My mother was the worst of them all when it came to making a fuss. She was overjoyed by my sudden recovery and who could blame her. Of course she didn’t say anything to me about how awful the last four days had been. It was one of the nurses who told me what a mess my mom had been while I was in the coma. Seeing the immense gratitude pour out from her jubilant face was like a song to my heart.
Even though it wasn’t my mom’s department at the hospital, the staff let her shadow everything they did. I didn’t think they minded her presence though. Without even realizing it, she spread positive energy to everyone around her. She made sure they administered every possible test known to man and with each test that unfolded positive results her optimism grew.
The hospital buzzed about my miraculous recovery. Apparently it wasn’t common to wake up in perfect health from a coma, especially after suffering a traumatic brain injury. In fact it was most common to undergo years of rehabilitation to reteach the brain how to function again, if you were one of the lucky ones to make it that far. Every person I interacted with made it clear just how lucky I was.
I was concerned my eye color would attract attention and raise concerns, but it seemed to be the least of their interest. My eyes were so different and bright to me, but the medical personnel didn’t even realize there had been a change, and I wasn’t about to offer the information voluntarily.
The only doctor that brought it up was my mom’s friend, Dr. Jensen, the hot doctor I wanted her to date. He probably noticed because we’d met several times before the accident, but he quickly reasoned it could’ve been caused by a chemical reaction or hormone change as a result of undergoing physical trauma. It was mostly visiting friends and my mom that had a harder time with the change, but they all accepted the explanation given by Dr. Jensen without further inquiry.
It was confirmed through x-rays that my ribs and collarbone, which were clearly broken when admitted to the hospital just days earlier, were now completely mended. This phenomenon caused a stir among doctors from several departments. They all wanted a chance to review my case and discuss possible theories with each other.
But I knew the truth—or at least part of the truth. My recovery wasn’t the result of some grand miracle or biological phenomenon. It was all the work of my personal rescuer, my secret protector and his mysterious vile of liquid. I hoped the novelty of my recovery would wear off soon. I longed to see him again and I was sure he wouldn’t return until I was alone.
I wondered if he was hiding in the shadows somewhere, watching me but remaining invisible. I wanted to believe he was. It made all the commotion seem bearable.
Once they determined I was up for it, they moved me from the ICU down to my mother’s department, the inpatient rehab unit. I missed home and the warmth of my own bed but my mom insisted I stay a couple more days in the hospital so she and Dr. Jensen could keep me under close surveillance.
I gave in to her request, but only after she’d agreed to resume working her usual schedule and to go home to sleep after every shift. Although my mom seemed to delight in the constant stream of congratulations and well wishes, I needed a break.
I finally convinced her to allow me some time to rest. I had so many visitors over the last two days I’d barely had time to think. Almost everyone I knew came by, everyone except Heather. Out of all my friends it was her I wanted to see most, but she never came.
On the other hand, the person I was hoping to see least was Justin. The night of the accident had come back to memory and I recalled how awkward our last conversation had been. But shortly after I’d been moved to my new room his heavy knock arrived on my door.
The door cracked open hesitantly. “It’s okay, come in,” I said. I set the book I’d been reading on the side table.
A slight pair of legs staggered into the room, the rest of the small person hiding behind an enormous bouquet of flowers. It was so large I thought the little boy might topple over. Justin followed behind, a cast on his right arm. I sunk a little when I realized who it was.
“Wow Sade, you look good,” Justin said. “Actually, you look more than good. Compared to the other night, I’d say you look awesome.”
“Uh, thanks, Justin.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from his visit or what his intentions might be. I wanted to believe he was just being a good friend, but Justin’s track record wasn’t the greatest.
The young boy holding the flowers stumbled around the room in search of a surface large enough to accommodate the pretentious display. I held back a laugh. After many unsuccessful attempts and one close call involving a lamp, the boy set the vase down right in the middle of the floor. He glanced at me shyly and looked to Justin for instruction.
Justin gave him a pat on the back with his healthy arm. “That works, buddy. Now go wait for me in the hall. I’ll come get you in a few.”
“He can stay,” I said, as the boy wandered out the door.
“He’s all right. That’s what little brothers are for.”
Justin sat at the foot of my bed. “So how are you, girl? I heard you’re like a celebrity around here now.”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said.
He leaned close and examined my face. “What happened to your eyes? They look crazy cool.”
I pulled my head deep into my pillow to escape the invasion of personal space. “Um, the doctor said it could be some kind of hormone reaction to the accident or something like that.”
I figured Justin wouldn’t be one to need much of an explanation.
“Crazy…” he said. He sat back, allowing me room to breathe again. “You know, my older sister had blue eyes her whole life then last year when she got pregnant they totally turned green. I’m serious, and they still are. That would be sweet if yours stayed like this.”
“Yeah, I guess our bodies can do crazy things sometimes,” I said.
Usually I could rely on Justin to keep the conversation moving but an awkward silence circled the air. He fidgeted and glanced from wall to wall around the room.
