Or maybe he just likes you, for exactly who you are, an exasperated voice lectured inside her head, and she had to bite her lip to keep from smiling, hoping that the mystery voice was right. Because out of those three options, that last one was by far the best.
“Why don’t you want him to know I’m your boyfriend?” he asked in a quiet voice, after Davey had grabbed a few toys from the basket beside the window and decided to play with them in his room, where he had the makeshift zoo he’d built that morning still set up.
She slid Jonah a careful look, trying not to show her surprise. “Are you my boyfriend? I mean, not to sound all high school or anything, but are we making it official?”
There was an unmistakable look of determination in his dark gaze. “I thought I made it clear that that’s what I want.”
“And I…I want that too,” she murmured, her heart pounding as she tucked a wayward curl back behind her ear. “But I have to be careful. You’re the first man who wasn’t just a friend that I’ve let Davey hang out with, and I don’t want him to get hurt when this ends.”
He tensed. “You mean if, right? If this ends.”
Moving onto her knees beside him, she took his handsome, rugged face in her hands. “I don’t want it to end, okay? That’s not what I’m saying,” she tried to explain, shivering from the feel of his dark auburn stubble against her palms. “But this is all very new for you, and I don’t think either of us really knows how you’re going to handle being in a relationship. You only just decided that you wanted one not even two days ago.”
Curling his big hands around her wrists, he kept his voice low as he said, “I get what you’re saying, baby. But it’s bullshit.”
“Jonah—”
“No, listen to me, Jace. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t completely fucking sure, all the way to my bones, that I’m going to make this work.”
She bit her lip again as she nodded, wanting so badly to believe him.
“But I’ll play it your way with Davey until you’re ready,” he murmured, letting go of her wrists.
She sat back on her heels, lips curling in a small smile of relief. “Thank you for understanding.”
“But I don’t want to wait forever.”
“For what?” she laughed, trying to tease him. “Our first night of sex?”
“No. Though I sure as hell hope you’re not planning on making me wait forever for that,” he replied with one of those crooked, sin-drenched smiles. “But I’m talking about us. I don’t want to have to hide that we’re together.”
Oh, God. “Don’t you think we should give things a little time to get settled first?”
“So you’re okay with hiding it from the people we work with?” he asked, his tone a mixture of surprise and concern. “From our friends?”
She shook her head and grabbed his hand, holding it in both of hers. “No. I just…I don’t know. I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet.”
Rubbing his free hand over his jaw, he said, “I’d at least like to let the guys know. I don’t want to keep this from them. Are you okay with that?”
“I won’t lie and say that I’m completely comfortable with it, but I understand. So, yeah, we can go ahead and tell Gabe and the others. And I need to tell my best friend, Rey.”
He took a moment to study her face…her eyes, and then he gave her a slow smile. “Then I guess we have a plan.”
She leaned over and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, the heat in his heavy-lidded gaze when she pulled back as searing as the roiling center of a flame.
“You won’t regret this,” he said, pushing his hand into her hair and cupping the back of her head in his palm. “I swear it, Jace. I’m not going to do anything to screw this up.”
Licking her bottom lip again, she asked, “So then that means that you’re my boyfriend and we’re…monogamous?” At his sharp look, she awkwardly went on. “I just wanted to make sure that you still feel that way. You know…about the monogamous part.”
“Christ, baby, I’m not going to change my mind,” he grunted, the gritty words thick with frustration. “And my past might be…well, you know what it is. But there’s no way in hell I’m dragging that shit into our relationship.”
Actually, she didn’t know. Not exactly. But she wasn’t going to push him on that now. She knew he had a painful past, but she’d decided to take the advice that Denny had given her last week and give him time. So instead of pushing him, she simply said, “Okay.”
“Sweetheart, look at me.” When she lifted her gaze from where she’d been staring at the heavy beat of his pulse at the base of his throat, he said, “If that was what I wanted, then I wouldn’t be here. I might not deserve you, but now that I’ve got this chance, I’m not going to be an idiot and throw it away.”
A wry smile twisted her lips. “It just seems like you’re going from caviar and Cristal to cheese puffs and juice boxes.”
His eyes widened, and then he snorted under his breath, shaking his head. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
She blinked with confusion. “Get what?”
“This weekend has been the most fun that I’ve had in years. I honestly can’t remember a time when I’ve laughed as much, or had—”
“You’re not bored?” she asked, cutting him off.
“Jesus, Jocelyn, do I look bored to you? I love just spending time with you, no matter what we’re doing, and there isn’t a goddamn boring thing about it. Every second I’m with you, I’m learning something new about you. And everything I learn just makes me want you that much more, when I already want you so badly I’m surprised I can even walk straight half the time.”
She couldn’t help but giggle at that, and his mesmerizing gaze turned molten.
“You think that’s funny, you little devil?”
This time, she was the one snorting softly under their breath. “I think you’re pretty adorable.”
