Always You

by Stephanie Rose

  “Pants off, Lucas. Now.” I laughed as she pulled down my jeans.

  “Your wish is my command—”

  “Mommy! Darth Vader is in my room.”

  Sam jumped off the counter and scooped her clothes off the floor.

  I let out a frustrated groan as I squatted to ride out the worst case of blue balls I’d probably ever had. “Is it bad to want to beat the shit out of a ten-year-old boy? She’s not allowed to watch anything other than Disney movies or cartoons.”

  “I’ll be right in, Bella!” Sam couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently, she thought watching me uncomfortable and frustrated was the funniest thing in the world. Finally, she sobered. “I’ll be right back. Think you can stay the night?”

  “I think I can manage that.” I stood, pulled her close and licked the seam of her lips. I did it again and when she tried to kiss me, I pulled back.

  “See, you’re not the only one who can tease,” I slapped her on the ass and she jumped. “Go! I’ll be here when you get back.”

  She rushed upstairs to Bella’s room and I picked up the mess from the dishes she dropped. I wanted Sam so much. I wanted a life with her, and didn’t want to only stay the night. As far as I was concerned, she was mine and my heart was all hers.

  But the fucking state of New York said she was still his.

  Lucas loved me. I still couldn’t believe it. Last night I got Bella back to sleep and we finished what we started in the kitchen—twice. I couldn’t remember ever being as content or happy as I was in that moment. Bella loved Lucas too, and it was so great to watch them together. I didn’t feel weird or guilty that she would find him still here when she woke up. He was still asleep beside me, his arm wrapped around my waist like ivy. I snuggled closer into his chest and he pulled me towards him.

  “Good morning, Sam. I think I created a sex monster. You still want more?”

  “I was trying to cuddle. I wouldn’t want to tire out a man your age.” It was always so easy to bait him. He rolled until he was on top of me.

  “Does this feel like I’m tired out?” Lucas was definitely sporting morning wood, and when he ground it against me I let out an involuntary moan.

  “Ha, that’s what I thought.” He trailed his tongue across my collarbone, over my breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and gently biting it. It would be so nice to wake up to that every day.

  The phone rang, and it was too early to be anything but bad news. I looked at the caller ID and it was an area code I didn’t recognize. I reached over to pick it up, a thousand scenarios going through my head to justify a call this early on a Sunday morning.

  “Hello?”

  “You miserable, fucking whore.”

  Marc. My guess was he talked to Carmine. I was a bit disappointed; the deli incident was a couple of weeks ago, so Carmine missed a step. I had expected this call the following morning.

  “Wow, I haven’t spoken to you in months and the first thing you say is ‘you miserable fucking whore?’

  “What?! Who is that?” Lucas sat straight up and grabbed for the phone, but I waved him off. This was my fight and he didn’t need to be involved. I mouthed Marc and his jaw clenched.

  “Hang up!” Lucas told me through gritted teeth.

  “Well, what do you call it when your wife is making out on top of a guy in a deli in the middle of the afternoon? And of all people, you’re fucking Lucas Hunter? You always had a thing for pretty boy, so I shouldn’t be surprised.” Carmine may be late, but at least he was accurate.

  “We’re getting divorced. You were served with separation papers months ago that you never signed. I changed the locks and took all your clothes to your parents’ house. This isn’t your home anymore and I’m not your wife—so who I spend my time with is none of your business.”

  “Oh Jesus, another tantrum when you get your panties twisted. Look, for now I’ll accept you were lonely and always wanted to screw this guy. Stop it, and we’ll talk when I get home.”

  I think I saw red, or looked like those cartoons where smoke billows out of a person’s ears. Going to a lawyer and drawing up separation papers was me having a tantrum? Even now, he didn’t take me seriously.

  “Marc, there is nothing to talk about, I’m in love with someone else. There is nothing to come back to. You don’t call to speak to your daughter, and you obviously can’t stand me. Why the hell would you come back? You never wanted to be here and aren’t wanted here! This isn’t your home anymore.”