“Well, it was really nice of you to drop by,” I said, hoping he would use it as an exit.
He stood up. “Right, so…” His words wavered uncomfortably. “Actually, Sadie, I wanted to talk to you.”
Oh no. Here it comes, I thought. I hoped it wasn’t going to be difficult this time. I didn’t want to turn him down and hurt his feelings yet again—if they were even capable of getting hurt.
“Justin, I thought we talked about this,” I said.
“No, I know,” he said calmly. His voice suddenly sounded so normal, like a normal person having a normal conversation for once. I raised one eyebrow.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” To my surprise his face dropped with remorse. “I know I’ve been a jerk and I feel really bad that you got hurt. The crash was probably the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me and it was totally my fault. I was trying to show off and I was being stupid. I’m really sorry.”
I was genuinely surprised and impressed by his apology. “Thanks, Justin. That means a lot.”
That was probably the most decent thing I’d ever heard come out of his mouth.
“Listen,” I said. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us, but do you think we could still be friends?”
“Of course, Sade. You’ll always be my girl.”
I frowned in disapproval.
“…friend,” he amended. “Girl…friend.” He stumbled over his words. “I mean, friend that’s a girl.”
I laughed. He was actually kind of sweet when he wasn’t trying so hard.
“So now that we’re friends, can I give you a little friendly advice?” I said.
“Sure, I guess.”
“I just think if you spent less time trying so hard to impress a girl and more time being yourself, you might be surprised by the results. Any girl worth being with will like you just for being you.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said. “Any hot girl tha
t’s smart like you, would probably see right through me.”
I thought I saw a hopeful gleam in his eye. I decided to take an extra measure of precaution just in case.
“Justin, I don’t know if you heard, but I have a boyfriend now,” I fibbed.
“What? Who is it?” he said, a little too territorial.
“It’s no one you know. He doesn’t go to our school.”
“Well, what’s his name?” Justin pushed.
“Rayne,” I said, knowing full well this was more of a wishful fantasy than any form of the truth.
“What kind of a lame name is that?”
“It’s not lame,” I said. “It’s unique.”
“Sounds kind of girly, if you ask me.”
“Very funny, Justin. He’s far from it actually,” I said, a little defensive. “He’s more of a man than any of the guys at our school. He’s already graduated.”
Justin frowned. “A college guy, huh?”
“Um yeah, college,” I said, not correcting his wrong assumption.
“That’s cool I guess,” he said, a hint of disappointment and jealousy in his voice.
Justin was resilient though. I knew he’d be fine.
“Hey, have you seen Heather around?” I asked.
I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t come to see me, even if she was mad at me.
“I saw her at school today but we didn’t talk,” he said. “Hasn’t she come to visit you yet?” He looked surprised.
“No, she hasn’t come. I think she’s mad at me, but I have no idea why.”
“That sucks…”
“I know,” I said. “Do you think you could do me a big favor?”
“Sure, name it.”
“Can you talk to her for me? I really need to see her.”
“I get the feeling she doesn’t like me,” he said. “I’ll still talk to her, but only because it’s for you, Sade.” He winked at me.
Normally that would’ve bothered me coming from Justin, but I let it slide. He’d been fairly respectful his entire visit. He didn’t try to grope me even once. I had to give him credit for such an improvement.
After Justin left, I couldn’t believe how quiet the afternoon was. It was nice to finally have a chance to relax. My mom dropped in before her shift and stopped by again to check on me a couple hours later, but other than that Justin was the only visitor I’d had for several hours. It was pretty boring and annoying to be stuck in a hospital bed, especially when there wasn’t anything wrong with me, but at least it was finally quiet.
I glanced out the window for a moment, enjoying the sun rays streaming through the window. I hadn’t inhaled fresh air for days and I missed it.
My mind wandered. I couldn’t keep from thinking about Rayne. Now that things had settled down, I anticipated the moment he would walk through my door. I missed his soothing presence and I hated that I had no way to reach him. It made me feel helpless. But I would have to trust him that this was the best way. I didn’t have any other choice.
My mom brought a collection of books and movies to keep me entertained for the time being, but after a few hours I was already restless. I wanted to go home. There weren’t enough distractions here to keep me busy, to keep my mind off of Rayne and all the things he’d shared with me the other night. I couldn’t stop speculating about all his secrets. Even if he wouldn’t tell me those secrets, I would settle for gazing into his diamond eyes instead.
My daydreams were interrupted by a knock at my door. I thought I wanted alone time earlier but now I was glad for the diversion. I was both pleasantly surprised and—for the first time in my life—nervous, when Heather entered the room. Finally I would have a chance to talk to her and hopefully figure out why she was mad at me.
“Hey you,” I said.
Her slender figure moved slowly across the room. She seemed distant.
