There was an older couple holding hands, their backs to me as they walked opposite my direction, a mother with two small children building sand castles several yards away, and a few more people farther down near the entrance, but no one close enough to notice me.
Then again, I wasn't sure why I would think any stranger here on the beach would be noticing me in the first place.
Once I finally got my towel smoothed out I lay soaking in the afternoon sun. It would’ve been relaxing if it weren't for the wind puffing around me. The corner of the towel whipped my leg and I kicked it to the ground again. A few wisps of hair floated from my ponytail tickling my nose. I brushed them away trying to tuck them tighter under my head.
Finally I gave up, sitting upright with a huff and digging sand out of my ear, grumbling under my breath, I don't remember wind being mentioned in the forecast. Was this the time of year for the infamous Santa Ana winds to wreak havoc on our pleasant town? I couldn't remember.
Despite the growing wind, I wasn't ready to part with the ocean. I hadn’t felt the extra uplift that I needed yet.
I left my bag as an anchor for the towel and walked down to the water to find the tide pools. I'd explored them many times before, observing the funny crabs that scurried through the cracks and crevices. But I must have come during high tide today. Only a small portion of the craggy rock formations were visible.
I waded through the shallow parts, taking deep breaths of cool, salty air and came to a large boulder layered with sediment. The side facing the sand was surrounded by shallow water and angled down towards the ground, making it easy to climb.
I crawled to the top edge that hovered over the ocean and stood looking out at the horizon.
The rise and fall of the waves rolled towards me, the hum growing to a rumble before breaking below my feet. The sea stretched to the edge of the sky, overwhelming, and liberating, and soothing all at once.
I took the ocean for granted before. Growing up it was a fun place to play, that was it. It still was of course, but it wasn’t until I could drive and started coming here alone that I actually took the time to appreciate it.
The ocean was immense and uncontrollable, but it followed patterns and cycles that were consistent, you could always rely on it to be there. Hidden life thrived beneath its surface, yet it could swallow you up and drag you to your death if given the chance. It was nature’s great paradox.
I closed my eyes and listened to the crashing waves send spray up my ankles. Everything started to feel clearer. In this moment, it didn't matter that I was bursting into to tears of depression for no reason, or that I was losing my mind and chasing after green-eyed boys that may or may not actually exist outside my dreams.
Right now it was just me and the water. I wished I could live on this rock forever.
I’d never questioned my life before. I had countless friends, wonderful memories, a bright future ahead of me, but something didn’t feel right anymore.
Suddenly wind barreled across my rock.
I gasped, eyes popping open. Another burst of howling air exploded, ripping me off balance. I didn't have time to think, only to react. My legs flew out from under me, arms reaching out, but my ocean view became nothing but sky. Gravity yanked me in the water, pain piercing my skull. I barely registered the blow before darkness hit.
4. RESURFACE
I sensed danger but couldn't do anything to help myself, stuck in a bad dream I couldn't wake up from. Was I asleep or awake? Dead or alive? Time stood still as strange shapes and shadows flashed before me then turned dark again. The horrible, trapped feeling grew, suffocating.
No light. No air. No escape.
My mother's face appeared through the black. I wanted to reach out, but I couldn't move. I was helpless. Mom smiled at me, giving me a fleeting moment of hope. She said everything would be all right; then she swirled and floated away, dispersing into darkness.
A burning spread through my chest. I tried to make sense of something—anything. My head ached, like a balloon was inflating beneath my skull, ready to pop. Confusion mounted, thoughts ending before they began. When would it stop?
I fought, pulling away from the deep towards light. The fog lifted slowly. I was still disoriented but somehow I was making my escape. My mother's words began to ring true—I would be all right. Wherever I was going to find myself when I regained consciousness, it was going to be okay.
My mind worked overtime to pull through the haze. I sensed the air surrounding me, cool and flowing beneath my legs. My body was limp but I was moving. Warmth wrapped around me, carrying me to safety. I gasped, searching for air. Intense stinging pulsed through my nose as I sputtered out the choking water.
I found dry ground beneath me as I wheezed, soaking up every molecule of oxygen my body could take in. My throat tightened. I coughed and heaved again and again, extracting the burning water.
Slowly my chest relaxed and relief washed over me. My head throbbed, but it was manageable pain because I felt real again. I had escaped the endless night.
I gained control as I lay on my back in the sand with my eyes closed, devoid of strength. Yes, it was sand beneath me. At least I could figure out that much. And I was wet.
A deep voice crooned in the background, strong and soothing. “Can you hear me? You're going to be okay. You're safe now.”
My eyes fluttered open, searching for the voice, blinking to clear away the fuzzy vision. As I came into focus, two shimmering eyes gazed down at me in concern. Could it be? I blinked again. Was I hallucinating? They were…they were…the eyes, the ones from my dream.
I was almost certain. They were the glowing green eyes I’d spent the day searching for at school; the ones that sparkled, with the mystery person attached to them.
I’d spent half the day chasing after these eyes and now here they were. By some wonderful twist of fate, the eyes from my dreams now hovered over me as I shivered. As if the toss of the waves hadn't rattled me enough, his penetrating stare sent me into shock.
