“He might not have been Captain before, but he’s proven to me countless times he’d be there whenever I need him. I know nothing has changed.” She slid her arm around his waist, pressing herself closer to him. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better as a mate.”
Her words eased his tigers’ tension, allowing him to relax further. While he might still have doubts, she wouldn’t push him away after she thought about their mating, it helped him to breathe easier for the moment. He’d find a way to get her to see they were meant for each other.
After walking through Hell, we deserve a slice of Heaven.
Chapter Six
Needing a moment to wrap her mind around everything that had happened in the last few hours Merrie stepped out into the cool Alaska air. Darkness had already settled over the compound, allowing her a clear view of the faint glowing lights around the perimeter, reminding her they were safe there. Safety, that’s what she loved about this place. Ohio had never offered the sense of security she found here, but according to Layla and Sparks, it had changed. Korbin saw to it just as he saw to moving the clan out of the hellhole they’d been forced to reside in and into a new building. A building held memories, trapping the horrors they suffered within the walls. What if it wasn’t just the building holding the memories, but the land and everything Keith had touched? Would she be able to keep the past behind her once she returned to Ohio?
“I thought I’d find you here.” Harmony strolled around the corner to where Merrie had hidden herself from view of those in the dining hall.
“I…” She glanced over to the woman who helped her pick up the pieces of her broken life.
“Thinking about the future?” Harmony leaned back against the wall and stared out into the darkness.
“I guess.” She shrugged. More like she was thinking about the past but the future kind of tied into it.
“You’re anxious about going back to Ohio.”
It was a statement more than a question. Still Merrie nodded. “I know things are different there with Korbin and Layla in charge and with Sparks by my side. Still it’s terrifying especially since…”
“You don’t have to go,” Harmony reminded her.
“I know.” The words were soft enough to get lost in the wind as it whipped around them. In her heart, she knew she could stay in Alaska, become part of their clan, and forget all about Ohio. Sparks would stay too if she told him she couldn’t go back. In some ways, it was appealing, while in others it broke a part inside of her. Ohio was her home, she’d been there through the worst, and she wanted to be there for the best moments the clan had in the future. “Layla’s asked me to help with the clan.”
“What did you say?” Harmony glanced toward her.
“Yes.” She watched Harmony, searching for a reaction. Would Harmony agree with her decision? “Coming here gave me a second chance and I want others to have that same opportunity. We’ve been through so much and seen some dark shit, but with Korbin leading the clan, we have a chance of a bright future. With Sparks role, how could I not want to do something to help them?”
“You’re not just doing it because of Sparks.” Harmony turned, pressing her shoulder against the wall, and watched Merrie. “You know there are members hurting, and you want to do something about it. You can’t stand to see someone else in pain, especially not when there’s something you can do about it. Just like with Henry, you went to help—”
“This isn’t like that.” Merrie snapped. With a deep breath she stood straight, so her back was no longer against the wall, yet she didn’t move away. “I was stupid then. I knew what he was capable of, we all did. Yet, I…”
“Couldn’t stop yourself from helping him,” Harmony finished. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Bullshit.”
“She’s right.” Sparks stepped out of the darkness, strolling toward them. “There’s nothing wrong with helping someone—even someone like Henry—you just have to do it responsibly. Take precautions, and in some cases, don’t go alone. Even shifters who aren’t insane like Henry was, if they feel cornered, they could lash out. Mer, you have a heart of gold, it’s who you are. I won’t stop you from helping others, but don’t expect me to stand idly by and watch you risk yourself. I’m positive there are going to be times you fight against me, but I will protect you no matter the cost.”
“Anyone going to Henry after he’d been tortured by Keith or Randolph would have been asking for problems but going to him after Wolf finished with him…” Harmony shook her head, sending her long ruby red hair flying through the nights air. “What were you thinking? You could have been killed.”
“The stench of blood and the thickness in the air from his pain and suffering…” She wrapped her arms around her waist, holding herself as she remembered going to Henry. “I couldn’t do nothing.”
“You should have come to me.” Sparks’ voice was low as he took another step toward her.
“No.” She glanced at him, meeting his gaze. “I wouldn’t put you in jeopardy. If Keith knew I went there that night I would have been punished. I wasn’t going to risk you.”
“Mer…” As if he couldn’t stop himself, he closed the distance and pulled her into his embrace. “My sweet Merrie, don’t you know by now I’d go to any length and risk any sort of punishment to protect you. You mean the world to me.”
“That’s why I couldn’t risk you.” She reached out to place her hand on his chest, clinging to his shirt as if it would keep him there. “I already knew then I was in love with you. It didn’t matter I didn’t think we were mates, I still gave my heart to you, and to put you in jeopardy…I just couldn’t.”
“Shh, sugar.” With his hand on the back of her head he drew her against his chest. “It doesn’t matter now, it’s all over.”
Except she knew it mattered. Put in the position again she wouldn’t change the decision she made. Protection was a two-way street. As he wanted to shield her from danger, she wanted to keep him safe too. If anything happened to him because of her she’d never be able to live with it.
