by Lisa Bilbrey
“We were starting to think you weren’t coming,” Lydia fretted, reaching up to cup her face, but pulling her hands back immediately. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Elle said, trying not to let her irritation show. She wasn’t fine, but she didn’t need for everyone to continuously ask her how she was, either.
“Hmm, good, good,” Lydia prattled, and Elle knew she wasn’t convinced. Turning to Callum, she narrowed her eyes. “Let me see your phone.”
“What?” Callum laughed, though when his mother lifted her hand in the air and crossed it in front of her, like she was about to backhand him, he sobered up and dug his phone out of his pocket, nearly thrusting it toward her. “What the hell, Mom?”
Lydia didn’t say anything as she took the device. Elle couldn’t see what she was doing, but a moment later, her own phone starting ringing. Lydia slipped her slim phone out of her back pocket and held it up next to Callum’s, shifting her attention to her son.
“Thought maybe your phone was broken,” she tittered. “You know, seeing as you didn’t call, and let me know you weren’t lying in a ditch somewhere dead, or …,” Lydia’s eyes shifted to Elle, “… worse.”
“Mom,” Callum groaned, snatching his phone out of his mother’s hand. “I’m sorry we didn’t call. Traffic coming from the freeway was crazy,” he lied. For a Wednesday, traffic had been extraordinarily light.
“Yeah, yeah; whatever.” Lydia turned her attention to Derek and Sadie, both of whom looked abashed. “Do I even need to check your phones?”
“No,” they grumbled together.
“We’re sorry,” Sadie added. “But we’re here now, so let’s eat.” And then placing her hand on her stomach, she added, “I’m starving.”
“Of course,” Lydia turned and gestured for them to follow her into the kitchen. “Just need a few more minutes to finish preparing the chicken for the grill.”
“Okay.”
Elle hung back, needing a moment to calm down. It wasn’t until Samuel cleared his throat that she realized he hadn’t followed the others into the backyard. Tall and thin, with soft blond hair and large blue eyes, Samuel was a handsome man. He’d been the push she needed to declare architecture as her major in college. When the chance came to work with him on the Alvarez Park program, she had jumped at it. Samuel was more than just her boss and friend, though. He’d been the one to save her life.
It was a sheer stroke of luck that Samuel had stopped by the office that morning. He come in to get caught up on paperwork while Lydia was shopping. He told Elle that he wasn’t sure why he felt the need to walk around the floor and check everything out, just that when he stepped off the elevator, an overwhelming urge struck him. When he saw the door to Elle, Sadie, Callum, and Derek’s office open, he knew immediately that something was wrong, but nothing had prepared him for the sight of her laid on the floor, two gunshot wounds, and a pool of blood under her, or so he said, anyway.
Elle had lost consciousness. She remembered Trixie pointing the gun at her for the second time, and then nothing until she woke up in the hospital three days later. Derek, Callum, and Sadie were crowded around her bed, each of them with a hand somewhere on her body. The pain was unbelievable. Her chest hurt, breathing was impossible, and the sound of the trigger being pulled rang loudly inside her head.
And then the wound on her leg became infected and she had to have a second surgery to clear out the damaged tissue. Elle spent two months in the hospital, and another six week in intense physical therapy. And now, she was expected to go on with her life like nothing had happened.
“You know Lydia means well,” Samuel said, drawing her attention to him. He stood next to the brick fireplace, one hand gripping the edge of the mantle. Being the middle of June, it was too warm for a fire. “You look like shit.”
“I know,” Elle said. “Feel like it, too.”
“Leg still hurting?” he asked.
Elle shrugged her shoulders. “More of a dull ache. It’s not too bad.”
Samuel nodded, and shifted his eyes away from her. “I wondered, you know, because you were supposed to come back to work today, but didn’t.”
Elle sighed, unsure of what to say. Yeah, she knew she needed to go back to work, to get her head out of her ass and stop being afraid.
