by Romi Hart
Scrambling to his feet, Cody looked at me accusingly. “I hope you’re satisfied. All you ever want to do is make me look foolish and now you’ve done it.”
Angelique examined his jaw carefully and rubbed the side of his face. It was beginning to swell. Hints of purple and blue were showing through the make-up. “I guess this ends it,” he said. “We didn’t plan for any of this.”
“Are you hurt bad?” Crooned Alice, taking a look at the damage.
“Such an animal,” said Larson with dismay. “I must remember the ferocity when we do the Beowulf try-outs.”
* * *
It put a cloud in our otherwise spotless day, but when we got home and told Keri about it, she laughed hard. I guess she felt vindicated for the shame Cody had brought her…and now us.
“It’s a good thing this all broke up early,” Larson decided. “That golden-haired snake was starting to get inside of you. We see it in your face sometimes.”
“It would have been a mistake,” agreed Alice. “He would never treat you right. His kind never do.”
Angelique dabbed at his face with a cold pack. “He’s a player, honey. If he hadn’t been so caught up in making his play, he would have realized he was asking for trouble by bringing along someone who has never been to the Lamplight. He wanted to look like the big cheese. He wasn’t thinking with his brain. He was thinking with his…”
“Yes, I know,” I interrupted. “But it was fun. I think I almost tamed him.”
Angelique gave an explosive “Ha! You’re delusional. All you did was dangle a reward for the good little wolf. No matter how long you keep it dangling, he expects to be rewarded. Once he is, he is back to being a wolf.”
Alice shrugged. “It doesn’t matter since he’s not going back to the Lamplight anyway. He was rather angry and we don’t like angry people.”
I didn’t argue. I waited until everyone had retired to bed, then joined Keri in her bedroom. I liked Keri’s room for girl sessions. Even though Keri didn’t stay there much, it’s where she stashed all her favorite childhood things. It was filled with anime dolls, stuffed animals, wall to wall posters, colorful pillows, incense burners in every shape and size and a cabinet filled with collectible china. It was the timeless essence of all things feminine.
I sat down on the bed and wrapped a pillow in front of me. “Now that you’re back in the band, are you and Jackie getting along?”
Keri sighed. She was dusting a few corners around her display cases but stopped to pull up an old-fashioned vanity chair and sit across from me.
“We’re not an item. It was never meant to be that way, but sometimes I need him. And he needs me. I suppose it’s kind of crazy when I can’t say it’s about love. Why should I care then, if I’m a pass-around girl? All our fights were because I was always looking at someone else. A lot of someone’s, really. But I do care, and I still cringe whenever I think about it.”
“You really think Cody is a bad guy? I mean…he didn’t take you to bed, right?”
“He isn’t really a bad guy, Diana,” she said cautiously. “That’s what makes it hard. He just listens to bad advice. He thinks he’s being cool by being a swinger and a charmer. And even though we didn’t have sex, he knew that I was really liking him. And he still played mind games with me.”
“Do you think he has a girl stashed away somewhere? A childhood sweetheart?”
“Maybe. What do your instincts tell you?”
“No. He doesn’t have one. Maybe he did when he first started his career, but he let her go. He’s flying solo and knows only one flight pattern. That’s what I think happened with Cody.”
“The others are right. You are falling for him, Diana. This is a good time to put an end to things before he breaks your heart too. Guys like that dump a girl after the first time they make love, you know.”
I laughed shamelessly, my voice freefalling and sucked into the music playing in the background. Hard rock with the volume turned down so that you mainly heard the vibrating thud of the bass section.
“I think the last time my heart got broken, I was twelve years old. A boy that borrowed my Coot Bandicoot game and never gave it back. I trusted him because my little heart thumped every time he came around, and he showed me how self-motivated boys are. If their hand is out, they want something, and it’s rarely something you wanted them to have.”
“I thought you told me once your brothers made him give the game back.”
“That’s just the point, you see. He didn’t give it back voluntarily. You have the power when they want to please you. Until then, you don’t open your heart.”
“Good advice. I’ll remember that with Jackie.”
“You should.”
I left, feeling I had put all my thoughts in order and my emotions away in tidy drawers. It was unfortunate that my relationship with Cody had broken off before I had fully examined its potential, but the others were probably right.
He lacked polish. He lacked sophistication. He was a blunt tool instead of a refined instrument. Keri had gotten her unplanned, unforeseen revenge, and there was not any point in thinking about the country hick turned pro baseball star any longer.
4
Cody
I stayed away from the Lamplight exactly three weeks.
I also had a long conversation with Nate Jigger, in which I explained I was only trying to impress the other players by making it appear he had two celebrity admirers.
“I didn’t know you would hit on him,” I said apologetically. “Otherwise I would have told you…but we were both kind of wasted, so…”
“Wait!” Said Nate. “First of all, I didn’t hit on him. He came on to me and I thought he was a girl. What do you usually do when a woman rubs it in your face? I was doing the natural thing.”
“You didn’t give me a chance to explain! I would have told you if it hadn’t happened so fast.”
“That’s why these college students are dangerous, dude. They prey on our weaknesses. What are you going to do about it, Cody?”