  Marc let out a long sigh. I could picture him rolling his eyes like he usually did.

  “I won’t have you all over this guy in public, embarrassing me. You know the shit I had to deal with from the guys after Carmine told Rick what happened. How fucking dare you act like this while I’m away! Stop acting like a whore and remember you’re still my wife. I don’t want him at my house either.”

  “How dare I act like this? We aren’t married, and really haven’t been for a long time. Sign the fucking papers and you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”

  The maniacal laugh I heard on the other end of the line made my stomach turn. And here was the shitstorm I was expecting.

  “Fuck you, Samantha. I’m not signing shit. For what? So you can play house with pretty boy?”

  I ran my hands through my hair, wanting to yank it out. Marc didn’t love me, but now that people knew I’d moved on, he was embarrassed and wanted to spite me. I chuckled at the fucked-up-ness that was my life.

  “You don’t live here, and I’ve been paying the mortgage on my own for a very long time. What the hell makes you think you can have any say in what I do or who I’m with in my own fucking house? You have no right to call me a whore!”

  “Give me the goddamn phone!” Lucas yelled as he yanked the phone out of my hands.

  “Listen to me, you fucking asshole. If you ever call her a whore again, I will beat the shit out of you like I should’ve done when you were a punk back in college.” He hung up and threw the phone across the bed.

  “There has to be something I can do—go around him somehow. I’ll call Robyn and figure out something. He’s not bullying his way back home or into my life because he’s fucking embarrassed.” I tried to get a hold on my anger. Marc would not get the best of me.

  “You can always move, you know.” I could tell Lucas hated being in this house, knowing I lived here with Marc, but I wasn’t going to be intimidated out of my own home.

  “This house is mine. There has to be a way to get his name off of it. I know Robyn; I’ll tell her to figure something out and she will. I can’t let him get to me.”

  “I meant what I said. I will knock his teeth down his throat if he ever calls you a whore or talks to you like that around me again.” I loved when alpha Lucas came out—the hot, possessive way he would take his claim and protect me made me fall for him over and over again.

  We would get through this. We loved each other, and I wasn’t going to let Marc’s attempt to punish me ruin any of that.

  “I know. And I can’t tell you how unbelievably hot that makes me…like really, really hot.” I trailed my eyes up and down his body and licked my lips.

  Lucas raised his eyebrows and moved closer to me on the bed. “How hot? Tell me.”

  I pushed Lucas back so he was laying down. My lips began their descent down his chest, nipping at his abs as I got lower. Lucas moaned and grabbed my hair, pulling a little harder as I worked my way down.

  “Mommy!”

  “She’s got great timing, doesn’t she?” Lucas shook his head and laughed.

  “She’s up extra early today too, the phone must’ve woken her up or she must somehow know you’re still here. Want some breakfast?”

  “I can make us all breakfast. You have the stuff for French toast, right? Or does Rachael Ray not use bread or eggs in her recipe?”

  I threw a pillow at him. “Yes, I have the stuff for French toast, jerk.”

  Lucas laughed at me as he put on his T-shirt and jeans from last n
ight.

  “Hey, Lucas?” He turned to look at me as he was leaving the bedroom. “I love you.”

  A slow smile spread across Lucas’s face. He strode back over to me and bent over the bed to kiss me.

  “I love you too, Sam. So much it makes me a little crazy.” He gave me another soft kiss and walked out the room, yelling Bella’s name.

  Summer seemed to fly by. Lucas, Bella and I became our own version of The Three Musketeers. Lucas would come home from work with me on Friday and spend the entire weekend with us. We’d go to the zoo, the beach, and even went away on a long weekend to Lake George. It had been just Bella and I for a long time, way before Marc and I officially separated, but having Lucas with us never felt weird at all. It actually felt very right. After seven months it felt like he’d always been here. I didn’t like remembering how life used to be without him.