“I’m not trying to rush you,” Samuel insisted, turning toward her. “I’m really not, but you can’t keep hiding at home, either.”
“I know,” she groused.
“Have you talked to your parents lately?” he asked, and Elle inhaled a sharp breath.
Her relationship with her parents had always been volatile. Especially after Helina and James Reid discovered Elle’s relationship with Sadie, Derek, and Callum.
Helina and James had never hidden their disgust with homosexuality, declaring on more than a few occasions that it was a sin and against God’s rules. Elle and Sadie had hidden their relationship from both of their parents for ten years. Then, on the day of her sister’s wedding, Elle and Sadie were caught in the midst of an intimate moment. Accusations were slung, feelings were sliced to pieces, and Elle was disowned, thrown away like yesterday’s trash. Only Ivy, her sister supported her relationship with not just Sadie, but Callum and Derek, too.
For months, Elle struggled to keep from falling apart, struggled not to let herself dwell over her parents’ hatred of her and who she was. Then, on Christmas Eve, Helina and James showed up with Claudia and Bruce Williams by their side. They begged the two women to give them another chance, pleaded for forgiveness, and Elle had tried, but she found it difficult to let go of twenty-six years of being treated like the throw-away daughter. And after Trixie shot her and left her to die, Elle fought against their love even more.
“They’ve called, haven’t they?” Samuel pushed.
Elle nodded.
“Have you talked to them?” he asked again.
“A little,” she admitted, shifting her eyes to his. “They keep dropping hints that they can be on the first flight here. Just gotta say the word, you know?”
“And you don’t want them to?” he questioned.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what I want.”
Before Samuel could say anything more, Lydia yelled, “The chicken isn’t going to grill themselves, Sam!”
Laughing, he gave Elle a look before pushing away from the fireplace and rushing through the house. A moment later, she heard the backdoor shut. Elle tightened her grip on her cane before she followed him, knowing her lovers would be checking on her if she didn’t and they worried enough without her adding more onto their shoulders. How much more could she ask them to deal with?
Two
Elle felt the bed shift behind her as Sadie groaned.
“Oh, my God, don’t stop.”
When she looked over her shoulder, she saw Sadie laying on her back with Callum kneeling between her legs, two fingers deep inside her pussy while Derek was next to them, his hand wrapped around Callum’s cock.
Elle bit her lip as she rolled onto her other side and watched them touching each other. She brought her hand to her chest, placing her palm directly over her heart. She’d always enjoyed watching the three of them together. They moved effortlessly, always seeming to know what the others needed.
“Come here,” Derek ordered, pulling Elle’s attention to him.
Keeping one hand wrapped around Callum’s shaft, he reached for her with his other hand. The urge to wrap her fingers around his was overwhelming, but before she could move her fingers to the hem of her T-shirt and strip it off, a sharp twinge radiated throughout her leg. Her constant reminder of her failure.
Shaking her head, she shifted so that she was sitting on the side of the bed. Elle gripped her cane and stood up, trying hard to keep from wincing from the pain filling her leg. Mornings were always the hardest time for her. Her muscles were always stiff and tense.
“I need coffee,” she muttered, unable to keep the regret from lacing her words.<
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“Elle, baby, join us,” Derek said, but once again, she shook her head.
Without a look back, Elle hobbled out of the room, downstairs, and into the kitchen. She grabbed her favorite cup from the cabinet and poured herself some coffee, adding cream and sugar before stumbling to the table and sitting down. She leaned her cane against the edge and dropped her hand onto her leg, rubbing against the soreness that always plagued her.
She hadn’t been sitting there for long when the door to the kitchen opened and Callum walked into the room. He smiled and walked over to the coffee and pouring himself a cup. Then, coming to her, he placed his cup on the table before sitting in the chair next to her, grabbed her leg, and placed it on his lap. He slid his hands up to her thigh and began massaging the damaged tissue.
“How bad is it this morning?” he asked.
