Knox rubbed the sleep from his eyes with closed fists in a gesture that reminded her of when he was a boy. “I don’t know.” He answered, tiredly. “So much is different.”
“Like what?” She challenged.
“Um, I don’t know Kay…have you noticed anything different about me lately?” He answered sarcastically.
“You are ridiculous.”
“Well, you’re entitled to your opinion. But when you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, you might feel differently.” He answered.
Kayla felt stung by his response, but maybe she needed to be admonished. In her many attempts to show Knox that he was the same as before, perhaps she’d been dismissive of his feelings. He’d done so well, too. Never one to succumb to self-pity, he’d adapted and moved forward. When he picked things up again with Hannah, Kayla had been happy to see him in a relationship again, even though she wasn’t thrilled with his choice of girlfriend.
“Sorry.” She said softly as she sipped her coffee.
“It’s okay.”
The brother and sister remained silent for a moment, wondering who would break the tension. Knox knew that Kayla could only go so long without talking, but surprisingly, she sat down next to him and quietly sipped her coffee; waiting.
“I guess I just thought you guys belonged together.”
“Why? I mean, when you look at us on paper, we’re a pretty bad bet.”
“Why? Because you can’t see that well and she has a messed up family?” She said with quiet exasperation. “I think you’re using those reasons as excuses.”
“Most people don’t have this amount of baggage.” He held up a hand to stop her protest when he heard her take a deep breath. “We can’t fix each other and you know what? Relationships are hard enough without each person coming in damaged in need of repair.”
“Knox—“
He cut her off. “Sometimes it feels like I should have to settle for someone damaged. Like because I have this problem now, I’m only allowed to choose someone with an equal amount of damage.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
He held his head up with his hand. “I don’t know. Forget it.”
“No. What you just said—Knox—“
“I’m tired. Don’t listen to me.”
“Knox, no one thinks you’re damaged.” She stood up and touched his shoulder; compelling him to face her.
Knox turned toward her, but kept his eyes cast downward.
“Knox?”
He finally raised his head to meet her intense gaze.
“Why are you thinking that?”
“’Cause…I feel like I would’ve fought harder if it hadn’t been for this.” He gestured to his eyes.
“Fought harder for her?”
“Yeah.”
“You did everything you could, honey. She’s an adult and she made her own choices.”
“She put up walls, but I did too.” He looked away.
Kayla said nothing as she walked to the sink to rinse out her coffee cup.
“You know there’s nothing anyone can do while she’s still there.” He said, laying his hand on her picture in the paper.
“I know.” Kayla said softly with her back to him. “But if she comes back, what would you do?”
“That’s really a pointless question. She’s not coming back.”
Chapter 15
Maddie paced around the posh hotel room nervously, rubbing her cold arms. She couldn’t seem to get warm. It’d been a long day and the end was nowhere in sight. Now, she sighed as she slipped her aching feet back into her expensive leather shoes that pinched her toes and crossed to the door.
She was scheduled to join her father and brother for dinner at the home of one his largest campaign contributors. Her father had tried to leave her behind, and if she were being truthful, that would’ve been just fine with her, but Mr. and Mrs. Gerard Hammerton of Nutley wouldn’t hear of it. They absolutely insisted that she and Peter join them.
Now, she stepped into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind her. She felt the richness of the carpet crunch under the bright red bottoms of her Louboutin heels as she dragged herself, step by step, to the bank of elevators. As she waited, she turned and studied her reflection in the full length mirror that adorned the tastefully decorated area.
Her skirt was only a little creased. She smoothed it out with her hands and then adjusted the blouse beneath her cream colored blazer. Her hair, cut even shorter now, swung stylishly at chin level. Madeline turned from side to side, wondering what fault her father would find with her tonight. She inspected herself, hoping she could avoid his scrutinizing eye. She let her eyes roam all over her body, consciously avoiding her face. She knew if she looked into the reflection of her own eyes, she’d see the lies there, and right now, she could not bear it. Instead, she stepped closer to the mirror and checked her lipstick.
The bell rang, signaling the arrival of an elevator car that would carry her down into the lobby. If tonight was anything like the last twenty evenings together, Peter was probably in the bar, already on his way to ‘pleasantly inebriated,’ as he liked to call it. As the elevator doors opened, she inhaled deeply, steeling herself for another evening of mindless conversation. She glanced around quickly and found her brother walking out of the bar and into the main lobby.
“Just try not to embarrass Dad tonight.”
“It’s interesting you’d think I’d be the one to do that.”
“What are you implying?”
“Nothing.” Madeline answered tiredly. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“You see, that’s your problem. This isn’t an evening to ‘get it over with.’” He gestured with his hands. “Most people would enjoy a stimulating evening with their benefactors.”
“I’m not like Dad.”
“Or like me.” Peter snorted.
“If you think you’ll follow in Dad’s footsteps, you’re fooling yourself.”
“I have no intention of following anyone’s footsteps. I plan to blaze my own trail.”
“Oh really? How’s that going so far?” She laughed and then quieted down at the momentarily flare of hatred she saw in his eyes.