“Hey,” she replied. “Justin dropped by. He said you wanted to see me, so…”
“Yeah, thanks for coming. It’s good to see you.” I tried to ease into the conversation to test the mood. I wasn’t sure what to expect from her.
“It’s good to see you too,” she said politely. “Everyone at school’s been talking about the accident and how lucky you are. You look good by the way.”
“Thanks. I’m not surprised. Word travels fast with a guy like Justin around.”
The conversation felt strained, more like talking to an acquaintance, not a best friend of eleven years. Not like someone who knew all my quirks and secrets, like how I used to ice skate around the living room pretending I was the girl from the movie Ice Castles. Not like someone who helped me study for weeks for the ACT’s.
This was not the girl who ran to the store the night of my first date to buy fake eyelashes when I’d accidently cut mine off with a faulty eyelash curler; or the girl who used to climb the huge tree in her front yard with me to call out funny noises at the neighbors and giggle as they tried to figure out where the sounds came from.
What happened to that girl? I wanted her back.
“Heather, I have to ask, is everything okay? I mean, did I do something to make you mad? Why didn’t you come visit me sooner?”
Her entire face suddenly crumpled into a frown, her lower lip quivering. “Be…cause,” she barely managed to squeak out. She burst into sobs. “I’m a terrible friend.”
She was crying? But I thought she was angry, not sad.
I held out my arms. “What? No, that’s not true,” I said. She accepted my gesture and sat down on the bed with me.
“Yes it is. I’ve been horrible,” she whimpered. “And then you got hurt and I thought I was going to lose you forever, and the worst part is…it was completely my fault.” She sobbed again.
“What are you talking about?” I said, consoling her. “What was your fault?”
Her face squinted together like she was in pain. “Your…your accident,” she said, barely audible through her high pitched cries. I seemed to be hearing that quite a bit lately. Apparently a lot of people felt the accident was their fault.
“Heather,” I said. “How could the accident possibly be your fault? You weren’t even in the car.”
She gained a little composure. “Yeah, but you never would’ve been in the car with Justin if it wasn’t for me. I invited him over. You should hate me right now.”
“Don’t be silly. That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Sadie, I’m serious, I was such a jerk. I…I lied to you,” she confessed. “I never had an interest in Justin. I can’t stand that guy. I purposely invited him over because I, like, wanted him to mess things up with you and Nick. I told Justin you were the one that wanted him to come.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was jealous. And because…I like Nick. I was being stupid, I’m so sorry.” She looked at me reluctantly, preparing for my response.
“You like Nick?” I asked. I had my suspicions, but I wanted to hear it from her.
She nodded, ashamed.
“If you had feelings for him, you should’ve told me,” I said. “I didn’t even know who he was when you first mentioned him. Why did you want me to go out with him in the first place?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess I didn’t realize I liked him until he’d already asked you out. The more I thought about it, the more jealous I got.”
“You should have said something; I would’ve understood.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But it’s not just that, Sadie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…everyone loves you. Everyone wants to be your friend. Sometimes I feel like your tag-a-long or something.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked shocked.
“People see you and they’re like, hey look, it’s Sadie. She’s so beautiful and perfect. We love her. And then they see me and think, oh, there’s that chick that’s always following Sadie around.”
I couldn’t believe
what I was hearing. I must have been completely clueless. I had no idea she felt this way.
“That’s so not true, Heather. You are an amazing, smart, beautiful girl. Believe me, you could never be anyone’s shadow; and you’re a great friend. Why else would I stick with you for so long?”
I was expecting a smile but her face fell. “Ever since school started this year it felt like you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore. I was scared I was losing you,” she said.
She was right; I had been distant. I was the one who’d stopped coming to her house. I was the one with all the crazy mood swings and random bouts of depression. All this time I’d thought she was pulling away from me, but in reality I was the one who’d started it all.
“Heather, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I wasn’t being a good friend. I’ve sort of been going through some stuff lately and I guess I was being selfish. I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me? Will you please be my best friend again? I miss you.”
She smiled and reached out to hug me. “Of course I will. I miss you too.”
She leaned back and blotted her cheeks with a tissue from her purse then gestured to a white bag near the door. “I brought dinner. You know, in case it turned out you didn’t hate me after all,” she said, in her usual good humor.
Finally—I had my friend back.
“Really?” I said with a happy little clap. “What did you bring me?”
She pulled open the boxes revealing two taco meals from Wahoo’s, a local favorite of mine.
“You know me so well,” I said.
“Well I figured, who knows what stuff they’re feeding you around here. I couldn’t have my best friend living off fake mashed potatoes and pudding cups, right?”
We laughed.
“So what ended up happening the other night with you and Nick?” I asked. I was excited I could bring it up now without it causing any problems. “Did he stay and hang out with you?”
I honestly could say I had absolutely no interest in him, but I really hoped it might work out for Heather.
“Well, at first I was scared to tell you,” she said. “I felt pretty guilty about the whole thing, but we sort of hung out all weekend. I think we’re kind of dating now.”
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