“Five. Maybe a six,” she replied, thinking about the pain chart she’d used in the hospital.
Ten little smiley faces ranging from one to ten. One being no pain and all smiles and giggles, while ten was pure agony. She’d spent weeks at a ten, barely able to make it through one day without sobbing and begging for the pain to stop. But nothing helped. Not the meds, not the therapy, not even the touch of her lovers. The pain was always there, always ready to stop her in her tracks, always reminding her of how her life had been shattered.
Callum nodded, his fingers sliding up and down her leg.
“Where are Derek and Sadie?” Elle asked, and when he looked at her, she noticed the twinge of pink around his ears.
“Shower,” he replied.
“Ah,” she murmured. “Why didn’t you join them?” she asked, placing her hand on top of his and bringing his fingers up to her nose. She could smell Sadie’s pussy on him, and she almost snaked her tongue out and licked her taste off of them.
“I needed coffee first,” he lied. They both knew the words trickling out of his mouth were untrue, but she wouldn’t call him on his fib.
Callum leaned back in his seat and picked up his cup, talking a sip. “It’s good, by the way.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you hungry?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
Elle sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth as she nodded. “A little.”
“What do you want? Eggs? Pancakes? Waffles?”
“Um.” She paused as she thought it over. “A chocolate donut. No, one of Felicia’s homemade cinnamon rolls. Wait, I want —”
Callum laughed. “Are you sure you’re not the pregnant one? You have more cravings than Sadie!”
Elle frowned.
“I didn’t mean that as a bad thing,” he insisted, leaning forward and reaching for her hand, but she pulled hers away. “Elle.”
“No, apparently I’m being hormonal.”
“I didn’t say that,” he argued.
“Sure you did,” she snarked, grabbing her cane and standing up. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just have some cereal.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he insisted, standing up and placing his hands on her hips. He tugged her back against him, and she barely managed to stifle her moan. He was hard, pressed against her back. “I promise.”
Elle hummed, but didn’t say anything else. She was being ridiculous. Callum would never hurt her on purpose, and she was being silly.
Callum sighed and pressed his lips against the side of her neck. “I worry about you.”
“I’m fine.” The words were hollow and fake, filled with an emptiness that she couldn’t deny because she was anything but fine.
“So you say, but yet, I can tell that you’re pissed,” he argued, keeping his lips firmly against her skin. “Please, just talk to me.”
Her lips trembled. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” she whispered, shocked by how vulnerable she sounded.
“Why didn’t you join us this morning?” he asked.
Elle’s shoulders tensed.
“I miss touching you.”
“I miss you touching me, too,” she admitted, and guilt filled her. She was losing him, losing all three of them, and all because she couldn’t let go of her anger.
Callum slid his hand around to her stomach, flattening his palm before slipping it into her pants. As his hand traveled south, Elle’s breathing became thick and she struggled to keep from turning to goo.
“Can I love you?” he whispered.
“I … I …” She trailed off, but before she could say anything more, the door to the kitchen opened and she pulled herself out of Callum’s arms as Derek and Sadie stumbled inside. They were laughing as they shifted their attention from her to Callum and back, their smiles slowly floating away. “Sorry. I … I …”
Once more, she trailed off as she stumbled across the kitchen, pushed her way between Sadie and Derek, and out of the kitchen. Her heart was racing as she hobbled across the room to the stairs. With tears burning inside her eyes, she attempted to go upstairs, but just as she placed her foot on the fifth step, her leg gave out on her and she fell. A loud scream erupted from her chest as she hit each step, before finally stopping on the cold, hardwood floor.
“Elle!” Sadie cried out, rushing from the kitchen with Derek and Callum behind her. “Oh, my God!”
“I hate this!” Elle screamed, throwing her cane at the wall. “Why? Why me? Why go after me? What did I do to her?”
“Nothing,” Derek said, sliding to the floor next to her and wrapping his arms around her. “You did nothing. She’s crazy, Elle. Don’t you understand that?”
