Gabriel’s dark brows were knitted with anger and concern. “Jonah, they’re both worried about you.”
He snorted with derision. “Don’t let them fool you, Gabe. They enjoyed the show.”
“They were looking out for you, asshole.”
“So they were babysitting me? How sweet,” he drawled, lips twisted in a mocking smile. “Did they happen to mention that their dicks were hard the entire time?”
“Their fucking hard-ons are irrelevant,” Gabe bit out, scowling down at him, “because they didn’t have any intention of touching her. They were worried about both of you, and they don’t want you screwing it up with her!”
He gave another bitter laugh that tasted like shit in his mouth. “Yeah, well, I think it’s safe to say that that ship has already sailed.”
Scraping a hand over the hard line of his jaw, Gabe asked, “Why the hell did you do it?”
He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he tilted his head back against the cool glass, staring up at the ceiling, and debated whether or not to tell his best friend the truth.
“Jonah, damn it, why?”
“She went down to get us some coffee and it was taking a while, so I thought I’d go down and help.” He grimaced and let out a sharp, explosive sigh. “Actually, I was trying to work up the courage to ask her out to dinner, and needed to get it over with before I lost my nerve. It was pathetic. And when I got down there, I saw her standing over by the fountain, laughing with Lucas.”
“Jesus Christ,” Gabe muttered. “You idiot.”
Yeah, jealousy was a bitch and a bastard, and he’d been thoroughly screwed by it.
“Look, I know, okay? I’m a moron. But I didn’t like the way Lucas was looking at her.” He frowned as he lowered his head, staring at the blank space of flooring between his bent legs, his forearms draped over his knees. “Actually, I didn’t like the way I felt about Lucas looking at her.”
“And exactly how was that?” Gabe demanded, pinning him with a hard stare as he looked back up at the guy who was like a brother to him.
“Come on, Gabe. How do you think? I’ve been trying to fuck her for weeks,” he ground out, his breath roughening, “and then she’s all smiles for him, laughing with him. She looks tired every morning. The bastard’s probably been nailing her every night!”
Gabriel looked as if he wanted nothing more than to knock some sense into him. “She isn’t screwing Lucas, you jackass. She’s…”
“She’s what?” he demanded, when the guy’s deep voice trailed off.
“Jesus, you don’t deserve an easy way out of this. Just go to her and tell her you’re sorry you had your head up your ass.”
“I can’t,” he muttered with frustration. “I have no clue where she lives, because she never told me. And her employment file is marked as confidential for some dumbass reason, which means only HR can access it. I tried to pull it up earlier this week.”
“Why?”
Jonah arched his brows. “Why do you think? I wanted some answers.”
Lifting a hand to the back of his neck, Gabe pulled in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then slowly let it out. “I know about the file,” he said in a low voice, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “I also know where Jocelyn lives.”
Jonah sat up a little straighter. “What? How?”
“Because it’s come up in conversation between her and Denny,” Gabe explained, looking a little grim. “And it was Denny who asked for the file to be made confidential.”
“What the hell? I thought Denny wanted me with Jocelyn!”
Gabriel nodded. “She does. But she didn’t want you going to her place until you were ready.”
“You mean she didn’t trust me, right? She thought I’d make the wrong move and fuck my chances?” He gave a harsh laugh and shook his head. “You’ve got a smart woman, Gabe. Too bad she wasn’t here this morning to keep everything from going up in flames.”
“You know on that night—the night that changed my life,” Gabe said, staring down at him from under his lowered brows, “I told Denny that looking to the future was a bad road for me to be on. And you called bullshit, Jonah. You told me I was wrong. Said I was a coward if I refused to take that road.”
“It’s not the same,” he argued, his jaw tight and his nostrils flared as his pulse started to rush through his veins. “You and Denny actually had a chance at making something work.”
“It’s exactly the fucking same!” Gabe growled, jabbing a finger at him. “Stop letting that bitch ruin your life. Valerie Johnson is old news. She doesn’t matter. She’s just a damn page in a book that you closed a long time ago. And you’re letting the bitch win!”
“I know…I know, okay? I fucking know!” he roared, the words tearing up from his throat before he’d even known they were coming. Chest rising and falling like a bellows, he scrubbed both hands down his face, trying to keep it together. But his heart was pounding so hard he thought it might burst through his ribs, and the backs of his eyes were burning.
Gabe crouched down in front of him, his voice quiet as he asked, “What do you want, Jonah? Take a minute, and then be honest and say what it really is that you want.”
“I don’t need a minute,” he said on a harsh exhalation, shoving his hands back through his hair. “I already know. I want Jocelyn. But I don’t even know if I can do it—if I can have a…normal relationship. And I’ve screwed it up from the beginning. She wants nothing to do with me now.”
“Then fight for her.”
He snorted, wishing it were that simple.
“I’m not being funny. Fucking. Fight. For. Her.”
He sucked in a deep breath, and looked Gabe right in the eye. “You really think that could work?”
“I think it can’t hurt to try,” Gabe said, standing up and walking to Jonah’s desk. Picking up a pen and tearing off a small piece of notebook paper that he found in a side drawer, he scribbled something down and then returned, handing him the paper as he added, “That’s why I’m giving you this.”
