And then, no more than ten minutes after they’d finished, someone had knocked on the hotel room door, and she’d been stunned to learn that her so-called “dream guy” had invited his brother over to join them, thinking they could take turns with her for the rest of the night. When she’d told him he was crazy, he’d slapped her across the face, and she’d realized she’d been wrong about him. Seriously, painfully wrong. That instead of a charming, good-looking genius, he was nothing more than a smarmy asshole.
“Needless to say,” she murmured, rubbing her palms over the tops of her thighs, “it was a serious wake-up call, and I didn’t waste any time getting the hell out of there, after telling the jackass that I was done working for him. Then I learned a few days later that he and his brother had died that night in a drunk-driving accident. They’d apparently gone down to the bar after I left, drank until the early hours of the morning, and then jumped into Michael’s car. Three miles from the hotel, they went off the road and into a deep ravine.” She pulled in a deep breath, then slowly exhaled as she said, “And four weeks after that, I learned that the condom that night had failed and I was pregnant.”
As she finished her story, Jonah realized he was gripping the glass he’d been drying so tightly it was close to shattering. Forcing his fingers to relax, he set the glass back down in the drainer and curled his hands over the edge of the sink with a white-knuckled grip, his voice little more than a guttural scrape of sound as he said, “Fuck, Jocelyn. I’m such a shit.”
“What—”
“This morning,” he grated, cutting her off. “If I’d known… Fuck, I never would have—”
“Jonah, stop. Nothing about this morning was the same as that night. I’m not some starry-eyed nineteen-year-old anymore, and you weren’t making me any false promises. This morning, I knew that all I had to do to put a stop to things was say stop. And when I did say it, you stopped immediately. We might have argued, and it might have been ugly, but at no time did I feel like you were trying to force me into something I didn’t want.”
He turned his head to look at her, searching her expression as she went on. “I took part in what happened this morning by choice, to see if it was something I could enjoy with you. And even though I don’t want to do it again, it wasn’t what pissed me off. What pissed me off was when I realized you were doing the whole thing not because it was hot, but to put distance between us.”
He made his way over to where she was perched on the counter, his hands pressed against the wooden countertop on either side of her hips. “I’m sorry, Jace. You know I don’t want that. You were… Fuck, you were right about everything.” He pulled in a hard breath, and his already low voice turned guttural as he said, “And if that bastard who hurt you was still alive, I’d kill the son of a bitch myself.”
Her soft lips twitched with a wry smile. “You’d have to get in line behind my dad.”
“You’ve had to raise Davey all on your own?”
“Michael’s parents wanted nothing to do with him, which was good, seeing as how they…aren’t very nice. But my parents have been amazing, and are a huge part of his life, as well as my best friend Rey and her husband and daughter. I don’t know what I would have done without all of them.”
“I want to meet them.”
She blinked. “Who?”
“Your friends and your family.”
“Oh.” She looked like she couldn’t decide if she believed him, or if she thought he was just spouting shit to get in her good graces. “And what about your family?”
“My mom took off before I was old enough to remember her. And my dad…” He thought for a moment about sugarcoating it for her, but then decided against it, figuring there was no point in trying to portray his family as anything other than the fucked-up mess that it actually was. Not if they were going to be together, and he wanted that.
God, did he want it.
There was a strange heat crawling up through his chest, settling like a rock in his throat, and he had to take a hard swallow, trying to keep his shit together, when all he really wanted was to drop to his knees, bury his face against her legs, and beg her to never leave him. But he didn’t even have her yet, so… Yeah, that was probably jumping the gun.
Getting back to her question, he said, “I care about you, which is why I would never let Carter Cartwright within fifty feet of you. I can’t stand him, and he hates my guts.”
Her reply was soft. “Oh. I’m…sorry. That’s awful.”
“Don’t be sorry. My old man might suck, but I have the best friends in the world and they’ve always been there for me. Once you get to know them better, you’ll see what I mean.”
She winced at the “get to know them better” part, and he shifted closer, needing to feel her in his arms. Standing between her legs with his hands on the upper curve of her ass and her beautiful face tipped up to his, he said, “Not like that. It won’t happen again, Jace. You told me that if I opened my eyes, I’d be able to see that I can have something real. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m finally opening my eyes and looking at what’s right in front of me.”
“Okay,” she breathed, and he could tell from the way she was looking at him just how badly she wanted to believe him.
“What’s the real reason you didn’t tell me about Davey?” he asked her, lifting one hand to tuck a soft, golden curl back behind her ear.
“Because you were only playing with me. It wasn’t real. And he’s the most important thing in my world. I don’t involve him in games.”
“Well, I still want to play with you,” he husked, leaning down and running his lips over the delicate edge of her jaw, her skin so soft he felt like he was touching a fantasy. “And do dirty-as-hell things to you—and with you. But I don’t want it to be a game, Jocelyn. That’s the last thing that I want.”
“Then tell me about you. Tell me something real,” she whispered, finally taking her hands from the counter and curling them over his shoulders.
He locked his jaw as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. Christ, he didn’t want to go down that road, because what could he say? Other than his work and his friends, which she already knew about, the only thing good in his life was her.