Elle shook her head. “No, I had to have done something. First Leo, and now Trixie. I just …”
“You what?” Sadie asked, and when she tried to pull away, she reached out and placed her hands on either side of Elle’s face, holding her still. “You just what?”
“I feel broken.” Her confession had her aching. Too much of their relationship had been focused on her. First with her reluctance to turn a one-night stand into something more, and then with the dramatic way her parents reacted to news of their relationship. Now, just when she thought everything was finally going to work out of them, Trixie came barreling in and put a huge kink in everything.
“Hey, you’re not broken,” Sadie smoothed.
Elle snorted.
“You’re not. Maybe you’re a little rough around the edges, but you’re not broken, my love.”
Elle whimpered. “I wanted to taste you this morning. It’s been so long, but I still remember how good you taste. But before I could move, my leg hurt. And it always hurts. Always. And I knew I wouldn’t enjoy it, and if I didn’t enjoy it, you wouldn’t enjoy it.” Elle shifted her eyes up to Sadie’s. “Would you?”
“Probably,” she admitted, smiling sheepishly. “But you could have said something instead of just leaving. We would never force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But just leaving like that — that makes us feel like we’ve done something to upset you. Don’t you know how much we love you?”
“And I love you. All of three of you, but I’m tired of always hurting, of always having to be the downer. I guess I figured that you would be together, and at least I didn’t have to watch with envy.”
“But we want you with us,” Callum argued, sliding his hand on top of Derek’s, which was resting on her thigh. “You’re a part of us, Elle.”
“But I can’t be with you like that,” she argued. “I want to have sex. I want it bad, but I always hurt.”
“You act like we’re asking you to put your legs behind your head,” Derek scoffed. “You can have sex without being in some awkward position. You’ve done it before.”
“I know,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize again. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Callum placed his hand on top of Sadie’s. “Just tell us when it hurts, when you feel like this. That’s all we asked.”
“I’ll try,” she murmured.
“Good,” Derek said. “Now, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself whe
n you fell?”
“I’m fine,” she grumbled. “More embarrassed than anything. Injured my pride, or whatever.”
“Well, your pride is in good hands with us,” Derek laughed, standing up and helping her to her feet. He kept his arm around her waist while Callum retrieved her cane. “Now, you ready to tackle those pesky stairs again?”
Elle bit her lip. “I don’t know. Maybe I need some caveman-style rescue.”
“Caveman-style?” he asked, his forehead furrowing.
“You know, you throwing me over your shoulder and dragging me off to your cave,” she explained.
“Hmm, okay, if that’s what you want.” And before she could protest, Derek swooped her up and laid her over his shoulder. Then, placing one hand on the back of her legs, and the other planted directly on her ass, he said, “You ready, beautiful?”
“Yes!” she squealed, wrapping her arms around him. He ran her upstairs and gently tossed her onto their bed. “Thank you, lover.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, softly as he brought his hand up to her face. “I love you, Elle.”
“I love you, too.”
“Oy, lovebirds, time to get ready for work,” Sadie snickered, opening their closet and tossing some clothes onto the bed next to Elle.
And just like that, the butterflies in Elle’s stomach returned. Today, for the first time in four months, she was returning to the office, and she was terrified.
—FA—
An hour and a half later, they were parked in front of the Davis Architecture and Design. Elle had done everything she could to stall them that morning; took an extra-long shower, spent twenty minutes trying to decide what to wear, made herself, Derek, Callum, and Sadie eggs and toast. After all, they needed a good breakfast, but in the end, Sadie put her tiny foot down and declared it time to go.
During the twenty minute drive from their house to the office, Elle struggled to keep her breakfast down, struggled to keep the tears that burned her eyes from falling, and struggled against the urge to beg them to take her back home. She knew it was stupid, but the last time she found herself inside that building, she almost died. And now, they were parked out front, and she still couldn’t get the strength to actually get out of the car.