“Adorable?” he laughed, grinning as he pulled her back onto his lap. “I’ll take it,” he murmured in a silky rasp, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers. “I’d also like for you to think of me as sexy-as-fuck and mouthwatering. But adorable works too, so long as it means I get to keep you.”
“So you’re really this desperate for a girlfriend?” she teased, trailing the tips of her fingers along his rugged jaw. “Who are you and what have you done with the real Jonah Cartwright?”
“Funny,” he husked, a smile on his lips as he brushed his mouth over hers. But then he pulled his head back, and his expression sobered as he quietly said, “I finally get it. Ever since you came to work at Atlas, I’ve known that something wasn’t the same—I just didn’t know what. And I spent a lot of that time trying…not to think about you, because I wanted you, and you wanted nothing to do with me. But you would pop into my head at the most inopportune times—”
She winced, not wanting to think about when those “times” might have been.
“—and every day, every week, it got worse.” He exhaled his next breath with a quiet, gritty laugh, the look in his dark eyes so beautiful it made her gasp. “And then you finally started talking to me, and I wanted you even more. For the first time in my life, Jace, I got jealous over a woman. That’s never happened to me. Not even when… Well, just trust me when I say it’s not anything that I’ve ever had to deal with before.”
Gently, she said, “But jealousy doesn’t make a relationship, Jonah.”
“No,” he agreed. “It just means that I don’t want my friends, or any other man out there, touching you. But at the risk of sounding like a total sap, it’s the way you make me feel when I’m with you, and when I’m not with you, that tells me I need to make you a part of my life or die trying. And not just any part—but a really fucking important one.”
“There you again,” she said, her voice all soft and breathless, “saying the perfect thing.”
“Yeah? Because I haven’t even gotten to how insanely beautiful I think you are. Or how hot you make me.
Or how just kissing you somehow puts me right on the edge,” he rasped, keeping that smoldering gaze locked tight with hers. “But now I finally get what the big deal is about wanting only one person, and I don’t want to hide it or ignore it. I just want to enjoy the hell out of it.
“And I’m so fucking sorry for how I handled everything. For all the shitty things that I’ve said to you since that morning in the conference room. I was just trying to put the blame on you, instead of manning up and facing the way that I feel about you. And I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. All I can do is show you that I’m better than that, and that I’ll treat you better, because that’s what you deserve.” Brushing his thumb across her cheek as he cupped the side of her face in his hand, he asked, “Can you forgive me?”
“Yeah,” she sniffed, doing her best to fight back the tears that were suddenly burning at the backs of her eyes.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” He gave her another one of those tender kisses, then looked her right in the eye and said, “Now tell me what you want.”
“Me?”
“Yeah you,” he said, sounding a bit nervous, his hooded gaze searching hers. “I’m putting it all out on the line here, Jace. It’d be good to know that I’m not alone.”
“Well, I…I think you know that the reason I was always running from you is because I didn’t trust myself with you,” she told him, stroking her fingers through his thick, gorgeous hair. “I liked everything about you, except for your reputation—and when you would act like a jerk. But I knew you could be dangerous to me, so I did my best to stay out of your way.”
His dark eyes gleamed. “And is it more than just physical for you?”
“Yes,” she admitted with a wobbly smile. Her cheeks were burning, but she was determined to give him the same honesty that he’d given her. “You’re hot as sin, but I wouldn’t risk my emotions on a pretty face, Jonah. There’s so much more to you than that. And I think…I think you’re still figuring that out, aren’t you?”
“I think you just make me want to be a better man,” he said in a soft growl, looking like he wanted to devour her…in a really delicious way.
“We both just want to be the best that we can,” she said, “so we’ll help each other and figure it all out together.”
Curving his hand around the back of her neck, he tugged her closer. “So then we’re official, right?”
“You want me to say the words?”
He sucked in a hard, deep breath, and she could have sworn she felt his rigid cock twitch against her hip as he quietly said, “You bet your fuckable little ass I do.”
With her fingers pressed against his lips to stop him from saying anything else outrageous, and a happy, excited smile on her face, she gave him what he wanted to hear. “Yeah, we’re official. You’re my boyfriend, I’m your girlfriend, and we’re going to do everything we can to make this work.”
He looked like he was ready to seal the deal right then and there, so Jocelyn figured it was a good time to get off his lap. Pressing a quick kiss to his firm, masculine lips, she moved back to her feet, and was keenly aware of Jonah’s hungry gaze watching her as she leaned over and picked up their dirty coffee mugs, which needed to be taken to the sink.
“And just so you know,” she whispered, after leaning down and putting her lips close to his ear as she walked past him, “you’re staying away from my ass.”
He laughed something deliciously low and sexy that made her shiver as she made her way into the kitchen, her heart beating even harder…faster.
Because she could have sworn he’d said, “Don’t bet on it, baby.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
It was a beautiful day out, so they decided to go for a walk before dinner, and as he waited for Jocelyn and Davey to get their shoes on, Jonah rested his head against the back of the sofa, feeling mellower than he had in months—hell, even years—which was a far cry from the mood he’d been in when the day had started.