“Jonah,” she coaxed. “I’ve told you things tonight that no one but my family and my best friend know about me.”
“It’s not the same,” he muttered, pulling his head back and forcing himself to look her in the eye. “My past is a cesspool, Jocelyn. I don’t want any of that shit touching you.”
She waited, giving him time, but when he just stood there and didn’t say a word, she sighed, pushed him back, and slid off the counter. “I need to get Davey tucked into bed,” she tossed over her shoulder, already walking away.
“I’ll wait for you,” he ground out, knowing damn well that he’d just fucked up. But disappointing her was a hell of a lot better than exposing her to the kind of life he’d led. He’d already done enough of that in his office that morning, when he’d started spouting off about sharing her with Nic and Jack.
It’d all been bullshit, since there wasn’t a chance in hell he could stomach watching another man touch her. But she hadn’t known that, and the guilt weighing down on his shoulders was something he knew was going to be with him for a long-ass time.
Heading back into the living room, he pulled his shoes back on, and then spent some time looking at the framed photos on the walls of her and her family, more than a few of them from when she’d been carrying Davey. She’d only been nineteen when she’d gotten pregnant, and he really did wish that son of a bitch was still alive so that he could deal with him. But Jocelyn hadn’t let the bastard ruin her. Not even close.
She didn’t appear sad in the pregnancy photos, the way he would have expected—she looked…strong, like she was ready to take on the world. And the sight of her rounded little tummy… Christ, it was hot. He’d never been turned on by a pregnant woman before—not because they weren’t beautiful, but becaus
e they so clearly belonged to someone else. And despite the fact that he’d screwed around with his share of couples at Vane, he didn’t go near women who were in emotionally-committed, monogamous relationships. Ever.
But a pregnant Jocelyn Brenna was hot as fuck.
He’d worked his way around the room, and was studying the titles on one of the tall bookshelves, when she appeared in the doorway. With her hands shoved in the front pockets of her little shorts, all those golden curls tumbling over her shoulders and her pink cheeks making her look so young and innocent, she said, “It’s getting late.”
He wanted nothing more than to ask her if he could stay the night, but figured that might be pushing his luck. So he shoved his hands in his pockets too and nodded. “Yeah, I should let you get some rest.”
“You look like you could use some too,” she murmured, and despite the soft note of concern in her husky voice, he could tell that his earlier silence had sent them back a step, rather than rushing forward, the way he wanted.
With a wry smile on his lips, he gave a heavy sigh. “Yeah, it’s been a hell of a day.”
“Tell me about it,” he heard her mutter under her breath, and he frowned as he followed her to the front door, understanding only too well that he was getting kicked out.
When she reached the door, he went with his gut and came up behind her, his hands braced against the white wood on either side of her head as he leaned down. With his mouth at her ear, he said, “Before I go, say you’ll do this with me, Jace. That you’ll be with me.”
“Jonah.”
“You can trust me,” he urged, his rough voice low and fervent. “I swear, baby, I won’t screw this up.”
She didn’t try to shove him back—but she didn’t turn around either. “You’re saying that you’ll keep it in your pants while we’re…what? Dating?”
“I’m saying that the only pants I’m interested in getting into are yours,” he growled, meaning every goddamn word. “And you can call it whatever you want. Dating works for me.”
“Jonah, that’s crazy,” she whispered, her head tipping back as she finally turned around to face him. “It’s too fast.”
“Do you want me?” he demanded in a gritty rasp, keeping one hand braced against the door as he cupped the side of her face in his other one. She nodded as she bit her lip, making him want to groan. Fuck, but he loved it when she did that.
Forcing himself to stay focused on the conversation, he said, “Then just go with it. Don’t worry about the speed. Just do what feels right.”
She lifted one of those pale eyebrows in a wry arch. “That sounds like something that could lead to a lot of trouble.”
“Or a helluva good time,” he drawled with a crooked smile. But when she frowned, he realized he wasn’t doing himself any favors with the glib remarks, so he swallowed down his own nerves and just laid it on the line for her. “Look, I don’t have a goddamn clue what’s happening here, Jace. I just know that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t do everything I can to see where it goes.”
She pressed her hands against his chest, but didn’t push him away. Instead, it felt like she was trying to seek a connection with him, even as her voice cracked with emotion. “I can’t just… I have to… I have to be strong for Davey. I can’t let myself get trampled and fall apart.”
Curling his hand around the side of her throat, he kept his hooded gaze locked in hard and tight with hers. “Christ, I’m not going to trample you, baby. If anything, I’m the one who should be worried about that.”
“You?” she asked doubtfully.
“Yeah, me,” he muttered, realizing she honestly had no clue how bad he had it for her. “I just want a shot. You and me. No one else. Can you do that?”
“I can try,” she said with such a soft, worried smile that he couldn’t help but kiss her. But unlike their other kisses, this one wasn’t meant to blow her mind and get her under him. Not that he didn’t want those things, because he did. He wanted them more than he wanted his next breath. But as he brushed his lips across the tender warmth of her sweet little mouth, he just wanted to comfort her. To soothe the fear he could feel thrumming beneath her smooth skin, while soothing himself as well, because nothing ever felt as good as when he had his mouth on this beautiful girl.