“I’d be very careful, if I were you Madeline.”
“Peter.” She said tiredly. “Don’t you ever get tired of threatening me?”
xXx
“A dollhouse?” Knox asked bemused.
“No, Uncle Knox. A house for my dolls.” Skylar explained in her sweet way; imploring him to understand the difference.
“Oh. Okay.” Knox answered, feigning clarity.
“They need a bigger bedroom with bunk beds and lots and lots of bathrooms.”
“Wow. That’s a tall order.”
“Can you make it like our house?”
“You want it to look like the house you live in?” Knox asked, surprised.
“’Cept no boy rooms.”
Now Knox laughed out loud. “So, when do you need this custom order Sky?”
He waited for her answer but started to frown when none came. Then he felt a tug on his sleeve. He bend down on one knee and felt his little niece move her face to his ear.
“I asked for it last Christmas from Santa, but it’s not the right one. I know you can build it, Uncle Knox.”
“So, a Christmas present then?” He stood back up and swept the little girl up into his arms. After years of getting used to the rough and tumble of his nephews, he was constantly awed by the sweetness of his niece.
“Yeah.” She whispered back excitedly.
“Okay then.” He answered and was about to put her back down when he felt her small, but very strong arms wrap around his neck and hold tight. He inhaled the scent of her. Baby powder and some kind of kids shampoo. He patted her back as he moved into the kitchen.
“Sky. There’s cookies on the table if you want some.” Ed sai
d from the doorway as he stood with a steaming cup of coffee.
Immediately she released Knox’s neck and signaled for him to lower her to the ground. He watched as she raced to the table and joined her brothers as they devoured the plate of Christmas cookies.
“Did you bake those, Dad?”
“Very funny. Liz, next door.” He jerked his thumb to the left to indicate the neighbor.
“How very nice of her.” Knox smirked at his father’s blustery tone. “I think she likes you.”
“Knock it off. I shoveled her drive way. She likes to bake.”
“That’s how these things always start…” Knox trailed off as he stole a cookie off of one of the twin’s plates.
“Uncle Knox!”
“You had too many. I was just evening things out.” He replied with his mouth full of some kind of delicious maple walnut confection.
“She’s a hell of a baker, Dad.”
“Keep it up, kid and I’ll leave you here alone with this brood.”
Knox sobered immediately. As much as he loved his sister’s kids, they wore him to the bone sometimes. “Not another word.”
Ed laughed. “Here. Coffee.” He said as he handed a mug to Knox.
Knox accepted it gratefully. “So, when is Kayla due back?”
“A couple hours. She had a few ‘errands’ to run.” He said with particular emphasis on the word ‘errands.’ This was the first Christmas since his sister’s divorce had been finalized. True to form, Ted had maintained about the same level of interest in the kids that he’d had while they’d been married—which was practically zero. Now, it seemed Kayla was going out of her way to make this Christmas as memorable as possible for the kids.
“Grandpa, can we go play in the backyard?” The twins yelled almost simultaneously.
“Sure, but take your sister with you and keep an eye on her, boys.” He answered sternly.
After almost a half an hour of helping the kids into their snow gear, Ed and Knox sat at the table exhausted.
“I don’t remember it being this hard when you were a kid.”
Knox laughed. “At least they have Velcro now. I remember mom sweating as she tried to pull my boots on.”
Ed and Knox quietly as they both were lost in memories of winters past. Finally, Ed cut through the quiet. “I, ah, heard what Skylar wants you to build for her.”
“Yeah.”
“If you need a hand, I’m available.”
Knox exhaled slowly. He knew that his father knew very well that he hadn’t taken on new work for several weeks. After the last change in his ever-deteriorating vision, he’d stepped back to give himself time to adjust. Well, that’s what he’d told himself anyway. The truth was a much scarier place.
He’d entered his workshop a few times, determined to be the master of the domain that had given him such a sense of satisfaction for years. But when he’d gotten close to his tools, his hands had shaken so badly, he’d left. It was fear, he knew. Fear that he’d never be able to achieve the same level of design and detail again.
He’d surprised himself when he agreed to build his niece’s dollhouse, but right away, he’d done some mental calculations and figured that a dollhouse was a fairly basic design, so it really shouldn’t be an issue—if he could just get back in the workshop.
“Thanks. I’ll let you know, okay?” He responded with emotion thick in his voice.
xXx
“I’ve decided to go back to Colorado for a visit.” She said from the doorway to her father’s office.
He looked up at her and then immediately back down at whatever paperwork held his attention. He spoke while continuing to write. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You seem to think I’ve come to ask permission.” She said as she moved a few steps further inside his sanctuary.
Now, James Roberts slowly put down the pen and folded his hands together on top of the desk. Madeline recognized the gleam in his eye. ‘Not this time’ she thought to herself.
“Madeline, I would’ve thought you’d be happy here, working for my office. What exactly do you need from me?”
She felt the urge to argue rise up to her throat, but she pushed it back down. This time, she thought she’d try a new tactic; the truth.