He’d been knotted with tension that morning, until Jocelyn had opened her door and smiled at him. Not only because he’d missed her, but because he’d seen that there’d been a call on his house phone from his old man when he’d gotten home last night, which was never a good sign. He hadn’t called the bastard back, but the timing gave him a bad fucking feeling.
Here he was, starting his first serious relationship in over a decade, and out of the blue Carter suddenly just wanted to talk to him, when they hadn’t spoken in years? What were the odds?
And if the jackass thought he was going to cause problems for him and Jocelyn, he’d end up regretting it. Jonah had put up with a lot of his father’s shit over the years, but not this time. No way in hell. He’d protect what he and Jocelyn were building with every weapon at his disposal, no matter how brutal the fight.
When everyone was ready, they headed over to one of the local parks and let Davey play on the swings for a bit, while he and Jocelyn took turns pushing him. It was another first for Jonah, and one he hoped he’d get to repeat, again and again. The future was what he wanted—future days, weekends, months, years—and he’d have been willing to bet his fortune that it was what she wanted too. And yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something looming over his shoulder, just waiting to reach out and rip it all away from him.
He knew Jocelyn had decided to give him some time, thinking that he’d eventually get to a place where he was comfortable talking to her about his past. But that… Yeah, that wasn’t ever going to happen. Just imagining it made him break out in a cold sweat.
So whatever it took to keep this thing they’d started headed in the right direction, that’s what he’d do.
Even if he had to bleed down to the fucking bone for it.
By the time they made it back to her apartment and started cooking dinner together, Jonah had managed to bury some of the worry, his focus turning instead to how he could start working on that self-improvement they’d talked about, and he decided to ask Gabe about it sometime during the week. If anyone knew about shaking off the demons of your past and embracing a new direction for your future, it was Gabriel, and Jonah had no doubt that the guy would be there for him in whatever way he needed.
After dinner, he offered to wash up again so that Jocelyn could read to Davey, and then he looked over some emails on his phone while she got the little guy bathed and ready for bed. Davey came running into the living room in his Spiderman pajamas and gave Jonah a big hug goodnight, and he promised the kid that he’d see him soon, before Jocelyn picked him up and carried him back to his room.
Grabbing the remote for the TV, Jonah flicked through the channels until he found one of his favorite action flicks, figuring he’d be lucky if he got the chance to cuddle up with her on the sofa for an hour or two before she sent him home. He’d have loved to strip her bare and spend the rest of the night licking her addictive little pussy to one creamy orgasm after another, but was so on edge he wasn’t sure his heart, or his dick, could take it—and no way in hell was he going to push her to give him something she still wasn’t ready for.
“Keeping my hands off her for one fucking night won’t kill me,” he muttered under his breath, wondering if tomorrow he’d be able to work himself into a deep enough state of exhaustion at the gym that he could take care of her the way she deserved, without his dick giving him any trouble.
Then again, all she had to do was look at him in that sweet, sexy-as-hell way of hers, and his cock got as hard as a fucking spike, so he doubted it would work.
She came back about fifteen minutes later, saying that Davey was already out like a light, and snuggled up against him on the sofa. “I love this movie,” she murmured, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, and Jonah started silently reciting the stats of all his favorite football players, determined to just chill the fuck out so that he could enjoy this time with her. But his need for this woman was so intense it was damn near tearing his insides to shreds—his dick so hard he thought he
might actually come in his jeans if she so much as brushed up against him through the denim.
He got so wrapped up in his head, it took him a second to realize that she’d turned the movie down and was talking to him.
“…and you have an early meeting in the morning,” she murmured, moving to her feet and giving him a blushing smile as she held her hand out to him. “Come on. You should head home and get some sleep.”
He sighed as he stood up as well, hating that he was getting kicked out, but figured it was for the best. She hadn’t even mentioned his hard-on, and not to sound cocky or anything, but he knew there was no way that she’d missed it, so she clearly needed some more time. And while Jonah would have given his left nut for things to be different—for her to be begging him to take her to bed and fuck her beautiful little brains out until she couldn’t remember her own name—he sure as hell wasn’t going to complain. He knew how lucky he was to have this shot with her, and if he had to wait for weeks, or even months, he would. It might damn well kill him, but he’d do it. That’s how badly he needed this beautiful, amazing little blonde in his life.
I just need to cool it down and find some fucking self-control!
But when she pulled him into the tiny guest bathroom off the front hallway, instead of toward the front door, Jonah’s pulse started roaring in his ears, his chest lifting with a hard, deep breath, and everything he’d just told himself about cooling down went flying out the window. Through heavy-lidded eyes, he watched her shut the bathroom door, and then her hands were pushing against his chest, until she’d pressed him up against it.
Soft, amber light washed over them from above, and he curled his fingers under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “What are you doing, sweetheart?”
The Next Play: Part Two Page 8