“Har…” Her words were cut off when she glanced around Sparks and found Harmony gone.
“She went back inside. I think she realized we needed a few minutes alone.” He ran his hand along her back. “What are you doing out here anyway?”
“Thinking.” The party was sweet and meant a lot to her, but as it began to wind down, she found herself needing a little fresh air to clear her thoughts.
“You’re going to make me drag it out of you.” Sparks chest vibrated against her cheek as he let out a soft chuckle. “Thinking about what?”
“Us…Ohio…the past…the future. You know a bit of everything. My thoughts tend to jumble together into a mess. So, there’s something for you to look forward to once we’ve mated.” She teased as she looped her arm around his waist. “I saw you were talking to Bleidd.”
He dipped his head, placing his mouth next to her ear, and whispered, “Later.”
“Just another minute, Kyra.” Ambrose’s voice drifted toward them. “Merrie?”
“Yeah.” She turned in Sparks embrace to look at him.
“Kyra refused to take a nap before we came, and now she’s grumpy. I’m going to put her down, but I wanted to see you before we left.” He rubbed his daughter’s back, trying to sooth the young girl’s tears. “Frost and I were with Brooklynn when Ty stopped by her cabin. He received a call from your Alpha about the team visiting and wanted to talk to her about it.”
“That was quick.” She tipped her head up to Sparks. “Korbin must have called Ty after we ended the video chat.”
“It explains why Ty wasn’t here when we arrived for the party.” Sparks nodded.
“We have a mission to handle first, but it looks like we’ll make the trip next month. Frost’s mate, Alicia, is going to come with us, and we’re going to bring his sister Evie and Kyra. It will make things appear more like a visit instead of a team mission, which it isn’t. Brooklynn
thought it would make your clan members feel more at ease with us there. As her mate, Carran is going to try to join us as well.”
“That will be great. We don’t have any children among us now so having Evie and Kyra there will no doubt bring a joy to some of the members.” She glanced down at Kyra. “You, little one, are going to love Rachel. She loves to be in her tigress form, and I know how much you love playing with the kitties.”
“My sister has a way with kids. She’ll no doubt love having Kyra around.” Sparks nodded. “It will be nice to have time to get to know you and the others better as well.”
Kyra wiggled in Ambrose’s arms, wanting to be put down. “Okay, sweetie.” Adjusting Kyra again, he turned back to Merrie. “You’ve made an impact on all of us here, so keep in touch. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”
“I won’t.” She nodded.
Ambrose’s gaze shifted to Sparks. “Take care of her.”
“Always.” Sparks pulled her against his chest until her back was snug against him. “I’ve waited a long time for her, and I plan to spend the rest of my life proving to her how much she means to me.”
“We’ll take care of each other.” She glanced up at him as Ambrose strolled off to his cabin. “We’re in this together, remember?”
“Never doubted it.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head, leaving behind a soft kiss. “Let’s get back in there.”
“I thought maybe there were other ways we could spend the evening.”
“Don’t tempt me.” His voice was rough, holding a hint of his beast as he stepped back, ending the embrace. “Tabitha was looking for you, which is why I came out. I think we’ve made her wait long enough.”
“You knew about this party, didn’t you?”
“Me?” His eyes widened as if shocked she’d accuse him of such a thing, but the smile on his face gave him away.
“You did.” She shook her head and slipped her hand into his. “Admit it.”
“They might have said something about getting you down to the dining hall after we were finished with Korbin’s call.” With his hand in hers he strolled toward the door that would lead them back inside. “It proves what an impact you have on those around you. Even in a short time, you’ve come to mean something to those here, and I have no doubt they’d welcome you into the clan if you chose not to go back to Ohio.”
“I might still be nervous, but my decision is made.” She paused as his fingers wrapped around the door handle. “I think I finally understand why you worked hard to prove yourself to Korbin. You wanted to be part of moving the clan into the future. Now I want it, too.”
“There you are.” Tabitha called to them as they entered. “I was starting to wonder if we overwhelmed you, and you sought sanctuary in your room.”
“No.” She shot Tabitha a smile. “I needed a little air, that’s all. Then Sparks found me, and we were talking.”
“Things are starting to wind down, and Ty and I wanted to talk to you before you slipped off.” Tabitha gaze drifted over the others still in the dining hall until she found Ty. “Why don’t we step into the kitchen. It will give us a little privacy, and Ty will join us there.”
“Sure. Umm…is something wrong?” As if realizing she needed reassurance Sparks squeezed her hand.
“Not at all.” Tabitha glanced at Sparks. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“Thanks.” Though he smiled at Tabitha, there was something about his tone that made Merrie believe he hadn’t planned on leaving her. Even though she was safe, and they were on Tabitha’s home turf, he was sticking with her either way.
Moments later, they were standing in the commercial kitchen off the dining hall. Even now with the room empty, it was clear it was large enough to give everyone space to work to prepare the meals for the clan. She leaned against the counter, keeping Sparks next to her as she waited to find out why Tabitha pulled her aside.