“Dad, I’m not out to hurt your reputation or make life more difficult for you.”
He studied her over the edge of his rimless glasses for a long moment. Then he picked up his pen and continued writing whatever it was that he’d been writing. “Go, then.”
She turned and stepped to the door. When she heard him call her name, she closed her eyes and steeled herself for whatever final insult he wished to deliver. He always had to have the last word.
“I’ll do my best to keep this out of the media, but I cannot control your brother. He will be most displeased by this turn of events.”
Madeline could feel the edges of her mouth attempting to pull up into a smirk, but she fought it down by biting the inside of her cheek.
“Goodbye Dad.” She answered and then once again turned to leave. This time, she let her long legs carry her with purpose and fortitude out into the foyer and up the stairs. By the time she reached her door, her legs had officially begun shaking, but at least she was free. With her hand on the doorknob, she let herself have a sweet moment of excitement, thinking that soon she’d be back in Colorado—and hopefully with Knox.
“Leaving so soon?”
His voice stopped her cold. She released the doorknob and slowly turned around to face her brother. The moment her eyes landed on his face, she knew she was in trouble. His cheeks were unnaturally rosy, and his eyes were glazed over in a way that indicated he was either drunk or high.
“What do you want Peter? I would’ve thought you’d be happy to see me go.”
He raised an eyebrow as he moved closer to her. She could see now that his tie was loose and his shirt slightly rumpled. She felt a finger of fear along her spine.
“Running back to Paul Bunyan?”
Now the fear kicked up a notch. She’d been so careful not to discuss her time in Colorado at all. They’d met both Knox and Ed at her mother’s funeral, but she’d hoped Peter and her father had been too distracted to pay careful attention.
“I’m not running anywhere. I’m just visiting.” She turned again to her door. Before she had time to register the action, Peter’s body was close behind her, pinning her to the door. She felt her heart thump hard against her ribcage.
“Just make sure you come back.” His alcohol-soaked breath made her wince.
Madeline’s brain quickly assessed every possible angle she could play. Even though she desperately wanted to elbow him hard in the gut, she thought maybe she could play him. He was unpredictable, and that scared her, but he was also slow. His movements were sloppy and delayed from the alcohol and God knows what else.
She took a breath and said, “I didn’t say I was leaving right now.”
Peter loosened his grip slightly. “Don’t get me wrong, I want you out of here as much as you want to be out, but we’re not done with you yet.”
Madeline tried for an air of disinterest. “Believe me, I think we can all agree we don’t suffer unnecessarily from family affection.”
He laughed and loosened her grip further. Madeline quickly spun around and put a few feet of distance between them. “I’m not going anywhere until I get what’s coming to me.” She said with a hand on her hip.
His eyes gleamed brightly. “There’s the girl I know.” He smiled. “It’s nice to know you’re a Roberts, through and through.”
“I’m here to serve.” She gestured with an exaggerated bow.
“And to get.”
“Well, quid pro quo, right Pete?”
His smile turned serious and he straightened his posture. “Dad needs us at his side. It presents a more favorable image if his adoring children support him.”
“I’ll do what I can, but he’s already won the election.” She moved once again to her bedroom door.
“Don’t be stupid.” He spoke as if she were mentally challenged. “The governorship is only a stop on the way to the big leagues.”
Now it was Madeline’s turn to raise an eyebrow. She’d never heard her father talk about any future political aspirations. “I didn’t know.”
“Are you kidding? The RNC has been courting him non-stop since his landslide victory. He’s practically a shoe-in.”
“If you’ll excuse me, Peter, I have to go change.”
“Yeah.” He said as he eyed her attire of jeans and a sweater with disdain. “You should. We have a strategy meeting at seven o’clock.”
Madeline only nodded as she entered her room and quickly locked the door. She sagged against it and willed her heart to calm down and return to a steady beat. What the hell just happened?
xXx
Knox grabbed a beer from the fridge and proceeded down the hallway and to the living room. He was pleasantly tired from working on the dollhouse all day. He stretched his fingers a few times, working out the kinks and muscle fatigue from working with such little pieces.
After he’d completed the frame of the house and the individual rooms, he’d begun working on the furniture. Originally, he’d thought buying the miniature furniture would probably be best, but surprisingly, he’d found he quite liked making tiny beds and chairs, and kitchen sets. He laughed at himself as he turned on the TV and settled down with his beer.
The news report droned on in the background as he let his mind wander. It was a dangerous pastime and one he vehemently avoided during working hours, but now with everything quiet and still, he found he could not stop his brain from conjuring her.
Knox pushed up and out of his chair. The sounds of the snowplow making another pass down his street droned on. He opened his front door and listened to the stillness that accompanied falling snow. He’d never really appreciated it until his sight had faltered, but now he closed his eyes and listened. The plow rumbled in the distance and branches ached and moaned as the snow weighed them down.
Knox leaned against the open doorway and drank his beer, appreciating the serenity of the moment. He wasn’t much of a social creature by nature so a night like this one suited him just fine—except for the fact that his heart ached for Madeline.
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