  After that one phone call, I realized Marc wasn’t planning to sign a thing. Robyn said we could go another route. On the grounds of abandonment—since technically Marc left and worked out of state—she could draw up divorce papers. And if he still didn’t respond by then, after a certain amount of time she could make an affidavit and process the divorce without him. We both agreed it was better not to badger him at this point, and to make it work to our advantage that he was completely ignoring me. I tried to get it out of my head, as I was worried about enough today.

  “Should be a good day, it’ll be just us so we’ll have the pool all to ourselves.” Lucas’s mother asked us to her house for a Labor Day barbecue, and he was excited to take us there.

  “Yeah, hopefully.” I stared out the window as Lucas drove us upstate. I’d known Lucas’s mother and his sister, Jessica, for years from being friends with Daina. I even used to call his mother “Aunt Jenn.”

  “Stop being nervous. It’s not like you haven’t known them all these years. They’ve always liked you, and now they’ll love you like I do.” Lucas grabbed my hand and ran his thumb along my wrist as he was driving.

  “I’m not just ‘Daina’s friend’ anymore. I’m your girlfriend.” I also had a daughter from a marriage I couldn’t quite call previous yet. Whether they knew me or not, I hoped they weren’t put off by the obvious baggage I brought into this relationship.

  Lucas’s father died when he was young, leaving Lucas as part of a little family of three. Lucas was the oldest, but was babied by both of them.

  Lucas had tried to teach Bella how to swim all summer. She was still a little frightened but Lucas assured her it would be only us today in his mom’s huge in-ground pool and he would be right there the whole time, as usual. He was so good with her, knowing how to encourage her without pushing, and never becoming annoyed if she got scared. In the short amount of time Marc spent with Bella, he never had any patience for her. Lucas was always exactly what both of us needed.

  We arrived at Jenn’s huge house and walked around to the back.

  “Hey, guys! I wondered when you’d get here.” She gave Lucas a big hug and he twirled her around. She was a little bit of a thing next to her son’s over six feet of height.

  “Traffic was miserable, as usual.” He turned toward Bella and me and said, “You remember my girls, right?” His girls. He’d started calling us that on our mini-vacation and I loved it.

  “Yes, of course I do!” Jenn walked over to give me a big hug. “I’m so glad my son finally brought you up to see us. You look beautiful, but you always were such a pretty girl. Probably one of the reasons Lucas doesn’t stop talking about you.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Jenn seemed happy to see me and have us here.

  Jenn knelt down in front of Bella, who now held onto Lucas’s leg when she got shy. “The last time I saw you, you were a little baby. Lucas talks about you a lot, too.” Bella peeked out from behind Lucas and spoke a barely audible “hi.”

  “Lucas told me to blow up all the rafts since you guys would be swimming today.” Bella peeked out over Jenn’s shoulder at the pool in the back, and then looked up at Lucas.

  “We can go in now if you want.” Lucas gave her a big smile and she nodded.

  “Hey, big brother!” Jessica rushed over to Lucas. She looked just like her brother. Her hair was a darker brown, but she was still a knockout—same light blue eyes and perfect features. Lucas pulled her into a big hug. Jessica turned to Bella and me and gave us a small, somewhat forced, smile.

  “Hey Samantha, glad you could make it. Bella, you’ve gotten so big since I last saw you. You definitely are mommy’s mini-me. Lucas never shuts up about either one of you.” I could’ve sworn that I saw her eyes roll. Jessica was never as warm as Lucas and Jenn were, but something was off with her today. Lucas went back to helping Bella put on her water wings and took us both by the hand over to the pool. I told myself I was reading into it and tried to relax by the pool.

  Lucas hopped in the water and stretched his arms out for Bella to swim to him.

  “Come on, Butterfly! You can do this.” She had the cutest look of determination on her face as she dog paddled over to him. She reached Lucas’s arms and he picked her up out of the water.

  “See, Butterfly? I told you that you could do it!” Bella beamed over at me.

  “Did you see me, Mommy? Can I take off my water wings?” Lucas raised his eyebrows at me and I reluctantly nodded. That made me a little nervous but Lucas would never let anything happen to her. It was wonderful seeing my daughter having fun and learning not to be so shy or afraid. Lucas would make the best dad. I got a sudden shiver thinking of having babies with Lucas in the future, but I stopped myself from daydreaming. My divorce from Marc needed to be final before we made any real plans together.

