worry and fear shadowing her face, but she slams her lips shut. “Listen, Jaret, a lot of things have changed since I last saw you. Not everything is unicorns and butterflies.”
“I know that. You don’t have to tell me. I can see.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
Now tears have started running from her eyes. Fuck me, now I’ve gone and done it. There I go again with my stupid mouth.
Grabbing her shoulders, I slowly pull her toward me, wrapping her in my arms. She snivels against my shirt, her hands entwining behind my back as she lets it all out. “Fucking ass wipe he is!”
I hug her tight, letting her know I’m still here for her, even though we haven’t seen each other in years. Nothing will change the way I feel about her.
“Oh, Lin …” I mumble. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is,” I murmur, and she gazes up at me, her kissable lips tempting me. “I shouldn’t have let you go.”
She wrenches herself loose from my arms. “Please, don’t say that. I can’t.”
“What? Think about all of the shit we’ve gone thr
ough?”
She shakes her head. “You don’t know what it’s like, Jaret.”
“I do know. I’ve always known. You hate this.”
“I can’t do anything about it!”
“Your parents taught you to feel pride above everything else, and now you’ve lost it all. Just like I have.”
“Stop. Just stop. I don’t want to be reminded of it.”
She backs away slowly, but I step forward, grabbing her hands. “Listen, we can still fix it. I found you. We found each other. I don’t think that’s for nothing. There has to be a reason.”
She snorts. “That’s bullshit and you know that.”
“Who cares? Do you know what I’ve been doing for these past few years? Nothing. I fucked up college. I joined a fucking gang to sell drugs. Yeah, I was a dealer.” Her pupils enlarge with shock. “That’s all done, too. Now I’m nothing. A junky to random amusement and fucks. A clubber. A wanderer. I don’t do anything worthwhile. And you know what? I bet you know exactly what that feels like.”
She shakes her head, so I cup her face with my hands and look her straight in the eye. “Lin, don’t lie to me, and don’t lie to yourself. Remember how you used to feel about me and tell me you don’t feel it still. Because I do. I remember all of those times we played together, the times we bothered your parents in the kitchen at my house, the times we messed with the food they prepared and how my parents spit it out. All of the parties we went to, the time we spent together in high school, and during camp. God, I keep thinking about all of the things we did together. It’s what keeps me alive, Lin. Us, going to the school dance together, our first kiss—”
She places a finger on my lips. “Shhh …”
It takes all of my willpower to hold myself back; not to purse my lips and kiss the tip of her precious finger. God, she still looks just as amazing, if not more. “Lin … please, tell me why. What happened to you? All I remember is you getting sent off to a boarding school, and then that was it. Until I saw you at Kitties.”