My wide eyes couldn’t break from his. I'd never felt so elated to be driven to delusion. My mouth gaped open, causing me to lose my breath and cough repeatedly.
“Just relax,” he said. “You should start to feel better in a few minutes.” His voice was so calming.
I continued to gape at him, speechless. No earthly gemstone compared to the brilliance of the eyes peering down at me. They were like aqua diamonds, brilliant and crystal clear like the waters of a waveless Caribbean beach. The inner circle surrounded by a deeper ring of emerald and a tiny hint of blue. They glowed, with facets refracting light in every direction.
They were mesmerizing. They didn't seem real. He didn't seem real.
Maybe this wasn't real at all. Maybe it was just a creation in my mind, shielding itself from a slow, drowning death.
I reached my hand to his face to feel it. Would it float away into the night like my mother's? No, his golden skin remained solid beneath my touch. It was smooth and warm, free from imperfections. Aside from a slight five o’clock shadow along the bottom of his chin, his skin was flawless, almost too perfect.
“Are you real?” I whispered, running my finger down his cheek.
He grinned and chuckled at my expense. His sandy brown hair hung in shaggy waves over the tops of his ears, dripping slightly. I had to resist the urge to run my fingers through the lightly sun-kissed strands. It was hard for me to believe he was really here.
“This is just my imagination, isn't it?” I said.
I frowned as another option came to mind. “Or…am I…dead? Is this heaven?” My voice cracked at the thought, but it was the only place I could imagine feeling this way. There was no trace of my earlier depression. Instead I was filled with wonder.
“No, no,” he laughed. “I promise I'm real. And you're definitely not dead. You hit your head, but you're going to be fine.” He was amused by my misconceptions.
I wanted to believe him with every ounce of my being, but it seeme
d too good to be true. I felt oddly safe with this stranger, more than I ever had with anyone else. His calming presence was almost enough to suppress the sting in my throat. My face tightened as I swallowed.
“Here, drink this,” he said. He held a plastic bottle of water to my mouth, propping my torso up in his lap. “It will soothe the burn.”
His touch sent a shiver up my back. I'd never felt the slightest bit nervous around any boys I'd known, but with him my stomach wouldn’t stop jumping. Yet, somehow I was completely at ease and comfortable at the same time. I was confused by my own contrasting emotions.
I sipped at the water, body shaking in the cool air.
His torso lunged at a sweatshirt lying next to him on the ground. His movements were agile, barely rocking me in his lap. I lost sight of his glistening eyes and realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. Whoa. He was strong. I stared at his suntanned chest. I was usually better controlled around muscles but in this case, I just kept staring.
He glanced at me from the corner of his eye and turned back to my direction. I'd swear he was holding back a smile. Was he purposely teasing me? My eyes darted away, embarrassed.
He must’ve pulled off the sweater in a hurry because the zipper was still intact. He unzipped it in less than a second with a single fluid maneuver and draped the black hoodie over my body.
I was too distracted to notice the wind against my wet clothes until I felt the warmth of his sweater. I curled up, secure, easing my shaking limbs.
The sweater looked faded and worn, but the inner lining was soft. A musky scent filled the air around my face where the hood rested on my chest. I took a deep breath, inhaling it discreetly. There was something about a boy’s sweater that was hard to resist.
He wasn't quite a boy though. Despite his smooth, youthful perfection, he seemed more like a man. Something about him was mature and masculine. He had to be at least a couple years older than me, nineteen or twenty maybe? There was a confidence about him that made me feel secure. As if, no matter what happened, no matter what harm came my way, he could protect me.
I lay there for a moment allowing my energy to return. The throbbing dulled to a shallow pain around the bump on my head and my throat became smooth again as I sipped at the water.
Even though my strength returned quickly, I was in no hurry to move from the comfort of my rescuer's arms. I didn’t remember meeting him before, but somehow I knew him. Rather than meeting for the first time, it felt almost like a reunion.
Could he really be the boy from my dreams?
If I had seen him before, in real life, there was no way I would've forgotten him. What was it about him that felt so familiar and right?
It seemed silly to think this way about someone I'd just met. It wasn't normal or reasonable. But I knew I felt something, I just couldn't explain it.
My eyes remained fixed on his face, spellbound, unable to look away. I feared he might disappear. His gaze met mine and his expression intensified. It seemed he felt the same way, like he knew me too.
Suddenly the earth stopped spinning. It was only the two of us moving together through space and time, as if the universe finally came into balance.
His mouth turned up at the corners, smiling gently through his eyes. He didn't say anything, just looked at me thoughtfully like he knew what I was thinking. His hand brushed along my forehead, smoothing a stray hair through his fingers and back into place.
If I could freeze time, I would choose this moment. Of all the pleasant things I'd experienced in my life, none could compare. There was something unspoken between us, a feeling I couldn't deny. Something I couldn't explain.
Was it absurd to think he loved me? Yes, that would be ridiculous. We barely knew each other.
I'd always been a romantic, but I didn't believe in love at first sight. I could see how someone might become infatuated by another person and want to spend every waking moment with them; but true love, real, lasting love, came by knowing someone completely and accepting them for who they were.