  Jenn called us out of the pool to eat when she was done grilling. Lucas handed Bella to me to dry her off and put her cover up on. Lucas came up behind me and gave me a kiss on my neck.

  “You look so fucking sexy today. You’re driving me crazy.” he whispered in my ear. I had on a strapless one piece. Bathing suit season was hard when you were big chested, and I thought this one showed the least amount of boob for a day with my boyfriend’s family. I turned around, shaking my head at him.

  He wrapped his arms around me when I stood up, and gave me a light kiss on my lips. I gave him a look I hoped said “let’s not make out in front of everyone.” He held me tighter and buried his head in my neck to take a bite of my earlobe, making me giggle as I pushed him away. I stopped when I noticed Jessica glaring at us over Lucas’s shoulder. It was a concerned look, like she didn’t like what she saw.

  The rest of the day went by smoothly. When we were inside the house getting ready to leave, Jenn asked Bella if she wanted to check out the bunny rabbit next door. Next to butterflies, she loved bunnies so she happily went back into the yard.

  “I spoke to Daina last week. She said she met up with you guys in Lake George a couple of weeks ago.” Jessica hadn’t really spoken directly to me all day. I realized she and I were alone in the kitchen.

  “Yeah, we had so much fun! Little Jake is getting so big.”

  “She also told me Marc is refusing to sign the separation papers.” And here we go. I should learn to trust my instincts.

  “He’s being difficult, as usual. My lawyer says there are ways we can go around him to file for divorce if he doesn’t want to sign.”

  “But why is he being difficult? Sounds like he’s trying to hold on to you.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the stove. I was being interrogated.

  “Trust me, Jessica. There is nothing at all to hold on to. There is no way—in hell—I would ever get back with Marc. I’m in love with your brother. End of story.”

  I could have killed Daina. She didn’t mean any harm and was probably on a ‘Marc is an asshole’ rant, but right now it wasn’t making me look very good.

  Jessica huffed and shook her head. “Samantha, I like you. I really do. I don’t think you’d ever intentionally hurt Lucas, but this whole situation doesn’t sit right with me. He’s gotten too atta
ched to both of you. I saw it today. Every time I speak to him, it’s Sam this, Bella that. You’re not even legally separated yet. Don’t you think you should back off from my brother until whenever—or if—your marriage actually ends?”

  “Who the hell do you think you are to tell her to back off?”

  Lucas must have heard us talking and stormed into the kitchen toward his sister.

  “You don’t know anything about Sam’s marriage to Marc, or what we have together. I told you before, when it comes to us mind your own business! I love her, and she loves me, and that’s all you need to know.” So this wasn’t a new subject of discussion with them. Great. Exactly what I was afraid of.

  I was blind-sided, but I understood her. If Lucas were my brother, I’d be a little concerned about what he was getting himself into. Would I have sandbagged my brother’s girlfriend? Probably not. But I still couldn’t blame her for looking out for him.

  “Lucas, hey it’s fine,” I rubbed his arm, trying calm him down. “I get why she’s concerned—”

  “No, it is definitely not fucking fine. I haveo the car loaded. I’ll go out to get Bella because we’re leaving.”

  Jessica grabbed Lucas’s arm before he got to the door. She looked remorseful, and her voice came down an octave.

  “I’m sorry for upsetting you, Lucas. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

  “And I told you I know what I’m doing and to stay out of it.” He pushed past her and out the back door. Jessica put her head down and left the kitchen. I hated seeing a close family fighting because of me.

  Lucas didn’t say much in the car. We drove most of the way home in silence. Bella passed out by the time we left their driveway just as I expected after a busy day. We were almost home when I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

  “I know why your sister’s worried. I would be too, if you were my brother.”

  Lucas shrugged but still looked tense. “She’s a pain in the ass, but I know she thinks she’s looking out for me. I wish she would stay out of it.”