“We probably shouldn’t tell anyone. It wouldn’t look good for either of us.”
“You could pick a fight.”
“With the drag queen? Angelique?”
Nate nodded, the corners of his mouth drooping down.
“I’m not going to do that.”
I stood up to Nate, but it didn’t feel too good. “Anyway…Not at the Lamplight. It’s one of those artsy type places. They’re big time. Not big, big time, but their next stop is the music halls.”
Nate scoffed. “What were you doing in a place like that anyway?”
I shrugged but kept my head down. The very first lesson I learned as a sports player was never appear like you’re a nerd. “Hey, it’s a good place to pick up college girls.”
“Ah,” said Nate as though I had just explained everything. “But how did you get involved with the performers?”
“They led me on. Or SHE did. Diana. You saw her. She invited me to her house, but her performer friends are a bit strange. I guess she was playing a prank on me. Trying to prove something about me being a player, or whatever.”
“So what…that drag queen is just a dude trolling other dudes? He pranks people like that all the time?”
“It’s not like that, man. He’s a real…you know, drag queen. But he’s also a guy with a girlfriend. I don’t think he meant anything malicious by it. He just thought you were mindlessly flirting like he was. So he flirted back. But you don’t fight with guys like that. It’s like beating up girls. You just don’t do it. You shouldn’t have punched him, man.”
“Well, I’m not a bigot, you know,” Nate said defensively. “I was just caught by surprise. I don’t care if you’re gay or tranny or whatever. I just don’t like being pranked by dudes like that.”
“No hard feelings then,” I said with a smile.
“But those college students will twist your mind, bro. It was HER idea to bring all her friends wasn’t it?”
�
��Yeah, I guess so.”
“That’s how she twists you. See bro, she accuses you of playing her. But in reality, she and her friends are playing YOU. Truth.”
“I guess she doesn’t like me then, huh?”
“Nope,” Nate said. “In fact, you should make HER apologize to you. You tell her you want an apology. She’s a spider, man! Don’t let her wrap her web around you, bro. You spent a lot of money on her, man, and that’s how she repays you? By punking you and humiliating you? That’s bullshit, son. You got to straighten her out.”
I considered Nate’s advice as very good advice. We both agreed it would not be smart for either one of us to tell the truth about Nate’s encounter with Angelique. Nate had his reputation to consider. And he even wrote a letter of apology for his impulsive act of violence.
Good for Nate. But still…I was pissed. What Nate said seemed true. They played me for a fool. And I wanted an acknowledgment from them that they had exceeded the boundaries of common decency. I especially wanted Diana to understand this. I really was starting to like her. And I had no idea how much she was laughing at me the whole time.
* * *
I returned to the Lamplight. Maybe it was foolishness. Maybe I take sadistic pleasure in my own discomfort. I don’t know, but one thing I felt sure about; I had a score to settle. I sat there, arms crossed and scowling throughout her whole performance. It didn’t help my mood that Diana never even sang to me. Not once. She never passed by my table. She never left trailing behind her a deep, sultry line meant just for my ears. She completely ignored me! I even tried to wave her over to come to me, but she didn’t.
At the end of the night when she went up to the bar to have a drink, she turned her back away from me and began talking to a gawky looking guy in glasses and a poorly fitted suit. He was apparently a fan.
He got her to sign a program sheet, shook her hand and returned to a huddled group of other dark-suited jazz enthusiasts, all with similar gawky expressions.
She was alone and had nearly finished her drink when I sauntered up to the bar and leaned against it.
“You didn’t have to embarrass my friend that way,” I said. “He never did anything to you. He was just being nice.”
“I could argue he embarrassed himself!” she replied. “Assuming, we are all adults.”
“Of course, we are adults! What does that have to do with anything?”
“Because only children blame others for the things they do to themselves. Angelique played the role you asked him to play. It’s not his fault your friend developed the hots for him.”
“He didn’t have the hots!” I said. “Nate just thought Angelique was a groupie. Groupie girls like to be fondled like that. That’s all.”
“Ohh I'm sorry!” she said in sarcasm. “That must have been quite a disappointment finding out that not every ‘groupie’ is what she appears to be in real life.”
“Look, Nate overreacted and he sent Angelique a letter of apology for acting out like that. Didn’t he get it?”
“Yes, he did.”
“Good. SO…now I think you and Angelique should apologize to ME. Nate thinks so too. I think you should apologize for taking advantage of my good nature. I just wanted you to come root for me and you had to bring your whole, weird family. As some kind of a joke.”
“You haven’t met my whole family yet, just the weird ones. Really, Cody. I don’t know why you are so upset. I haven’t hidden anything from you. You saw how I live. And now you want an apology from someone who was behaving exactly as you asked him to behave? Can’t you see how silly that is? If I knew you and Nate were so afraid of drag queens, I never would have introduced you. I never would have burdened you with my friendship.”
I frowned deeper, confused with the tumult her close presence caused me. She didn’t speak scornfully. Her voice was rich and throaty, enticing me to look beyond what I thought I saw. Always challenging me to think differently.