Jonah read the address Gabe had written down, then finally got back on his feet. His ass was numb from sitting on the floor for so long, but adrenaline was pounding through his system, and he felt lighter than he had in days. “Her place is only a few blocks from mine.”
Gabe lifted his brows. “I know.”
“Thanks, man,” he said, holding out his hand. “I owe you one.”
Grabbing his hand and tugging him close, Gabe pounded him hard on the back. “Friends don’t keep a score sheet,” he muttered, before releasing him and giving him a sharp look. “But do me a favor and don’t even think about going over there until you’ve cleaned up first. You smell like a distillery.”
“Yeah. You’re right,” he rasped, rubbing his jaw. He was sober, but Gabe was right about him needing a shower. He even had some clean clothes he could change into in the garment bag hanging in his office bathroom.
Gabe turned and strode toward the door. With his hand on the handle, he looked back over his shoulder, and Jonah had a feeling he was going to tell him something important. But then he just shook his head a little and pulled the door open. “I’m trusting you to do the right thing, man. Don’t make me regret it.”
CHAPTER THREE
It was only by a sheer act of God that Jonah had managed to find parking near Jocelyn’s building. It was already after seven in the evening, and the streets were lined with cars, but he timed it just as a young couple looked like they were leaving for dinner.
He squeezed the Audi into a tight space, then blew out a rough breath, his stomach in knots. He still had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he knew that whatever it was, he’d better make it good.
After the stunt he’d pulled that morning, he’d have to make it fucking perfect.
Heading inside, he made his way over to a modest bank of elevators, taking in everything around him with a critical eye. The building was nice, but nothing fancy. Not nearly upscale enough f
or someone like Jocelyn. She deserved better. Deserved the best of everything. Which meant he was going to have to stop acting like such a tool and man up.
The elevator ride up to the fourth floor was short, and within a minute he was standing in front of her apartment door. Straightening his tie, he sucked in a deep breath for courage and rapped his knuckles against the door. There was the muted sound of a television playing inside, and he strained to catch the sound of her footsteps, his heart beating as hard and as loud as a base drum.
He knew she’d looked through the peephole when her low voice came through the door. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” And then, a bit more loudly, she hissed, “Go away!”
Giving that little peephole a hard stare, Jonah braced his hands on either side of the doorframe. “I can’t do that,” he husked. “Just let me in, baby. We need to talk.”
She gave a bitter laugh. “Like hell we do.”
“Jace, seriously. Let me in. I’m sorry I acted like a dick today, but I’m not leaving until we talk.”
“I’m not joking. Go away, Mr. Cartwright.”
“Christ, woman,” he ground out. “Don’t even think of going back to that last name crap.”
“Who cares what I call you? I don’t want to have to call you anything. You’re an asshole and an idiot. And you’re cruel! So please, for the last time, just go away. I’m not playing your stupid games anymore.”
His hands curled into fists against the doorframe, and he licked his lips, sure he could feel his pulse in them. It was beating hard in every part of his body, thumping loudly in his ears. “I know. I know,” he repeated, still feeling the burn of her calling him cruel stinging between his ribs, as if she’d jabbed him with a blade. “But I don’t want to play that game. Not anymore. I…I want a rematch with something new. I want a second chance.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” The barely audible words were thick with shock.
“You think I would be standing here, begging at your door, if this was a joke?”
“You don’t deserve a second chance.” Soft, but firm words, and he fucking hated how true they were.
“I know. God, I know. I’m a complete shit. But I’m begging you to give me one anyway, Jace.”
The silence stretched out until he felt like the strain might snap him in half. And then, so quietly he almost didn’t catch it, she said, “I can’t.”
If he’d honestly thought she meant that, he would have forced himself to put her needs first and marched his ass out of there. But she didn’t sound like a woman who wanted nothing to do with him. No, she sounded like one who was pissed and hurt, as she damn well should be, and who was scared of giving him the opportunity to hurt her again. Which meant it was up to him to convince her to give him that second chance, and then make sure he didn’t throw it away. That he manned up and grabbed at the miracle of her, before some other man who was better and kinder and wiser came along and claimed her, leaving him to spend his life buried in meaningless pussy, caring about nothing and no one.
Racking his brain, he looked to his right, down the hallway, and finally got an idea. One that sure as hell wasn’t going to win him any immediate points with her, but might at least get him through the door. Looking right at the peephole, he said, “Don’t make me embarrass you, sweetheart.”
“I’m not making you do anything. Just go away!”
“Fine, have it your way. There’s a cute little old lady stepping off the elevator at the end of the hall. Is she your neighbor? Should I tell her you just fucked me and kicked me out because I wasn’t rough enough for you?”
An audible gasp, and then, “You wouldn’t dare!”
“I’m sure I could come up with a good bondage scene to describe to her. What do you think she’d do if I mentioned handcuffs and anal beads?”
Something thumped against the door that sounded like her open palm, and then she wrenched it open, looking as if she’d enjoy nothing more than kicking him in the balls. He reached down to protect himself, just in case she actually acted on the impulse.