“We could have done this in the conference room.” Ty said as he strolled toward them.
“This was closer, and we only need a minute.” Tabitha glanced at her mate before holding out her arm to him.
Merrie wanted to say something, to ask what this was about, but she stood there silently. Ty neared Tabitha and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as she looped hers around his back. Mated shifters preferred to be touching, as it calmed their beast. She hadn’t realized it until then, she’d been that way with Sparks over the years as well. Whenever they were near, it was hard not to share a touch. Yet, she never suspected their bond.
“You’ve come a long way from the scared woman who showed up here a few weeks ago.” Ty’s fingers teased over Tabitha’s shoulder as he spoke, while his gaze was on Merrie. “You should be proud of what you accomplished, but you must also realize your fight isn’t over. Removing yourself from the triggers surrounding you in Ohio gave you time to process what happened. It’s also what helped Harmony overcome her time spent with Henry. She’s not willing to go back. Unlike you she didn’t have the connections to the other members, so she considers the life she had there over. She’s made a fresh start here in Alaska. Whereas you want to return and that means you’ll have to face the triggers head on.”
“With Sparks by your side, I believe you can overcome them.” Tabitha’s gaze drifted to the man in question before turning back to her. “It’s up to you if you form the mating before you leave. Don’t think anyone is pressuring you. I bring it up because if you choose not to do it before you leave here you won’t have that extra support. He won’t immediately know what’s going on with you, you’ll need to talk to him. If you don’t share this with him, it will make this worse.”
“What do you mean worse?” Merrie questioned.
“His tiger will know something is wrong and will be on edge, making your tigress more unsettled,” Ty explained. “We want to help our mate even before the mating bond is fused between us. Don’t allow this to drive a wedge between the two of you.”
“Surely that’s not the only reason you pulled us aside.” Sparks eyed Ty.
“You’re right.” Ty nodded. “Merrie, I’m happy you want to go back to Ohio. After speaking with Korbin and Layla earlier, it reaffirmed they need you there. You’ll be a great asset to the Elders team there.”
“We want you to know if it ever gets to be too much you’re always welcome here. For a visit or permanently. I don’t want you going back to Ohio thinking you’re stuck there.” Tabitha glanced to her mate. “I think it’s safe to say we’d welcome you both here in Alaska if you decide this is the better place for you.”
“I…uh…I really appreciate it but…” Nervous Merrie sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.
“No pressure.” Ty assured her. “We didn’t want you to leave without knowing there will always be a place for you. There’s no shame in admitting things are rough. We don’t want you to let things get so out of control Korbin has to make the decision again.”
“I won’t and thank you.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. “I’m going to miss everyone here. You opened your home to me when I was on the brink of going rogue, and that means more to me than I can put into words. I could have brought more problems to your clan, and you risked them to save me.”
Sparks pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her waist, surrounding her completely with his tiger and allowing her to know she wasn’t alone any longer.
“Through Korbin, you’re family, and we fight for our own.” Ty glanced down at his mate. “Come on, Tabby.”
“We’ll see you in the morning before you leave.” Tabitha told them before turning and following her mate back to the dining hall.
“Sugar.” Sparks leaned down and nuzzled her neck. “You okay?”
“Fine.” Putting her hands over his where they were still around her waist, she relaxed against him. “Let’s go back to my room. We should…”
“There’s no rush. We can wait until we’re home,” he whispered against
her neck.
He might be willing to wait but she wasn’t sure her tigress was. The need for him to claim her clawed at her until she thought she was going to press him up against the wall and straddle his waist. She had no doubt he was feeling it too, but he’d rather deny himself than pressure her. My sweet mate thinks I’m the one with compassion. He has it in spades.
Chapter Seven
Back in Merrie’s room, the sexual energy sizzled between them until she thought she’d burst into flames. Her tigress lingered under the skin, urging her on, the need seeped into every cell of her body. She wanted this, so why did it make her nervous? She knew Sparks. He’s the man she’s wanted for years and now was her time to claim him as her mate.
Sparks came up behind her, his fingers teased along the curve of her hip in barely-there caresses, yet it put her on edge, making her want his hands stroking along other parts of her body.
“Sugar.” His breath tickled along her skin, making her lean back against his body. “I can leave.”
“Leave?” She cocked her head to the side to look back at him.
“I can feel your tigresses demands, but if you’re not ready…” Even as he spoke, his hand slid up her hip before pushing her sweater aside to touch her bare skin. “Ty has another room for me. It’s right across the hall, but the distance might relieve some of this need. Or I’m sure he has somewhere else I can stay.”
“No.” She spun toward him and looped her arms around his waist. “There’s only one thing that’s going to ease this, and it’s not distance, it’s you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I fantasized about this. I tried to stop but…”
“Why?” Sliding his hands along her back, he cocked an eyebrow at her. “Damn Mer, you’ve occupied my dreams every night.”
“Dreaming about someone you can’t have is heartbreaking.” Clutching the front of his shirt, she tugged, pulling it from the waist of his jeans. “Enough talk. I want this.”
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