Yet somehow in this moment it seemed possible, irrational, but possible. Logic would certainly argue otherwise. We’d barely spoken a few words to each other and I knew nothing about him, but my heart believed it might be true.
Suddenly he turned his face, breaking his gaze from mine. My heart dropped, the earth settling back to its normal rotation. Distance moved between us as he mumbled something under his breath. It was hard to make out, but it sounded like he said, remember the code. It didn't really make sense.
The unspoken connection between us was lost. It was a beautiful moment, whatever it was, but it was over. I wouldn't forget it, I was sure of that. How could I possibly, when it left my heart changed forever?
He sat for a few minutes staring off at the horizon, but it felt like an eternity. He didn't speak, deep in thought. I wanted to say something but there weren't any words. Then he turned back to me, his expression resolved.
“Are you feeling better now?” he said in a polite tone.
I hesitated, not wanting anything to change. “Uh, yes, much better.”
“It'll be dark soon. Let me help you up.” He lifted me effortlessly from his protective cradle to stand me upright.
I wasn't ready to leave. I wanted to drop down and cling to his leg, pinning him to the ground. But I ignored the childish impulse and smiled, thanking him.
“How do you feel?” he asked. “Do you think you can walk all right?” For being through such an ordeal, I felt surprisingly well, almost normal—at least physically.
“I'm okay.” I said. I smiled to hide my disappointment. “Thank you so much for saving me. Is there anything I can do to thank you?” I looked up at him hopefully. A hug? I thought. A Kiss? An eternal vow of my undying love?
“Knowing you're okay is thanks enough,” he said, a wide boyish smile forming on his face, revealing a faint dimple near his left cheek.
A butterfly fluttered in my stomach. His expression was charming and playful compared to his earlier, serious demeanor—as if nothing even happened, as if he was just a sweet guy that happened to be in the right place at the right time to help me out, as if he didn't feel any of the emotions I had felt.
He picked up his t-shirt crumpled on the ground and threw it over his head, then walked a few feet to my bag and rested it on his shoulder.
He grabbed my towel and shook it to release the sand. “Come on,” he said. “I'll walk you to the shuttle.”
Every minute with him counted now. I didn't know how many more I would have.
“Okay,” I said. I trotted to his side, not able to suppress a smile when I was near him.
The sun grew low in the sky as we made our way across the shore. A few clouds reflected pink and orange hues around the muted glow of the setting sun.
I tried to think of something to say to break the silence. It was rare for me to be at such a loss for words. I knew he was going to leave soon, but I didn't want him to. Was there anything I could say to persuade him to stay with me?
I made an attempt at normal conversation. I wasn't sure what else to do.
“Do you go to school around here?” I asked, hoping to find out more about him. I was almost positive he was the face I saw at school today.
“No,” he said.
I sighed. “Oh, for some reason I thought I'd seen you at my school before.”
“I haven't been at any schools recently,” he said without hesitation. “You must have me confused with someone else.”
I was a little perplexed. It had to be him. I would swear on my mother's life. We reached the edge of the beach and continued up the paved path towards the shuttle stop.
“So if you're not in school, what do you do?” I asked. I wished I could know every detail about him right this minute. “Besides saving damsels in distress from drowning of course.”
He chuckled once. “You guessed it actually. Saving beautiful girls from danger is my favorite hobby.”
Was he implying he thought I was b
eautiful? I felt a tinge of hope. It was probably vain of me, but I took it as a compliment.
I swayed towards him, my arm brushing his. “No, really,” I said, feeling flattered. “What else do you do? Besides that…”
It was hard not to feel flirtatious, especially when he looked at me with those eyes.
“I work,” he said vaguely, like it was fun for him to withhold as much information from me as possible.
“You work? Wow that really narrows it down.” My tone was sarcastic but he was too cute to even pretend to be frustrated with. I couldn't control my smile around him. My cheeks were starting to hurt as we walked up the path.
“It's…complicated,” he said.
I wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation, almost like he was purposely hiding something from me. Why was he being so mysterious? The desire to unravel his secrets only multiplied my interest.
“Start with your name then,” I said. “That can’t be complicated.”
He just smiled this frustrating, devious smile and walked ahead of me to the shuttle stop. I stared at his back in disbelief.
He set my stuff on a bench and motioned to me. “You should sit down. You don't want to exert yourself after a head injury.”
I followed his suggestion and moved to the bench, feeling both frustrated and intrigued. He was so impossibly interesting. His presence was dauntless and protective, but somehow thoughtful and kind at the same time.
I moved near him and his hand guided me in front of the bench, but I turned towards him instead of sitting. His stance shifted back, pulling slightly away. I wanted to reach out and hold him, but I refrained, feeling unsure.
I stood there unmoving, still gazing up at him. He was tall compared to a lot of boys I knew. I searched his face for any sign of reciprocation and moved closer. This time he didn’t move away.
“Thank you again,” I said softly, looking up at him through my lashes.
There was a long, heavy pause. I waited breathlessly for his response. His glowing eyes met mine and their radiance hypnotized me. I could see nothing else.
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