Smoothing his thumb over the trembling line of her jaw, he rubbed his nose against hers, lost in her warm, luminous gaze as he said, “I’m not a perfect guy. Not even close. But I can be a good one, Jace. I know I can. Just give me a chance to prove it to you. Please. I’m fucking begging you for that chance.”
“Jonah,” she whispered, her voice quivering, “you’re scaring the hell out of me.”
“You can trust me, baby, because I won’t hurt you. I swear it on everything I am. I won’t hurt either of you.”
She sniffed as she sank her teeth into her plump lower lip, and his dick actually jerked in his jeans. But he ignored the idiot and focused on what was important. “Let me come over tomorrow,” he husked, giving her what he hoped was an imploring look, rather than just a desperate one. “In the morning. I’ll spend the day with you and Davey. Just give me a chance to prove that I can make this work.”
He held his breath, heart pounding… And then she gave him the sweetest fucking words he’d ever heard.
“All right. I’d love that.”
His breath started to leave his lungs in a sharp burst of relief, when the tender look in her beautiful green eyes went hard with warning. “But only one, Jonah. One chance. You won’t get another one.”
The smile on his lips was slow and sure…and determined as hell. “One’s all I need.”
CHAPTER FIVE
At exactly nine the next morning, Jonah’s hands were sweating as he waited for Jocelyn to open her door. He’d wracked his brain for something to do with a woman who had a child, and finally had to call his cousin Sean for some advice. Sean and his girlfriend Natalie suggested spending the morning at the San Francisco Zoo, and then maybe going out for ice cream. Jonah had never been to the zoo before—family outings hadn’t really been his father’s thing—but he’d noticed that Davey had snuggled up with a bunch of stuffed animals when he’d been watching his cartoon last night, so he hoped it was something the kid would enjoy. And who didn’t love ice cream?
Somewhere in the apartment, he could hear Jocelyn laughing at something Davey had just called out, and his own lips twitched into a smile.
Jesus, if she wanted, this woman could have him wrapped around her little finger so fucking easily. And every other beautiful, incredible part of her.
“You’re really here,” she said as she opened the door a moment later, sounding more than a little surprised to see him standing there in his chinos and casual, white button-down.
He frowned as he stepped past her. “Did you think I was going to ditch you guys?”
“Honestly?” She exhaled in an audible rush as she shut the door behind him, looking sexy as hell in a pair of jeans and white tank, her golden hair falling in silken waves around her shoulders, exactly the way he loved it. “I’m not sure I know what to think about any of this.”
He waited until she’d turned and was staring up at him, then stepped closer and pushed one hand into all that gorgeous hair, his other hand settling on the feminine curve of her waist. “I meant what I said last night, Jocelyn. Every word.”
Worry shadowed her gaze as she searched his eyes. “I just thought you might wake up this morning, wonder what the hell you’d been thinking, and decide to bail before things got complicated.”
He gave a slow shake of his head, then smiled down at her. “I’ve lived for a long fucking time without anything even remotely complicated when it comes to relationships. I think it’s time for a change.”
An answering smile ghosted her lips, and then she took a deep breath, reached up to grab his hand, and pulled him along behind her as she headed into the living room. “Would you like some coffee?” she asked, letting go of him to cle
ar some of Davey’s toys off the sofa.
“I’d love some.”
With a soft flush of pink on her cheeks, as if just being in the same room with him got her flustered, she said, “Grab a seat and I’ll be right back.”
“Need some help?” he asked, not wanting to let her out of his sight.
She laughed a little, as if she knew just how desperate he was—though, in reality, she was probably just nervous. “I got it. You just kick back and relax.” Her head tilted a bit to the side, and the smile she gave him was teasing. “You do know how to relax, don’t you, Mr. Big Shot?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he’d find licking her sweet little pussy for hours on end relaxing as hell, but he choked it back and decided not to rock the boat too soon. He’d only just made it through the door—last thing he wanted was to get kicked out before he got to spend the day with her and Davey. So he settled his ass on the sofa and gave her a “See, I’m the most chill person you know” look that had her softly laughing under her breath as she took off for the kitchen.
Jonah couldn’t resist turning his head and watching her round, jeans-covered ass as she walked away, then braced his elbows on his knees and scrubbed his hands over his face. Davey’s little laugh came from somewhere in the back of the apartment, the quiet sounds of Jocelyn putting on the coffee in the kitchen reaching his ears, and the reality of where he was—and who he was with—hit him so hard it felt like a physical punch.
I cannot fuck this up, he lectured himself, shoving his hands back through his hair as he tipped his chin down and exhaled a ragged breath.
Last summer, if he’d had to name the most emotional experience of his life, the night he’d shared Denny with Gabe would have been the first thing that came into his head. And at the time, yeah, it’d been sweet. There’d been genuine affection and emotion there, which he’d felt in such sharp contrast to the soulless screwing he did for the crowds at Vane.
The Next Play: Part Two Page 5