“No need to do me bodily harm,” he murmured, still covering his junk as he slid in past her. They were standing in a small, but long hallway, and as she shut the door, he raked her incredible little body with a greedy gaze, drinking in the sight of her. She was dressed casually in a pink cotton tank top and denim shorts, showing so much skin he couldn’t help but stare. Christ, she was gorgeous. Even her feminine little feet were sexy.
At her soft cough, he realized he’d been caught eye-fucking her and quickly lifted his gaze back to her narrowed one. “What in the hell are you doing here?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her generous breasts as she glared up at him.
“I, uh, came to ask you a question.”
“How do you even know where I live?”
Ignoring that second question, he said, “So what I’m wondering is this: Do you, um, have any anal beads?”
Her eyes went wide, and then she shook her head as a reluctant laugh slipped past her lips. “I’m afraid not.” Shaking off the brief burst of humor, she pulled in a deep breath and tightened her jaw. “Do you know what this is?”
“This?”
“This is a reminder.”
“A reminder?” he echoed, beginning to sound like a goddamn parrot.
“Yeah,” she said, gesturing at his body with her hand. “A reminder not to be taken in by charm and a handsome face.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m as ugly as a dog and as charming as a rat.”
“Nice try.” She slowly shook her head from side to side. “God, you must think I’m so stupid if you believe you can just come here like this, being all cute, after what happened today.”
“I joke when I get nervous,” he blurted, feeling his face get warm. Christ, now she had him blushing. “You know I’m just messing around with you.”
“Don’t I ever,” she huffed.
Okay, now he was blushing and wincing. “Come on, Jocelyn. Are you going to turn everything that comes out of my mouth against me?”
“Jonah, whatever you’re here for,” she murmured, casting a quick look down the hallway, the sound of a TV coming from somewhere in the apartment, “this isn’t a good time. You really need to go.”
Stepping closer to her, he said, “Look, I fucked up, okay? I know that. And I’m… God, Jace, I’m fucking sorry. I honestly hadn’t planned for any of that to happen, and if I could take back all that bullshit that I spouted, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
She caught her lower lip in her teeth and sucked in a sharp breath.
He kept going, feeling like he was pleading for his life. “I know I acted like a jackass. And I don’t have an excuse. I just… I’m screwed up, okay?” he muttered, shoving a hand back through his hair. “I know that. The only explanation I have is that I’m…I’m fucking crazy about you, and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“Jonah,” she said quietly, “you tried to kill us before we even got started.”
With panic slicing through his insides like razorblades, he lifted his hands and framed her face with them, thinking she had the softest skin in the world. Then he stopped being such a goddamn coward, and told her exactly what he was thinking. “You look at me, Jace, and it’s like I’ve never really been seen. You kiss me back when I take your mouth, and it’s like I’ve never been kissed. Something like that…it can take a bit of time for a man like me to get used to it.”
She stepped back, pulling away from his touch as she came up hard against the hallway wall.
Standing there feeling more vulnerable than he’d ever felt in his life, he said, “Jace, please. Say something.”
“Why?” she whispered, pulling that plump lip through her teeth again. “Why did you push me like that today?”
Going a little green around the gills, he said, “Because I was jealous.”
Her bright eyes went wide, and he made himself lay it all on the line.
“After you left my office this morning
to get coffee,” he forced from his tight throat, “I decided to ask you to have dinner with me tonight, so I went down to the lobby and saw you with Lucas. Saw the way he was looking at you, like he finds you as beautiful and as fascinating as I do, and I lost it. So, yeah, I’m the one who acted like a child. I did try to push you away, but only because you scare the ever-loving hell out of me.”
“I’m not interested in Lucas,” she snapped, pale brows drawn together in a little V over her beautiful eyes. “We’re just…he wants to be my friend.”
Snorting, he said, “I’ll bet he does.”
“Seriously, Jonah. All we did was talk. He wanted to apologize in person for what happened in the conference room last week.”
He scowled. “What do you mean in person?”
She looked exasperated. “What do you think I mean? He’d emailed me an apology over the weekend, but he wanted to do it face-to-face.”
“Did he now?” he grunted, thinking it was time he and Lucas sat down together and had a little talk.
“Stop being ridiculous. You have no right to be jealous. Not when you—Oh, Jesus!”
Trying not to laugh at the fact that she was staring wide-eyed at his crotch, he teased, “It’s Jonah, baby, not Jesus.”
“You’re getting hard!” she hissed, glaring up at him again.
He arched a brow, but bit his tongue. Given her mood, he didn’t think she’d appreciate it if he pointed out the fact that he usually sported wood around her.
“Get rid of it,” she ordered. “Now!”
A low laugh rumbled up from his chest. “All right. Got any suggestions for where I can put it?”
“Mommy, is someone here?”
Mommy? MOMMY?? What the ever-loving FUCK???
Jonah froze in shock at the sound of a child’s voice calling out from one of the rooms off the hallway, and then he sprang into action, both hands immediately going to his crotch to cover his rapidly deflating erection.
The Next Play: Part Two Page 3