I had been warned about women like her. Even Nate spoke very superstitiously of women and their seduction games. They weren’t little girls with stars in their eyes. They weren’t even gold diggers, selling themselves to the best offer. They took a man’s mind and turned it inside out for amusement. They got inside him like a drug.
Was Diana really a girl like that? I wondered. All I knew was that when she was near me like this, I couldn’t think straight.
“But you should still apologize out of respect, you know.”
“Why? Because you’re such a big important baseball player?”
“No…not that. Because I really liked you. And as soon as I decided I liked you, you decided to test me. You made me buy tickets for all your friends as some kind of initiation thing. And why, Diana? Because I treated your friend Keri so badly. You know, in that I turned her down for sex, knowing I just wasn’t that interested in her? And didn’t want to get her hopes up?”
She turned slowly at the bar until she was facing me full-on. She propped one elbow on the counter and laced her fingers loosely together.
“I apologize then for my insensitivities and those of my friends. We can appear unkindly without meaning to be so.”
I nodded, unsure why her soothing words grated. There was an undertone in her voice that sounded like she was laughing at me. Maybe it was just the formality of her words. She couldn’t be like an ordinary girl and just say, “I’m sorry.”
She had to make it appear like she still had an edge, that she wasn’t that sorry at all, but would give an apology if I insisted, just to keep the peace. It had a very hollow feel.
“Well, now that that’s over with, we can get on like we have been, don’t you think?” I finally said. “Can I buy you another drink?”
She shook her head. “My limit for the night.” She picked up her purse and jacket.
I frowned. Figuring this was all doomed to hell anyway.
“…I’m hungry, though,” she finally said. “Sergi’s is still open and it’s just two doors down.”
It sounded like an invitation. I decided it was. I followed her outside and helped smooth the collar of her jacket.
“If you want to eat, I’ve got my car. We can go anywhere you like.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere else,” she said. “I want to go to Sergi’s. It’s warm and friendly. Good food. Lots of lights so the cabs stop there frequently. All my friends go to Sergi’s.”
I sighed. But…all things considered, I suppose I should get used to her friends. She sure seemed to have a lot of them.
I walked with her to Sergi’s, my hands in my pocket, realizing once again she had the upper hand. As always.
“Why don’t you get a car anyway?” I asked. “You can afford it.”
“Don’t want one. I don’t like to drive.”
“One of your friends could drive it.”
“They don’t like to drive, either,” she said.
I shook my head in frustration. What an odd woman!
Two doors down was a short walk, even if the buildings were long and low. We reached the glass door of the busy diner and I swung it open, allowing her to enter first.
“Hmm,” I said as I sat us down in a booth. “Have you ever driven a car outside the city?”
“I’ve been outside the city. Can’t say that I’ve driven out of it though.”
“Driving outside the city, on that open highway, is a whole different feeling. It’s complete freedom. That’s why you need a car. To drive to the open spaces.”
She ordered English fish and chips and a glass of iced tea.
“The best fish & chips are on the Mendocino Coast,” I informed her. When she raised her eyebrows, I continued on jabbering. “It’s true. Some English guys set up a restaurant just a couple miles out of Ft. Bragg, right on a big bluff overlooking the ocean. Have you been up north, Diana?”
“A couple of times. I’ve been to Eureka and Portland. Very pretty country.”
“Mendocino is before any of it. It’s God’s country, the
y say. Fishing villages, farms, and the Redwoods. If you live in the Redwoods long enough, you begin to believe in leprechauns, fairies, and elves. It’s the size of them, I suppose. They make you feel so small.”
She was actually listening to me! She paused between each bite of food to look me in the face and speculate on what I said. “It sounds like a nice place to go,” she said.
“It is! It gets a lot of tourism. Some of the fishermen have taken up offering charter boat services. It makes them more money than regular fishing.”
“Is your father a fisherman?”
“He’s a truck driver. It’s good money for a country life. We lived just a few miles outside of Ft. Bragg. Two acres and a four-bedroom home. How about you, Miss Diana? I’ve gone on and on about me and haven’t asked one thing about you.”
“I come from a big family with a small house in Oakland. My father is a teacher. My mother, a music instructor. My brothers spent their early years terrorizing the neighborhood but are married now and teaching their children to do the same.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. We’re block defenders. Five generations of Oakland born and raised.”
I didn’t really know how much to believe with her. She seemed to mix her truths with half-truths. I couldn’t really believe her brothers were such thugs, but when I looked into those dark, curtained eyes, all I could see were secrets lurking in their depths. She could be part of the mafia for all I knew. Anything she said would be equally believable!
“Should I be afraid of them, your brothers?”
“Not if you don’t meet them,” she smirked back.
She was joking, right? Even though she didn’t smile…
“I guess, Oakland is a tough town to grow up in,” I said begrudgingly.
“What are you worried about? You’re the son of a truck driver. Aren’t they pretty ballsy?”
The way she said it didn’t sound like swearing at all. “I suppose they are. The dads aren’t around a lot, so truck driver kids sort of grow up on their own. But we learn to drive a big rig. We know how to drive a stick.”